“Yes. Very complicated,” I finally admitted. How much did he know? Had Aphrodite told him about me and Ryuu, much like she’d informed me about Nate loving another woman—who was obviously the secretive, highly intelligent, casually violent Kára currently bullying Gunnar and Alucard. If they cared for each other, why did the two of them seem to be eyeing each other across an empty dance floor, waiting to see who would make the first move? There was a tension between them, and it was explosive, but in an exciting way. I wondered how honest they had been with each other about their feelings. Pot, kettle, black. Just like my encounters with Ryuu.
Was I the source of the tension between Nate and Kára, just like he was the source of tension between me and Ryuu?
I needed to stop playing defense and stop worrying about Nate’s love life. That would only make me look like I was deflecting. I needed to cut the cord of romance between us without breaking his heart or hurting his feelings. To let him off easy. It was highly possible that he hadn’t yet consciously determined how he felt about Kára, despite Aphrodite’s valiant efforts to shove them into bed together.
“He’s a stand-up guy, from what I’ve seen,” Nate said, gently, breaking the silence.
I nodded, realizing I was losing the upper hand in our conversation. If I wholeheartedly agreed with him, focusing on Ryuu, it would make me look fickle and temperamental. I needed to end this on my own terms. Ryuu was not a part of the conversation. Maybe Nate was trying to lead me towards Ryuu in hopes that it would restore some of his own dignity—giving him an excuse as to why we were no longer an item. A scapegoat for his self-esteem. That was the worst way to handle this.
Especially if he still had feelings for me and didn’t know how to let go. What if he was trying to give me an excuse to end it so that I didn’t feel guilty? To make himself into a martyr for my happiness. The whole I’m the wrong kind of guy for you, Callie; you deserve to be happy shtick.
So…I needed to sever the romance between us without involving any third parties and without stomping on his heart. If I agreed too vehemently with his encouragement to end it between us, I would come across as relieved that I had dodged a bullet. He would feel utterly rejected and unlovable at a point in his life when he needed to be focused. That might even cause him to rebound onto Kára, ruining any chance they might have at a real relationship.
I needed to go on offense. He’d said complicated in reference to my feelings for Ryuu. But we hadn’t yet spoken about his own complicated situation, or who his non-mystery woman might be. In fact, we hadn’t even addressed the topic that he had a mystery woman—something I only knew thanks to Aphrodite’s meddling.
I squared my shoulders and faced him, averting my eyes so I could read his body language. “Who is she?”
Nate smiled, immediately glancing over at Kára. Bingo.
She was now holding her palm out and Gunnar was begrudgingly counting out cash into her hand. For some reason, Alucard had been roped into the apparent protection racket and was reaching back for his own wallet with a shell-shocked look on his face. She was extorting them. I found myself smirking in approval and wondering when we would be close enough for me to learn her tactics. I also found myself wondering why Nate believed she was under an illusion.
“My bartender,” Nate muttered dryly, aiming for some levity.
I met his eyes with a slow, mischievous smile. “I wasn’t asking about Kára. I was asking about your complication.” Nate flinched and his cheeks flushed, only now realizing the trap he’d stumbled into. “Maybe they are one and the same,” I mused, setting the hook now that he’d taken the bait. “You don’t know who Kára really is, after all,” I said, meaningfully, as my eyes settled on the illusion breaking floor he stood on. “Or else you wouldn’t have asked her to walk over here and stand beside you.”
Nate narrowed his eyes at my obvious victory. The Ryuu situation had just been neutralized and I could now focus on breaking it off between us without involving either of our complications. I absently wondered if the illusion barrier would work on revealing an Archangel or Archdemon’s true identity. If so, I could find out where these statues were made and have some shipped to Castle Dracula to ferret out my own spies and traitors.
Nate let out a defeated breath. “To be honest, Callie, I don’t know,” he said, glancing at Kára again, attempting to deny his obvious feelings for her. “That’s part of the fun, I guess.”
As much as I wanted to discover who she really was, I couldn’t afford to go down the path of talking about anything other than us. I had one goal—clear out any and all obstacles currently preventing me from going on a nighttime adventure with Ryuu, a bottle of wine, and a big fluffy bed.
“No,” I said, firmly, flashing him a knowing smile. “You know.”
Nate’s shoulders sagged, defeatedly and he smirked. “If I do, I’m too dense to tell myself the truth,” he said. I gave him a flat look that was about as subtle as folding my arms and tapping my foot. “I’m serious, Callie. I love a lot of people in different ways. You, for example. We could have been great together. Sure, we have our differences. Who doesn’t? We could’ve worked them out, though, and had a great time in the process.”
This. This was exactly what I’d been aiming for. I had to agree but not be cruel. I smiled, sadly. “I agree.”
“So, why didn’t we?”
I gathered my thoughts, staring off into the middle distance. “I…don’t know. It never felt like the right time.”
“Later,” he said with a firm nod. “I’m thinking it was too easy. Or maybe our timing was just off. Or maybe we were both wrong. The point is, I love you, Callie. But there is a very strong doubt deep within me. I don’t know why or what it means, but it’s there. A gut feeling.”
“You sound like Aphrodite,” I said, smirking.
Nate stiffened, looking suddenly alarmed. “You’ve spoken with Aphrodite?”
I nodded. “She kept encouraging me—in unacceptable ways—to question my heart.”
He licked his lips, nervously. “Did you, by any chance, have your doubts before Aphrodite came to you?”
“Yes. Otherwise I would have stabbed her in the heart for trying to manipulate me.”
Nate let out a long breath, relieved by my answer. “Yeah,” he said, too quickly. “Me, too,” he assured me, lamely.
I cocked my head, surprised at how poorly he was lying. He was usually much better. Not when it came to matters of the heart, it seemed. “You…liar!” I crowed, swatting him in the shoulder. Then I doubled over with laughter, realizing why he was so embarrassed. “You totally fell for her come hither, didn’t you?” I hooted, imagining Aphrodite seducing him into oblivion.
Nate’s ears turned bright red and he folded his arms stubbornly. “It’s not funny. I was vulnerable and we didn’t do—”
I laughed even harder, surprised that I wasn’t hurt or offended by his discomfort or the thought of him being seduced by another woman, even if it was the goddess of sex.
“No. Listen, Callie. I was her prisoner—”
I roared with giggles at that, fighting to breathe. “In her kinky sex dungeon! You idiot!”
Nate narrowed his eyes. “Okay, fine. I might have led her on. For strategic reasons.”
I shook my head, struggling to catch my breath.
“No one takes me seriously, and I’m getting sick and tired of it,” he complained, scowling.
I finally managed to get a hold of my laughter, forcing it down deep. I straightened and wrapped him up in a hug. I kissed his forehead and then rested my cheek against his chest. He hugged me back, looking relieved and awkward, all at the same time. “How about this. If we find out that Aphrodite fucked me like she fucked you…” I trailed off, waiting a few moments to see if he would admit to any specific event with Aphrodite that I could later use to blackmail him with. He didn’t, so I continued. “We will save each other for a rainy day.”
Nate sighed, resting his cheek on the top of my h
ead. “And we come full circle,” he breathed, his body relaxing.
I pulled away, frowning at his tone. “What?”
“Later,” he explained. “It’s always later with us. I think that’s kind of the point.”
I nodded, surprised that he had come to the same conclusion as I had. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” After a few minutes of thoughtful silence, I nudged him with my hip. “Tell me about that bartender, loverboy.”
He squirmed, uncomfortable, and I grinned wider.
40
He shook his head, purposely not looking over at Kára. “That really was a slip of the tongue.”
“Exactly,” I said with a shit-eating grin.
Nate rolled his eyes. “If she was the one, these cuffs would have fallen off,” he said, showing me his Titan Thorns. And I could practically taste the pain and frustration in his voice. He wanted it to be Kára, but the cuffs were giving him doubts. I frowned vexedly, inspecting them. He’d taped them up, hastily and messily, to attach the black Sensates to the leather. The cuff was covered in runes and symbols, causing me to take a sharp breath of recognition. The Omegabet. I didn’t know any of the symbols, but they tickled at me like the missing words of a catchy song chorus. I now fully understood why they were so effective in blocking his magic and disguising him. “Kára really likes me,” he continued, choosing his words very carefully, “and I won’t deny that I really like her, too. But she has a lot of secrets.” I arched an eyebrow at him, and he chuckled guiltily. “I’m not making excuses or being hypocritical, I’m just pointing out facts. I’m sick and tired of being blindsided by those I let close to me. I want raw, unfiltered honesty.”
“Is that your love language?” I asked. “Aphrodite asked me about mine.”
Nate shook his head. “Physical touch.”
I blinked at him a few times, and then I started laughing again. “You are such a guy!” I said, smacking his shoulder.
He shrugged, smirking shamelessly. “I am a proud member of the Man Club, and I’ve memorized our Code. United, we are unstoppable. I stand ready to serve.”
I scoffed, glancing back at Kára—who was now pacing back and forth before Gunnar and Alucard like she was giving them a military dress inspection. The two men stood at attention, nodding stiffly. She and I would get along fine. Nate scowled at the pair, offended by their lack of spines.
“What was your love language?” he asked, focusing back on me.
“It was a tie,” I admitted. “Acts of service and quality time.” In my peripheral vision, I saw a Gateway open near Gunnar and Alucard. Kára stepped through into what looked like a bar before it winked out behind her. The two men let out a silent sigh of relief, refusing to make eye contact with each other. I barely stopped myself from bursting out with laughter.
Nate was staring off into the middle distance, lost in thought, so he didn’t even notice her departure. After a few moments, he nodded, pensively. “Ryuu seems like he’d be good at those.”
My smile was much toothier than I’d intended. “He is, even though I didn’t notice it at first.”
“How long have you known him anyway?”
“Not long enough to justify my feelings,” I said, shrugging. “Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe we’re both wrong. Who knows?”
Nate grunted. “Well, if we’re both wrong, neither one of us has to tell anyone about it. And this way, you can’t say I told you so.”
I scoffed. “You’re so childish, and Ryuu is so much more mature. I guess I’m glad I’m leaving you,” I teased.
“Good luck with that. You can’t leave me. The floor is lava,” Nate said, pompously, pointing at the ground like a child.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s always winning with you.”
“I have it on good authority that winning arguments is the key to a happy relationship.”
“Oh? Aphrodite tell you that?” I asked, dryly.
“Hera,” he said, shaking his head with grim fascination. “I’ve never seen a woman hate her husband so much. It was endearing. She also said love is for losers.”
I grimaced at mention of yet another Olympian in the mix. Apparently, Nate had been schmoozing it up with all of them. “Sounds like a real piece of work.”
Nate nodded. “She’s a lush. Reminds me of Miss Hannigan in Annie.” A mental image of the drunk, red-headed orphanage director from the popular musical came to mind and I actually cringed. “Hey, on a serious note. Do you know why Carl was wearing a cowboy hat when he brought Ryuu back?” Nate asked with a perplexed frown.
I choked on a laugh, imagining Carl wearing Xylo’s cowboy hat and a trench coat—and how horrified the Bone Heir King would be about the news. “It belongs to Xylo. He likes hats. Says they help him fit in.” I shook my head, frowning. “I was wondering why Xylo was so agitated earlier. Why did Carl take that?”
“Some answers can be worse than the questions, Callie. I think twice before asking Carl anything these days. Apologize to Xylo for me. I’ll get it back.” He paused, reconsidering his vow. “You know what? How about I just write you a check for damages. Carl can be possessive.”
I smiled. “Just forget about it.” Sensing a lull in our conversation, and feeling a strong desire to get back to Kansas City to check on everyone and make preparations for my return to St. Louis tonight, I pointed towards Gunnar and Alucard. Nate frowned, momentarily confused. “She left through a Gateway about five minutes ago,” I told him. “Looked like the inside of a bar. Need a ride?” I asked, gesturing at his Titan Thorns, assuming he couldn’t make his own exit. Which meant…Kára had left him here on purpose, wanting him to finish his private, very important romance-killing conversation with me. She’d given him space to do as he saw fit.
Nate nodded, frowning with concern at her unannounced departure—because he was a big idiot and didn’t realize that Kára had been doing it for everyone’s benefit. Especially hers, I thought to myself with an appreciative grin.
“Please,” Nate said. “Mind dropping me off at Buddy Hatchet? Unless you don’t know where that is.”
“Oh, I scoped it out,” I admitted in a forced, blasé tone. Nate studied me suspiciously, making my cheeks heat up so I punched him in the shoulder for what felt like the tenth time today. “Heard you were a local there and I had one too many glasses of wine one night,” I muttered.
Nate nodded, looking oddly serious rather than amused by my admission. “Nothing happened, Callie,” he assured me. “I didn’t—” He cut off abruptly and his face went pale. “I kissed her this morning—”
I leaned forward and pressed a finger to his lips, smiling dismissively. “It’s okay, Nate. The fact that you even told me says a lot. And the fact that it was only this morning means even more. You had already made up your mind by then. And…I had too, technically. We just hadn’t compared notes yet,” I told him.
Inside, I was doing the happy lingerie dance. Callie’s got a free pass! I chanted, over and over again in my mind.
Nate’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a sigh of relief. Nate must have seen some of my suppressed joy because his look shifted to one of suspicion. “So…how long has it been since your last confession, Miss Penrose?” he asked, smirking.
Damn him.
“How about that Gateway?” I blurted, calling up a portal less than a foot away from him, causing him to stumble back a step with a muttered curse. “There. It leads to a nearby alley since I never actually had the stones to go inside,” I admitted. “Well, I didn’t trust my self-restraint, to be accurate.”
Nate stared at it, silently.
“Did you have something else on your mind?” I asked, frowning uneasily. Why hadn’t he leapt through as quickly as possible? Was he having doubts, or did he have something else important to say to me?
Nate nodded. “Someone needs to end the bank meeting,” he said, sounding as if he’d meant to say something else.
I studied him, thoughtfully, waiting to see if he would come clean.
He didn
’t. Instead, he hopped through, taking my silence as an agreement. “Goodbye, Callie. I’ll give Ryuu a very inappropriate hug for you and tell him how much you cried—”
“You wouldn’t,” I hissed, clenching my fists. He grinned wolfishly and I stared up at the ceiling with an annoyed sigh. “You’re impossible,” I snarled, wondering how he could switch back and forth between serious and mischievous without any apparent effort.
“I prefer incorrigible,” Nate said, smiling wider.
I closed the Gateway on his smug smirk.
After a few moments, I felt a purely inappropriate grin split my face. I’d done it! Ryuu was mine. ALL MINE! I would have to make our first official date special. A nice dinner and a new dress. Privacy. We would definitely need—
“So…” Gunnar said from directly behind me, startling the hell out of me. “Does that mean we can leave now?”
I took a calming breath, fighting to get my pulse back under control. Only then did I slowly turn to give him a withering glare. “I don’t know,” I said, sweetly. “Did Kára give you permission to leave?”
Their sudden scowls made me deliriously happy, so I ripped open a Gateway back to Chateau Falco. They hopped through, talking over each other about what they needed to do to get ready for the ultimate meeting with Zeus later tonight. They took half a dozen steps before realizing I hadn’t followed. Alucard turned, frowning at me. “You coming?”
I shook my head. “I have angel, demon, and Nephilim assassins after me right now. Hanging out near you guys will only put targets on your backs. And I need to get back to check on my people if you want me focused for tonight’s debacle. Text me when it’s time to fight the Olympians, I guess.”
Gunnar slowly turned to stare at me with one widening eye. “Text you. When it’s time to fight the Olympians,” he repeated, deadpan.
“Do you know how insane that sounds?” Alucard asked in a high-pitched voice. “How insane any of this is? Have any of us stopped, taken a breath, and reconsidered our life decisions or are we just going to accept this crazy ass shit as normal?” he asked, flustered.
Trinity: Feathers and Fire Book 9 Page 23