A field of fae corpses lay around me, skin blackening, turning gray….
I gasped at the wave of horror that washed over me.
Powerful hands clasped me by the waist, and the image dissipated. Ruadan had jumped, and he was standing behind me now, his powerful body pressed against mine. I slowed my breath, inhaling deeply. A thin sheen of sweat had bloomed on my skin, and my blood roared in my ears. But my mind was no longer flooded with disturbing memories.
Shadow magic curled from my fingertips. Somehow, with his touch, Ruadan was helping me channel that magic so that it didn’t overwhelm my mind. It was as if his body helped to ground the magic in my mind. Now, with Ruadan’s warm hands on my waist, his fingers over my hips, I could feel the shadow magic pulsing up my legs, skimming over my thighs.
But that disturbing image from the darkest depths of my memory still lingered, and another wave of shadow magic slammed into me.
Chapter 18
My legs trembled. Even with Ruadan’s help, I felt like my body was rejecting the shadow magic. I leaned back against his powerful form, my head tucked under his chin. Still, darkness clouded my mind once more. The next thing I knew, I was walking in those tall grasses, fae blood staining the soil….
Glaciers slid through my bones, wracking me with shivers. I was freezing from the inside out, teeth chattering.
Ruadan’s arms slid tighter around me, encircling my waist. His embrace warmed me, and some of the shivering relented. He dispelled the disturbing memory from my mind.
Why was I thinking about those terrible memories now? I’d worked so hard to forget.
Heat radiated from Ruadan’s powerful body into mine. When another surge of ice flooded my veins, Ruadan’s hands shot up, and he unclasped the crystal from my neck. He stepped in front of me, his brow furrowed.
Tremors wracked me, and I hugged myself. “I know. It’s not working.”
He pulled out a piece of paper and wrote on it.
We’re going to start from the bottom up. Use the stone to anchor you.
I frowned. “What?”
He shoved the paper and pencil back into his pocket. Then, he put his hands on my hips and guided me back against a wall, pressing on my shoulders until they were flat against the stone. Warming me with his touch, he cupped my chin. He guided my head back against the wall until my spine lined up completely with the stone. I looked up at him, meeting his violet gaze, breathing in the smell of pine. So easy to get taken in by his stark beauty, so easy to forget what he really was—a cold-blooded killer.
“Why did you slaughter your last two novices?” I asked.
His fingers tensed on my hips, and for just a moment, shadows slid through his eyes until they darkened to pitch. And there was the shadow demon, eyes the color of the darkest hell. Icy dread raked a claw up my spine. That question really pissed him off for some reason.
“Quite handy, isn’t it?” I said. “Only speaking when you want to.”
He seemed to gain some mastery over himself, his eyes shifting back to violet with silver flecks, and his muscles relaxed. I wasn’t going to get an answer. Fine. I needed to remember that even if he was my mentor—and even if his magic felt delicious—I’d never be safe with him.
He grasped my hands in his, then turned my palms to face the wall. I understood the intent—I was supposed to keep as much of my body pressed firmly against the wall as possible, and use the contact with the stone wall to stabilize the magic. I splayed out my fingers over the stone.
Then, with his thumbs pressed into my hips, he straightened the small of my back against the wall. Ruadan’s magic thrummed over my skin. Pressed against the wall, with my head tilted back, I felt strangely vulnerable before him.
Once again, he lifted the necklace. But this time, he clasped it around his own throat. It took me a moment to understand, but he was going to channel the power from his own body into mine, to act as sort of a conduit. That way, he could temper the intense torrent of magic. While I stood, pressed against the wall, he knelt before me.
For just a moment, I imagined that I was his queen, and he was my subject, and it gave me a little thrill. A smile curled my lips. But the feeling was quickly over when his fingertips met my ankles, sending an intense jolt of shadow magic into my blood.
When I peered down, I could actually see the tendrils of dark magic curling around my bare legs. Slowly, Ruadan brushed his fingers over my ankles, then further up my calves. Every stroke of his fingers brought a rush of powerful tingles. Channeled through Ruadan, the power no longer overwhelmed me. It felt like an intense electrical rush over my skin.
Breathing in deeply, I tuned into the solidity of the rock behind my back, pressing myself firmly against the wall. It did work as a sort of anchor, diffusing some of the power of the shadow magic. Ruadan traced his hands further up my legs toward the hem of my dress, and my breath quickened at the feel of his hands on my thighs, under the hem. I trembled, the magic growing a little more powerful now. He spread out his fingers over my bare thighs. His touch felt distractingly good on my body, and my breath hitched.
As I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t help the rush of molten heat that swept through my belly. His hands moved higher. My skin was warming, and I started to feel an overwhelming urge to crush myself against him. There were reasons this was a bad idea, but my thoughts had become too muddled for coherent thoughts. The air felt charged between us. My pulse raced, my mind no longer filling with dark memories. Now—much to my horror—my body was responding to him in a different way.
I stared at his mouth, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him. Something flared in his eyes, too. Was that desire snaking off his torso?
As his hands moved over me, his gaze roamed down my body. Slow, appreciative—as if he were imagining what I looked like without my dress on. His gaze lingered over my breasts, definitely taking notice of my hardening nipples beneath the fabric. My chest flushed with desire and embarrassment. He definitely knew how turned on I was right now, and there was no way to hide it.
Whatever he was thinking, it was no longer the cold, clinical look he’d given me before. His magic thrummed up my legs.
When I licked my lips, his gaze flashed to my mouth. His nostrils flared, fingers tightening on my hips. I thought of his canines at my throat, and bizarrely, the thought made me groan. Heat swooped through my core. My mind was blazing with a vision: Ruadan, spinning me around, grazing his canines over my neck. He’d rip off my knickers and fill me until I shuddered beneath him. Wild need overtook me, an ache building between my thighs.
Gods help me, some primal fae instinct was taking over and I wanted him desperately, even if the thought horrified me. I imagined my naked body sliding against his, his fingers stroking between my legs while I climaxed.
I knew he felt my desire when his eyes began darkening again, his own animal instincts taking over.
Night magic poured into me from his fingertips, and he pressed in closer. A stroke of his thumb on my hips—up and down, up and down—told me this was no longer just about magic, and the little moan I emitted confirmed it for him. He leaned in closer, his breath warming my neck. I was drawing him into my orbit, too.
His powerful shadow magic followed his hands up to my waist, and an intoxicating power pulsed in my core. Against my will, my back arched. I had to fight hard to remember to keep my fingers splayed against the wall, that I wasn’t supposed to grip him by the hair and pull his mouth to mine.
Hands. Pressed. Against. The wall.
A vein in Ruadan’s neck throbbed.
He ran one of his hands up my body, stroking up my back. Then he fisted my hair, his touch almost rough. With a dominating grip, he tilted my neck back, exposing my throat. My heart raced out of control. When he pressed his mouth to my neck, I moaned. His magic was distinctly, overwhelmingly sexual, and it had an intense effect on me.
He couldn’t be an incubus, could he? Incubi loved pleasure. It’s just that … he really felt like an
incubus right now.
His other hand stroked me under the cotton fabric of my dress. It moved higher up over my ribs, magic pulsing from his hands—
Then, he froze.
He jerked his hands away from me as if I’d burned him. He pulled away, and his magic snapped out of my body.
It was at that moment that reality came crashing down on me. My scars. They were all over my ribs. The jig was up. No bar fight stories could explain that carnage.
I tried to catch my breath, staring at him.
How could I have let him get so close? Knowledge over someone was power, and now he knew more about me than I’d intended. It was his stupid, pretty face, plus some kind of animalistic fae instincts urging me to mate with him. I wasn’t thinking clearly anymore, wasn’t being tactical. I needed a much uglier mentor to get through this.
I loosed a long breath. I didn’t think he’d directly connect me to Baleros. There’d been plenty of gladiator masters. Baleros just happened to be the cruelest.
Ruadan started writing on his paper, and I already knew what it would say before he handed it over.
Your body is covered in scars.
I crossed my arms, completely disoriented by the sudden absence of magic from my body, and also by the fact that, a few seconds ago, I’d been desperate to pull my clothes off.
I wasn’t sure why tears stung my eyes, but it only made the situation more embarrassing. I didn’t want him to know I’d been captured. I blinked, mastering control of myself, over my voice, before I answered. “Yep. From the arena.”
I didn’t want him to know me. Now, he was already looking at me differently, his eyes shining with something like pity. Exactly what I’d been dreading. Gladiators may have been fearsome warriors, but ultimately, we were slaves.
“You don’t need to feel sorry for me,” I snapped. “I survived. I’m proud of my scars.” Proud to have survived. Ashamed to have been captured in the first place.
He nodded, then I noticed his gaze sweeping up and down my body. I had the sense that he was reconsidering me in some way, but I wasn’t quite sure how.
He nodded, then handed me another piece of paper.
I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re strong. Let’s get back to training.
I loosed a slow breath. Good. That was over, and we could move on.
He gestured at the wall, and I understood I was supposed to back up against it again.
I pressed my legs, my spine, my fingers against the wall.
Ruadan began at my ankles once again. Working from the bottom up, his hands moved further up my legs—faster this time—and shadow magic surged along with his touch. A delicious, powerful magic tingled over my thighs, a hint of an electrical pulse that caressed me beneath my dress. His hands moved over my hips, my waist, leaving a rush of tingling magic in their wake. Night magic surged in my core. He brought his hands up further under my dress, his fingers just below my breasts.
Magic surged now, spilling from my ribs, out through my limbs, filling my fingertips, my toes, my head. Now, the magic felt like a part of me. Ruadan leaned in closer. He unclasped the necklace from his own neck.
His eyes locked on mine, pulsing with violet like the lumen crystal, and he secured it around my own neck.
Now, the power started to flood me again—darkness descending. But Ruadan wasn’t leaving. His powerful body was pressed against me, eyes locked on mine.
His canines were bared, eyes darkening as a dark, primordial power filled us both. He leaned down, the side of his face brushing mine.
Night magic was an intoxicating rush. Before he knew what was happening, I found that my arms were around Ruadan’s neck.
His hands slid around my thighs. I whispered his name. Now, his lips hovered just inches from mine. His sensual magic whispered through me, throbbing in my blood like a drug. He hoisted me up, his hands below my thighs, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pressed me against the wall, and a dark heat swooped through my belly. The desire definitely wasn’t just coming from me. It crackled between us like an electric charge.
Night magic surged, and I felt at one with the dark, with the void, with the perfect silence of a midnight sky….
I stared into Ruadan’s night-dark eyes, lost for a moment in the stark beauty of his features….
Baleros’s seventeenth law of power: Never let an opportunity go to waste.
Then, a voice whispered in the back of my mind. Baleros’s voice.
The World Key, the World Key, the World Key….
I had to see what was there. I reached for the collar of Ruadan’s shirt, and I just started to tug it down….
Then, his body tensed, his eyes returning to violet. He lowered me again to the floor.
The piece of paper he handed me read,
Your body has been charged with night magic. We’re done.
I was still catching my breath, aware of the embarrassing flush of my chest. “Is that how you train all your novices?” My voice came out a little sharp, and I wished I hadn’t said anything at all.
He’d returned to his usual state—animal stillness, violet eyes that burned into me. He knew what I’d tried to do, that I’d been looking for the key.
I lifted the lumen crystal from my throat. “Fine. So what happens now? Are you going to teach me to shadow-run?”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. But instead of answering, he crossed out of the room.
I glared at the doorway after he left. He’d caught me trying to get a glimpse at the World Key, and now I was one step further away from earning his trust.
Chapter 19
I sauntered across the Tower Green, sipping from my whiskey bottle on the way. A floral breeze kissed my skin.
I understood that the Shadow Fae reviled pleasure, but no one had taken away my whiskey yet, so for now, at least, it was my only real friend here.
As I walked, my heart was still racing out of control from the earlier encounter. At this point, I was nearly positive that Ruadan was an incubus, even if he didn’t act like one. Incubi inspired lust, and they fed off it, too.
I gritted my teeth, angry with myself for letting him catch me looking for his World Key. Now, he wouldn’t let me get anywhere near him. How angry was he, exactly? And what the fuck was I even looking for?
I needed some time to think. Since it seemed like he was attracted to me, maybe I could seduce him? Would he trust me that way? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t exactly a romance expert, and I didn’t know how to recreate the lust we’d felt in the tower room. I needed some more inspiration.
Instead of heading back to our shared room, I was making my way to the library. I pushed through a door, then climbed the dank tower stairwell until I reached the enormous hall.
My favorite Segway-riding librarian peered at me over the moon-shaped rims of her glasses, and I gave her a wave.
“Is there a romance section?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. I have my own collection, of course, but those are private. We do have a romantic histories section.”
“Fine. Can you show me where that is?”
She pointed to a wall in the library that was partially overgrown with moon flowers.
I crossed to it, clutching the straps of my backpack. Here, glittering moths dusted the books’ spines. I sat on the ground before the stack, and I found an old favorite—a love story about a young knight, sent to fetch a wife for his rich uncle. But during their journey home, the two of them drank love potions. They fell in love with each other instead.
I chewed on my lip. What I needed was a love potion. If he were completely under the thrall of lust magic, I could get a glimpse under his shirt. Maybe I could even get him to tell me the truth in the heat of the moment.
I closed the book in my lap. I had no idea how to make a love potion, and maybe I didn’t need to rely on magic, anyway. The intensity I’d felt as we’d trained told me he wanted me without magic. Heat had crackled between us.
Seducing him was the
best way to get to the World Key.
Despite the desire we’d both felt while training, I wasn’t exactly a genius at seduction. I’d had a boyfriend before, but that had been the result of getting drunk in Rufus’s bar, sleeping with a trumpet player, and then continuing to get drunk and sleep with the trumpet player until I realized we had absolutely nothing in common. Seduction was definitely not one of the skills taught at gladiator school. I’d literally spent my formative years in a cage. This was the sort of thing I’d have learned as a teenage girl if I hadn’t been so busy stabbing people to death, and now I was completely behind the eight ball.
I rose and started crossing to the exit. What I really needed was a female friend….
Melusine didn’t seem much like the seductive type, either, but she was a self-proclaimed genius.
I pushed through the door, heading out of the library into the glaring afternoon light.
As I crossed the Tower Green, I sniffed my way to Aengus’s room, following Melusine’s scent to a gleaming white tower.
Inside, I knocked on the door where her smell was the strongest. Melusine pulled it open. “Arianna. I wasn’t expecting to see you here. I have been practicing three kinds of magic to prepare for our next trial.”
“Oh, wow, that’s very—”
“Shadow leaping, an explosion spell, and a second kind of explosion spell with more fire. What have you been practicing?”
I scratched my cheek. Talk about being behind the eight ball. “Not much yet. Is Aengus here?” I asked in a whisper.
“No.” She opened the door further, motioning for me to enter.
Mahogany furniture ringed the room, and Aengus’s bed looked as if it had been carved from a giant stag’s antler. Here, a soft bed of moss grew on the floor, and a musky scent filled the room. I noticed right away that a second, smaller bed stood against one of the walls, and irritation simmered.
“You have a bed?” I snapped. “Ruadan didn’t give me a bed.”
She shrugged. “You sleep on the floor.”
Institute of the Shadow Fae Box Set Page 11