Still, his fingers were clamped on my waist, and he wasn’t pushing me away. In fact, his grip was growing tighter, almost pulling me closer. He was just … resisting.
I couldn’t quite bring myself to unlock my body from his.
“I need to get out of here,” I said. With a jolt, I realized I hadn’t made any progress on finding the key.
Unless....
I glanced at his bare chest, and my pulse started racing. There, on his sternum, a fae rune glowed with silver light. My heart began to race. The key was part of his body.
I sucked in a sharp breath, and dread coiled through me. If that was the key, I might as well give up now, because I would not be hauling Ruadan’s entire body to Baleros.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I pulled away from Ruadan, sitting up straight, the drafty air kissing my bare skin.
As soon as I moved away from Ruadan, I felt as if the void were ripping me apart from the inside out, and ice shuddered through me. My vision began darkening. I hadn’t been sent to the void, but I hadn’t escaped the effects of the dagger, either.
“I can’t stay here.” I mumbled. “I have to get out of here.” I had to get to Ciara. Maybe I could just kill Baleros. Frigid magic iced my blood, and my teeth chattered.
Ruadan reached for me, pulling me in close until his warmth enveloped me. My breathing slowed again, my heartbeat calming. And as I drifted off, I started dreaming of the booth again, of hard kisses and arching backs….
The cold woke me again, a bone-deep chill that had me scrambling to wrap myself in blankets. Through a darkening haze, I stared at Ruadan across the room. Thin slivers of moonlight streamed over the flagstones, and candles guttered in sconces, casting wavering light over Ruadan’s bare chest.
Shivering, I stared at the glowing mark on his chest. I pulled the blankets more tightly around me, watching as Ruadan touched his tattoo. It glowed with a pale, silvery light, like starlight. Darkness spilled out from his body.
Shadows writhed around the room, then gathered over a spot in the flagstone floor. The tendrils of darkness whirled in wild eddies, until at last, the stones opened up and gave way to dark, glistening water. A portal of midnight waters flecked with starlight.
Ice slid through me. It was the key on his chest, and it was a part of him. Cold panic coiled around my heart. There was no way out of this.
I stared as a dark pool of water opened in the floor, its rippled surface glinting. The void gaped deeper in my chest, and I pulled the blanket around myself to cover my bare breasts. I had no idea where my clothes were at this point—probably crammed deep in the blankets. It seemed as though I couldn’t bring myself to keep them on when I was around Ruadan and his particular brand of magic.
In any case, if Bael was about to come stark naked out of the water, he could hardly criticize my attire.
The cold was making my muscles seize up. Not just the cold, but that gnawing void, the painful emptiness….
I clenched my jaw, focusing on the World Key. I’d found it—what I’d been looking for all along. The only way to get it off Ruadan would be to kill him and cut it off him.
The void opened a bit larger in my chest, an emptiness so expansive it seemed like it was going swallow me whole.
I have to kill Ruadan.
Dark shadows whipped about him, slicing through the air around his body. He’d let down his guard, and he seemed to trust me now. He’d let me into his bed, taken his shirt off in front of me. He was no longer hiding the World Key from me, as if I could be trusted…. He clearly didn’t know me at all.
Baleros had turned me rotten through and through. Baleros had taught me to strike as soon as the enemy lowered his defenses. I could kill him in bed, take the skin from his chest—
Emptiness cut through me so sharply I thought I might die.
I stared as a beautiful man crawled out of the pool, his body dripping with water. His silver eyes had the cold sheen of moonlight, and dark curls framed his face.
The cold was making me convulse, and I fell back on the bed.
In another instant, Ruadan was by my side, scooping me into his lap. His magic stroked my skin, a velvety touch that warmed me. Had it been just a moment ago I’d been imagining how I’d kill him? Because right now, I was hugging him and leaning into his chest to breathe in the scent of pine. To say I felt conflicted was the understatement of the fucking year.
The silver-eyed one hovered over me, staring down with curiosity.
“Who are you?” I asked through chattering teeth.
“Caine.” He looked at Ruadan. “You’re telling me that someone stabbed her with a reaping dagger? One belonging to Nyxobas?”
How the fuck were they communicating? Ruadan wasn’t speaking.
“And she’s still alive?” Caine continued, incredulous. “What in the seven hells is she?”
If my nudity bothered him, he didn’t show it. When I glimpsed the faint ghost of phantom wings behind him, I had the sense that he might be part incubus, too.
“All right,” said Caine. “It seems as if part of the void is inside her. We can try to pull it out and absorb it. You’ll need to send it back into the shadow realm using the World Key.”
I was trying to tune into his words, although most of my thoughts were intensely focused on every place where Ruadan’s body touched mine. His bare chest was heating my naked body, and I stared at the glowing fae rune at his throat.
I was having a hard time concentrating on anything except Ruadan’s arms curling around me. It made it hard for me to think straight, and I wanted my mind back so I could start killing things again, like I was born to do.
But I could feel a wild, dark power trembling over my skin. The two gorgeous half-incubi closed their eyes. Now, the candles flickered in their sconces until they snuffed out, and the moonlight in the room began to dim. A thin frost spread over the stone floor, the bed—everything in the room but us. Glimmering shadows spilled from my body and whirled into Caine and Ruadan.
Even though cold seemed to be spreading within the room, my own body grew warmer. I closed my eyes, my mind whirling with cosmic visions—the birth of stars, the spinning of galaxies. A black hole, sucking in light. When I opened my eyes again, it looked to me as if the shadows in the room were breathing, like a bellows rhythmically expanding and contracting. My own breath moved in tune to the pulsing of the shadows.
In the darkness, in the hollow void of my chest, embers began to smolder, warming my ribs. I fell back into Ruadan’s arms, closing my eyes, and I breathed in the scent of pine.
Chapter 27
When I opened my eyes again, Ruadan had left. I sat up, letting the sheets fall off me, until I noticed the shadows writhing in the corner of the room. A pair of silver eyes glowed from the darkness.
Once my eyes adjusted to the whorls of dark magic, I realized that Caine was sitting in the corner, drinking straight out of my whiskey bottle. A raven sat on his shoulder, its head cocked. Caine’s clothes and hair were still damp from the portal.
The pool of starlit water still glimmered in the center of the room.
Caine sipped my whiskey. If he weren’t so shockingly good-looking, the whole “lurking in the shadows, drinking whiskey while a naked woman sleeps” situation would be beyond creepy, but pretty blokes could get away with anything.
I snatched the sheets up, covering my breasts, but he didn’t seem too bothered either way.
“You’re still here,” I said.
“Very observant. Ruadan did tell me you were clever, and you’re not proving him wrong so far.”
I arched an eyebrow. “He talks to you?”
“Not in words.”
“Right. Of course. That makes total sense.” I had no idea what he was talking about. It took me a moment to realize that I had now completely recovered from the reaping dagger. I no longer felt cold, or consumed with desire. “How did you fix me? How did you pull the shadow void from me?”
“The shadow void is already part of Ruadan and me. With our combined power, we were able to draw it into our bodies and absorb it. It doesn’t hurt us.”
I blinked. “What do you mean it’s already part of you?”
Caine took another sip of my whiskey. “Nyxobas is our grandfather.”
“Your grandfather is the god of night and shadows.”
“Hence, Ruadan and I are demigods of the night.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that make you a quarter—”
“Still considered demigods.”
“Sure you are.”
Caine narrowed his silver eyes, clearly irritated.
“So, what—you’re brothers?” I asked.
“Half-brothers. He’s even older than I am. I never knew he existed until after our father died.”
“I’m sorry about your dad.”
“Don’t be. Our father deserved his death.” Caine rose and slid the whiskey bottle across the stone table. “Thanks for the drink. My brother asked me to talk to you about something before I return to my realm.”
“What?”
“The fae who tried to kill you still lives in this fortress.”
Anger roiled in my chest. “Maddan? He should have been sent home in disgrace for fucking up our mission.”
A slow shrug from Caine. “Grand Master Savus wouldn’t allow it. He values ruthlessness, which is why you’re here, as I understand it. And more importantly, the prince’s father has been donating millions to the Institute.” Caine held up a glowing, violet lumen crystal. “But while Ruadan was beating the living shit out the fae boy, he pulled this off him. It should make it easier to defend yourself if he returns.”
“Where is Ruadan?” I asked.
“Still petitioning Grand Master Savus for permission to execute the fae prince.”
“Why does he want to execute him so badly?” Was he protective of me, or—?
“I think he just likes executing novices, to be honest. Particularly the rule-breaking kind.”
“Of course. The Shadow Fae value ruthlessness.” I let out a long, slow breath. Right. Don’t let this situation mess with your head, Arianna. He wasn’t trying to protect me. He just … liked executing novices.
Baleros’s seventh law of power: Kill, or be killed.
There was no way out of the Institute without breaking several rules. I was going to end up on Ruadan’s kill list, one way or another.
My chest tightened. Unless I took him out first.
Caine’s eyes pierced me to the bone. “What are you? Why didn’t the blade send you to the void?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea. I never knew my parents.”
He stared at me for an uncomfortably long time. “You aren’t as good a liar as you think you are.”
My breath caught in my throat. Caine was starting to get under my skin. “You and your brother are both deeply unnerving, do you know that?”
“I have a charming side. Ruadan does not, as you might have noticed. Silently brooding, disapproving of alcohol, updating his kill list, executing people…. Those are his favorite pastimes.”
“Mmm. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d say you’ve kept your charming side well-hidden so far.”
“You’re not wearing any clothes. The effect of my charm would be overwhelming. Like a human learning the true names of the gods.”
“Right.” Gods below. The ego on this guy.
I took the lumen crystal from him, staring at the violet glow. It almost seemed like Ruadan cared about keeping me safe, but I knew better than to trust gestures of kindness. I had to find a way to kill him.
Even though the two incubi had pulled the void out of my body, coldness still washed through me.
When I looked up again, Caine was already crossing back to the portal. The raven fluttered off his shoulder and flew out the open window. Caine leapt into the water.
I shivered as Baleros’s voice whispered in the darkest depths of my skull. Neutralize all threats as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Ruadan might be a demigod, but he’d let down his guard around me. He didn’t see me as a threat, but that didn’t mean he cared about me or anything ridiculous like that. It just meant he’d gotten sloppy while he waited to execute me. And tonight, while he slept in his comfortable bed, I had a threat to neutralize.
I still had half a bottle of whiskey left, and now was as good a time as any to drink it. I finally pulled on some clothes, and I sat by the cold, stone table. Night had begun to fall, and Ruadan hadn’t yet returned.
I clasped the lumen crystal around my throat, and shadow magic shot through my blood. But now—after everything I’d endured with the reaping dagger—I could handle it easily.
My stomach rumbled, and I rifled through my bag for one of my lollipops. Somewhere, beneath the duct tape, flashlights, and bandages, I found an old protein bar, only partially eaten. I delved into it, ignoring its staleness.
I had to keep my energy up for tonight. You couldn’t assassinate a demigod on an empty stomach. Not one of Baleros’s laws, but it seemed like a good rule to live by.
I scanned the wall, my gaze roaming over Ruadan’s collection of blades. I tried to push out the rising cold in my chest, that corrosive sense of emptiness. The voice in my head telling me not to do it.
Crush your enemies completely.
I needed two blades—one silver, to cut the tracking mark off the back of my neck. The other, iron, to drive into Ruadan’s body when he slept. Either could be used to cut the World Key off him.
I hugged myself, shivering. Why did it feel as if the void hadn’t completely left me?
A knock on the door pulled me out of my dark thoughts, and I whirled. I wasn’t ready to face Ruadan yet, or look him in the eyes. My body tense, I crossed to the door and pulled it open.
Melusine stood beside Aengus. She was gripping a paper bag.
I exhaled a shaky breath as I looked at her. “Good. You’re alive. So you have that advantage over two of our fellow novices.”
Aengus leaned against the door frame. “What are you?”
I crossed my arms. “Alive. That’s all that matters.”
“What in the seven hells happened in there?” he asked. “Why did the others attack you? We were watching it all through a scrying mirror, but it was hard to see anything through the darkness.”
Melusine tapped her fingernails on the doorframe. “He’s been interrogating me, but I didn’t see anything. I was too busy reaping.”
My fingers clenched into fists. I was in here trying to plan a murder, and I didn’t want to rehash our giant novice fuck-up. “Maddan and the others couldn’t get into the club at first,” I said. “They’d thought it would be an easy trial for them, that the ladies would be all hepped up on incubus magic and unable to think clearly. When they finally got inside and found that the girls were embarrassing them, they wanted to teach me a lesson. They were pissed I’d killed the king in our last trial, and they seemed to think I have some shady past—which, surprise, I do. After all, I’m just a gutter fae. But I know a knob-end when I see one, and the truth is, Maddan is no better than the bar-brawling demons who flip over tables every time they think they’ve been slighted by a chick. Rage rules their minds. Turned out, they were the ones who couldn’t think clearly.”
Baleros’s fifth law of power: Don’t let your emotions govern your decisions.
“But they’re dead now,” I went on. “All except Maddan.”
“Idiots,” spat Aengus.
Melusine thrust the paper bag at me. “You missed dinner. I brought you a steak pie.”
I fought the urge to hug her. I didn’t want to alert them that I might be on my way out of here soon. Instead, I just smiled. “Thanks, Melusine.”
“See you at the trial tomorrow.”
I nodded. I hadn’t even known there was a trial tomorrow, but it wasn’t like I needed to prepare. I’d be long gone by the time the sun rose—with Ruadan�
�s blood on my hands.
Chapter 28
I lay curled up on the stone floor by Ruadan’s bed, pretending to sleep. No blanket. No pillows.
I felt ice-cold, inside and out.
It must have been around midnight by the time he returned.
When he snatched the blanket off his bed to cover me with it, my breath caught in my chest. For just a brief moment, warmth sparked in my chest, my glacial resolve cracking….
Then, I extinguished it again. Like everyone said. I was ruthless. And the blanket was just another gods-damned butterscotch sweet.
I wasn’t going to let my emotions rule me. I watched through a slit in my eyes as Ruadan pulled off his shirt. I swallowed hard, my gaze roaming over his perfect body. I practically sighed. What a waste of a beautiful man. I wished it could have been different. I wished I’d gotten to hear him speak, to learn his secrets….
Kill, or be killed.
I watched as he crawled into bed, my body seeming to grow colder as I contemplated what was coming next. For what seemed like ages, Ruadan lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. His muscles looked tense, just as he had when I’d shared a bed with him.
At last, his eyes closed. I waited until his chest slowly rose and fell. The dark pulsing of shadows that always surrounded him began to ebb, as if they, too, were falling asleep.
Silently, I reached underneath my body, where I’d hidden two blades. I had to act quickly. Every extra second was another second he could wake up and discover me.
I rose, my chest aching with a yawning emptiness.
This was it. This was who I was. A ruthless killer, but a survivor. Baleros might have been the worst person I’d ever met, but he’d taught me how to stay alive.
The lumen crystal glowed over my sternum, and I shadow-jumped. I landed on top of Ruadan, my arm raised, gripping the knife—
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