I was beginning to really get into this “favored by the Old Gods” situation.
“There is only one spot,” said Melusine. “If you win every trial, what does that mean for us?”
Maddan dusted off his expensive top. “It will never happen. Grand Master Savus would never allow a thieving, rule-breaking, criminal gutter whore to become a Shadow Fae.” He raised his hand, and that bright red magic flickered between his fingertips. “Savus will keep you in a filthy cage until it’s time to bring down the axe on your neck, or exalt you in the Institute. But before he does, I want to find out what this animal really is. I want to be the one to interrogate you.”
He stepped closer, and my stomach tightened at the sight of the red magic. That stuff had really hurt. Still, I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing fear on my face, so I schooled my features to calm.
I crossed my arms. “Is it just me, or are you a little creepy about your obsession with me?”
A dark smile curled his lips. “Should I visit you in your hole again? I did so enjoy seeing you crouching in filth, at my feet. It’s the way it should be.” He took a step closer. “I liked hearing you moan when I hurled my bone-ripping magic at you…almost as much as I liked hearing you moan when I hit you with the lust magic. What would happen if I used both at once? It would be fun to find out.”
Violet magic pulsed between the fingers on his other hand.
“Stop it, Maddan,” said Melusine. Green magic glowed from her fingertips. “I know seventeen types of attack spells. Fire magic, disease spells, pestilence spells, which are totally different…”
I gritted my teeth, tuning her out as she listed several types of disease. I glared at Maddan, who toyed with the glowing magic at his fingertips.
Ruadan had promised me the Grand Master would have my head if I killed him. And if I tried to escape, he’d send every Shadow Fae in the world after me. So what was I supposed to do? Just allow him to torture me?
I narrowed my eyes, mentally calculating the best ways to hurt him. Slam his head into the table, then into my knee. I’d kick him in the chest; he’d fall back. Then, I’d take my stake—
Maddan hurled his magic at me—both red and violet at the same time.
Magic slammed into me, and I felt as if my body were exploding. Pain shot through my limbs—but strangely enough, it felt pleasurable at the same time. Waves of ecstasy shot through my muscles. A strange, euphoric agony surged, until my entire body was trembling. I dropped my stake.
I was starting to get the feeling that Savus was keeping me in the Institute not because of the Old Gods, but simply because he had a sick desire to torment me.
When I lifted my eyes, I had the satisfaction of watching Melusine hurl her green magic at Maddan.
Before my very eyes, I stared as lesions began to open on his skin.
“Syphilis,” Melusine declared with pride. “Brought to Europe in the fifteenth century by Columbus. Symptoms include: skin lesions, fever, hair loss, rotting skin…”
Maddan’s screams drowned out the rest of her description.
Pain and euphoria still pulsed through me, racking my body. I had a hard time focusing on Maddan’s torment.
The intense wave of dark magic over my skin told me that Ruadan was nearby.
“Novices.” His voice was glacial. “We are done here.”
He prowled under the flickering neon lights of the bar. His footfalls crunched over shattered glass, and his shadow magic snaked around him like ink through water. I didn’t know when I’d get the chance, but I had to tell him about Baleros. I just couldn’t do it in front of anyone else. Maybe—just maybe—Baleros was alive. And perhaps someone from the Institute had tipped him off about my location. My money was on Maddan, of course, but who the hells knew?
Ruadan was right. I couldn’t trust anyone.
As the magic pulsed through my body, painful and sensual at the same time, I glanced at Ruadan.
I couldn’t trust him either. But I was fairly certain he wanted Baleros to stay dead as much as I did.
Chapter 42
In Savus’s throne room, I stood between Maddan and Melusine. With his silver arm, Savus gripped a skull-topped scepter.
My mind roiled with panicked thoughts about Baleros.
He’s coming for you. He burns for you.
Ruadan stood behind us, his dark magic whispering over my body.
I cast a quick look at Maddan. Regrettably, the Institute’s healers had already fixed his little syphilis issue. The lesions and rotting nose had already cleared up.
I had not been offered the benefit of healers, and no one here seemed to care if my body still burned from Maddan’s magic. Half lust, half pain, and all distracting.
I felt acutely aware of Ruadan’s presence just behind me, and some insane impulse had me wanting to back up into his body and press myself against him.
For one thing, the lust magic was still swooping through my core, heating my body. For another, I instinctively knew that Ruadan could heal the remnants of the pain eating at my bones and muscles. But I held my ground, and I clenched my fists to avoid letting Maddan catch on to how much he’d screwed with me.
I sucked in a deep breath.
He burns for you. What did it all mean?
On the throne before us, Savus’s body glowed with pale, silver light.
“I asked you to kill within the shadows,” he began, “and once again you failed. You slaughtered every vampire, true, but you terrified the humans at the same time. What is the explanation for this?”
From behind, Ruadan stepped forward, and I felt the power of his magic snaking up my spine. It licked at my body, taking away some of my pain.
“One of your novices got sloppy,” said Ruadan, “staking a vampire in the open—just by the entrance. The other vampires saw the attack, and pandemonium erupted.”
Savus lifted his eyebrow, glaring at me. “Which novice?”
“Prince Maddan.”
I could see Savus’s jaw visibly tighten, and he narrowed his eyes. That was not the answer he wanted. “Are you sure it was the prince?”
“Yes.” A cold fury imbued that one little word. Ruadan didn’t like being questioned.
Of course, if it weren’t for the crown, he would be the alpha.
Grand Master Savus cocked his head. “Fine. Your novice did well enough, today. Bring her back to her cell.”
I stepped forward, rage simmering in my chest. “I’m not doing that.”
Savus’s eyes flashed with fury, and wavering candlelight glinted off his silver crown. “You don’t have a choice. Unless we decide that you are fit to become a knight, which is unlikely, you are our prisoner. It’s the cell or your head on the execution block.”
I looked down at my fingernails, feigning nonchalance. “You can’t execute me. It’s clear now that the Old Gods favor me. Once again, I killed more than the other novices. You keep trying to throw obstacles in my way, but it’s not working. I have no lumen stone. I had no money. I was in a cell for days, getting hit with Maddan’s bone-shattering magic. No proper food. And I still killed more vampires than they did. The Old Gods favor me, and you can’t defy them. They’re the ones who keep you on the throne.”
Maddan’s face reddened. “Perhaps they’re just keeping the gutter whore alive as a joke?”
I crossed my arms, desperate to get out of here and to speak to Ruadan. There were a few holes burned into the fabric of my dress from the would-be-assassin’s explosion. The vampire was a deranged psycho, but gods-damn, that man was committed. He’d gone out on his terms. He’d committed to his task—abduct me, or die trying.
I was going out on my own terms, too, even if it meant self-destructing.
I cocked a hip, the pleasant smile still warming my features. “If I have to stay in that prison, perhaps I’ll sit out the next trial. And the next one. I simply won’t participate. That’s not what the Old Gods want, is it?”
“What if I simply kill
you?” he hissed.
I shrugged. “Then kill me.” I was calling his bluff. If he killed me, he’d lose that precious silver crown of his, and anyone would be able to overthrow him.
His jaw tightened. “Perhaps you don’t value your life. If that’s not a deterrent, how about I torture you?”
“You’re already letting Maddan torture me in the prison. I don’t see how it could get worse. Maybe you should have kept a leash on him if you wanted better leverage.”
Savus’s low growl reverberated through my gut. “What do you want?”
“I just want what the other novices have. A lumen stone. A proper room for Ciara and me to sleep in. Oh, and some of that amazing fae food. That’s all I ask for. What every other novice has.”
Grand Master Savus cut a sharp look at Ruadan. “Bring her to the Liorcan Tower. She may sleep in one of the servants’ rooms. Her human will remain in a separate room. And please understand that our guards will be watching you at all times.” He snarled. “No lumen stone. This is as far as I’m willing to bend before I rip your body to pieces.”
Well, it was better than the devil’s arsecrack, I supposed.
Through an arched stone hallway, I walked by Ruadan’s side. Candlelight danced over the hall, gilding his perfect features. He towered over me, casting me in his shadow.
Two guards trailed behind us, prepared to listen to anything we might say.
I couldn’t quite explain the deep sense of betrayal I felt whenever I looked at him. After all—I’d betrayed him. I’d stabbed him, and run off with his precious lumen stone. But then we’d worked together to take down Baleros, and for some idiotic reason, I’d hoped it had meant something. I’d hoped for forgiveness.
A pit opened in the hollow of my stomach. He’d done a few nice things for me in the past—blankets, healing. Letting me keep the lumen stone. Allowing me to live. A pathetic part of me had desperately wanted to believe that he’d done those things because he’d cared.
Now that I’d returned to the Institute, I realized how stupid that was. He’d killed his last two novices. He’d lured me back here, only to throw me in a prison. He called me “gutter fae” instead of using my name. He’d left me to rot in the Palatial Room, healing me just enough so that I didn’t die. He wanted me punished as much as Savus did.
My jaw tightened. When did I start giving a shit if anyone called me “gutter fae”? This wasn’t like me. Something about him just got under my skin and drove me crazy.
Ruadan paused at a door, and it opened into a tiny room. This wasn’t like the other rooms I’d seen. It was more like the size of a closet, with a single bed in the center. A plain, red rug lay on the stone floor near the bed.
I had no bath in here. Still, an archway opened into a tiny bathroom, so that was a step up from sleeping in my own filth.
I crossed into the bathroom, irritated to find that it was basically just a hole in the stone, with a bowl of water next to it for handwashing.
I breathed in deeply. The bedroom itself contained only two objects—the bed and the rug.
One of the guards—a broad-shouldered man with a long, aquiline nose and golden hair—crossed into the room. It took me a moment to recognize him, but he was the same guard I’d briefly charmed the last time I was at the Institute. He was the drunk one who’d nicknamed me Viscountess von Tittington. Creepy, but oddly endearing, and at least he didn’t hate me.
Ruadan gestured at him. “Ealdun here will be your guard. He will remain in the room with you.”
I stared at them. “In the room with me?”
Ealdun lifted his chin. “Grand Master Savus’s orders.” I noticed he wasn’t calling me Viscountess von Tittington in front of Ruadan. In fact, he was making every effort not to look at me.
I shrugged. “Fine. Suit yourself. I hope you enjoy my singing, Ealdun, because I do love Taylor Swift.”
“Enjoy the gutter fae,” said Ruadan. He turned, stalking out the door in a blur of dark shadows.
I bit down hard on the urge to scream at him that he was a snobby twat. Truthfully, my heart tugged at his parting shot. I shoved my disappointment deep down inside, willing myself to forget about it.
I’d already known what he was like. I’d told myself that trusting him was a mistake—that he’d lead me to the execution block, and the betrayal would kill me before the blade ever did. I’d been right.
Chapter 43
Fatigue pulsed through my body, and the cold stone floor was calling to me. When I wasn’t sleeping in a festering dung hole, I slept on a stone floor.
I began singing—off key—as I pulled off my boots.
I took a little pleasure at the grimace on Ealdun’s face as I sang. I had nothing to change into, so I curled up on the floor, still wearing my black dress. It was covered in rainwater, vampire ash, and my own blood. I really wanted a bath.
I was on the other side of the bed from Ealdun, shielded from his view on the stone floor. Maddan’s magic still flickered through my veins—hot and cold, pleasure and pain, and the intensity overwhelmed me. I felt as if my body were clenching and unclenching, racing with sensations. My nipples chafed against the filthy fabric of my dress.
Even so, my eyes floated shut, and I tried to calm myself with thoughts of tree-dappled hills—just like the ones I’d dreamt about in the cell.
I didn’t even notice as I drifted off to sleep.
I awoke to the scent of pine, and a warm hand on my back. Violet eyes pierced the darkness. A heavy rain hammered the windows outside. For just a moment, I wanted to wrap my arms around Ruadan, to let his warmth and his magic soothe me.
Then, rage and that sense of betrayal welled in my chest as I stared up at him. Humiliatingly, tears pricked my eyes, and I fought the urge to punch him in his beautiful face.
“How did you get in here?” I whispered.
He brushed his hand over my waist, pulling the remaining bone-shattering magic from my body. I sighed with relief, closing my eyes again for a moment.
Then, I met his gaze again. “Have you come to call me a gutter fae again?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. I’d just let him know that his words had gotten to me, when I’d been trying to pretend that I didn’t care.
Baleros’s first law of power: Knowledge gives you control.
“Don’t raise your voice too high,” he whispered. He nodded at the other side of the room.
I peered over the bed, where I found Ealdun slumped on the floor, sleeping.
“What happened to him?” I asked in a whisper.
“I made him fall asleep. The same thing I’ve done to Maddan every night to keep him away from your cell.”
“You’ve been putting Maddan to sleep? Why?”
Ruadan raised his perfect eyebrows. “Because I didn’t want him to torture you anymore.”
I took a deep breath. More confusion. “Why are you here?”
“I saw the vampire immolate himself. What happened?”
I sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “On his wrist, I caught a glimpse of Baleros’s tattoo. He said, ‘he’s coming for you.’ And ‘he burns for you.’ He works for Baleros. Not to mention the fact that…” I paused, not wanting to explain the whole butterscotch thing. “Someone was screwing with me when I was in the Palatial Room, tossing me little symbols of my relationship with Baleros. Is there any chance that monster could still be alive?”
Shadows flitted through Ruadan’s eyes. “I can’t entirely explain why his body ignited after I killed him. But I did kill him. Are you sure it was Baleros’s symbol?”
I lifted the sleeve of my dress, showing him the brutal scar on the underside of my wrist. “Oh, I’d know his symbol anywhere. I had the same mark on my skin. Except, because I was a gladiator, it was a brand instead of a tattoo.”
A powerful pulse of Ruadan’s dark magic thrummed over my skin, and shadows pooled in his eyes. It seemed the topic of Baleros provoked some kind of primal rage in Ruadan.
“Wh
at happened to yours?”
“I cut it off, obviously. I didn’t want to live with his brand.”
“Why not?”
I gritted my teeth. “Why not? Are you insane? Because he’s a monster who made me think I was a monster. I didn’t want him to control me any more than he already does. I mean, any more than he did. I’ve always wanted him dead. What the hells do you think?” I willed my heartbeat to slow, realizing that I’d lost control of my emotions.
Ruadan’s icy magic slid over my skin. “You say you wanted him dead, and yet you did his bidding, and you allowed him to live in the arena.” Anger flickered in his violet eyes, and the ice had returned to his voice.
“Why do you hate him so much? Because he turned on the Shadow Fae?”
A sharp breath. “Something like that.”
I could tell by the hesitation in his response that it wasn’t the full answer. Moreover, I’d turned on the Institute of the Shadow Fae, and he hadn’t killed me.
Whatever the case, Ruadan was hiding important things from me. He trusted me no more than I trusted him.
Chapter 44
“You haven’t explained to me why you failed to kill him. I brought the darkness, like you asked.” A ripple of dark magic thrummed over my skin. “But you didn’t even try. Why?”
Knowledge gives you power over a person. How much power did I want Ruadan to have? I supposed he already knew I cared about Ciara, considering I’d insisted on bringing her here. He could already use her as leverage if he wanted.
“He took Ciara,” I said. “He was holding her in a cage, and he was going to kill her. I didn’t kill Baleros in the arena because I was there to save Ciara, and in the moment, I could only do one or the other. I didn’t have an iron weapon, and I needed answers from him. As soon as I knew where she was, I went after her.”
Silver glinted in his eyes, and his magic stroked the back of my neck. “You stabbed me to protect Ciara.”
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