What Are You Willing to Risk?

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What Are You Willing to Risk? Page 8

by P. L. Camery


  “What do you think?”

  “Yes?”

  “Hmf!”

  “Come on Mavis!” Lawrence felt his resolve disintegrate to a plea as he quickened his stride to catch up to her. “It was just a little prank, and you know Roland completely deserved it.”

  Mavis began to weave through the trees of the underground park in a halfhearted attempt to lose him, “Sure but that doesn’t give you the right to try and ruin his life!”

  “Sure it does! He deserved it! He was gonna kick my head off if I let him!”

  “And whose fault is that?” Mavis spun around and countered.

  “His!” Lawrence insisted.

  “Ugh, you’re impossible,” Mavis rolled her eyes and was about to turn away when her friend caught her arm.

  “He’s a wimp Mavis,” his tone went dark, “a complete jerk who keeps hurting you. He had it coming.”

  “And who are you to determine that?” Mavis narrowed her eyes. They were dark now, the chocolate brown transformed nearly to black, dangerous, but still stunning in a dark angel sort of way.

  “I,” he paused, as if uncertain, and lowered his voice, “I’m someone who cares about you.”

  “Sure, you do, that’s why you go make me the center of a big scene at my school. Did you ever think what your stunt was going to do for me?”

  “No,” his voice was barely above a whisper. Shit, shit, you didn’t think this through. You idiot, no wonder she hates you. You pathetic stupid…

  “So, don’t pretend you did it for me because you didn’t.”

  “Okay Mavis.”

  The girl took a deep breath and watched his posture shift, he seemed smaller, deflated somehow, “What’s wrong?”

  Lawrence stared at his feet, “It’s nothing Mavis, my mind just went off is all. I’m just trying to organize my thoughts.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking about?”

  He turned away from her, obviously grappling with some internal struggle. Mavis was about to press for an answer when Lawrence spun back around and asked, “Will you come to the lab with me?”

  Mavis subdued her rising protest and nodded, as they walked, she noted he grew tenser, nervous, with each passing step. By the time the lab door slid closed behind them he was fiddling with his fingers. Lawrence stopped in the middle of the room then turned to face her. She noticed the broken chair in the corner but decided not to comment.

  “Lawrence?” Mavis asked, watching him, “are you okay? What’s wrong?”

  Head still low, he pointed at an object on his main computer desk, “I made you a card key for the lab.”

  Mavis glanced at the card then returned her attention to her friend, “Is that what’s bothering you? You’re worried about sharing the lab? You think since I got upset at you I might abuse my access?”

  “No! No,” Lawrence snapped his head up and made vigorous hand motions, “I trust you whole heartedly- it’s something else.” He paused, and Mavis waited for him to choose his words, “Do you like me Mavis?”

  The girl knitted her brows in confusion, “Of course I like you, why…”

  “No, I’m doing a bad job of this,” Lawrence ran his fingers through his hair, “First, do you like me as a friend? Am I a good person in your opinion?”

  “Lawrence what are you…”

  “Just please,” his eyes fixed on her, desperate and nervous, “answer the question first.”

  “Of course I like you,” she repeated.

  He looked away from her, “I don’t like me. I think I’m a failure; I try to help the people I care about and always end up messing things up. But I like you Mavis, I care about you a lot and I want to take care of you, I want to be able to do anything for you, to make miracles happen if you want them. And though I don’t deserve it, I want you to always see the best in me. I could not bear it if you were to hate me.”

  “I could never hate you,” Mavis responded, her tone softer than before, “You’re my friend.”

  He nodded then swallowed. “Now, I get I acted out of line today. That you have every right to be mad at me because I didn’t think things through and I made the situation worse than before. But I need you to know it came from a good place. That I acted out because I wanted to defend you, because I like you Mavis. And I need to know if maybe there’s a chance you could like me, not as a friend,” he paused collecting himself, “or a best friend even, I mean could you like me romantically?”

  “Oh,” Mavis felt a wave of conflicting emotions, a sudden excitement subdued by caution.

  The boy sighed then spoke in a gush, “I understand if you don’t feel the same. It’s not even fair of me to say anything. I mean I know you like Roland, even though he doesn’t deserve it, and I can get kicked out of my upper cast program for falling in love but…”

  “Hold up, slow down,” she grabbed him by the shoulders to get his attention and he looked up, mouth still open mid-sentence, and watched her. Mavis felt her heart pound at the intensity of his gaze, but she slowly released him and tried to keep her tone calm, “Number one, I’m over Roland, just plain done with him. Second, have you? Fallen in love I mean.”

  Lawrence averted his gaze, clearly uncomfortable. Taking a breath, Mavis moved onto the last topic, “And what’s this about getting kicked out of a program?”

  Lawrence relaxed slightly, shifting into dictation mode, “I’m not allowed to have serious relationships, all emotional connections are off limits. It’s part of being First Honors rank in the Hassdrin Academy for the Upper Cast. I’m not just upper cast; I’m part of the leaders in training program in Hassdrin. The idea from the rebel standpoint is I’m supposed to go through the ranks in the government, so I can influence them or at least make an opening for change. But relationships are off limits in this program because they make an official too vulnerable. I think it’s modeled from some ancient religious customs. Your loyalty should be to the people you serve and rule, and to the Guardian above all else, not to a spouse or a child or anything. Therefore…”

  “Even if you wanted to,” Mavis concluded, “you couldn’t be with me.”

  “But I mean technically I can’t be a rebel either,” Lawrence reasoned, “and if I could keep that a secret a relationship wouldn’t be a big leap. I’d be more worried about the council here giving me crap about being irresponsible.” He frowned, “Some of the rebel council members don’t like me very much; it’s a delicate situation.”

  “Lawrence,” Mavis’s tone was sharp, forcing him to make eye contact, “I need you to be serious right now. With this new information that stunt you pulled with Roland was and even stupider move than I already thought,” she scowled at his dismissive wave, “and what you’re proposing, it’s a big risk, you probably shouldn’t…”

  “But Mavis,” he took her hand and held it tight between his own, “I’ve thought this over already. I want this. I want to be with you.”

  Mavis felt her heart creep up her throat but managed to swallow it back down, “But I don’t want you to mess up everything over me, it’s not worth it.”

  “But I think you are,” he insisted. Tentative at first, he lifted his one hand and drew two fingers down her cheek, studying her. Mavis had to focus on breathing as her heart raced acutely aware of his proximity. He swallowed once then released her hand and slid his arm around her waist, never removing his eyes from hers. “May I kiss you?” It took a moment for the words to register, but once they did Mavis was struck by the notion that they were both ridiculous and charming. Smiling, she slid her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his.

  He tightened his arm around her and slid his other hand behind her head. She was surprised by the intensity, by the fact that he was capable of such possessive contact. As he kissed her his hands trailed their way down her sides as if curious, exploring, until they settled on her hips. He held her close as his lips brushed up her cheek to her ear and he whispered, “Is this okay?�
� sending chills down her spine.

  She nodded then ran her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, guiding his hands under her shirt, Mavis looked up at him, “Is this okay?”

  He responded by kissing her neck and massaging his fingers up her spine then spreading one hand between her shoulder blades and the other around her waist. He turned her so she was pressed up against the nearest lab table. Her heart raced with the sudden weight of him nearly on top of her, “Is this okay?” Mavis pressed on his chest and he leaned back willingly, thinking she’d had enough. Then, almost in slow motion, she hooked one leg around his and forced him to the floor.

  “Is this okay?” she smiled sweetly from on top of him stroking his face.

  Lawrence rolled so that their positions were reversed and grinned sheepishly, “Now it is.” Mavis rolled her eyes and pulled him down setting a slower pace as their lips caressed one another’s. When the parted he pressed his forehead to hers, “I love you Mavis Cruz.”

  The girl smiled, “Why don’t you ask me then?”

  “Ask you what?”

  “To be yours.”

  He pushed up and stared at her, green eyes bright and complemented by an enormous smile, “Will you marry me?”

  Mavis laughed, “How about I just be your girlfriend for right now?”

  Chapter 3: Mental Cases

  Nearly three months since the last major operation, it was time for action. Mavis took a deep breath of the crisp night air and exhaled slowly as she sprinted up the lawn of Manor 67, abode of the aged Kenneth Seeks commander of the Imperial Police.

  Secrecy, secrecy, secrecy, why must everything in my life be a secret! My skills, my views, my Lawrence…

  Secrecy above ground she had expected. Regardless of his Upper Cast program, Lawrence was a cast above her and any relationship would have drawn attention. What she had not counted on, was exercising discretion in Democris, or rather, her love’s capacity for making enemies out of his allies, namely the good admiral of Marrer County. Perry, Lawrence had explained, had a deeply embedded hatred for him and would have him executed if that were possible. Reckless affection was just the excuse Perry would need to have Lawrence expelled from the council. Since Democris was hardly over a few hundred strong- and therefore highly susceptible to small town syndrome and its most prominent symptom, gossip- it was best that as few people knew of their relationship as possible, which amounted to Cal and Destiny. It was absolutely infuriating, insufferable to be a refugee amongst a rebel society!

  “Okay, the surveillance system shows there are no security guards around the southern entrance.”

  For a moment her troubles melted as his voice came from her earpiece. Mentally chiding her reaction, she composed herself and responded to Lawrence, “Remind me again why the cameras are not picking me up?”

  “They are,” it was Cal’s voice this time, “but we are looping footage from three weeks ago back into their data base. So, it doesn’t matter.”

  “And won’t they notice if their guards’ reports are different from their recordings?” Mavis pressed.

  “As long as nothing unusual happens,” Cal responded, “They will have no reason to compare.”

  The girl smiled, “No pressure at all.”

  When she arrived at the sliding door, Mavis pulled a towel from the pouch at the hip of her black suit and wiped the dew from her boots, “I’m ready when you boys are.”

  “Okay,” Cal said, “door opening…”

  “Wait!” Lawrence interrupted. “Just please, Mavis. Don’t do anything reckless or brave or unnecessarily stupid.”

  “No promises.”

  “I mean it!” the boy snapped, “It’s pissing me off that I’m not out there with you. I need you to reassure me you’ll be safe.”

  There was a moment of silence before she responded, “I- I’ll do my best.”

  She heard Lawrence take a deep breath over her earpiece, “You’d better. Door opening now.”

  There was a faint whoosh and Mavis entered the dim artificial light of the manor.

  “Turn left and head down the hall until you’ve reached the fourth cross section,” Cal commanded, “Then make another left.”

  “I still don’t understand why you have to be on this assignment.”

  “You really shouldn’t complain Lawrence,” Mavis whispered as she walked, “You’re the one who chose to love a rebel.”

  “And your council is what came up with this,” Cal added.

  “Our council,” Lawrence corrected, “and I know, I know, it’s just…”

  “You know it has to be done by someone,” Mavis cut in calmly.

  “But why does it have to be you? And with no backup?” Lawrence huffed.

  “Left here and right on the first door,” Cal said, “That room leads to a parallel corridor. Once you’re on the other side, turn left and go straight for a while. And don’t forget that most of the doors inside the manor are the old-fashioned knob and push; try to avoid creaking hinges and the click when you close the door.”

  “But I do have backup,” Mavis countered, smiling as she felt her way through the pitch-black room, “I have my technical crew back home. And besides…” Her smile faded as the events from the previous month came back to her.

  It began with a squeaky voice over the school intercom calling “Mavis Cruz” into the Dean’s office. It had taken all her will power to keep from shaking as she knocked on the administrator’s door.

  As Mavis took a seat, the fat grey haired man behind the desk began, “I need to speak to you about your midterm grades.”

  Mavis blinked, “Have I done that bad?”

  “In a way,” the Dean responded as he pulled out a tablet and tapped in a few key strokes, “you see, in your history class, the average for all students, including those of the upper cast, was an eighty-seven, where as you scored a ninety-six,” he glanced up to give her a meaningful look, “in Math 5A, you had an eighty-eight when the class average was a seventy-one; in chemistry an eighty with the class average of a seventy-five; and in English, a ninety-four with an average of eighty two.” He placed the tablet in a desk drawer and folded his hands before him, “As you stand now, you are ranging from an A to an A minus in all of your classes.”

  Mavis tilted her head, choosing to play innocent, “Isn’t that a good thing?”

  The Dean stiffened, “Were you an upper cast member I, would say yes. But being of the middle cast this is simply unacceptable.”

  “But…”

  “And you are smart enough to understand that,” he straightened in his chair, glaring at her, “We can’t have middle cast performing above upper cast. It would turn the whole system around,” as he spoke, he used violent hand gestures. “Why, what if you saw your scores and decided you were qualified to become a doctor or a researcher or, Guardian forbid, a leader! No, no, no. Middle cast must do middle cast jobs. And if you set an example for higher achievement, what’s to stop your peers from following your example? Why, it could lead to a full scaled rebellion!”

  Mavis’s hands clenched into fists on her lap. Like you don’t already have one sitting right in front of you. When she spoke, her voice shook with what she hoped would be interpreted as fear, “What should I do?”

  “Come now,” the Dean rolled his eyes, “I thought you were an intelligent young lady. You mush simply work to lower your grades.” She could only stare at him blankly. “It does not have to be down to failing level, on the contrary, you must make it seem like you are doing your best and can only achieve low to mid B’s.” When she still said nothing, he leaned closer and said, “I am only telling you this for your own good Miss Cruz, unless of course, you wish to be openly classified as a traitor.”

  “No sir.”

  “Very good then. If you fully understand, you may leave.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Mavis rose from her seat and approached the door.

  “You may have gotten away with
such transgressions in high school Miss Cruz, but in my university, I will not stand for people aspiring to do better than they are supposed to.”

  At that Mavis stopped an inch from her exit. She could feel herself stiffen as the subterranean anger boiled up and she had the sudden vision of spinning around and strangling the old man. It had taken all of her will power to muster up the words, “Yes sir,” and exit the room.

  She could feel that fury again, and took a breath, Now I get to do something about it. Here and now I have the power to make a difference.

  “…I would have volunteered,” she finished telling her friends.

  “I know but still - I wish I were there,” Lawrence said.

  Finally finding the doorway opposite the dark room, Mavis chuckled and responded, “Then this would be too much fun, love.” She made a left turn and took the hall at a silent jog.

  “Just continue here until we tell you differently,” Cal said, “You have a ways to go.”

  “No wait!” Mavis halted at the panic in Lawrence’s voice, “Go the through the door to your right and stay there.”

  As she followed orders Cal said, “Dude, that guard was nowhere near her.”

  “But better safe than sorry,” Lawrence snapped, “What if he had heard her and gone towards her!”

  “Calm down, calm down,” Cal sounded defensive, “I’m just trying to get her out of there as quickly as possible.”

  “And I’m trying to keep her safe. If there’s a confrontation we can’t help her!”

  “Shh, shh,” Mavis chided, “I don’t need you two bickering in my ear. Is it safe to come out yet?”

  “No,” Lawrence said at the same time as Cal’s, “Yes.” A few seconds passed before Lawrence conceded, “Fine, yes. You should be okay.”

  Mavis exhaled and asked, “So I come out and turn right?”

  “Yes,” the boys said in unison.

  Mavis nodded and continued her progression. After a few minutes Cal reported, “Okay at the next intersection you will make a right. You are almost there. Good now go into the third door over.”

 

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