by Jamie Mackay
***
Thursday morning Tatum's perspective on talking with Milligan had completely changed. She knew she needed her friend.
He passed her a steaming cup of 'Milligan's best' and she let it all out. First they talked about Michael, his illness, his upcoming surgery and Sarah's message. Then, against her better judgment, she told Milligan about her decision with Jake.
"I didn't want to ask," was all her benevolent friend said when she described her observation at the grocery store, followed by the subsequent phone call.
Tatum looked at her watch; she was almost late for work.
"Oh geez, I gotta run," she explained to Milligan as she grabbed her worn briefcase and put her cup on the table.
"Not yet," he commanded.
Milligan stood up and wrapped his arms around Tatum in the protective way only a father can. The expression of support was too much for Tatum, she started to cry. Milligan hugged her tighter knowing first-hand the pain of ill family members.
"If you need me, I'm here," was all he said.
.
Thursday was report day. Tatum worked diligently on her latest case files, making certain that she reviewed each of the patient histories and current treatment in detail. She studied each of the records in such detail that she was confused by her own behavior - she didn't even know what she was looking for.
Perhaps I should quit googling. It's making me paranoid, she thought silently.
Tatum worked on the reports throughout the morning and had nearly completed her pile when she decided it was time for lunch. Having spent the full lunch hour with James for the first three days of the week, she decided she was ready to have lunch with someone who talked back. But before finding a two-way conversation, she kept her promise to herself and visited Unit Three early in her lunch hour; never again would she miss their meeting without letting James know.
Larry smiled at Tatum as she entered, having developed a bit of a crush on U3's daily visitor.
"He's over in the usual spot," said Larry. "I assume you're staying for a bit. Can I get you a coffee or something?"
"Not today, thanks though," responded Tatum. "I'm gonna go find Anne and spend some time outside for once."
Tatum thought Larry seemed a disappointed that she planned to leave. "I'll be here for the full time tomorrow though," she explained.
He brightened up a bit.
.
"Hi James. How are you today?" she asked her very quiet friend. "I'm doing better than I have been. Talked with Milligan this morning and he's always wonderful. Just like you. I wanted to thank you for listening to me all the time. I hope sometime I can help you the way you help me." Silence. "I'm not going to stay long today, I need to get outside, get some fresh air. Hopefully it will perk me up a bit. So I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Bye James."
Tatum left James feeling a tad guilty about her short visit, but knowing that it would be okay; she had let him know. She walked slowly through the wide corridors until she reached the entrance to the cafeteria.
As she'd hoped, she could see Anne in the line-up talking to everyone all at the same time.
"Anne!" Tatum called out across the dining hall.
"Hi Hun!" she called back, more loudly and more boisterously than Tatum had even expected.
Tatum walked toward her happy comrade, "Have you got a lunch partner today?"
"Lots of potential victims, but no firm prey at the moment," she said with a laugh. "Why? You taking an actual lunch break today?"
Tatum guessed by Anne's comment that she had developed a bit of a reputation for being a bit unsociable over lunch. I guess that's deserved, she thought.
"Yeah, thought I'd like to head outside today. It's a bit cooler and I could use some fresh air."
Tatum looked around the cafeteria at the lack of windows and outside access.
"Me too. Let's go!" Anne responded with her typically overly energetic style.
.
Outside in the courtyard, Tatum took a deep breath and appreciated the refreshing breeze. It was milder than some of the intense winds she'd experienced in Wainwright, just enough to be airy and cool, while still keeping her hair from blowing into her mouth as she ate.
"So," Anne started the conversation, "what's the newest news on you and the hunk?"
"No news," responded Tatum. "We're actually not seeing each other anymore."
"What? Did he change his mind about being ready for someone other than Julia?" asked Anne.
"Actually, it was me. I just didn't think I was a good fit for his situation. I plan to go home after I'm done my internship. He didn't need to get all messed up with someone who's just gonna leave."
"I'm sorry to hear that Tatum. But, I guess you need to do what you think is right."
Tatum thought that, by Anne's tone, she understood that Anne thought she had gotten it wrong.
"You never know. You might change your mind," she said hopefully.
"Yeah, maybe," Tatum replied, "but I don't think so."
Wanting to change the topic, Tatum asked Anne, "Hey, maybe you could give me some advice. My brother's not doing too good; its cancer. He's going to need surgery during the first week of September. Who would I talk to about taking a few days off, either before or after the long weekend?"
"Hmm... got any idea who your 'one-up' is officially?" asked Anne.
Tatum smiled, "I was hoping you'd know that."
"Well, I'm gonna say Tim's probably the best place to start. He's so distracted; he'll probably just agree and not even remember you talked to him about it." Anne laughed.
"Let's hope!" said Tatum sharing in her friend's joke.
.
Thursday afternoon Tatum had two tasks she was determined to complete. Her first task would be to follow Sarah's advice and figure out a way to get home early in September. The second would be to spend more time with her door closed and her file drawers open. First things first, Tatum drafted an email to Tim.
"Hi Tim, I don't know if you are the one I should be asking, but I thought I would start with you and perhaps if you aren't the right person, you could lead me to whoever is. My brother, Michael, was recently diagnosed with brain cancer and he will likely be having surgery early in September. I would really like to go home and visit him prior to his surgery. I thought the easiest way to make a trip without requiring too much time off might be to take a day before and after the September long weekend. Do you think that it might be possible for me to get these couple days off? Thanks, Tatum."
Tatum read and re-read her email to make sure it sounded polite and respectful; she certainly wanted her supervisor in a good mood when he was considering her request. Pleased with the result, Tatum clicked 'send'.
Now, on to task two, she thought as she started rummaging through the third drawer of her desk. She easily recovered the file cabinet keys from under the third drawer's floor where she had found them earlier, and then she worked her way over to the third cabinet. Looking back to ensure her office door was firmly latched, she pulled the four dated files from the fourth drawer. Tatum reviewed each file quickly once again; mostly she saw dates, clinical notes, and family notes, generally typical case file materials.
After having quickly reviewed the files for a refresher, Tatum decided she would go back again and re-read the files closely, for detail, as she had done with the clinical histories she had used earlier that day for her reports. On several spots throughout each of the files, things had been blacked out. Reading into the places where the black markings started, she assumed that the markings were mainly intended to cover client names and the identities of others mentioned in the notes. Looks pretty typical, she thought as she evaluated the black spots and other markings. Yup, I think I am getting paranoid.
Tatum continued to read the files in detail. The first client had been a female Unit Three resident sometime around the mid 1960s. The second was from the same period, but the patient had lived on Unit Five, placed in a forensic psychiatric unit aft
er he was found guilty of killing a family member in a fit of psychosis. He had been convinced his brother was possessed by evil spirits that could only be extracted by death of the body they had inherited. After the murder, he became convinced the spirits had continued to live through him. The third was more recent, sometime in the 1980s. The patient was a female from U4 who had made several suicide attempts, all of which had obviously been unsuccessful. She had been placed on 24hr suicide watch. Finally, Tatum came to the most recent file. The file on which Julia had been the social worker, and had subsequently signed off as the responsible clinician on the file page. Tatum didn't see anything unusual in the case notes that would have made Julia save this particular file. This case report was a bit more detailed than the others; Tatum knew requirements for record-keeping had become more substantial over the last several decades. Julia's notes described a young man with a history of sexual abuse. Sounded to Tatum like it may have been at the hands of his step-father, but the identity of the perpetrator had been blacked out. The patient had, as a result of his experience, developed serious issues with depression, anxiety, and anger, and, subsequently, had been involved in several assault incidents, none of which had led to formal charges. Eventually, he was placed on Unit Four with the intent to keep both him and others safe until he stabilized. Tatum again read and re-read the material on the page in front of her. She could not think of any reason that Julia would have held onto these particular files individually, nor could she see any links among the cases described. She carefully placed the files back in the filing cabinet and returned the keys to their concealed location.
It would take some time, but she was determined to find out why Julia Mackinley had been so determined to hold onto and hide this group of apparently unrelated patient files.
.
After Tatum returned the files to their original location, she returned to the present and suddenly realized she may have an answer from Tim waiting on her email. Quickly she logged back into her computer, anxious to see whether she would be able to visit Michael before his surgery.
"Hi Tatum, I am so very sorry to hear about your brother! Of course you can have some time to go see him before his surgery. Family comes first! Take as much time as you need, and I will figure out the details with the powers that be. Just send me an official email outlining the specific days you need, and I'll take care of the rest. My thoughts are with you! Tim."
Tatum didn't waste any time.
"Thanks so much, Tim. I really appreciate your willingness to give me this time. I was hoping to get the Thursday and Friday before the long weekend and the Tuesday following. That way, I only miss one day of clinical time because I can take my reports with me to work on while I travel. I will send you a formal email right away. Thanks so much! Tatum."
Wanting to take immediate advantage of her permission, she drafted the formal email right away as well.
"Dear Dr. Glaser, I am writing to request Sept 4th, 5th and 9th as days off for family-related leave. My brother requires surgery for brain cancer and I will be travelling home to see him. I will take my reports with me to complete off-site, but I will need coverage for my clinical time. Thank you for your consideration, Tatum O'Neill."
Tatum sent the email and then only had to wait about three minutes for the response.
"I approve. Tim Glaser."
Tatum walked home that afternoon a little lighter on her feet. She was going home to see her family. She would see Michael before it got too bad.
.
That evening Tatum took care of arrangements. She texted Sarah.
"See I listened for once ;-). I'll be there on Sept 4th. Keep the kids off candy till then. I want full permission to load them up while I'm there. Love you!"
She phoned her mom.
"Hi Mom," started Tatum.
"Hi Tatey, how are you?"
"I'm better now. I got permission for some days off; I'll be home on the September 4th."
"Oh Tate, I told you not to come yet."
"I know Mom, but I want to see him before it gets too bad. So I'm coming now. Do you think you can take some time off to come and pick me up at the airport?"
"We'll all be there, you know that."
Tatum did know that. Her family always welcomed each other home in droves. She was certain even Sarah, Peter and the kids would be there.
"Have you bought your ticket yet?" Sophia asked.
"Not yet, that's my next task after this call." "Well don't. Your dad and I will get it. I can't believe you're coming home baby. I miss you so much."
"I miss you too mom, but I'll see you soon okay?"
"I can't wait."
"Bye mom."
"Bye honey."
.
Tatum hung up the phone and then sat staring for a moment at her computer screen. She had planned to spend some time researching best prices and buying a plane ticket, but now that would be taken care of for her. She picked up her cell phone and texted some school friends that she thought she might like to meet up with for coffee while in Chicago. Then she flipped through her previous texts.
"I love you. I miss you. I'll wait," she read one more time.
Instead of continuing past the message to her other notes from home as she had done each time she'd read the text before, Tatum clicked on Niko's message so that a reply box opened. She had no idea why she'd opened the box, or what she planned to text into her response.
"I miss you too. I'll be home on September long weekend. Do you want to get together?" Tatum clicked send before she had time to reconsider.
Niko was a good man; he deserved for her to re-consider her decision. Besides, she planned to go home for good at some point It might be nice to have something to go home to, she thought.