by Jamie Mackay
Chapter 14
August drew to a close, and Tatum was happy to hear talk that the heat was nearly done. She and Sam had made several post-yoga trips to Johnny's for breakfast and Tatum was learning that the weather network had nothing on the Saskatchewan farmer. Weather talk at Johnny's was like gossip at a beauty salon, never new, but never-ending.
September had begun and the talk at Johnny's was that it was going to be a cooler month with lots of wind. Tatum could have cared less about the weather. In a few days, she'd be going home.
Trying to make sure everything was in order before she left; Tatum planned to work a longer day on Wednesday. Assessment in the morning as usual and then off to see James. She'd planned her day so that she could spend the entire lunch hour with him. Tatum knew it would be several days until she returned; she'd prepared him, but she just wanted to be sure.
"Hi James. It's me," she said as she pulled up her chair. Tatum made some small talk about Michael and her visit, and explained that Sam would be driving her to Redman the following day to catch her plane.
When her hour was almost up, Tatum looked at James and said, "I'm going to leave now James, I have to get back to work. I will see you next Tuesday though, okay? Bye Buddy."
Tatum got up from her usual chair and started to walk away. She stopped in her tracks. From behind her she heard a muffled and unclear, but unmistakable, "Bye."
.
Sam picked Tatum up at four am for her six am flight. They stopped to grab coffee for their hour long drive and Tatum got an extra large, she'd hardly slept one minute. With one word, James had sent Tatum's head into a tailspin, thinking about possibilities for the future, for James' future. Most of the way they drove in silence, too tired to talk, but eventually Sam broke the quiet.
"So, are you going to see Niko while you're there?"
"Yup. Says he's gonna buy me dinner and a ball game. How about you? Any chance of getting things settled over the next bit?"
"Not sure. Sounds like court sometime maybe in September. Wanna go with me if it happens? Moral support and all that."
"You bet. Just let me know." The conversation ended.
.
Sam went into the airport with Tatum and helped her get her luggage checked and then said goodbye as Tatum cleared security. Tatum sat in the secure side finishing her coffee and waiting to board; her tiredness overridden by thoughts of returning home. Once on the plane, she pulled out her laptop and worked for a bit on outstanding clinical reports, trying to fulfill her promise to Tim that she would complete work on her trip. Eventually boredom got the better of her and a conversation with her seatmate seemed like the better option.
"So, Chicago your final destination?" she asked the female passenger sitting beside her.
"Yes, my daughter lives there. We just had a new grandson that I want to get my hands on," answered the passenger. "You?" she continued, encouraging more conversation.
"Yeah, my family is there. I'm just in Saskatchewan working on internship."
"An internship? In what?"
"I did my PhD in psychology, and now I'm supported by a fellowship to do my internship in Canada."
"Psychology? Are you in Wainwright?"
"Yeah, I guess that's a pretty safe bet when I say psychology and Saskatchewan, hey?" Tatum asked. "I work Monday to Thursday in a clinical section and spend Fridays on the Research unit."
"So you work in the Units. What's that like?" The passenger didn't wait for Tatum to answer. "I heard it was haunted. Is that true? I also heard they do awful stuff to the people that live there. Have you seen any of that?" Her questions came quickly with a meddlesome nosiness.
"I certainly have not," confirmed Tatum. "So far, everything seems pretty typical to me."
Tired from the questions and implications of her fellow traveler, Tatum eventually gave in to her lack of sleep the night before and dozed off. Her sound sleep continued until she was abruptly woken by her previous conversational partner.
"Hey doc," said the woman sitting in the seat beside her as she shook Tatum awake. "We're about to land. You need to put your seat up and your seatbelt on."
Tatum rubbed her eyes as she slowly realized she was about to see her family.
.
As they promised, when Tatum stepped off the plane her family was anxiously waiting. Sophia, as attractive and classy as ever, stood holding the hand of her lifelong love, Jerry. Sarah, who had inherited her mother's grand stature, stood beside Sophia, holding Jesse, her youngest. Peter was behind Sarah, holding Josh's hand in an attempt to prevent him from running through the arriving passengers. Finally, Tatum saw Michael, her dear Michael. He stood beside his father, but unfortunately shared few of his father's strong, handsome features. Although his coloring resembled Jerry's own complexion, Michael resembled many individuals with mental handicap. He had a solid frame, wide and heavy set. His head appeared disproportionately large, with wide set eyes and a jutting jaw. Michael stood with his feet widely spaced and his shoulders hunched, as if he preferred to hide his large frame. Tatum never noticed Michael's awkward appearance. Plus, Sophia had always insisted that extra effort be made to ensure Michael was as accepted as possible wherever he went. She kept his hair short, and always neatly combed. His clothes were chosen by his mother with care and attention equivalent to the time spent picking out clothes for herself, her husband, or any other family member. In addition to his trendy, well-kept exterior, Michael had the warmest, brightest, and most sincere smile, Tatum had ever seen.
As Tatum descended from the platform, Sarah and Michael were able to restrain Jesse and Josh so that their aunt could comfortably exit the crowd. But Sophia and Jerry had no such luck."Tatey!" yelled Michael, loud enough for passengers in other wings to hear. As he yelled, Michael ran towards Tatum, arms as wide as they could be, preparing to hug his sister. His ear-to-ear grin as he ran at Tatum was her warning that she had better get ready to receive the embrace of the large man racing towards her. Tatum stopped, put down her bags, and planted her feet. Even with ample preparation, the force of Michael's hug propelled her backwards so that she and her brother lay on the floor laughing and cuddling.
"Hi honey. I'm so glad you're home," said Sophia as she helped Tatum from the floor and gently kissed her daughter on the cheek while she squeezed her in a hug.
Tatum slowly worked her way through the rest of the family, hugging and kissing until she was satisfied that all her family members knew how much they were missed.
"Dinner at our place sound okay?" asked her mother.
"You bet!" answered Sarah and Tatum simultaneously, both anxiously looking forward to some of their mother's cooking.
.
Dinner was, as always, amazing. Sophia had outdone herself with a roast beef dinner, including Yorkshire pudding that she knew were her daughter's favorite. After having a second piece of chocolate pie for dessert, Tatum made a suggestion.
"Sarah, do you think it would be okay if Michael and I took the kids to the movie?" she asked her older sister. While she waited for Sarah's response, Tatum watched Michael out of the corner of her eye. She could see that her brother was both pleased and proud that he would get to go to the movie and that he was being asked to help watch his niece and nephew.
Tatum spent the rest of her first day at home concentrating entirely on Josh, Jesse and Michael. Later that night, she fell into bed feeling peaceful and at ease for the first time since finding out about Michael's tumor and breaking things off with Jake.
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The next morning, Sophia had planned time with her two daughters. Shopping with her girls, and buying them whatever they wanted, Sophia saw as one of the main benefits to the success of the restaurants.
"What stores should we go to? What do they wear in Wainwright, Tatum?"
Tatum thought for a moment, unsure of how to describe her new home.
"It's hot mom, dress is casual. Basically anything to keep cool. But I heard it's supposed to get cooler in September, and the winters
are supposed to be harsh." Tatum laughed at herself for parroting the coffee crew as if they were news hour meteorologists. "I think what I really need to do is start looking for some winter clothes. Stuff appropriate for me to walk to work."
"How far do you have to walk?" asked Sarah trying to be helpful.
"It's only a couple of blocks, but I found out quickly how far a couple of blocks are in fourty degrees."
"Fourty degrees?" asked Sarah, having no familiarity whatsoever with temperature in Celsius.
"Over 100. Really stinking hot," replied Tatum laughing. "And from what I've heard, we are going just as far the other way within the next couple months. And wind like here, to boot."
Tatum, Sarah and Sophia worked their way through several of the more casual shops that were familiar to them. Tatum picked out some new jeans, dress slacks and matching sweaters, all intended to keep her warm during the upcoming winter months. When it was nearing lunchtime, Sarah left to meet Peter and the kids at Josh's soccer practice. Tatum and her mother had plans to meet Jerry and Michael for lunch at the original Sophie's.
Sophie's was even better than Tatum remembered. In an effort to get to taste as much of her familiar fare as possible, Tatum, Sophia, and Michael each ordered something different, with the intent to share. Sophia had opted for grilled halibut with asparagus, something from the lighter menu; she fully intended to keep her feminine figure well into her later years. Tatum had opted for the seafood angel hair pasta. A tomato and olive oil-based linguine dish with kalamata olives, prawns and scallops.
In contrast to the very adult tastes of his mother and sister, Michael much preferred something deep-fried. Typical of Tatum's childlike sibling, he ordered fish and chips from the children's menu, so that he got ice cream when he finished his meal.
Tatum sampled each of the dishes. "Dad, the food is still awesome. Are you as busy as ever?"
"Busier," answered Jerry. "Need a job?" he asked with a grin. "I could use the help around here?"
Tatum knew that really her father could care less whether she helped in the restaurant, but he would have offered her a job doing anything in order to convince her to stay closer to home.
.
Tatum had traveled home to spend time with Michael prior to his surgery, and she intended to make good on her plan.
"Wanna play 'fish' when we get home Tatey?" he had asked Tatum in the car on the way home from lunch.
"You bet buddy," answered Tatum, "as many games as you want."
Michael wanted a lot of games. Tatum played fish until she finally realized it was time to go to meet Dr. Zubert. They had agreed to meet for a casual dinner to go over Tatum's internship so far. Tatum was looking forward to finally speaking with someone with whom she was allowed to share details about her experience.
.
"Tatum, you look amazing!" exclaimed Dr. Zubert as she grabbed Tatum in a tight motherly bear-hug. "How long are you home?"
"Just till Monday. Came home to see Michael. He has to have surgery sometime within the next couple of weeks. I wanted to see him before they get started. His doctors are unsure what will happen once they've opened him up. Apparently, cutting into the tumour might just make it mad," Tatum joked, hoping to make the seriousness of the situation a little lighter.
"I'm so sorry to hear that," said Tatum's mentor. "I hope things go okay." She paused. "How are things with you? How's the internship going? I know a little bit from your emails, but tell me everything."
"Well, where should I start? I guess with a bit of a description. The place is unbelievable. It's the most amazing building, said to be more than a mile around. Well, it's actually six separate buildings, but they are all separate units of the same institution. That's what the locals call it, 'the Units'."
"Is that right," Dr. Zubert responded, encouraging her to continue.
They had decided on coffee and desert, Tatum was still full from lunch. They paused as the waitress brought Tatum her Earl Grey and orange cranberry scone. Her teacher had decided to splurge a little and ordered a coffee to go with her chosen mocha cheesecake. Dr. Zubert nibbled on her desert. Tatum hardly touched hers, not allowing herself a break to eat; she had too much to tell.
"I work on the clinical units Monday through Wednesday, and then Thursday is report writing and meetings and stuff and Friday I'm in the Research Unit."
"What kind of patients are you seeing?"
"Lots of stuff your stories are made of," laughed Tatum, "depression, OCD, brain injury, everything actually. I'm doing mostly assessments. I think they were looking for someone to take some of the neuropsych load. Dr. Glaser, Tim, likes to offload anything he can and I think lots of his load was assessment. He's a really nice guy, but really distracted and I think he's constantly overwhelmed."
"I think I talked to him on the phone about your reference; he did seem nice," added Dr. Zubert "Any particularly interesting cases?" she continued.
"Cases, no. Situations, yes. I think I mentioned Jake in my emails, right?"
"Oh, yes, the hunk," Dr. Zubert teased.
"Did I mention his wife?" Tatum asked. "Yes, you said she'd been murdered at work. How terrible."
"Well, now I think I have her old office," said Tatum, "and I found some files."
"What kind of files?"
"Well, they just look like normal clinical files, but she went to great length to make sure they were hidden, so I don't know what to think. I've read them front to back and can't figure out what she was protecting."
"Hmm," said Tatum's mentor.
"And then there's James."
"James?"
"Yeah, did I mention him?"
"I don't think so. Oh wait, is that the Autistic boy, you said you'd been visiting?"
"Yah, well he's not a boy, I think he's twenty-something, but that's him."
"Twenty-something is still a boy to me," joked her aging advisor. "What's going on there?"
"Well, yesterday he said bye to me. I'm sure I heard it. It was mumbled and hard to make out, but I was certain it was there."
"Is he non-verbal?"
"Hasn't said a word to anyone in over twenty years," clarified Tatum.
"Well that's great then. I guess your time and attention are paying off."
"I guess so. Doesn't seem like they know what to do with Autism in Saskatchewan, basically he just gets ignored. Maybe he just needed some attention."
"I suspect you’re right."
"I'd actually really like to get something going up there for the Autistic group. Prevent more situations like James."
"That sounds like a good idea."
"But, that's not the weird part."
"There's a weird part?"
"Yah, like I said James hasn't spoken in more than twenty years."
"And?" pushed Dr. Zubert.
"And he completes stereotypies with his hands continually throughout the day; that's gone on for more than twenty-years too."
"That's not unusual," said her teacher.
"But, every time I mention the Research Unit, I think his hands stop, just for a second."
"Are you sure? Happens every time?"
"Well, twice for sure. At first, because I wasn't given access, it made me suspicious that something funny was going on in there. But, now I've spent time in U6, and it all seems fine. So I don't know what to think."
"Maybe it's just a coincidence?" said Dr. Zubert.
"Maybe. I guess all the stories about the place are making my imagination work overtime."
"Yah, there certainly are some theories aren't there? I've even heard that it's haunted."
"Well, it certainly could be. People sure seem to do a lot of dying in there."
"What do you mean?"
"Just lots of suicide by the patients. Tim told me that it happens all the time, I'll get used to it. I don't know that I will."
"Well, it certainly sounds like you're getting lots of experience, at a whole lot of things."
"That I am," responded Ta
tum.
"Keep me posted."
"Will do."
.
The next morning Tatum woke to the familiar smell of her mom's pancakes and sausages. She looked at the clock; it was nearly nine thirty. Funny how being home makes me sleepy, thought Tatum as she pulled herself out of bed and into the shower. She knew the plan for the morning was to watch her nephew play soccer, so she'd dressed down for comfort. Breakfast was as good as it smelled and Tatum splurged a little so that she could make whipped cream happy faces with Michael. He insisted. It had been their tradition since they were kids. After breakfast, Tatum, her brother and her parents piled in Jerry's car and headed to Josh's soccer game. It was a warm, humid day. So different than Wainwright's burning, dry heat, thought Tatum as she took in a deep breath of the wet air
The soccer fields were busy, filled with parents and kids desperate to find the right field, with the right team. The people and commotion were hard for Michael; he kept his head down and to the side and self soothed with a slight rocking motion as his mother slowly led him through the crowd of people and noise. Finally, they reached their destination and Tatum saw her tall sister and brother-in-law looking for them above the crowd.
"Over here!" Sarah yelled to her family. Tatum ran over and picked up her niece for a hug.
"Where's Josh," Tatum asked.
"Right there," Peter pointed to the field where there were about twenty 5 year olds, all wearing identical clothing and facing the opposite direction as they listened intently to the instructions of their coach.
"Which one?" she queried.
"The tall one," Sarah answered and Tatum could see right away how Josh towered above his teammates.
"Runs in the family, hey?" Tatum joked with her sister.
Finally, the whistle blew and the game started. Tatum could see that not only was her nephew taller than most, he was also faster. She beamed with pride. Unfortunately, one of the dads was less than impressed that his son was being left out of the play. He stormed over to the coach and started to have words. As the talk escalated, Tatum watched her brother; she could see he was becoming agitated. Suddenly, Michael started to scream and flap. He wanted the yelling to stop. His screams were intense, reminding Tatum of the air-raid type alarm she'd heard in the Units the day of the suicide. He screamed and flapped with such intensity that there was nothing Sophia could do. Jerry started to lead Michael off the field, but ended up just backing away in an effort to protect himself from the violent outburst.
Then, as quickly as it began, the tantrum just stopped. At first Tatum felt relief at knowing the public display was finally over. She looked at her brother standing still as if in a catatonic state, saw the expressions of relief on her parents' faces that the outburst had ended, and then turned back toward Michael. Tatum watched in horror as her brother dropped to the ground and seized in a fit of tremors. With a full audience, the O'Neill family circled around their youngest member, hoping his seizure would stop. Finally, the fit of convulsions ceased and Michael lay perfectly still. The initial relief at seeing Michael lay silent was quickly replaced by panic as the family realized he wasn't breathing.
The moments following seemed to Tatum like a bad nightmare. She watched in horror and disbelief as a soccer dad tried to revive her brother. Slowly a fire truck and ambulance showed up at the scene and Tatum stood back, surrounded by her equally shocked family, and watched her brother be loaded onto a stretcher and driven away.
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Sophia had ridden in the ambulance with Michael, so Tatum and Jerry drove together in silence toward the hospital with Sarah, Peter and the kids following behind. When they arrived, a nurse led them into the emergency room where Sophia sat solemnly at the bedside of her comatose son.
"How is he?" asked Michael's devastated father.
"Don't know. I haven't talked to anyone yet. They just came in and hooked him up to all of these machines and then left."
Tatum looked at her brother lying on the hospital bed; he looked so much smaller buried beneath all of the tubes and devices. Jerry sat beside his one love, put his arm around her shoulder and reassured her.
"We knew this was coming Sophie. Surgery will just come quicker now, that's all."
As usual, Tatum was amazed at her father's quiet strength as her mother softly sobbed into her hands.
.
The rest of the afternoon was like a dream. Sarah and Peter stayed for several hours and then left to take the kids home, with the promise that Sarah would return for a bit later that evening. Tatum sat in silence with her parents until finally the silence became too much to bear.
"Aren't you supposed to go out with Niko tonight honey?" asked Sophia.
"Oh shoot. I forgot," responded Tatum. "I will text him right away and let him know I can't go."
"No Tatum. Don't. There's nothing you can do here. You have your cell. We can call if anything changes."
"I'm not going, mom. Don't be silly."
"Yes, you are," said Jerry quietly, but with a firmness Tatum knew better than to question.
.
At five Jerry drove Tatum home so that she could get ready for her date with Niko. She started her preparation with a long soak in the tub, hoping that the warm water and soothing bubbles would quiet some of the shock from the day. Feeling no less dismayed, but slightly more relaxed, Tatum stepped out of the bathtub and began to plan for the evening ahead. Knowing Niko had planned for dinner followed by the casual atmosphere of the Cubs game, Tatum chose the same summer dress she had worn the day at the fair.
Just like the time she had worn the bridesmaid's dress before, Tatum was pleased with the result when she looked in the mirror. However, unlike the previous time, her face looked tired, puffy and sad. She left her hair down, but in place of the playful curls she had worn on her date with Jake, she straightened her locks into a sleek urban style. In an attempt to hide some her sorrow, she applied more makeup than usual, especially around her eyes.
The ballgame started early, and she knew Niko would arrive soon to ensure they had time for dinner. At just after six, Niko pulled into the driveway and Tatum watched out the window as he made his way up to her parents' front porch. Before he could ring the bell, Tatum opened door and fell into Niko's familiar arms.
"Tate, what's wrong?" Niko asked with sincere concern.
Finally talking to someone who did not need her to be strong, Tatum began to cry. She told Niko all about Michael and the events of the morning.
"I'm so sorry," he said as he held her and let her weep out her sadness.
Tatum appreciated the release and the familiar embrace.
"Thanks Niko," she said to the handsome man in front of her, "I actually feel a lot better."
"Do you still want to go?"
"I didn't think so. But I think I'm ready now. A night out might actually get my mind off Michael for a while. I need to go freshen up though. Can you give me a minute?"
"I told you I would wait," Niko said with a smile.
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Tatum quickly reapplied some makeup and then followed Niko out the door to his car. He held her hand as they walked, providing the reassuring support of a friendly touch. He opened the door of his blue BMW and held it patiently until his pretty companion was firmly seated and buckled.
"Is this a new car?" asked Tatum.
"Yeah, company got it for me as a bonus. I guess all those hours pay off, hey?"
Tatum thought about the country music that had played in Jake's pickup, and the strangeness she now felt being in Niko's expensive car, listening to hip hop. The familiar couple made small talk as they drove to the restaurant Niko had chosen for dinner. She told him about Wainwright and WMI, and he told her about his work and all the money he was making.
Niko had thoughtfully chosen Tatum's favorite restaurant, other than Sophie's of course. It was a small family-owned Italian place on the east side. It had a bring-your-own wine policy, and Niko had attentively thought to bring a bottle of Two Ocea
ns.
"To renewing our life and our love," he toasted before the couple shared their first sip.
Tatum just toasted, she never said a word.
.
Dinner was as delicious as she remembered and the wine had numbed some of her pain from the day. Teetering just a little as she walked, Tatum held Niko's hand as the hailed a cab to take them over to the ball park.
"I can get the car tomorrow," Niko had reassured her. He wasn't about to let the cost of a cab ride get in the way of a potential reconciliation with Tatum.
The ride was short, and Tatum was excited to see Wrigley Field come into view. Something she and Niko had always shared was their love of the Cubs.
"Want something to drink?" asked Niko as he led Tatum through the crowd toward their seats.
"You bet I do," she responded, "beer." At the moment, nothing seemed like a better idea than getting just a little bit drunker than she already was.
Niko purchased two beer and then the couple found their way to their designated area behind first base line.
"These are good seats," observed Tatum.
"It's a special occasion," responded Niko, gazing at length into his partner's pretty face.
.
With the evening sun on her face, several drinks worth of relaxation, and her favorite team on the field, Tatum felt like she should have been on the top of the world. But, instead, her thoughts drifted from Michael to her time with Milligan, watching the Blue Jays in the comfort of his company.
"Are you alright?" Niko asked, knowing Tatum more than well enough to recognize she wasn't herself.
"I'm okay," she answered, "just thinking about Michael."
She left out the part about how she was also thinking about her new life in Wainwright, Milligan... and Jake.
.
As the evening progressed, more beer meant less thinking about things outside of the present. Appreciating his companionship and ease of their well-known relationship, Tatum allowed herself to let down all of her guards.
"I've missed you," Niko whispered into her ear as he placed his arm around Tatum and kissed her softly on the head.
"I've missed you too," she replied honestly as she nuzzled in closer wanting to take full advantage of his warmth and comfort.
.
When the game finally ended, Tatum and Niko stumbled out to the front entrance to catch a cab.
"Where to now?" he asked, hopeful he could predict her response.
"Let's go to your place," she answered confirming his aspirations.
Niko paid the cabbie and then the couple stumbled up the stairs of the very well-known building that used to be Tatum's home. He held protectively around her shoulders as they staggered through the hallways, bending over to kiss her lightly whenever the opportunity arose. Finally, Niko worked the lock on the door and opened the entrance to an apartment tastefully decorated in a style Tatum had considered carefully before making her choice. In complete contrast to her old-world apartment in Wainwright, here she had intentionally chosen a sleek, contemporary style, with looks above comfort. All the apartment's lines were smooth, with glossy, lustrous finishes that now struck Tatum as cold.
Niko shut the door and grabbed Tatum's hand. He pulled her to him and then turned her to press her against the wall behind. Thrust up against her, he kissed her lightly on the lips and then slowly worked his way down her neck. As he tantalized her sensitive skin with his tongue, he slipped his hand from the small of her back slowly down. For a split second Tatum resisted, and then, emotionally spent and under the influence of the evening's refreshments, she gave in. She tilted her head back so that Niko could easily access the rest of her upper body, and then groaned as he placed his soft lips and tongue behind her ear, working his way from her neck downwards to caress the rest of her. Unable to resist any longer, Tatum placed her hand under Niko's chin and lifted his face to meet hers. She put her lips against his and then allowed them to come apart, permitting him full access to explore the inside of her mouth. He expertly worked his tongue, making Tatum even less capable of resisting what she knew was about to happen.
Spent from many hours of catching up, Tatum and Niko laid comfortably in one another's arms, feeling the security of a long time love. Tatum felt relaxed and content, as if the events of earlier in the day had been erased. She slept.
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The morning light peeked in between the small crack left in Niko's curtains. Tatum rubbed her eyes, careful not to raise her aching head too quickly. She rolled over and saw the handsome, hard-working, overly-driven man lying beside her. She kissed his cheek lightly. For the first time, she was certain about her relationship with Niko. This would be their last kiss; she didn't belong here anymore.