by Casey Morgan
“Now, now,” said Killian. “Donovan, isn’t that a bit fucking harsh?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I’m just havin’ a bit of fun.”
“Well, don’t,” said Aiden. “I really like Mila. We were hitting it off and we were talking.”
“And you were stammering,” I continued.
I knew he was self-conscious about his stutter. I felt the matter needed to be addressed if he had any hope of impressing the good witch Mila. I hated to tell him, but he had some competition – in the form of me, myself and I.
“No. I wasn’t. That’s just it,” said Aiden, sounding amazed. “I didn’t stammer once. Well, except when sh-she mentioned Peter. But other than that, I was totally relaxed with her.”
“See that? You just did it. When you mentioned Peter,” I said. “He clearly still scares the shit out of you. Not that I can blame you. He was downright evil to you back in the day. You need our help.”
“No,” insisted Aiden. “I don’t.”
“The McDonnells are a bunch of savages, Aiden,” I said. “Do you know what they did to a lad who tried to break into their farm one time? They beat him within an inch of his life and dumped him on the steps of the police station.”
“So?” said Aiden. “Who cares what they did to a thief?”
“The boy was only fourteen,” I explained. “A skinny lad like yourself. Nearly starving too death – which is why he broke onto the farm. That’s far too long to sustain a man-sized beating. Not to mention that he was just a boy – a human boy – and they cast magic spells against him and zapped him with lightning bolts they shot from their fits. They used all of their bad witchery against him, in addition to their brute force. And they did that to a young teenager. No telling what they’d do to you. What if they found out you fancy their relative, Mila?”
“What if they did?” said Aiden, defiantly.
“You might be called upon to defend her honor,” suggested Killian.
“Or worse,” I added. “They might think you’re already shagging her. Then what? Peter goes crazy because he thinks you’re bangin’ his cousin. You might think you could take him in a fight, and maybe a big elf like you could. But, woah, watch out – he’s throwing an orb in your direction. It blocks your vision. And he curses you with a spell that paralyzes you. Then, whack. On the head. Knocks you unconscious. Next thing ya know, you’re sinking in a bog.”
“That’s not going to happen,” dismissed Aiden. “Sure, they’re witches and not the good kind, either, like our Mila clearly is. But they’re not truly savages. They wouldn’t – no.”
He looked rather nervous now, like he was believing me. As well he should, because there ain’t nothing I wouldn’t put past the McDonnell clan.
I also couldn’t help but notice the way he called her ‘our’ Mila, too.
Was he thinking what I was thinking? That perhaps we had both felt the jolt of electricity passing between us and Mila?
But there was no time to dwell on it now. My brother and I had a job to do, of convincing Aiden not to go to the McDonnells alone.
This was important both for his own good – so that he didn’t go and get himself killed – and for mine, so that my latest love interest, Mila, didn’t get herself killed right when things were starting to heat up between us but before we had had time to do anything about it.
I wasn’t quite sure what my brother’s interest in this whole thing was. But he seemed to be on the same page as I was when it came to worrying about Aiden’s safety, at least.
“Tell ye what,” said Killian. “Let’s all go and we’ll have your back.”
“You just want to go and take Mila away from me,” insisted Aiden.
“Not true,” said Killian jokingly. “I want to protect you and steal Mila away from you. I felt that jolt of electricity too, you know.”
Fuck.
That explained it.
He had fallen for Mila, too.
How the hell did this electricity jolt work in three different directions?
“With all the girls you get, Killian,” began Aiden, “Why do you even bother with Mila? C’mon. Let me have one. You’ll steal her away.”
“Quite possible and probable,” said Killian. “Of course, she might like the sensitive artist type.”
“Now you’re teasing me,” frowned Aiden.
“Honestly, I’m not,” said Killian. “Some women like that. You’re sensitive if you’re an artist. Women connect to that emotion. For guys like me, some women consider us too clever by half. They drop us like a hot rock, especially if they just got out of a relationship with a guy like me.”
“What if she just got out of a relationship with a guy like me?” asked Aiden.
‘Oh, in that case, she’ll go for Donovan,” assured Killian. “Rough, rude, kind of stupid—”
“Hey,” I objected.
“But,” said Killian, gesturing to show that he had an additional point. “Fun as all hell. She might be in the mood for a randy lad like Donovan. Not that they’ll have a real relationship. He’ll just have sex with her a bunch of times until he’s sick of her. Like he always does.”
“What the hell?” I objected. “How did this become about insulting my character?”
“You have a character?” asked Killian, shocked.
“Oh, I get it,” I said, putting together the pieces. “This is about you shaking our confidence before we see her. You are putting us through the paces so we’re second guessing ourselves by the time we get to her. Then we’ll stumble over our own words and you’ll swoop right in.”
“You’re not as stupid as people think you are,” said Killian. “That was indeed the plan. But with my work undone, please, I beg of you, don’t wear that Hawaiian shirt to the date. The loud colors and patterns are bound to attract a mate. Not unlike a peacock or other type of bird.”
“Y’see Aiden, this is what he’s like,” I said. “Conniving. He’s always four moves ahead. Maybe we should leave him behind when we go with Mila to the McDonnells. Which is not a date, by the way, Killian.”
“I still didn’t invite you, Donovan,” insisted Aiden. “Look, couldn’t the two of you be mates and just go away? Let me have this one? I’ll consider it a birthday and Christmas present for this upcoming year.”
“I didn’t buy you a Christmas present last year,” I noted.
“Then you owe me,” smiled Aiden. “And this can be it.”
We laughed at that one. Aiden wasn’t much for zingers and he rarely got one in. But now and again, he’d get a good one.
It was always well-crafted, as if he had sat up all night thinking about. Ya know how some people think of a response after they get shot down? That was Aiden. But he usually came back after a while with something good. He must have been planning this one for a while.
“Look, lads,” said Killian. “Maybe we can all agree to go after this girl and may the best man win.”
“But that’ll be you,” insisted Aiden.
“Hey, don’t count me out,” I said.
“I’m counting myself out against you two,” said Aiden. “Let me date her for a while and when I screw it up, one of you can swoop in.”
“No,” I said. “I don’t want ye to break my girl’s heart.”
“You’re already calling her yer girl,” snapped Aiden.
“Can I say something real?” I said to Aiden. “I don’t know if you can handle a girl like Mila. She’s been around the block, ya know. Girl like that. American. Travels by herself to a strange land to find her relatives— I’m telling ye, that girl gets around.”
“Now you’re just making things up,” said Aiden.
“Honest and true,” I swore. “Do you even know how to make love to a beautiful, strong witch like Mila?”
“What? You’re talking about sex now. I’m talking about one date,” said Aiden.
I had rattled the poor boy. He wasn’t thinking ahead. Me? If I had a date with her, I’d have her in
bed with me within a few hours.
These American girls on vacation were easily seduced by a lyrical accent. Not that I’d think any less of her for fuckin’ me. In fact, that’s the kind of girl I like. One that’ll hop in bed with ye on the first date.
Why not? It’s fun. Best kinda first date, ya know.
“Do you really think you can handle her after your crush on Martha?” I recalled. “You had it pretty bad for that lass back in school.”
“I did,” admitted Aiden. “I almost asked her out, if you recall.”
“Ye call that progress? That’s so far from getting’ laid— It’s not even in the ballpark, ye git,” I laughed.
“Give the boy some credit,” said Killian. “He almost asked her out. Remember that anonymous note he tried to put in her locker?”
“Ah, yes,” I recalled. “You were sweating so much, she couldn’t read the paper. The ink came off in your hands. Whatever happened to Martha?”
“Didn’t she marry that bus driver from Dublin?” said Killian, scratching his head as if he was still trying to remember. “I think they have three children now.”
“That could’ve been me,” said Aiden.
“You’re a young lad. Do you really want three kids?” I laughed. “You don’t even have a dog.”
“Are you that anxious to get married? Seriously, Aiden,” asked Killian.
“No, not really,” he said. “It’s just that I’ve never had a proper girlfriend. This Mila, I feel like she could be the one, ya know?”
“I do know,” said Killian. “That’s why I’m competin’ with ye. I think we all shared a moment with the lass. Maybe one of those moments were real, maybe they were all in our heads, maybe they were all real. Who knows? No matter what happens, we should remain friends.”
“Aye, I agree,” I added. “The last think we need is a woman coming between us. She’s a yank. Maybe she’d date us all, who knows?”
“Why do you suggest that?” asked Aiden. “She seems like a nice girl.”
“See, lad. That’s where you and I differ,” I said. “You don’t know women like I know ‘em. I got a sixth sense about these things. That witch is a sexual being deep down, just like all of us. She’s a bit randy. I can sense it.”
“I think the only thing you’re sensing is your own dick,” said Killian. “Ya horny bastard. For this, I have to agree with Aiden. She seems like a nice girl.”
“Shanna’s a nice girl, and she’s with two guys at once,” I pointed out. “Maybe it’s an American thing. Perhaps Mila is into it, too.”
“That’s true,” said Donovan. “But if Aiden here doesn’t keep himself alive, he’ll never get to find out.”
“All right, all right, you can come,” said Aiden. “But don’t sabotage me. I’m leading the thing, all right? We go my way at my pace. Don’t jump in there while I’m talking to her.”
“That’s not the way it works, I’m afraid,” I informed him. “All’s fair in love and war, Aiden. You’ll just have to do the best ye can.”
“Why do ye have to be like that, Donovan?” he objected.
“Ye think a great witch like Mila isn’t going to be on the mind of every elf who sees her? That’s what it is to date a beautiful woman, lad. It’s work. Constant work. Ye have to remain vigilant or someone will come in and take her from ye,” I explained. “How would like that, eh? Ya do all that work and then ye lose her?”
“It’s a market economy, lad,” added Killian. “Even when you’re trying to get a girl. If we didn’t compete, you wouldn’t be getting a lesson on how it works in the real world. We’re doing you a fucking favor.”
“Aye. So if you beat us, you win for real. And if you don’t, well, you’ll be better for the next time, right?” I said.
We clinked glasses and agreed to compete for Mila and let the best elf win.
Aiden seemed to understand, but he didn’t seem to be very happy about it. Such was life, though, and the sooner he learned that, the better.
Chapter 7
Mila
I was meeting Aiden in the lobby of Hennessy House to head over to the McDonnells. I was so glad he had offered to come with me to meet them. I could hold my own as a witch, but it was good to have a big, strapping elf for backup.
When I arrived in the lobby, I found Donovan and Killian standing with Aiden. That was a surprise. But, the more elves the merrier, when you were off to meet a family of witches with a bad reputation, I supposed.
“Hey Mila,” Aiden greeted me.
“Hey everyone,” I said. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, a little uncomfortably. “Donovan and Killian wanted to come for back up.”
“Back up?”
“Yeah, they’re worried about the McDonnells getting out of hand,” he explained.
“They probably won’t, but ye never know,” added Killian.
“It’ll be fine,” assured Donovan. “With three strappin’ lads like us walking with you, nothing can happen, right?”
“Are you— Is there going to be a fight?” I asked.
“No, no,” assured Donovan. “But if there is, I’ll win. Problem solved.”
“I really don’t want there to be a fight,” I insisted. “Promise me you won’t start it, no matter what happens.”
“I can mostly promise that,” said Donovan.
“Donovan.”
“What?”
“You’re using a qualifier. That’s not a definitive answer,” I pointed out.
“It’ll be fine,” assured Donovan.
“Look, this is really important,” I said. “My mother did a lot of the research and she passed away not too long ago.”
“Oh, sorry, lass,” said Donovan, sincerely.
“We’re all sorry,” added Killian.
“Thanks, I appreciate it, but— I want this to go right, okay? So, no fighting?”
“Honest and true, I won’t,” said Donovan, crossing his heart and holding his hand up.
“Okay, because this is really important, guys,” I said. “I cannot stress that enough.”
“Promise, promise,” said Donovan. “We’ll take my car.”
We walked outside, and Donovan led us to his convertible. It was an older style car, but it looked brand new.
“You like it?” he said. “I built it from a kit.”
“You built it?” said Aiden. “Does it come with helmets?”
“Oh, ha ha,” said Donovan, sarcastically. “Get in before I change my mind.”
We got into the car and started to head to the McDonnells. The wind was making my hair go everywhere.
I tried to hold it down, but it was almost impossible. Aiden managed to get a hold of it for me on the drive. His hand brushed against my neck and I got that tingle again.
Killian offered me a ribbon to tie it up. When he handed it to me, I brushed against his hand and got the same spark.
It seemed like the first spark wasn’t a fluke. My mother wasn’t lying when she had told me it existed. And here I was feeling it for the first time in my life.
How could it be, though, that I had felt it with three guys at once?
When we finally arrived at the McDonnells’ house, I took Donovan’s hand while I was getting out of the car. It was another “zap”, like I’d been hit by a small bolt of lightning.
The McDonnell homestead was everything that had been advertised. There was trash in the yard and not just a few car parts. The sidewalk was crooked and the plants had all gone to weeds.
“Do you want us to stay in the car, lass?” asked Donovan.
The place actually looked like an Irish crack house. Who knew what these people were like? I began to have second thoughts and doubts about coming here. The only thing that pushed me through was knowing that it had been important to my mother, just like I had explained to the guys.
“No way,” I said. “Please, will you come with me?”
“Of course,” they all reassured me.
I felt
weird relying on these three elves that I barely knew, but I knew them better than the McDonnell family that I was about to meet, I was afraid.
We walked up the path, which was filled with cobblestones that become crooked over the years. We arrived at the front door and I gave it a timid knock. Meanwhile, Donovan got down to business, pounding on the door with one hand, as if he meant it.
We could hear harsh voices inside. I thought they were arguing about who was going to open the door.
Finally, after a few minutes, Donovan knocked again. This time we heard some footsteps heading our way. I prepared myself and what I was going to say.
My plan was to say something like, “Sorry about that. We didn’t think you heard us. Hello. I’m Mila Jackson. My mother contacted you? I’m a McDonnell and I was interested in learning more about my birthplace and my distance relatives.”
Unfortunately, I never got to say anything close to that. When the door opened, an old woman was standing there. She appeared to be very wrinkled and almost as annoyed. She had wisps of white hair and very crooked teeth.
She held up her hand threateningly.
“Off with ye,” she screamed. “We don’t entertain your kind around here.”
With that, she promptly slammed the door in our faces.
“What the heck was that about?” said Aiden.
“I mean, the McDonnells are a rude bunch, but that was rude even for them,” added Donovan.
“And to say they don’t entertain our kind?” Aiden said, looking offended. “We’re the ones who should be saying that to her. Doesn’t she know their own reputation? Having us at her house would raise it, not lower it!”
“What would ye like to do here, Mila?” asked Killian.
“Maybe it’s a bad time,” I said, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. “Let’s go for now. We’ll come back.”
As we were leaving, a big, goonish guy came from around the corner of the house. He was dragging a shovel with him.
“Hey, you,” he said. “What’s all this then? Why you botherin’ mi family?”
“We’re not f-f-f-ucking b-b-bothering anyone, T-t-Peter,” Aiden stammered.
“Y-y-y-you’re n-n-not?” he mocked.