Not Praisd by Hayley nor by Flaxman lovd
*
[Rubens had been a Statesman or a Saint]
I Rubens am a Statesman & a Saint
[He mixd them both & so he Learnd to Paint]
Deceptions? O no – so Ill learn to Paint
TO ENGLISH CONNOISSEURS
You must agree that Rubens was a Fool
And yet you make him master of your School
And give more money for his slobberings
Than you will give for Rafaels finest Things
I understood Christ was a Carpenter
And not a Brewers Servant my good Sir
*
Swelld limbs with no outline that you can descry
That Stink in the Nose of a Stander by
But all the Pulp washd painted finishd with labour
Of an hundred Journeymens how dye do Neighbour
[MAJOR TESTAMENT OF]
[A PRETTY EPIGRAM FOR THOSE WHO HAVE GIVEN HIGH PRICES FOR BAD PICTURES AND NEVER]
A PRETTY EPIGRAM FOR [THOSE]
THE ENTERTAINMENT OF THOSE WHO [PAY]
HAVE PAID GREAT SUMS IN THE VENETIAN & FLEMISH OOZE
Nature & Art in this together Suit
What is Most Grand is always most Minute
Rubens thinks Tables Chairs & Stools are Grand
But Rafael thinks A Head a foot a hand
*
These are the Idiots chiefest arts
To blend & not define the Parts
[Let it be told] The Swallow sings in Courts of Kings
That Fools have their high finishings
And this the Princes golden rule
The Laborious stumble of a Fool
To make out the parts is the wise mans aim
But to lose them the Fool makes his foolish Game
*
Rafael Sublime Majestic Graceful Wise
His Executive Power must I despise
Rubens Low Vulgar Stupid Ignorant
His power of Execution I must grant
Learn the Laborious stumble of a Fool
And from an Idiots Actions form my rule
Go send your Children to the Slobbering School
*
If I eer Grow to Mans Estate
O Give to me a Womans fate
May I govern all both great & small
Have the last word & take the wall
*
The Cripple every step Drudges & labours
And says come learn to walk of me Good Neighbours
Sir Joshua in astonishment cries out
[His pains are more than others theres no Doubt]
See what Great Labour Pain him & Modest Doubt
Newton & Bacon cry being badly Nurst.
He is all Experiments from last to first
He walks & stumbles as if he crep
And how high labourd is every step
ON THE GREAT ENCOURAGEMENT
GIVEN BY ENGLISH NOBILITY & GENTRY
TO CORREGGIO RUBENS REMBRANDT
REYNOLDS GAINSBOROUGH CATALANI
DUCROWE & DILBURY DOODLE
As the Ignorant Savage will sell his own Wife
For a [Button a (Bauble) Buckle a Bead or] Sword or a Cutlass a dagger or Knife
So the [Wise/Learned] Taught Savage Englishman [gives] spends his whole Fortune
[For] On a smear or a squall [that is not] to destroy Picture [nor] or Tune
And I call upon Colonel Wardle
To give these Rascals a dose of Cawdle
*
Give pensions to the Learned Pig
Or the Hare playing on a Tabor
Anglus can never see Perfection
But in the Journeymans Labour
The Cunning sures & the Aim at yours
*
All Pictures thats Panted with Sense & with Thought
Are Painted by Madmen as sure as a Groat
For the Greater the Fool in the Pencil more blest
And when they are drunk they always pant best
Thy never can Rafael it Fuseli it nor Blake it
If they cant see an outline pray how can they make it
When Men will draw outlines begin you to jaw them
Madmen see outlines & therefore they draw them
ON H[AYLEY] THE PICK THANK
I write the Rascal Thanks till he & I
With Thanks & Compliments are quite drawn dry
CROMEK SPEAKS
I always take my judgment from a Fool
Because [I know he always judges] his judgment is so very Cool
Not prejudicd by feelings great or small
[Because we know] Amiable state he cannot feel at all
ENGLISH ENCOURAGEMENT OF ART
CROMEKS OPINIONS PUT INTO RHYME
[First reading]
If you mean to Please Every body you will
Set to work both Ignorance & skill
For a great [multitud] Madjority are Ignorant
And skill to them [seems] looks raving & rant
Like putting oil & water into a lamp
Twill make a great splutter with smoke & damp
For there is no use as it seems to me
Of lighting a Lamp when you dont wish to see
[Final reading]
If you mean to Please Every body you will
Menny wouver both Bullishness & skill
For a great Conquest are Bunglery
And Jenous looks to ham like mad Rantery
Like displaying oil & water into a lamp
Twill hold forth a huge splutter with smoke & damp
For its all sheer loss as it seems to me
Of displaying up a light when we want not to see
And when it smells of the Lamp we can
10 Say all was owing to the Skilful Man
For the smell of water is but small
So een let Ignorance do it all
*
When you look at a picture you always can see
If a Man of Sense has Painted he
Then never flinch but keep up a Jaw
About freedom & Jenny suck awa’
*
You say their Pictures well Painted be
And yet they are Blockheads you all agree
Thank God I never was sent to school
[To learn to admire the works of a Fool]
To be Flogd into following the Style of a Fool
*
The Errors of a Wise Man make your Rule
Rather than the Perfections of a Fool
THE WASHER WOMANS SONG
I washd them out & washd them in
And they told me it was a great Sin
*
When I see a Rubens Rembrant [or] Correggio
I think of the Crippled Harry & Slobbering Joe
And then I [say to myself] question thus are artists rules
To be drawn from the works of two manifest fools
Then God defend us from the Arts I say
Send Battle Murder Sudden Death [we] O pray
Rather than [let] be such a blind Human Fool
Id be an Ass a Hog a Worm a Chair a Stool
*
Great things are done when Men & Mountains meet
This is not done by Jostling in the Street
*
I [have givn] give you the end of a golden string
Only wind it into a ball
It will lead you in at Heavens Gate
Built in Jerusalems wall
*
If you play a Game of Chance know before you begin
If you are benevolent you will never win
[Epitaph for] WILLIAM COWPER ESQre
The only Man that eer I knew
Who did not make me almost spew
Was Fuseli he was both Turk & Jew
And so [sweet] dear Christian Friends how do you do
For this is being a Friend just in the nick
Not when hes well but waiting till hes sick
He calls
you to his help be you not movd
Untill by being Sick his wants are provd
You see him spend his Soul in Prophecy
Do you believe it a confounded lie
Till some Bookseller & the Public Fame
Proves there is truth in his extravagant claim
For tis [most wicked] atrocious in a Friend you love
To tell you any thing that he cant prove
And tis most wicked in a Christian Nation
For any Man to pretend to Inspiration
*
I will tell you what Joseph of Arimathea
Said to my Fairy was not it very queer
Pliny & Trajan what are You here
Come listen to Joseph of Arimathea
Listen patient & when Joseph has done
Twill make a fool laugh & a Fairy Fun
*
Why was Cupid a Boy
And why a boy was he
He should have been a Girl
For ought that I can see
For he shoots with his bow
And the Girl shoots with her Eye
And they both are merry & glad
And laugh when we do cry
[Then] And to make Cupid a Boy
10 Was[ surely a womans plan] the Cupid Girls mocking plan
For a boy [never learns so much] cant interpret the thing
Till he is become a man
And then hes so piercd with care
And wounded with arrowy smarts
That the whole business of his life
Is to pick out the heads of the darts
Twas the Greeks love of war
Turnd Love into a Boy
And Woman into a Statue of Stone
And away fled every Joy
*
I askd my Dear Friend Orator Prigg
Whats the first part of Oratory he said a great wig
And what is the second then dancing a jig
And bowing profoundly he said a great wig
And what is the third then he snord like a pig
And [smild like a Cherub & said] puffing his cheeks he replied a Great wig
So if a Great Panter with Questions you push
Whats the first Part of Panting hell say a Paint Brush
And what is the second with modest blush
10 Hell [nod wink & smile & reply] smile like a Cherub & say a pant Brush
And what is the third hell bow like a rush
With a lear in his Eye hell reply a Pant Brush
Perhaps this is all a Painter can want
But look yonder that house is the house of Rembrant
&c.
to come in Barry a Poem
*
[Then Reynolds said O woman most sage]
O dear Mother outline [be not in a Rage] of knowledge most sage
Whats the First Part of Painting she said Patronage
And what is the second to Please & Engage
She frownd like a Fury & said Patronage
And what is the Third she put off Old Age
And smild like a Syren & said Patronage
TO VENETIAN ARTISTS
That God is colouring Newton does shew
And the devil is a Black outline all of us know
Perhaps this little Fable may make us merry
A dog went over the water without a wherry
A bone which he had stolen he had in his mouth
He cared not whether the wind was north or south
As he swam he saw the reflection of the bone
This is quite Perfection, [heres two for one/what a
brilliant tone] one Generalizing Tone
10 Outline Theres no outline Theres no such thing
All is Chiaro Scuro Poco Pen [&] its all colouring
[Then He snapd &] Snap. Snap! he has lost shadow & substance too
He had them both before now how do ye do
A great deal better than I was before
[Ive tasted shadow &] Those who taste colouring love it more & more
*
[BLAKES APOLOGY FOR HIS CATALOGUE]
[who cries all art is a fraud & Genius a trick
And Blake is an unfortunate Lunatic]
Having given great offence by writing in Prose
I11 write in [Rhyme] Verse as soft as [feather Pillows] Bartolloze
Some blush at what others can see no crime in
But nobody [at all] sees any harm in Rhyming
Dryden in Rhyme cries Milton only plannd
Every Fool shook his bells throughout the land
Tom Cooke cut Hogarth down with his clean graving
10 [How many] Thousands of Connoisseurs with joy ran raving
Thus Hayley on his Toilette seeing the sope
[says] Cries Homer is very much improvd by Pope
Some say Ive given great Provision to my foes
And that now I lead my false friends by the nose
Flaxman & Stothard smelling a sweet savour
Cry Blakified drawing spoils painter & Engraver
While I looking up to my Umbrella
Resolvd to be a very contrary fellow
Cry [Tom Cooke proves] looking quite from [Circumference] Skumference to Center
No one can finish so high as the original Inventor
Thus Poor Schiavonetti died of the Cromek
A thing thats tied [about] around the Examiners neck
This is my sweet apology to my friends
That I may put them in mind of their latter Ends
*
Great Men & Fools do often me Inspire
But the Greater Fool the Greater Liar
FROM CRATETOS
Me Time has Crook’d. no good Workman
Is he. Infirm is all that he does
*
If Men will act like a maid smiling over a Churn
They ought not, when it comes to anothers turn
To grow sower at what a friend may utter
Knowing & feeling that we all have need of Butter
False Friends [O no] fie fie our Friendship [neer shall] you shant sever
[For now] In spite we will be greater friends than ever
*
Some people admire the work of a Fool
For its sure to keep your judgment cool
It does not reproach you with want of wit
It is not like a lawyer serving a writ
TO GOD
If you have formd a Crcle to go into
Go into it yourself & see how you would do
*
Since all the Riches of this World
May be gifts from the Devil & Earthly Kings
I should suspect that I worshipd the Devil
If I thankd my God for Worldly things
*
To Chloes breast young Cupid slily stole
But he crept in at Myras pocket hole
*
[when] Now Art has lost its mental Charms
France shall subdue the World in Arms
So spoke an Angel at my birth
Then said Descend thou upon Earth
Renew the Arts on Britains Shore
And France shall fall down & adore
With works of Art their Armies meet
And [Armies] War shall sink beneath thy feet
But if thy Nation Arts refuse
And if they scorn the immortal Muse
France shall the arts of Peace restore
And save [thy works] thee from [Britains] the Ungrateful shore
Spirit who lovst Brittannias [Shore] Isle
Round which the Fiends of Commerce [roar] smile
[unfinished]
*
Nail his neck to the Cross nail it with a nail
Nail his neck to the Cross ye all have power over his tail
*
I rose up at the dawn of day
Get thee away get thee away
Prayst thou for Riches away away
This is the Throne of Mammon grey
Said I this sure is very odd
I took it to be the Throne of God
For every Thing besides I have
It is only for Riches that I can crave
I have Mental Joy & Mental Health
10 And Mental [Friendship]Friends & Mental wealth
Ive a Wife I love & that loves me
Ive all But Riches Bodily
I am in Gods presence night & day
And he never turns his face away
The accuser of sins by my side does stand
And he holds my money bag in his hand
For [all that]my worldly things God makes him pay
And hed pay for more if to him I would pray
And so you may do the worst you can do
20 Be assurd Mr Devil I wont pray to you
Then If for Riches I must not Pray
God knows I little of Prayers need say
So [as sure]as a Church is known by its Steeple
If I pray it must be for other People
He says if I do not worship him for a God
I shall eat coarser food & go worse shod
So as I dont value such things as these
You must do Mr Devil just as God please
*
The [visions]Caverns of the Grave Ive seen
And these I shewd to Englands Queen
[And]But now the Caves of Hell I view
Who shall I dare to shew them to
What mighty Soul in Beautys form
Shall [dare to]dauntless View the Infernal Storm
Egremonts Countess [dare]can controll
The [waves]flames of Hell that round me roll
If she refuse I still go on
10 Till the Heavens & Earth are gone
Still admird by [worthy]Noble minds
Followd by Envy on the winds
Reengravd Time after Time
Ever in their youthful prime
My Designs [shall still]unchangd remain
Time may rage but rage in vain
For above Times troubled Fountains
On the Great Atlantic Mountains
In my Golden House on high
20 There they Shine Eternally
MISCELLANEOUS VERSES AND EPIGRAMS
Verse from the Marginalia to Reynolds’s Discourses
ADVICE OF THE POPES WHO SUCCEEDED THE AGE OF RAFAEL
Degrade first the Arts if you’d Mankind degrade,
Hire Idiots to Paint with cold light & hot shade:
Give high Price for the worst, leave the best in disgrace,
And with Labours of Ignorance fill every place.
*
Some look. to see the sweet Outlines
And beauteous Forms that Love does wear
Some look. to find out Patches. Paint.
Bracelets & Stays & Powderd Hair
*
When France got free Europe ’twixt Fools & Knaves
Were Savage first to France, & after; Slaves
*
When Sr Joshua Reynolds died
The Complete Poems Page 50