He knocked on the desktop and said, “All right. I’m gonna head out. Help me with these pots?”
Milo slurped up one more bite of soup and stood to help Adam carry his dishes out to the cruiser. Adam tinkered in the shed before taking Gypsy and Fable down to the beach for an evening run.
He somehow made it through the day—and two more—before texting Janey. Hey, what are you doing for lunch tomorrow?
With Jess at school, maybe Adam could sneak a quick date with her midweek. He stared at the sportscasters on the TV as they went over the same two college football teams as that morning. How they could sit and talk about the same things over and over, he wasn’t sure.
Working tomorrow, she texted back.
Adam abandoned his feigned interest in the TV and focused on his phone. I thought you said you didn’t work Wednesdays. His heart bobbed around in his chest like it wasn’t anchored properly.
I usually don’t. But I’m taking the whole weekend off. Working this Wednesday and next.
His hopes of seeing her before the weekend withered.
What about tomorrow night for dinner? she messaged, bringing them right back to life.
Bringing Jess? I can cook and take him out to the shed.
He has a youth activity. They’re going out to the apple orchards, so there should be time for dinner.
Adam grinned like he might take up a new career as a clown. “Sure,” he said as he typed. “Dinner tomorrow.”
With the date set, he relaxed back into the couch. With a jolt, he sat straight up again. If he went out with Janey here in town, everyone would know about it. The very walls of every restaurant in Hawthorne Harbor had eyes, and it wouldn’t take long for the news of him dining with Janey Germaine to get around the gossip circles in town.
So what? He didn’t care if people knew they’d gone out. But she might. And he usually waited until a relationship was well-seated before taking it public. Because he was a public figure, whether he—or Janey—liked it.
Worry pulled his eyebrows into a frown, and he did the only thing he could think of: He called Janey.
“Hey,” she said, adding a giggle to the word that made him breathless.
“Hey.” He cleared his throat. “This is going to sound weird, but hear me out, okay?”
Scuffling came through the line and she said, “Just a sec.” He could hear her breathing and a few seconds later, she said, “Okay, I’m alone now.”
So they were keeping their relationship on the down-low. He nodded though she couldn’t see him. It made sense. She had a son. He had every eye in town on him.
“So it’s about why you just made sure you were alone.”
“I just—I’ve never dated anyone before. I don’t know how Jess will take it.”
Adam’s eyebrows practically flew off his forehead. “We’re dating?”
“Um.” Her giggle had turned nervous. “We went to dinner, and now we’re going again. I said it was a date. So yeah.” Her voice took on some strength. “I’d say we’re dating.”
“But you don’t want to tell Jess about it yet.”
“Right.”
“Then we can’t go to dinner in town tomorrow.” At least some of the pressure was off of him.
“Why not?”
“Why not?” He chuckled. “Janey, I realize that we grew up together and you might not see me the way everyone else does.” Wow, he really hoped she didn’t see him the way everyone else in Hawthorne Harbor did. “But I’m the Chief of Police, and I’ve been single forever, and who I go to dinner with can quickly become the topic of a lot of gossip.”
“Ohhh.” She drew the word out as she exhaled. “I see.”
He wanted to offer to cook, but at the same time, he didn’t. He wanted to go out with her. “What about if we drive over to Forks?” he asked.
“That’s quite the drive.”
“Forty-five minutes, tops.”
She snorted and laughed. “Are you planning to use the siren to get us there in forty-five minutes? Because that’s an hour-long drive, easy.”
“Sure. I can use the siren if you’d like.” He sifted through more possibilities in his mind. “We could go to this great place I know in Bell Hill.”
“Bell Hill is more reasonable,” she agreed.
“Great, so I’ll come get you around six-thirty, and we’ll head over to Bell Hill.” It was only twenty minutes to the slightly bigger town, and Adam had spent some time there after his girlfriend two or three ago had broken up with him.
“Jess is leaving at six-thirty,” Janey said. “So like, six-forty.”
Adam agreed and got off the line before he said something too soft, that might reveal too much. He wasn’t sure who he was hiding from. Himself? Janey? His feelings for her weren’t secret anymore, something he was actually very happy about. But he still didn’t want to come on too strong, too soon.
After all, he’d told her a little bit about himself and his love of puzzles and putting things together. He hadn’t told her about his promise to Matt, or that he’d only had eyes for her for over two decades.
“And you don’t need to,” he told himself as he picked up the remote control and turned off the TV. “Not right now. Save it for when things are actually serious.” He hoped with everything in him that he could continue the relationship with her until it reached serious status. Otherwise, the last twenty-one years of his life would’ve been a complete waste.
* * *
“Specialty macaroni and cheese?” Janey gazed at the trifold sign standing on the sidewalk outside of Cheese, the joint Adam had just parked in front of.
“They have everything cheese you can think of,” he said. “Cheese and crackers. Cheesy dips with chips. And yes, mac and cheese.” He beamed at her as he opened the door and ushered her in.
Just the salty, savory scent of the shop made his mouth water and his pulse calm. He’d waited at the end of her street until he saw Jess skateboard in the opposite direction. Then he’d eased into the driveway and collected Janey for their date.
The drive had happened in a blink, and he wasn’t even sure what he’d said. She wore a simple T-shirt the color of plums and a pair of denim shorts that barely reached her knees, and he couldn’t seem to get a proper breath because of her floral, fruity scent.
“Grilled cheese sandwiches,” she said, her whole face lighting up.
“The one made with a waffle will change your world,” he said. “It’s so good.”
“Three cheeses embedded inside a crispy, savory waffle.” She scanned the menu. “Yeah, that’s what I want.”
“With soup or without?”
“Which soup? Oh. The tomato bisque? Is it good?”
“I mean, it’s not as good as what I make, but it’s decent.”
She pushed against his bicep playfully, and Adam’s whole body felt like he’d been hooked up to a live wire. “Not as good as what you make. Come on.” She peered up at him. “Do you make tomato bisque?”
He laughed and slung his arm around her shoulders, claiming her as his in front of everyone in the shop. “Only once, and it wasn’t that great.”
“So no bisque for the festival.”
“No way. It wouldn’t win anyway.”
“No?”
“No. The cook-off is too hoity-toity for mere bisque.”
“Then why do you want to win so bad?”
He lifted one shoulder and stepped up to the counter to order. “Street cred.” He rattled off what he wanted and added Janey’s waffle grilled cheese and tomato bisque. Without thinking, he stepped back while the cashier ran his card, threading his fingers through Janey’s again and sweeping a kiss across her temple.
She froze, and he stiffened too, cursing himself for doing something that felt so natural to him, but that he knew—he knew—would freak her out.
He stepped away from her in the pretense of taking his debit card and putting it back in his wallet. Maybe if he played the kiss off as nothing, she would too
. He flashed her a smile and took the number the cashier handed him.
“Where do you want to sit?”
Chapter Nine
A thread of awkwardness still connected her and Adam while they waited for their food. He made small talk and didn’t seem to care that she barely contributed to the conversation. She couldn’t. Every internal organ was quaking, shaking, wondering what in the world she was doing.
Dating her late husband’s best friend? Who did that?
But Maya hadn’t seemed to have a problem with it, on any of the numerous occasions Janey had brought it up with her. She really needed to talk to Gretchen about it, but she didn’t want to. Didn’t want this weekend to be anything but perfect for her best friend. And besides, Adam wanted to keep their relationship in the shadows for now too.
Their number was called, and he got up to get their food. When he returned, she’d finally managed to quell the tremors in her stomach. Her pulse still rippled whenever Adam trained his handsome eyes in her direction.
He’d ordered a buffalo chicken wing mac-and-cheese as well as a cheesy chips and queso. She stared at the huge portion and asked, “Can you eat all that?”
“Sure.” He picked up a chip and dunked it in the spicy cheese dip. “You can have some, though.”
She picked up one half of her waffle grilled cheese, which had been cut into triangles, and bit into the corner. Salt, cream, and crispy, browned waffle met her tongue, and she moaned. “Oh, my gosh.”
“Right?” He nudged his queso closer to her and she took a chip to try it.
“Also delicious,” she said, grinning at him.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, and then he cleared his throat. “So, we should probably talk about Matt.”
Janey’s muscles seized and then seemed to melt, leaving her feeling discombobulated and out of sort. “Oh, uh....”
“Just something you said on the phone last night,” he said.
“Oh, what did I say?” She searched her memory for what she could’ve said during their brief call the previous evening.
“You said you never dated, which I know isn’t true.” He took a drink of his soda. “You meant you haven’t dated since Matt died.”
Janey swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I meant.” She dunked her waffle sandwich into her bisque and took a bite, the spiciness of the soup only enhancing the mellow cheese.
“Why’s that?” he asked.
She paused, searching his face to see if he was joking. He didn’t seem to be. “Are you asking me why I haven’t dated since my husband died?”
He flinched as if she’d flicked water in his face. “Yes, that’s what I’m asking. It’s been twelve years. I mean, I didn’t expect you to start dating the next day or anything.” He stirred his mac and cheese. “But twelve years?” He shrugged, like that would punctuate it all perfectly.
She squinted at him. He’d never been vague like this before. What Adam Herrin thought, everyone knew, because he said it. Unapologetically, the way he had last year when he’d argued against increasing the budget to expand the library. He hadn’t been popular with moms for a few months, but in the end, he’d been right. The old community center functioned brilliantly as the new library, and the smaller building now housed the public works city offices.
Tilting her head, she took another chip and dipped it. “What are you really asking me?”
He shrugged one of those powerful shoulders again, and while she’d found it cute before, she didn’t now. “Come on,” she said. “Tell me.”
He exhaled and put his fork down. “I guess I’m just wondering if I even have a shot here.” He looked away. “I mean, I don’t think how I feel is a secret anymore, and I’m not gettin’ any younger. So.”
Since he was the first man she’d even seen since Matt’s death, Janey had no idea how to tell if he had a shot or not. They’d been friends for a lifetime. How could he not have a shot?
“Why haven’t you gotten married?” she asked, dipping her sandwich again.
He cleared his throat and then put an overly-large bite of food into his mouth. She waited until he chewed and swallowed, admiring the slow flush that crawled across his cheeks.
“I’d rather not say,” he said. “Right now. Maybe after—I mean—maybe in the future.”
Janey liked that she could fluster the tough, tall chief. “I think you have a shot,” she said, causing his gaze to fly to hers.
“Yeah?” He looked so boyish with all that hope shining in his eyes.
She laughed and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “Yeah. Why are you so surprised?”
“I don’t know.”
But he did, Janey could tell. The Chief of Police wasn’t a great liar. He just had another thing he didn’t want to tell her. Right now, she thought. And she had time to get answers from him. She wanted to go slow, see if she could work out her knotted feelings before she made any big life changes.
Since he’d put something on the table between them, she leaned forward and said, “I’m interested in whatever you want to tell me in the future.”
“Could be a while,” he said, his voice taking on the gruff tone he used as a police officer.
“I’ve got time,” she said. “I—I don’t want to go too fast anyway.”
He nodded, the sparkle in his eyes so darn attractive Janey could barely maintain eye contact. “Sounds like a plan.”
She groaned. “No plans until the weekend. Then I’m sure Gretchen will have me running from dawn until dusk.” Her phone chimed and she glanced at it to see she’d gotten a text from her best friend. “Speak of the devil....”
Janey swiped open the email and read quickly, a laugh starting in her chest. She turned it toward Adam. “I was so right. Look. An itinerary for this weekend.”
He studied her phone and then picked up his. “Do you think I got one of those?” He swiped and tapped and scrolled. “Yep. I sure did.” He shook his head but he was smiling. “She’s detail-oriented, isn’t she?”
“She’s the best.” Janey flipped her phone over and set it on the table, a wild idea occurring to her. “Have you ever been up to the bell tower this town is named after?”
“Oh, sure,” he said. “I got to come when they rededicated it and stand in uniform behind the podium. You know how cops sometimes do.” He rolled his shoulders as if to say No big deal. I’m just a celebrity.
Janey finished her soup and sandwich and said, “Well, I’d like to go see it. I’ve only been there once, and it was before the rededication.”
“Oh, it’s great,” he said. “They built new bathrooms, and put down a huge field, and there’s a nice plaque and monument now.”
She stood and extended her hand toward him. “Care to take me there, Chief?” The moment his hand met hers, Janey’s whole body sighed. She remembered feeling like this with Matt too, and she basked in the memories instead of pushing them away.
Adam had already brought him up; maybe Janey could too. “I miss him a lot, some days,” she said as they left the cheese restaurant. “And other days, I don’t think about him at all. It’s strange, and there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it.”
She couldn’t look at him, but the way his hand tightened on hers was enough of an indication that he’d heard. That he was okay talking about Matt.
“Sometimes I wonder what he’d be doing if he was still alive.” Adam’s voice was so quiet, Janey could barely hear him.
“He loved the ferries.”
“But he was more than that,” Adam said.
Janey scrunched up her face, trying to imagine Matt now. She couldn’t. “He’s completely frozen in time for me,” she said. “I can’t even imagine what he might look like now, or what he’d be doing. He’s still that twenty-four-year-old man I fell in love with.”
“He was a great man,” Adam said, his head down and his hand still tight in hers.
“He was.” Janey lifted her head and put one foot in front of the other as Ad
am led her down the street and through a park. She’d only spoken to her mother and sisters about Matt, and it felt cleansing to add Adam to her very short list of trusted confidantes. It also reminded her to call her mom and talk to her about Adam.
Why hadn’t she thought of that before? She didn’t need Gretchen—she could call Annabelle after she put Jess to bed that night. Set on her plan, and hoping for some good advice about the upcoming beach weekend with Adam, she could focus on the beautiful bell towers that had been built on the rise of the hill and thus earned the town of Bell Hill it’s name.
* * *
“Oh, my gosh, I was just going to call you.” Annabelle didn’t even use “hello” to answer Janey’s calls anymore. Janey swore her sister just picked up and continued a previous conversation whenever she called.
“What? Why?” she asked.
“Guess what I just heard?”
“I’ll never guess.” Janey sorted through the pretzels in her bowl to find three chocolate chips in the bottom. She popped the pretzel and the three chips into her mouth together, the best treat on the planet.
“Tommy Ryan is back in town.”
Janey let the chocolate melt against her tongue. “Tommy Ryan, my high school boyfriend?”
“Yes!” Annabelle shrieked. “And he’s divorced, and you should totally go out with him.”
Janey sighed, but Annabelle kept talking. “I know you don’t date, but I really think you should break your vow of celibacy when it comes to him.”
“I didn’t take a vow of celibacy.” Janey scoffed. “And I’m not interested in Tommy Ryan. Or have you forgotten why we broke up?”
“So he went out with another girl when he got to college.”
“No, no,” Janey said. “No. It wasn’t a girl. It was his English professor, and it was more than one date, and we weren’t even broken up yet.”
“He was out of high school. It wasn’t illegal.”
“I’m not interested.”
“Janey,” Annabelle whined. “He even asked about you.”
Hawthorne Harbor Box Set Page 28