Chapter Seventeen
Trent just needed to eat. And get out of this building. He felt confined to it, and he’d been looking forward to lunch with Lauren.
So maybe he was just disappointed. But as his feet put more and more distance between them, he knew he was angry with her. Angry.
And he hadn’t felt angry with anyone in quite a while.
Sure, maybe God from time to time, but not another person he had to interact with on a daily basis. Not someone like Lauren, who he wanted to interact with whenever he could.
So what was wrong with him today?
He walked in the rain, his head bent and his police cap doing little to keep the rain off his face. Thoroughly soaked, he arrived at his cruiser and got in. The interior smelled like a wet dog, because he’d finished with Wilson about an hour ago and had taken the dog back to his house.
He hadn’t had the stomach to make the four German shepherds stay in their outdoor kennel, so they were all currently cooped up in the kitchen, where they’d stay dry and warm. His mother had texted to say Porter was having a blast, and that they were making mac and cheese for lunch.
Trent’s stomach roared, and he started the car and backed out of the parking space. He just needed to eat.
So he went through a drive-through and got a burger and fries. He ate it right there in the car, washing everything down with his favorite cola. And still he was annoyed that Lauren had silenced her phone and then fallen asleep.
She was the one who’d mentioned lunch. Didn’t she know how difficult it was for him to organize his schedule to fit hers? He’d worked on the plans for the Festival of Trees for weeks, and he was late returning to the community center as it was.
He sighed and rested his forehead against the cold glass in his car. He wanted to take a nap too, but he couldn’t. He had work to do.
So he drove back to the Festival and went in to relieve Lou so the man could have a lunch too. Jason and Paul had been replaced with two others, one of which was the Chief himself.
“Hey, Adam,” he said as he approached the man standing guard at the entrance.
“There you are. Good lunch?”
“I guess.” Trent didn’t want to talk to anyone. “I’m on the floor next. I’ll send Lou out.”
Adam cocked his head as if he could see Trent’s troubled thoughts. “Sounds good. I sent Gil to find you. He’s probably in the control room.”
“Great.” Before Trent could walk away, Adam’s hand shot out and touched his arm.
“You okay?”
Trent met his boss’s eye, wanting to ask a million questions about women. He felt like he should know more than he currently did. He’d been married before, for crying out loud. But it had been a long time since those days, and he’d been busy trying to figure out how to live without Savannah and raise Porter by himself.
“Yeah,” he simply said and walked away.
He found Lou in aisle three hundred, and said, “Time for your lunch, Lou. I’ll take the floor.”
“Thanks.” Lou wore a look of utter gratitude, and he headed for the food booths. Trent wandered, seemingly looking at the trees, but he was really just watching for people or things that might become problems.
He saw Lauren working on something at one of the tree stations, but he turned around and went back the way he’d already come.
Why, he didn’t know. Only that he didn’t want to see her right then. A bit of shame sifted through him that he’d simply walked away from her. They’d been getting along so well for weeks, despite Trent’s hang-ups about his first wife.
He finished his shift and went to Bell Hill to get Porter. Once on his mother’s couch, he didn’t want to get up again, so he asked, “Can I just stay here tonight? I have to be over to the community center again at one tomorrow, so I can cook breakfast in the morning.”
His mom met his eyes with concern in hers. “You work too hard.”
“Maybe,” Trent said. But he had no other choice. He’d like airport security better than the small-town police force, but there wasn’t an airport in Hawthorne Harbor. “But the dogs are doing well.”
He remembered he couldn’t stay. “I left the dogs in the kitchen,” he said. “I have to go feed them and let them out.” He sighed as he pushed himself to the edge of the couch. “Come on, Porty. We have to go.”
“Let him stay,” his mother said. “You’re bringing him back tomorrow anyway, and this will save you the drive.”
Trent looked back and forth between his mother and father. “You sure?”
“He’s no trouble,” his dad said. “Sleep in tomorrow. Your mom’s right. You look tired.”
Maybe that was why he’d snapped when Lauren hadn’t responded to his texts and calls. Or maybe he’d been freaked out, because after Savannah’s accident she hadn’t been able to answer his phone.
Lauren’s fine, he told himself as he stood and hugged his mom and then his dad. “All right, but tomorrow, you guys come over to the Festival, and we’ll have dinner together. Okay?”
They agreed, and he went home to find that one of the shepherds had figured out how to open cupboards and drawers. Every one they could reach was open and several plastic containers had been chewed, as had an entire box of cold cereal.
“Really, guys?” he asked as he stood there and surveyed the damage. “And just when I thought you were ready to be shipped off to a unit, Wilson.”
The pack leader whined, his nose pressed right up against the gate Trent used to keep them off his carpet.
“Let’s go out,” he said. “Then it’s time for bed.” He let the dogs into the back yard to take care of their business, filled their water and food bowls, and showered. His mind never strayed far from Lauren, and a pinch of guilt hit him in the chest.
As he lay down, all four dogs on the bed with him, he hoped sleep would claim him quickly. But it took its sweet time, forcing him to wonder if he’d gone a bit too fast with the beautiful general contractor. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready to have someone too permanent in his life.
Or maybe, just maybe, he was afraid of losing someone again. And if he didn’t have someone, then they wouldn’t get taken from him.
* * *
The next morning, Trent did sleep later than usual. Wilson woke him with a single bark, and Trent rolled out of bed to see the rain had stopped, at least for the time being. So he dressed in his running pants and a T-shirt, leashed the dogs, and took them down to the beach. In this weather, no one would mind if he took the shepherds off the leash.
He stretched while they ran around nearby, and then he called them all into line with him. With two dogs on each side, he started down the sand, hoping to run fast enough to leave his circular thoughts about Lauren behind.
That didn’t work, and when he showed up later at the community center, it was like his gaze was drawn right to her construction truck parked in the circular drive.
So he just needed to talk to her.
He pulled out his phone and sent her a message. Would love to see you today. Are you at the Festival?
Of course she was; he was standing right beside her truck.
Yep.
Can you come outside for a few minutes or are you too busy?
Lauren took several minutes to respond, but when she did, she said, Coming now.
He barely had time to spin toward the doors before she came through them, her dark hair piled high on top of her head. She wore an unfriendly look as she approached, and she stopped about ten feet away and folded her arms. “Hello.”
So he’d messed up. He knew enough about women to know that. “It’s cold out here. Want to sit in your truck?”
“No,” she said. “They have hot chocolate and coffee in the control room. Why don’t you just come in there?”
He glanced over her shoulder. “Because there are other people in there.”
She narrowed her eyes and took a step forward that felt menacing. “I don’t appreciate being told I need to check m
y phone,” she said. “Nor the fact that you acted like I was in the wrong by lying down during my lunch to rest.”
Trent nodded. “I’m sorry. I may have over-reacted.”
She paused, clearly not expecting him to apologize. “What?”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have woken you. I was….” He swallowed, wishing his throat wasn’t quite so sticky. “I panicked, okay? When my wife died, I called and texted her a bunch of times.” His eyes met hers, and that anger burned through him again. “So when I couldn’t get in touch with you, I may have freaked out a little. And then when I found you, I was….”
“Rude,” she said, her voice soft and no longer accusatory.
“Yeah. That.”
She sighed and reached into her pocket, extracting her keys a moment later. She unlocked the truck and started around to the driver’s side. She got in, and Trent did too. With the heater blowing, he didn’t think he’d lose his fingers to frostbite, but the chill between him and Lauren was still quite wintery.
“I may have over-reacted too,” she finally said. “Remember Rick? Well, you acted just like he used to yesterday. And I didn’t like it.”
“I’m sorry,” Trent said again.
“I mean, I know you’re not him. He would never apologize, for one.” She adjusted the heater vent so it was blowing on her better. “But it was still—I got angry. I’m not going back to the person who’s panicked every time I miss a text. I won’t do that. I’m busy too, and my busy is no less important than yours.”
Trent hung his head and studied his hands. “Of course it’s not.” He really had no idea what she’d been through, and he didn’t want to ever act like her ex again. “So maybe it was just a bad moment for both of us.”
“I also didn’t appreciate you walking away,” she said. “That’s not how things work in a relationship, Trent.” She touched his arm, and he felt like she’d branded him.
He looked at her, hoping how badly he felt showed in his face. “I know. I—I made a mistake, and maybe we can just erase yesterday from our memories and try again today.”
She softened and nodded before removing her hand and looking out the windshield.
“My parents are bringing Porter for dinner. Maybe, if the time is right, you can join us.”
“Let’s try for that,” she said.
The tension between them broke, and Trent sighed. The strength of his feelings surprised him. He didn’t want to walk away from Lauren, and he’d been genuinely upset when he couldn’t get a hold of her, as if she’d been in an accident the way Savannah had.
It was all very confusing, and he hoped he’d be able to figure things out as they continued to get to know one another.
“I want to confess something,” he said.
“Oh, yeah?”
“I don’t particularly like being a cop.” He met her gaze, and she looked surprised. “I worked airport security before coming back here, and I liked that better. And most of all, I want to train police dogs.”
“Then do that,” Lauren said, like making such a big career move could be so simple.
He thought of Adam, and how he couldn’t just leave the Chief high and dry, especially during the Festival of Trees. He shook his head. “Just a confession. Nothing to be done about it.” He reached for the door handle. “Let’s go get some of that hot chocolate.”
She tucked her hand into his as they walked toward the community center. “Trent, you really should do what you love. If it’s not this, then do something else.”
“I’ll think about it,” he said, because he certainly didn’t want to keep talking about it. Not right now. He wasn’t even sure why he’d told Lauren, other than he wanted to share parts of himself with her that he hadn’t with anyone else.
* * *
A week passed, and then two, and the Festival of Trees only had one more weekend before it would be taken down. And thankfully, Trent didn’t have to work it, as he was on the graveyard shift starting Monday. He’d stay on the overnight shift until Christmas Eve, which was perfect timing, really.
His relationship with Lauren seemed to be back on track, but he found himself watching her more during the quiet moments they spent together. Rain and wind prevented her from finishing his deck completely, but she said it was about eighty percent done, and the railing and final staining just needed to be finished.
He wasn’t concerned about it; after all, he knew where to find her to get the job done. Not only that, but he’d only paid for two-thirds of the deck, and she wouldn’t get the rest without finishing to his satisfaction.
And tonight, she was coming to stay with Porter. His regular nanny had seemed relieved when he’d called and said he was going to have Lauren stay overnight with Porter, so Trent felt good about the situation.
If only his heart would stop misfiring every third beat. He wasn’t sure why that was happening, only that it somehow felt very up-close and personal to have Lauren sleep in his house.
The doorbell rang, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. Then he really did leap to his feet and hurry around the couch and down the hall to open the door for her. “You could’ve just come in,” he said as he swung the door open. Then he saw her arms full of grocery bags, and he made to take some from her. “Let me help.”
She smiled at him, that gentle smile that kept him awake at night thinking about her, and moved past him and into the house.
“What is all this?” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t stay anywhere without proper reinforcements,” she said. In his kitchen, she unpacked the soda, popcorn, and red licorice before turning to him. “Is there a cupboard I can put this in?”
Trent simply stared at her for a moment past comfortable. “Uh, yes,” he said, jerking forward again. He felt like a robot whose batteries were dying, making herky jerky movements, some too close together and some too delayed. He opened the first cupboard he came to, but it was full of plates. “Uh….”
Lauren laughed and started opening drawers in the island. “What about in here?” she asked, peering down into the bread drawer. “It’s almost empty, and it’s just a couple of boxes of popcorn.”
“Sure,” he said. “You can obviously put the soda in the fridge.” The collar on his police uniform scratched, and he itched his neck. “So Porter’s already had a bath. His homework is done. I usually put him to bed before I go, but he said he wanted to see you.”
“That’s fine.” She stepped up to him and ran her hands up his arms, clasping her hands behind his neck. “Have you forgotten that I’ve put him to bed many times? Remember how you fall asleep on the couch a lot?” She smiled at him, and some of Trent’s nervous energy fled.
“I don’t know why I’m so keyed up,” he said.
She lifted up onto her toes and kissed him, and Trent took her comfort, her calmness, her safety and security as he kissed her back. The kiss was sweet, and she pulled away after only a few seconds. “Okay?” she whispered.
He nodded, noting how well she fit in his arms. “Let me get Porter.” He walked down the hall to the boy’s room, where he played with a set of cars on the floor, two dogs keeping him company.
“Porty, Lauren’s here.” He stood halfway in the room and halfway out. “You can only stay up for a little bit.”
Porter jumped to his feet and went racing past Trent, a toy car in each hand. Trent stayed in the room with the dogs, listening to his son practically yell as he said, “Heya, Lauren. Look at my cars.”
Her response wasn’t as clear, because her voice was softer. Trent took a deep breath. “I’m not crazy, right?” he asked Brutus and Tornado.
Tornado cocked his head, but Brutus got up and trotted down the hall after Porter. So Trent went back into the kitchen too, only to find Lauren moving around his house as if she’d lived there for years, chatting with Porter about the Christmas crafts they were making for their Christmas Around the World celebration.
“And we’re doing gingerbread houses next Friday,” he sai
d. “Right before the break. You should come.”
“That does sound fun,” Lauren said, not making a commitment at all.
“I have to go to work,” Trent said, and he hugged Porter before setting him up on the barstool. “Not too late. Promise me.”
“Not too late,” Porter repeated.
Lauren followed him down the hall to the front door, kissing him quickly and said, “I promise not to let him stay up too late either.”
Trent managed to force a smile to his face, and then he stepped outside to go to work. He went around back to get the dogs, who needed practice working in the dark, and slid open the door to let the two inside out. He got all four of them in the back of his truck without a problem. He sat in the cab and watched his house for a minute. Lauren was more than capable with Porter, and he was so glad she’d offered to stay with him.
“And she said she didn’t like kids,” Trent said quietly, deciding to stop stalking his own house and get over to the station. He couldn’t help thinking that this could be his future if he and Lauren stayed serious and eventually got married.
She’d be here in the mornings, the afternoons, the evenings, and overnight. And he could kiss her good-bye and good morning when he returned. As he pulled into the lot behind the station, he realized he’d just had a tiny glimpse of what his life could be like with Lauren Michaels in it permanently.
And he really liked it.
He really liked her.
“Takes more than like to make a marriage,” he said to Brutus as he got out of the truck and approached the tailgate. He paused as he sorted through the leashes, thinking that he could see himself falling in love with Lauren.
A bit of fear tripped through him, and he called the dogs to come down from the back of the truck. He’d wanted a new woman in his life, wanted a mother for Porter. He supposed he hadn’t thought through everything as thoroughly as he should have, because he’d never considered that he’d fall in love with anyone but Savannah.
Hawthorne Harbor Box Set Page 74