“But I didn’t say that you had to do it” Kaliel replied.
He turned his back on her and turned to a window.
I won’t let you go, he’d told her at Alexander's house. I'm not Max. It was clear that Kaliel wouldn’t leave her. He didn’t need to swear; He had already proved it countless times. What would have become of her without him? There would come a point when she would have to move away from Kaliel if she wanted to achieve her goal, Ali thought, and the prospect brought a lump in her throat.
“Finding the Maleficat copy is our only alternative now and we have to do it as soon as possible” said Sabrina. “Meanwhile, you Kaliel: there are many objects in the weapons room that you could teach Ali to use...” he ignored the assignment and Sabrina continued. “I'll take that as a yes. We can start looking in the Gladius Dei's Secret Archive...”
Hearing that, Kaliel turned sharply.
“It's a record of everything we know about Gladius Dei” Sabrina told him. “I looked for it because you asked me, remember? Fortunately, Mikah has a copy of this file. Maybe there we find some data, some clue that guides us to the Maleficat”.
Three days later, what began as a casual agreement became a secret and more serious plan than Ali believed. The Redentto, who were now her formal allies, met every day to inquire about the progress of their investigations. However, the location of Samael and the Maleficat remained a mystery while Darry's daily victims continued to arrive as he had promised. Each day was more frustrating than the previous one. Kaliel seemed to be the only one who agreed with Ali on that and, like her, seemed to have an alternative plan.
“Controlling the sword would allow you to keep your enemies at a distance, which would increase your chances of leaving unharmed...” Kaliel said with a sigh of frustration that afternoon while practicing in the weapons room.
“Anyway, there's still time to try: Sabrina doesn’t have even the slightest idea where to find the copy of the Maleficat” Ali said with the same discouragement.
“And she won’t” Kaliel said with a grimace of displeasure. “If only you could control your gift to invoke fire we’d have left here a long time ago...”
“What?” Ali was shocked. “Why do you say she won’t!?”
“That kind of information isn’t in the books... You have to go and ask the right people...”
Kaliel dropped his sword on a table and leaned on it with his arms folded across his chest.
“And then why are we wasting time here? Darry is still sending victims and we’re not doing anything!”
“Do you care now?” Kaliel raised an eyebrow to reinforce the irony that exuded his voice.
“Not as much as my father but yes... Yes! And what about you?” Ali questioned, standing in front of him. “What is your mission as a Redentto then?”
That word was like an insult that made Kaliel close his eyes and think twice before answering.
“My mission was to protect you and nothing else” he said. But he was aware that this was true: that was his mission although he didn’t know if it still was. Now he was there because he wanted to.
“So, what is your plan? Lock me up in a tower while you save the world alone?”
Ali was being sarcastic but Kaliel smiled, apparently amused.
“I guess it's hard to get rid of one’s nature, especially when you're trying to get it back...”
Ali smiled just because he did it and took a few moments to understand.
“You were a guardian angel? Did you protect people?”
“Yes” he admitted, expressionless.
It didn’t seem like a comforting memory. It was clear why, Ali thought, considering the tragic ending his story had with Charlotte: both had fallen into perdition. She felt again that absurd discomfort capable of ruining the whole day. Was it jealousy? How could anyone feel envious of causing the fall of an angel? She knew she was losing her sanity but still she didn’t want to keep digging in her own wound. She needed the truth, the whole truth now, even if she couldn’t bear it. She had to make it bleed all at once and forget about it.
“You were Charlotte's angel...” he murmured.
Kaliel just nodded in silence and his face changed completely. His gaze, fixed on the floor, was now lost.
“But you don’t remember anything...” Ali tried it again.
“Who said I don’t remember?” He turned sharply.
That surprised Ali. According to what Sabrina had told her, he didn’t remember the reason for his fall. He himself had told her he didn’t remember. Ali didn’t have the courage to ask but it was he who continued to speak.
“Usually people can’t see spiritual entities” he said. “She could because she inherited her father's supernatural gifts. Her mother was the only one who couldn’t see me but she trusted my existence thanks to Alexander. Unfortunately, she died when Charlotte was seven years old and since then she has clung too much to me... I tried not to intervene in her life, to stay out of the way. I only watched her from some corner while she played with other girls. Usually I had to keep the demons at bay who were constantly looking for her because of those gifts”. Kaliel paused and blew out his breath. “But it didn’t work. Soon she lost interest in other people and, although I tried to avoid talking too much, she ended up winning.
«The life of Charlotte, like that of any girl in her position at the time, didn’t go much beyond learning to embroider and take walks while waiting for a young man to marry her. In fact, many men asked for her hand but she wasn’t interested in marrying nor her father in forcing her. She just wanted me to teach her how to read and I did...” A brief smile escaped the corners of his lips. “So we read and walked and talked for years. I told her stories about all the things that had happened since the world was born until...” Kaliel gestured with his hand. He didn’t want to or couldn’t continue the story. “You know what happened. The point is that I remember it” he said with a fake smile.
Kaliel looked back at Ali, who couldn’t help noticing that shudder deep in his eyes. She put her hand to her own chest, trying to contain that imaginary wound that threatened to bleed her soul and swallowed before asking:
“And how was it?” But he watched her confused, forcing her to be heartbreakingly precise: “How was losing her?”
This time he didn’t look away.
“It was worse than death” he said. “I knew she was going to die: that is the fate of mortals. But it only makes sense when they have lived and Charlotte was a light that would go out too soon. She contracted the plague when she was fifteen years old. Not all the medicine or the magic of this world could cure it. And then I thought about the magic of my world. I wasn’t there when everything happened. I had gone to ask Gabriel's intercession before the Throne when she did it...” Kaliel's voice broke and he could only continue in a whisper. His eyes were wide open, as if he were seeing everything again. “When the person you are assigned dies, you feel like the spiritual bond, that connection that links you together, breaks down. I was in front of Gabriel when I felt it. I had never felt anything like it. It wasn’t the connection disappearing... It was as if someone was tearing me inside.
«I left everything and went immediately to her house... And there she was, with a dagger in her hand and a pentagram of her blood on the ground at her feet. I thought that if I never died then you would never stop being mine, she told me. She dropped into my arms as she became immortal and I understood what she had done. You just lost your soul, Charlotte. They will tear me away from you forever; it was the last thing I told her before they took me. And I could see in her eyes as they pushed me away from her side that what she felt was so big, so seizing, that she was able to exchange everything, her soul, her salvation, Paradise... For me? I knew it was my fault, for allowing her to go so far without realizing it, and that will never stop tormenting me.
Ali couldn’t look at him. A part of her wanted to run, hide and cry for the rest of the day; the other one wanted to find out how much more lacerat
ing the truth could be.
“Did you love her?”
“No” he said very sure. “Not like her to me. I loved her as the heavenly beings love Creation and the humans they watch over...” Suddenly he sounded disturbed. “I could never understand Charlotte, or forgive her... Neither forgive myself!” Kaliel turned to Ali, almost pleading: “Tell me, is it that humans can get to feel something so big that forces them to give up everything just like that?”
Yes. She’d have liked to say yes. Tell him that she understood Charlotte and that, although what she was feeling at that moment was surely not comparable to that girl's feeling, it was enough to know that there were no fewer things she could give up if only he showed her an apex of hope. She was also prey to that blinding feeling.
“I... I was never in love but I think so. I heard that...” managed to say Ali.
Kaliel came closer, giving her full attention, forcing her to look him in the eyes.
“And how is it? How do you know it’s that kind of love?”
“They say it consumes you inside” said Ali. “Nothing makes you happier than being next to that person and the possibility of losing them is so painful that you don’t even dare to imagine it. Then you know you would do anything to avoid it. You are no longer the owner of your destiny or your will. They say you can love so much that it hurts but even then you can’t and don’t want to escape...”
Somehow she knew that was the way it was.
“So you've never felt something like this before?” She asked.
Kaliel didn’t answer. Ali thought he was paralyzed, overwhelmed, by the sad revelation that what he had felt for Charlotte was what had lost him even though he didn’t remember it. However, his words were different.
“I can’t afford it”.
“You can’t avoid it…”
Kaliel's eyes traveled through her so intensely, so decidedly, that she regretted saying that, even without understanding the reason.
“Yes, I will” he said.
“I tried too but even if it hurts you can’t stop it...”
Ali's eyes were barely wet. Her body was stiff from the effort she had to make not to cry. He felt the pain in her expression and his fingers caressed her face just in time to wipe away a tear.
“Why would someone want to feel something like that?”
“Without love, nothing makes sense” she said. “You shouldn’t keep trying to forget Charlotte either...”
More tears escaped her eyes and she wiped them away with fury, as if she had been betrayed. Charlotte? Kaliel realized then what her tears said. He wanted to wipe them all with his lips and kiss her skin. Kiss her and shake her and never let her go...
“I'll try” he said coldly and got out of there.
He wouldn’t let the story to be repeated with Alanis.
That night when Alanis returned to the tower Kaliel wasn’t there. He didn’t appear all night. Would he have realized her feelings and from now on would try to avoid her? Would the law of ice also apply to her? She wouldn’t allow it. She would move to another room the next day and she would be the one to avoid him. She wasn’t like Charlotte and didn’t need his rejection to avoid selling her soul so stupidly.
The touch of a hand woke her in the middle of the night. She had fallen asleep somewhere between anger and sadness. She opened her eyes and instinctively directed them towards the window but Kaliel wasn’t there. Neither was the black figure standing by her bed.
“Kalo?” She was surprised to recognize him. “What are you doing here?”
The angel barely beat his black wings in greeting and extended a hand.
“Let's go. He wants to talk with you”.
Alanis followed him without hesitation. They passed through corridors and down stairs until they were in the main nave of the cathedral, where Kalo went to a side door that Ali didn’t remember seeing before. The rustic wooden door opened into an austere office where an old man with a gray and unkempt beard waited with his face dejected.
Kalo gave Ali a warning look. Then he plucked a black feather and handed it to her.
“Don’t lose it. It's my signature” he winked.
She was slow to understand and when she did, she turned abruptly to the old man.
“Patrick!?”
The old man looked up as if he had just noticed their presence.
“You are the girl…” That sudden conviction seemed to astonish him in some way. “You look like her...”
He meant her mother. But she wasn’t there for her mother.
“They took my father”.
“Who?” The old man fixed a raven's eye on Alanis. He was testing her.
“The Gladius Dei” she pretended to be sure. “They took Lucien too, did they?”
Patrick nodded.
“I tried to talk to my father. He’s not in the world of the dead... but we couldn’t find him in the world of the living”.
The old man closed his eyes as if that news had hit him in the stomach.
“The Altar...” he muttered rather to himself.
“But The Altar is in this world. It’s in France”.
“The Gladius Dei knows how to disappear” he teased with voice from beyond the grave. “All the walls, the floor, the ceilings... All covered with onyx mirrors. No natural or supernatural eye can penetrate it...”
Alanis began to feel dizzy. How had she not thought about it? That was a Gladius Dei tool that even her father had used in her own house, as Kaliel had explained to her.
“But you know how to get there” insinuated Ali.
“No”.
There was a note of panic hidden in his voice. Patrick was lying.
“Why did you call me if you're not going to help me find my father? “ Ali snapped.
“To tell you what he would have wanted to tell you: don’t look for him”.
Ali snorted, outraged.
“You don’t imagine, girl, the horrors that are hidden under The Altar” Patrick continued. “Johnny did everything he did to protect you from Gladius Dei. I assure you that the last thing he wants is for you to find him...”
“I don’t care! I can’t abandon him! He’s my father!” Alanis yelled, feeling the fire that ran through her veins to the palm of her hands.
“No, he's not...” Patrick said calmly.
Alanis's breathing stopped and, for a moment, it seemed her heart did the same.
“He did everything for your mother, for Evangeline” said Patrick. “Because he loved her in spite of everything and she asked him this before she died”.
“Lies!”
Alanis fell back to the point of falling and Kalo's arms held her.
“Yes, girl!” This time Patrick seemed furious. “That's why you and Lucien are the same! If the Gladius Dei caught you...” Patrick's voice broke as he brought trembling hands to his head. Then he looked back at Ali as if surprised that she was still there. “Johnny is not your father. Forget him!”
The last shout was like a force that drove her and Kalo out of the room. The door slammed and the walls slid around her as if they had been sucked into a black hole. Suddenly, she found herself alone in front of the cathedral fountain. It was like waking up from a dream only that the black feather was still in her hands. It's my signature, Kalo had said. You’ll recognize my signature. Everything had been real. She had been with the real Patrick, had confirmed that her father had been kidnapped by Gladius Dei and was in The Altar. And she had also discovered that he wasn’t her father. But then, who was her real father?
The idea that came to her mind caused the world to give way under her feet.
25
Fragility
“What are you doing here?” Kaliel said as his fingers slid down Ali's bare arm, giving her a chill.
She was still astonished looking at the feather she held in her hand. Then she handed it to Kaliel, knowing that he would understand.
“It's from Kalo... Did he answer you?” He was surprised.
“Ye
s... And Patrick said...” Ali's lips trembled and she couldn’t continue.
“That your father wasn’t really your father...” Kaliel finished the sentence.
He had seen it all when he touched the feather. That feather wasn’t just a sign that it was an authentic message from Kalo... Had Kalo left it because he knew Kaliel would see it?
Ali nodded unable to speak and her eyes filled with tears. In some way, that fragility caused him pain. He didn’t dare, however, to hold her in his arms, although he wanted it as much as ever, so he moved closer to her, combing her hair and waiting for her to do so. But Ali pulled away from him in horror. For a second, Kaliel felt a painful emptiness in his chest until he realized that he was not the cause. Ali began to breathe agitatedly while looking at her hands as if they were soaked in blood.
“Darry said that I was like my mother...” she said and gave him a look of absolute panic. “What if Darry is my father?”
“That's absurd!” Kaliel replied to reassure her.
But there was nothing absurd. If she were half vampire, that would explain her gifts.
Suddenly, the pain in his chest became unbearable. It tore him to think that Ali had something to do with these despicable creatures. For a moment he cursed his condition as much as hers. He wished he could be a simple mortal and that she was a mortal too. But no. He was everyday more sure that there was demonic blood in her and yet he couldn’t help feeling at her feet. He was the shame of the Heavens.
“Whatever!” Ali yelled. Anger burned in her eyes. “He’s my father and I won’t let him take my place! It’s me who has always wanted the Gladius Dei!”
She hurried towards him, determined as if she was going to hit him but only passed by his side.
“I'll leave tonight!” She said.
Kaliel stopped her by the arm making her turn.
“No!” It was all he managed to say.
“I'll go with you or without you but I won’t wait any longer!” She snapped furiously and she got out of his grip.
Dark Temptation Page 20