by Wilder, L.
“Definitely. He means the world to me. When Hallie passed, he never left my side … I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”
“So, you two have been together for a while?”
“What? Wait … No!” She shook her head feverishly. “Jason and I aren’t together. He’s just my friend … a really good friend, but that’s it. Nothing more. Besides, I wouldn’t have invited you to dinner if …”
Her voice trailed off, and her cheeks suddenly turned a bright shade of pink. She’d just revealed something to me, but it took me a moment to realize exactly what she was saying. Damn. The dinner was more than just a way for her to thank me—much, much more. Feeling relieved by her confession, I replied, “Good to know.”
CHAPTER 8
Alex
Sitting across the table from me, Shadow looked like every fantasy I’d ever had wrapped into one incredibly sexy package, and even though I tried my best to hide it, he was making me a nervous wreck. I knew a man as good-looking as Shadow could have any woman he wanted, and even though I tried to tell myself that he was just a man—no different than any other—I knew that wasn’t true. Shadow was a strong, enigmatic force with a ferocity that couldn’t be denied, and at times, he could be more than a little intimidating. That alone should’ve had me running for the hills, yet it was the last thing I wanted to do. Instead, I longed to touch him, feel his strength beneath my fingertips, and completely submit to my attraction to him. But there was something else I wanted even more. I wanted to get to know the man behind the walls he kept so guarded.
Hoping to gain a little insight to the man behind the leather, I said, “I’ve noticed that you stop by the bookstore quite often. Have you always been a big reader?”
“I guess you could say that.” He glanced up at me as he continued, “I picked it up when I was younger. And you?”
“It came later for me. I guess you could say that Hallie rubbed off on me.” I giggled. “She had me read a few of her favorites, and after that, I was hooked. There’s nothing like the escape you can get from a good book.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“What is your favorite genre?”
“When I was younger, I was all about mystery and suspense, but now, I’ll read just about anything.” He took another bite of his lasagna before saying, “I like to get different perspectives on things. You know?”
Remembering the book he’d left on the table, I answered, “I do. I totally get it.”
“Who knows? I might actually learn something from some crazy author one day.”
“You never know.” Hoping I wasn’t crossing some imaginary line, I asked, “When did you join Satan’s Fury?”
“A while ago … right after I got back from Afghanistan.”
“Afghanistan? I didn’t realize you had been in the military.”
“It was a long time ago.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if his time at war was the reason why he’d been reading a book about PTSD. I wanted to ask him more about it, but it was clear from his tone that he didn’t want to talk about it. Deciding to go another route, I asked, “What about your family? Are you close?”
“My parents and sister died in a house fire when I was ten.”
“Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been for you.”
“It was tough, but I got through it.” His tone was lightened as he said, “My brothers are my family now.”
“I’m glad you found them, especially after all you’ve been through.”
“One of the best things that ever happened to me.” He took another bite of his garlic bread before turning his focus back to me. “What about you? You close to your folks?”
“Hmm … not exactly.” I was walking on shaky ground. I didn’t want to lie straight out so I decided to be vague with my response. “My mother died a few years ago, and since then, my father and I have kind of lost touch.”
“Sounds like you’ve had a pretty rough go of it, too.”
“I guess we all have our crosses to bear, but like you, I got through it.”
“Yeah, I’d say you were doing pretty well.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” I chuckled. “It’s not always easy being on your own.”
“But, you’ve got Jason,” he teased.
I shook my head and smiled. “Yes. I do have him, and his sister, Daphne.”
Since we’d both finished eating, I stood up and took our plates over to the sink. I was just about to turn around when he came up behind me with the rest of the dishes. He set them down on the counter next to me and said, “You’re a good cook.”
“Not really.” I shrugged. “I was just following Hallie’s recipe. She was the cook.”
“Either way, dinner was delicious.”
I looked over at him and smiled. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Can I get you some more tea or maybe a beer?”
He ran his hand over his stomach and almost chuckled. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
As soon as I finished putting the leftovers in the fridge, I started to feel anxious. I hadn’t had many experiences with men. In fact, I’d only been intimate with two men in my life, both of which were a long time ago—too long ago. I’d all but forgotten how to show a man that I was interested in him, which only made matters worse because I was definitely interested in Shadow. While I knew it was impossible for me to have a real relationship with him, I still found myself drawn to him. I’d been attracted to him since the first day he’d walked into my bookstore, and here he was, just a few feet away. I finally had my chance to get closer to him, and I couldn’t just let the opportunity pass me by. “Would you like to sit and talk for a while?”
“It’s getting late. I should probably get going.”
His answer was short and to the point, making me feel rejected. “Oh … Okay.”
Apparently, I hadn’t done a good job of hiding my disappointment, because the next thing I knew, he was standing right in front of me with an intense expression on his face. His voice was low and strained as he whispered, “Alex.”
“Umm-hmm?”
“I want to stay. Hell, there’s nothing in this world I’d rather do, but … I just can’t do it.”
“But why? Is something wrong?”
“No, everything’s good. That’s the problem.” His eyes locked on mine, and I felt a chill run down my spine as he continued, “I’m broken in ways you can’t begin to imagine, Alex. You can do so much better than—”
Before he could finish his sentence, I placed the palms of my hands on his chest as I lifted up on my tiptoes and pressed my mouth against his, silencing him with a kiss. I felt his muscles stiffen and feared he’d push me away, but he didn’t. Instead, he kissed me back. His lips were soft and warm, but his entire body was rigid and tense, letting me know that he was still having doubts. I’d heard what he was trying to say. I knew he was worried about being good enough, but I wanted him to forget about his concerns and become lost in the moment with me. I got my wish when I provoked him by slowly brushing my tongue against his bottom lip. His hand dove into my hair, his fingers clutching the nape of my neck as he pulled me closer. A low, needful groan vibrated through his chest as he delved deeper into my mouth, and it was all I could to do keep my footing as a wave of indescribable desire crashed over me. I’d never wanted a man like I wanted Shadow at that moment. I thought he was feeling the same, but just as I inched closer, he took a step back and pulled himself free from our embrace.
With his jaw clenched, he looked down at me and growled, “Baby, you really shouldn’t have done that.”
“What? Why?”
“Now that I’ve had a taste of you, all I’m gonna want is more … much, much … more.”
Feeling brazen, I looked him straight in the eye and replied, “And what if I want more, too?”
Before I’d even had a chance to blink, he had me pinned against the wall, towering over me like a starved animal about to devour its last me
al. Damn, he looked so unbelievably sexy as he hovered over me, and every single nerve in my body came alive as I watched him slowly lower his mouth to mine. The man who’d invaded my dreams for months kissed me long and hard, making me lose all my self-control. I let my fingers trail along the curves of his ever-so-defined chest and relished in the sensation of having him so close. Shadow felt perfect, like his body was made just for me, and I wanted to explore every inch of him. I was so caught up in the moment, I wasn’t even thinking as my hand continued down towards his abdomen. When the tips of my fingers reached his belt buckle, he reached for my hand, stopping me dead in my tracks.
Shadow lowered his mouth to my ear and whispered, “You sure about this?”
“Absolutely.”
With that, he kissed me again, and from the moment his lips touched mine, I knew he was done holding back. Like a man possessed, his hands became rough and impatient as they roamed over my body, and any doubts I’d had about my lack of experience disappeared. He took both my breasts in his hands, caressing each one through the thin fabric of my t-shirt. The way Shadow touched me made me feel so wanted, so utterly desirable—I couldn’t get enough.
The warmth of his breath caressed my skin as he spoke in a hushed tone, “You have no idea what you do to me.”
My heart raced as his hand inched its way down my stomach and slipped under the waistband of my shorts. When his fingers drifted lower, in between my legs, that was it. My entire body shivered with anticipation as the tips of his fingers grazed the lining of my lace panties. I loved the feeling of his hands on my body. Every single touch was like adding fuel to the fire, making me yearn for more. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, relishing the sensation as he moved his fingers in slow, methodical circles against my clit. As soon as I started to feel that familiar tingling in my abdomen, he eased my panties to the side, and I had no doubt that he’d find I was already wet as his fingers easily slid deep inside me. While gently caressing my g-spot, he began teasing my clit with the pad of his thumb, using just the right amount of pressure to make me come unglued. It felt incredible, better than I’d ever dreamed possible, and after just a few moments, I felt my orgasm start to take hold. His fingers curled deep inside me, and when he increased the pressure on my clit, I was done. With a satisfied moan, my head fell back and my entire body started to tremble uncontrollably. My climax surged through me with a powerful force, causing me to mumble over and over, “Oh, God! Oh, God!”
I was practically floating, but my blissful haze quickly turned to disappointment as I felt him remove his hand from my panties. My eyes met his, and I nearly came again when he said, “I want to take this slow … but I can’t. Not this time. Right now, I need to be inside you. I need to fuck you, long and hard. You okay with that?”
“I’m more than okay with that. I want you, Shadow.” My hands dropped to his waist, and in a frenzy, I started to unbuckle his belt.
He reached into his back pocket and took out a condom. While I watched him ease it down over his long, thick shaft, I quickly removed my shorts and panties. Once he was done, he lifted me up and pressed my back against the living room wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist, grazing his cock against my center. I simply couldn’t wait a moment longer to have him inside me, so I reached between us and took his shaft in my hand, positioning him at my entrance. He lifted me up, then thrust deep inside of me in one fell swoop, and I gasped at the invasion. Concern flashed through his eyes as he asked, “You okay?”
I nodded as I mumbled, “Um-hmm. Please, don’t stop.”
He gave me a moment to adjust to him before he placed his hands on my hips and started to move, slow and easy. I tightened my legs around him, nudging him close to take him deeper. After Shadow took the cue, he pulled back and plunged into me, again and again, and it didn’t take him long to find that spot which made every nerve tingle. Consumed with lust and emotion, I rocked my hips in time with his, meeting his every thrust, and with each second that passed, I was getting closer to the edge. He continued driving into me with the relentless rhythm he’d set, and it wasn’t long before I felt my climax building, burning through my veins.
A deep groan resonated through his chest as he quickened his pace, and that was all it took. My release crashed over me, causing my entire body to tense around him. While still planted deep inside of me, he started towards the corner of the room and lowered me onto the sofa. Once I was settled, he reached for the hem of my t-shirt and pulled it—along with my bra, over my head and tossed them both to the floor. He looked down at me, his eyes slowly roaming over every inch of my body, and the heat of his stare caused goosebumps to prickle against my skin. A warmth washed over me when he whispered, “So fucking beautiful.”
His phone started to ring, but he ignored it as he lowered his mouth to my shoulder. He trailed kisses past my collarbone down to my breasts, and heavy breaths and low moans filled the room as he took my nipple into his mouth. While he continued to nip and suck along the curves of my breast, he moved inside of me with slow, shallow thrusts. My God, he felt so good. His mouth. His hands. His cock. I was already in complete sensory overload when he started to increase his pace. His movements suddenly became rough and demanding as he took me deeper and harder.
“Yes!” I cried as I tightened around him. I was getting close, and when Shadow’s body grew taut, there was no doubt that he was as well. We were completely in sync as he slid his hands underneath my backside to lift me higher, and as he angled his position, he instantly found the spot he knew would send us both over the edge. Seconds later, my orgasm ripped through me, and I heard him let out a gratified groan, as he thrust into me one last time, giving in to his own release.
After several moments, he slowly eased off me and moved down on the sofa next to me, pulling me over to him. I let my head fall back on his chest as I listened to the sounds of our erratic breathing slow into a steady rhythm. His phone chimed for the second time, and I felt his muscles tense beneath me. The longer he sat there holding me, the more anxious he became. Something about that missed message was obviously worrying him, so I asked, “Do you need to get that?”
“Yeah, I do,” he grumbled. I watched as he reached into his jeans and pulled it out of his back pocket. When he looked down at the screen, an aggravated expression crossed his face. “Damn.”
“What? Is something wrong?”
He quickly stood and tossed his condom in the trash before pulling up his jeans. “I’m sorry, but something’s come up and I’ve gotta go.”
“Okay,” I muttered as I watched him buckle his belt.
Sensing something was wrong, he asked, “You okay?”
I couldn’t tell him the truth without sounding completely pathetic, so I lied. “Yes, I’m good.”
“Alex.”
“I guess I’m just a little disappointed that you’re leaving so soon.”
He leaned down and placed his hands on the back of the sofa as he hovered over me. “Just to be clear, I wouldn’t be leaving now if I had a choice in the matter. My brothers need me, and I’ve gotta go.”
“Okay. I understand.” When he cocked his eyebrow, I smiled and said, “Really, I do.”
He kissed me once more, then stood up and said, “I tried to warn you about me.”
“You did?” I teased.
“I did. You should’ve listened.”
“Maybe so, but I’ll take my chances.”
CHAPTER 9
Shadow
Even after a twenty-minute bike ride back to the clubhouse, I could still smell her on my skin, making it impossible not to remember how good she felt in my arms. I never dreamed anyone could get to me the way she did. I’d been void of feeling for so long, I didn’t know I was even capable of letting someone in. I’d spent years guarding myself from all the pain and heartache that came from getting too close, but without even trying, this woman had torn down my walls and shown me a world I’d forgotten even existed. They were feelings I thought I
didn’t need—thought I didn’t deserve—but now that I’d gotten a taste of just how incredibly good it could be, I only wanted more. As much as I hated to admit it, Alex had become an addiction, and I was already jonesing for another hit. I’d still be at her place satisfying that craving if I hadn’t gotten the call from Blaze telling me that two more of our dealers had been found dead.
By the time I made it inside the clubhouse, all the guys were already gathered for church. I made my way over to my place at the table, and once everyone else was settled, Gus called us to attention. “B.W. and Michaels were taken out tonight. Killed in their own fucking homes before they even had a chance to get on the streets. I’m done with this shit. I want to know who the fuck is responsible, and I want their fucking head on a goddamn platter.”
Riggs turned to him and said, “I was about to track down Jasper’s cousin, Milton. Got his address and linked into his phone.”
“Good. I want eyes on him tonight.” He paused before continuing, “I don’t want prospects on this. It’s too fucking important. Blaze and Murphy take the first shift, then you and Shadow can take over in the morning.”
“Understood. Once we have Jasper, maybe we can get it out of him who he’s working with.”
“Oh, we’ll get it out of him. I’ll make damn well sure of it,” I assured him.
Moose leaned forward and added, “I have no doubt that you will, but in the meantime, we gotta do something more to protect our guys. The rotations clearly aren’t enough. These motherfuckers are going into their homes … with their wives and children. That’s fucking bullshit. We need to bring them in for a lockdown before anyone else ends up getting hurt.”
“Agreed. We’ll have them all come in, and they don’t go anywhere without one of the brothers by their side.”
Moose nodded. “I’ll make the call and have them all here by morning.”
Gus’s face grew grim as he said, “As you all know, we’re still trying to get a handle on everything that went down with the Culebras. Riggs has been busting his ass to find intel on them, but even with everything he’s been able to uncover, there’s still so much we just don’t know yet.”