by Wilder, L.
“Nothing. I’ve got this.” Then, he offered me a large glass of water and two Tylenol. “Just make yourself comfortable.”
After the way he’d put me in my place at the bar, it was hard to believe that he could be so sweet. It was like the old Murphy had returned, and while I couldn’t have been more pleased that he was back, I found myself wondering why he’d come to the bar to find me, especially after the way I’d talked to him on the phone. It didn’t make sense. He should’ve been completely turned off by what he called my “little tantrum,” but there he stood, preparing to cook breakfast for me. Either he really was interested in me or he simply felt sorry for me. I was curious to know the answer. “Can I ask you something?”
“Let’s get some food in you, and then you can ask me whatever you want.”
“And you’ll give me an honest answer?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Okay.” After I took the Tylenol he’d given me, I went over to the kitchen table and sat down. As I sat there watching him with his broad shoulders, defined, muscular chest, and unruly dirty-blond hair, I thought how odd it was that such a gruff biker was actually cooking bacon and eggs for me. I couldn’t have imagined anything sexier, and it was difficult to resist the temptation of going over to be close to him. Thankfully, my growling stomach distracted me, and as soon as he was done, I helped him carry everything over to the table. Once we’d made our plates, I dug in, and it was absolute heaven. With my mouth still full, I mumbled, “Oh, my. This is incredible.”
“Yeah. I gotta admit, it’s not half bad,” he replied proudly. I took another bite, and it wasn’t long before I’d cleared my plate. When Murphy noticed, a big smile crossed his face. “So, I take it you were hungrier than you thought?”
“Apparently so, or maybe it’s just due to the fact that it was so good. You really outdid yourself.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” When he got up to put our dishes in the sink, he asked, “How are you feeling?”
Then I remembered how I’d behaved earlier. “Mentally or physically?”
He chuckled. “Let’s start with physically.”
“Well, there, I’m doing okay.”
“You think you’re sobering up?”
I shrugged. “I guess so. The room has stopped spinning.”
“Good.” He brought me another bottle of water and placed it on the table in front of me. “You need to keep hydrated.”
“Okay.” After I took a sip of water, I told him, “By the way, it was really sweet of you to help that homeless guy like you did.”
“He would’ve done the same for me.”
“So, you know him?”
“He’s a vet … One of our brothers, Sam, was in a similar situation a few years back, so we try to keep an eye out for him when we can.”
“He’s lucky to have you do that for him. Who knows what would’ve happened if you hadn’t come by there when you did.”
“Good thing we don’t have to find out.”
With my buzz quickly wearing off, I was starting to feel cold and suddenly wished I was wearing something more than my little black dress. I ran my hands over my bare arms, then crossed my arms, hugging myself for warmth. Murphy noticed that I was cold and said, “Come into the living room and I’ll start a fire.”
“Okay.” I grabbed my bottle of water and followed him, then I sat down on the sofa and watched as he lit the gas logs. Once the fire was rolling, he pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and offered it to me. Wrapping it around me, I smiled and said, “Thank you, Murphy.”
He sat down next to me and quietly watched the fire as it danced between the logs. I could tell by his expression that there was something on his mind, something that brought tension into the room. I could feel it radiating from him, and the longer we sat there without talking, the worse it became. I was beginning to wonder if he was ready for me to leave when he finally said, “You had a question you wanted to ask.”
“Yeah. I guess I did.” He turned to face me and waited silently for me to speak. It was much easier to ask intimate questions when you’ve been drinking with the courage of alcohol coursing through your veins. Now that I was sober, I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to say the words. After several awkward moments, I finally wimped out and said, “It’s really nothing. Just forget I mentioned it.”
“Surely, you aren’t about to chicken out on me.”
“Maybe.”
“Ask the question, Riley.”
“Well, one question might lead into another, so be warned.” He nodded, so I let out a deep breath and continued, “On that morning when you came out to the farm, why did you make me think you were going to see me again?”
“Because at the time, I intended to see you,” he answered flatly.
“But then you changed your mind?”
His blue eyes grew intense as he answered, “Yes, but I had my reasons … reasons you might not understand.”
“Okay, so why don’t you explain it to me,” I pushed.
“It’s complicated, but all in all, I did it for you.”
“You did it for me?”
“I was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?”
“From me.”
Of all things, I wasn’t expecting that to be his answer. He hadn’t tried to hide who he was. I’d seen his club’s name embroidered on the back of his leather jacket. I was there when he came to buy illegal weapons from my father. I knew what I was getting into when he showed up at the farm that morning, and I never once thought I was in any kind of danger. Instead, I felt safe and free to be myself. I loved the time I’d spent with him and longed for more. Hearing that he felt the need to protect me from the man I’d grown so fond of didn’t make sense to me, and I wasn’t so sure that he truly believed what he was saying either. “If you honestly believed you were protecting me by staying away, then why did you come to the bar looking for me tonight?”
His eyes narrowed as he barked, “You called Gus’s phone, Riley.”
“And?”
“And that was a bigger deal than you realize, and a topic we will discuss again later.”
“Okay, but you still haven’t answered my question.”
“I needed to make sure you were okay.”
He was talking in circles, and I was more confused than ever. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand.”
“We have our obvious differences. That, in itself, is enough, but there is so much more than that.” The confidence in his voice was replaced with unease as he said, “I’m not one of those guys who believes in happy endings. I don’t believe in soul mates or love everlasting. In fact, I don’t believe in love in any regard.”
“Love? Who said anything about love?” I scoffed.
“After that phone call, you’re gonna try and tell me that the thought of us hasn’t crossed your mind … You haven’t wondered if there could be something more between us? You never once wondered if we could fall in love and have a happily ever after?”
“Touché.” Trying my best not to lose my momentum, I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him and said, “So, let me make sure I got this straight … You think love is just some word—nothing more, nothing less—and because of this particular belief of yours, you decided to blow me off.”
“I didn’t blow you off, Riley,” he argued. “But yes. You deserve someone who can give you more … someone who can love you.”
“How do you know what I deserve? You barely know me.” I shifted in my seat so I was facing him. “I could be the devil incarnate for all you know.”
“I know, Riley.”
“How do you know, Murphy?” I pushed.
“I can feel it,” he answered nonchalantly.
“So, you can feel that I’m a person who deserves someone who can give me more, but you’re incapable of feeling love?”
“Never said I was incapable of feeling love. I said I don’t believe in it.”
“But how can
you feel something you don’t believe in?” When his back stiffened, I knew I’d struck a nerve, but I didn’t let that stop me from saying, “You know that doesn’t make any sense, right?”
“Maybe not, but it is what it is.”
“Wow. Somebody did a real number on you.” He didn’t verbally confirm my suspicions, but I could tell by the expression on his face that I was right. Someone had betrayed him, and the pain they caused was still there, tugging at him and refusing to be forgotten. I wanted to show him that he was wrong about love, but first, he’d have to trust me enough to let me in. I placed my hand on his thigh and said, “In case you don’t know, not all relationships end bad.”
“I’ve never known one that didn’t.”
“I find that hard to believe. There has to be someone you know who has a good relationship … maybe a friend or one of your brothers.” His eyes skirted upward, and I instantly knew that I was right. Even though he’d never admit it, it was clear he knew someone with a good relationship. I gave him a second to think about it before I continued, “My parents fell in love when they were just teenagers, and they were still madly in love thirty-five years later.”
“And yet, he’s alone now with a broken heart, selling illegal guns to keep from losing everything else he cared about.”
He was clearly set on his beliefs and I was probably wasting my breath, but I told him, “True, but he had something really great for a long time. And I bet if you asked him, he’d do it all over again.”
“A glutton for punishment,” he mumbled in almost a whisper.
“Maybe so, but he wasn’t scared to try. Can you say the same about yourself?”
“I’m not scared, Riley.”
“Okay, then. Prove it.” I inched a little closer to him, and then I did something I never dreamed I would do. I looked into those beautiful, baby blues and with more confidence than I actually felt, I said, “Take a chance right now … and kiss me.”
I could see the wheels turning in his head as he considered my challenge, and for several moments, he didn’t move. He just sat there with his eyes locked on mine, fighting an inner battle that might never have a victor. Tension coiled around us, making me want to take matters into my own hands. I wanted to know if his touch was anything like I’d imagined in my dreams, but I stayed planted in my spot. Like he’d done earlier, I’d placed the ball in his court, and it was his turn to make the move.
I was beginning to think he was going to pass on the chance to prove me wrong, when he brought his hands up to my face and slowly brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. He slowly leaned closer, and a warmth rushed over me when I felt a slight tickle from his beard against my jaw. He was so close, just inches away, but he didn’t kiss me. Not yet. Instead, he hovered over me, lingering in that moment of anticipation and lust. When neither of us could stand it a moment longer, he lowered his lips to mine. My entire body tingled as he delved deeper into my mouth. I quickly realized that this was no simple kiss, no simple peck on the lips. There was no working up to something more. From the moment his mouth touched mine, it was a kiss full of passion and need that sent me spiraling into a storm of absolute ecstasy. Murphy’s arm slipped around my waist, pulling me over to him as he continued to claim me with his mouth. I’d never felt anything so intense, so full of desire, as we clung to each other like we were taking in our last breath. I suddenly realized that I wanted more, much more, and the thought terrified me. Doubts rushed over me, and I found myself pulling back. And not just a little. I pulled back all the way, and without even realizing what I was doing, I’d slipped out of his grasp and down onto the floor. Mortified by my actions, I dropped my head into my hands and groaned.
With a surprised look on his face, he looked down at me and asked, “You wanna tell me why you’re down there instead of up here with me?”
“I just need a moment.”
“Okay? You wanna tell me why you need a moment?”
“No, not really.”
“You having regrets already?” He teased.
“Um … no. Not yet, but I’m afraid I might if you keep kissing me like that.”
Clearly amused by my quandary, he asked, “Is there something wrong with the way I kiss?”
“No. I love the way you kiss.” I looked up at him as I continued, “That’s the problem.”
“And why is that a problem?”
“I know it’s a little late for me to be telling you this now, but there’s a good chance I could suck at this. Unlike you, I haven’t had a lot of experience with sex.”
Using my own words against me, he teased me. “Sex? Who said anything about sex?”
“I’m just saying if we get to that point, and I really hope that we do, I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
“There’s no way in hell I would ever be disappointed, not when you kiss like that.” With his brows furrowed, he glanced down at the bulge between his legs and growled, “Hell, woman. Can’t you see what you do to me?”
It wasn’t until exactly that moment I noticed he was aroused, and my confidence returned with a warm rush after I realized I’d done that to him with just a kiss. I eased back up on the sofa, and as I settled in next to him, I wished I could go back in time and take back my momentary lapse of judgement. Wanting to pick right up where we’d left off, but knowing where it could lead, I needed him to take control of the situation, proving that he wanted this just as much as I did.
CHAPTER 11
Murphy
She challenged me at every turn and made me rethink everything I believed in. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I knew from the start that she was trouble. I could feel it in my fucking bones. Everything about Riley Nichols, from her sharp wit to her innocent smile screamed red flags, cautioning me to steer clear, and yet, I found myself wanting to ignore all the warning signs. I couldn’t understand it. When I was with her, the walls I’d put up would disappear, like they never even existed, and instead of focusing on all the things that could go wrong, I wound up thinking of all the possibilities. That was Riley. She’d caught me in her spell and turned me inside out. I’d let myself get drawn in, and now that she’d pushed me into a corner, I had to decide what I was going to do about it. I could take a chance and see if she was right, or stick to my guns and walk away before things got even more complicated. The decision might’ve been easier if she didn’t look so damn beautiful sitting there and staring at me with those gorgeous dark eyes, waiting to see if I was going to kiss her again.
For weeks, I’d imagined what it would feel like to have her mouth on mine, and now that I’d actually had a taste of her, there was no way in hell I could resist having another. As I leaned towards her, I said, “I’m going to take a chance here, and I’m going to kiss you, Riley. I’m going to kiss you long and hard. I’m going to make you forget every doubt you ever had and show you exactly what you do to me, but before I do, I need to tell you … I’m going to want more than just a kiss. I’m going to want all of you … every fucking inch, and once I have you, there’ll be no walking away … no letting you go.”
“Okay.”
“You need to be sure about this.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, she leaned in towards me and replied, “I am sure, Murphy.”
“There’s one more thing. Murphy is my road name. It’s something my brothers call me. My real name … the name I want you to call me whenever we’re alone together is Lincoln.”
“Lincoln,” she whispered.
Hearing her say my name did something to me. I needed to hear it again, so I demanded, “Say it again.”
Her eyes met mine as she repeated, “Lincoln.”
Unable to wait any longer, I slipped my arm around her waist and drew her closer as I lowered my mouth to hers. I couldn’t believe how good she felt in my arms, like her body was meant to be next to mine, and I cursed myself for the time I’d wasted trying to keep my distance from her. When she inched her way closer, I knew I was done. Even if it meant the end
of me, I wouldn’t waste another second. I pulled her over my lap with her knees straddling me as I delved deeper, tasting her, teasing her, driving us both crazy with need. Her hands slowly drifted over my chest as she grazed her center against my throbbing erection. Knowing there was just a tiny piece of fabric between us was driving me to the edge, and hearing all of her little moans and whimpers wasn’t helping matters.
“Riley,” I rasped. “I don’t know how much more I can take.”
“Me either. I want you so much.”
“Maybe it’s best that we just stop … at least for now.”
Her eyebrows furrowed as she protested, “I don’t want to stop, Lincoln. I want this.”
At the sound of my name, I lowered my hands to her hips, carefully lifting her as I stood up from the sofa. I took a step forward, and her legs instinctively made their way around my waist. My breath caught when I felt her body pressed against mine. Damn. Need surged through me like a fucking wildfire. I feared if I didn’t extinguish the burn, it would completely consume me. As I started up the stairs, I had to fight the urge to stop and just take her right there on the fucking steps. When we finally made it up to my room, I carried her to the foot of the bed and slowly lowered her feet to the floor. With her standing before me, I brought my hand up to her face, and ran the pad of my thumb across her bottom lip as I said, “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about this moment.”
“I’ve thought about it, too … many times, but I never dreamed it would feel like this.” She took a step back and said, “I didn’t know it was possible to want someone like I want you right now.”
With her eyes trained on mine, she pulled her little black dress over her head, revealing her black lace bra and panties. I’d never seen a more incredible sight. From head to toe, she was absolute perfection. I watched in awe as she reached her arms behind her, removing her lace bra. She stood there in nothing but her lace panties looking at me with needful eyes, waiting for me to make my move. I could hardly restrain myself with her looking so unbelievably beautiful. I was barely able to keep it together, and seeing that spark of eagerness only made it more difficult as I kicked off my boots and removed my shirt.