by Wilder, L.
“Well, he’s really looking forward to seeing you.”
Even though I knew that wasn’t true, I replied, “I’m looking forward to seeing him too.”
“Oh, and Brooklyn should be home by the time we get there.”
As I lifted my duffle-bag off the conveyer belt, I asked, “She been making it okay?”
“You know your sister … she’s always on the go.” Mom shrugged. “But I guess that’s a good thing. It keeps her out of trouble.”
We headed outside to the parking garage, and once we got to Mom’s car, she popped the trunk and I tossed my bag inside. I slammed it shut and then we both got in the car and started home. We hadn’t been driving long when I heard her let out a deep sigh. I glanced over at her, and even in the dark, I could see the dark circles under her eyes. “Have you been working double shifts again?”
“No … it’s just been a long week.”
“Why’s that?”
“Let’s not talk about that right now,” she interrupted, then quickly changed the subject. “I’ve got your room all ready for you and got your rehab appointments all lined up. CJ and Dalton are planning to come by and see you once you get settled.”
“That’d be cool.”
It had been years since I’d seen my best friends from high school. We’d all gone our separate ways, so I was surprised when she said, “Did you know that CJ and his girlfriend, Adeline, are expecting?”
“Hadn’t heard that.”
“I don’t think it was something they were planning, but … you know how those things go.”
Mom continued to ramble on about all the latest gossip in town until we pulled up in the driveway. As soon as she’d parked, I got out, grabbed my bag, and followed her up to the front door. She motioned for me to go inside as she said, “You get settled, and I’ll go start dinner. I’m making pork chops and mashed potatoes.”
“Okay, sounds good.” When I walked into the living room, I found Dad sitting in his recliner with his TV tray in front of him. He was studying one of his patches through a magnifying glass, something I’d seen him do a thousand times before. It was a hobby that started when he was a kid. In hopes of helping him make friends, his folks had signed him up for the Boy Scouts. While their plan for him to make friends didn’t pan out, he did gain an interest in patches. That interest turned into an obsession—an obsession that carried over into his adulthood. He didn’t even look up when I walked over to him. “Hey, Pop. How’s it going?”
“Good.”
I swallowed back the feeling of rejection that was creeping up inside of me and tried once again to get his attention. “You get some new patches?”
“Um-hmm.” Without turning to look at me, he held up the long, narrow patch and said, “It’s an Unteroffiziervorschule cuff title.”
“I got no idea what that is, Pop.”
Like he was reading straight from the encyclopedia, he spouted off, “Unteroffiziervorschule is German for NCO Preparatory School. The German military created the school to train lower ranks in leadership and initiative. Their students eventually became commissioned officers.”
“Wow, that’s really something.”
“Also found a set of World War II German rural police collar tabs.
“Oh, really?” There was a time when it bothered me that my father showed me little to no attention, but as I grew older, I realized that it wasn’t his fault. My father had Asperger’s Syndrome. I had no choice but to accept the fact that he’d never be the kind of father I hoped he would be. “Are those good ones?”
Like a child, he brought it close to his body, protecting it as he answered, “Yes. Very good.”
“That’s great, Pop.” As I started towards my room, I told him, “I’m gonna go get settled in.” Without replying, he turned his attention back to his magnifying glass, and just like always, it was like I’d never been in the room.
I went upstairs to my room and lay across the bed. As I stared up at my old Bon Jovi poster, I was surprised by how different it felt to be here. Everything was exactly the way I’d left it, but for some reason, everything in the whole fucking house seemed different. What had once felt like home was now completely foreign to me.
Over the next few days that feeling had only grown stronger. When my buddies from high school had come by to see me, it was like they were complete strangers. After the first few minutes, the conversations became forced and awkward. I couldn’t even talk to my mother and sister. It was like I was stuck inside my head and couldn’t find the right words to say to anyone. I’d told myself it would pass, that things would get back to normal eventually, but they didn’t. With each new day, things only seemed to get be getting worse. Hell, even the shit with my father was fucking with my head. He’d never talked to me or showed that he gave a damn about me, and I’d adapted to that. I’d stopped hoping that things would change, but I could feel the resentment building inside of me, making me feel like I was going to explode at any minute. I just couldn’t take it. I needed to get the fuck out of that house and out of my head, or I was going to lose my mind. I grabbed my keys and headed downstairs. Just as I was about to walk out the front door, Mom called out to me, “Cade? Wait! Where are you going?”
“I’m going out.”
“Again?” Confusion crossed her face. “Is something wrong?”
“No, Mom. I’m just—”
She gave me one of her looks as she interrupted, “You’re just what, Cade?”
“I can’t do this anymore. It’s just too much.”
“What are you talking about? What’s too much?”
“Everything. This house. This town.” I let out an aggravated breath as I grumbled, “Dad.”
“I know it’s not easy coming home after all you’ve been through, but we love you, sweetheart. We like having you here with us.”
“Why do you keep saying we?” I huffed. “Dad could care less if I’m alive or dead.”
“That’s not true, Cade. Your father loves you.”
I shook my head as I argued, “Yeah, right. He’s never once given me a second thought, and you damn well know it.”
“Come with me. I want to show you something.” She walked into my dad’s office and over to the glass case where he kept his prized patches. As she opened the top latch, she explained, “A few days after you left for training, your father started a new collection.”
I glanced down at the case and my chest tightened as soon as I saw it was lined with various Marine Corp patches, from the seal and crest to old veteran patches. “There’s so many of them.”
“I know, honey. He might not be good at showing it, but you’ve been on his mind every day.”
I could feel the emotion building inside of me as I muttered, “I didn’t know.”
“I know.” Mom had always understood my father in a way I never could. As far as I could tell, my father had never given me a second thought, but as she stood there staring down at those patches, she seemed to think otherwise. She slipped her arm around my back, doing her best to reassure me as she said, “That’s why I wanted you to see this.”
It meant a lot to me to see those patches, to know that I’d crossed my father’s mind. That realization made me feel like the walls were closing in on me. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get some air before I totally lost it. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
I rushed out of the house, got in my truck, and cranked the engine. There was only one place for me to escape the thoughts that were rushing through my head—Danver’s Pub. When I walked in, it looked exactly how it did five years ago. They were even playing the same damn songs on the jukebox, but I didn’t give a rat’s ass about the music or the décor. I needed a fucking drink. Hell, I needed a slew of them. I went over to the counter, placed my order for three shots of chilled vodka, and downed them one right after the other. I ordered three more, immediately knocking them down, and was about to order three more when a man came over a
nd sat down next to me. I took a quick glance at him and an uneasy feeling washed over me when I saw that he was wearing a Satan’s Fury cut. Their MC was known for being a group of badasses who didn’t take shit from anyone, and from the looks of the patch he was sporting, this guy next to me was the biggest badass of them all. He was a big guy, maybe in his late forties, but he was fit and looked like he could hold his own and then some. He called the bartender over and said, “Bring us another round.”
The bartender nodded, then placed six shot glasses on the counter, quickly filling them to the brim. “Anything else?”
“For now … just keep my tab running.” He lifted one of the shot glasses and asked, “You got a name, kid?”
“Cade.”
“Couldn’t help but notice the military cut. You in the service?”
“I was.” I ran my hand over the top of my head as I replied, “I just got back a few days ago.”
“Well, here’s to you, Cade. Thanks for your service.” He motioned his hand towards my round of shots and waited for me to lift mine, and then we both threw them back. “So, you got plans to go back?”
“Nah. Pretty sure that chapter of my life has closed. My shoulder guaranteed that.”
“What’s up with your shoulder?”
“Bullet fucked up my rotator cuff.”
“Damn.” He shook his head as he reached for a another shot. “That’s a tough one, but you’re young, you’ll be back like new before you know it.”
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“That’s because I am,” he said, then he pulled back the sleeve of his t-shirt, revealing a wound similar to mine. “Hurt like a bitch, but eventually healed and so will yours.”
“Good to know.” I took another shot, then immediately reached for the next. “Thanks for the round.”
“Least I can do. After all, you seem pretty damn determined to get tanked tonight, so I thought I’d help you out.”
“Needed to clear my head.”
“Vodka isn’t gonna help you with that.”
“Maybe not, but after the day I’ve had, it’s worth a try.”
“Been one of those days, huh?”
“Yeah,” I muttered. “You could say that.”
“Life has a way of throwing some pretty hard punches … some harder than others.” He looked me dead in the eye. “You’ve just gotta take the hit and find a way to get back up.”
“I’ve had one too many hits, man. Not sure I see the point in getting back up anymore.”
“Put your hand on your heart.” He waited silently as I did as he requested. “You feel that? As long as your heart’s beating, then you’ve got a purpose. You’ve just gotta figure out what it is.”
“I’m trying, but it’s just so damn hard.” I ran my hand down my face and sighed. “Every fucking thing is exactly the same as it was when I left … my folks, my house, this whole damn city, but it feels so different. How is that possible?”
“Because you’ve changed. You can’t expect things to be the same when you’re not the same man you were when you left.”
“I’m still me, though.”
“Yeah, but now you’re a different version of yourself.” His eyes narrowed as he asked, “You ever ridden before?”
“A motorcycle?”
“Not talking about a fucking moped, son,” he scoffed.
I shrugged. “Ridden a couple of times when I was younger but never actually had one of my own.”
“Might be time to try again.”
“Maybe so.”
“Maybe isn’t an answer, son.” Then he leaned towards me and said, “If I’ve learned anything in this life, it’s that we only regret the chances we didn’t take. It’s time for you to take that chance.”
“I hear ya.” I reached for my last shot and added, “But I don’t own a motorcycle, and even if I did, I couldn’t ride with this shoulder.”
“That’s two problems, son.” He chuckled. “Both can be solved with time.”
He reached into his pocket, pulled out a card, and offered it to me. “The name’s Gus. When you get back on your feet, come by the clubhouse. We’ll take that ride together.”
“Sounds good. I’ll do that.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.” After finishing off his last shot, he stood up and started to walk away. “Drink to your heart’s content. Just be sure to get a ride home, son.”
“Will do.”
There was something about the way he’d called me son that got to me. As odd as it seemed, it felt like he actually meant it. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear it. That one word had me looking down at the card Gus had given me, and I knew at that moment I would be taking that ride with him. What I didn’t know was how that decision would change my life forever.
CHAPTER 1
Gunner
“Give me a second,” I called out to Blaze. “I’ll be right back.”
“Whoa … Where are you going?” His eyes narrowed as he watched me start across the parking lot. “We’re going to be late.”
I was following Blaze, Shadow, Murphy, and their ol’ ladies into the gas station when a gorgeous brunette in the parking lot caught my attention. She was pacing back and forth in front of her car. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked like she was crying as she talked to someone on her cell phone. When we came back out and she was still there, I figured something must be wrong. There was something about a woman in need that got to me, especially when she was smoking hot with curves made for sin. As I continued walking towards her, I glanced back at Blaze and said, “No, we won’t. I’ll just be a minute.”
“Um-hmm. I’ve heard that shit before,” he complained. Murphy, the club’s sergeant-at-arms, was a good guy, always played by the rules and never let a brother down, so I wasn’t surprised when he said, “We still gotta drop the girls off, and if we’re late for church, Gus is gonna be pissed.”
“I already told ya … We won’t be late.”
As I made my way closer to the woman, I heard her say, “Are you sure about this?” A gust of wind whipped passed us, and I quickly became mesmerized by the way her long, dark hair fluttered around her face. Damn. It was like I’d been pulled into some romantic, chick flick where everything was moving in slow motion. I needed to shake it off before I made a fucking fool of myself. She tucked her hair behind her ears as she continued, “I’m not certain. I think I’m close, but I took the wrong exit. Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.” After another brief pause, she said, “I’ll let you know.”
When she ended the call, I put on my best smile and asked, “You lost, darlin’?”
The gorgeous brunette glanced up at me for a moment, and her dark eyes quickly drifted over me. Clearly unaffected by my dashing good looks, she looked down at her phone and replied, “No.”
“You sure about that … ’cause you’re a long way from heaven.”
I cocked my head to the side and smiled, hoping she’d find the humor in my corny pickup line. Sadly, she was totally unfazed. Instead, my words just hung in the air, completely disregarded as she stared down at her phone. “I’m sure you’re a nice enough guy and all, but I really don’t have time for this right now.”
“Okay, then. Tell me how I can help.” I wasn’t sure what to make of her. I knew she wasn’t from around here, otherwise she’d know how dangerous it was for her to be standing out in the parking lot with every thug around checking her out. I couldn’t blame them. Hell, she looked like a knockout in those hip-hugging jeans and low-cut t-shirt. I could only imagine what she’d look like wearing nothing at all. Just the thought made it difficult not to readjust myself. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the same effect on her. In fact, she seemed unimpressed by my southern charm and was doing her best to disregard me completely. I could’ve just walked away, kept what was left of my ego intact, but that would have been too easy. “Seriously … you got any idea where you are?”
“Actually, I do. I’m i
n Memphis and”—she glanced up at the store front sign—“at the Citgo gas station on Frayser Road.”
“So, you know you’re in Frayser?”
“Umm … Yeah.” Her eyebrows furrowed as she asked, “Why?”
“Not exactly safe around here, darlin’.” I lifted my chin, motioning my head towards the hood-rats smoking dope at the side of the building. “There are some real bad folks around these parts.”
Her gazed drifted downward as she took a moment to study my torn jeans, leather cut, and tattoos. She shook her head, then clipped, “And what about you? Are you one of them?”
“Depends on who you ask.”
“Um-hmm. If had to guess, I would say you and your friends are just as dangerous, if not more so, as those men over there.” With a cocked brow and a half-smile, she sassed, “Regardless, I’d already be gone if you weren’t here … you know, distracting me.”
“Well, that’s as much your fault as it is mine.” I let my eyes slowly drift over her, taking my time to study every gorgeous inch of her, as I said, “If you weren’t so damn beautiful, I wouldn’t be over here talking to you. Besides, I had to at least try and see if there was something I could do to help. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you while you were out here all alone.”
“You’re good. I’ll give you that.” She shook her head and scoffed, “A regular knight in shining armor, but you’re wasting your time with me. I’m fine.”
“I don’t know about that.” A smirk crossed my face as I added, “This is no place for someone like you, so if you’re lost, I’ll be glad to help you find wherever it is you’re trying to go.”
“Thanks, but I think I’ve got it figured out.” She got in her car, and just before she closed her door, she looked over to me and said, “Maybe you’ll have better luck with your next damsel in distress.”
Before I had a chance to respond, she started her car and drove out of the parking lot. I watched as she pulled out onto the main road, and moments later, her tail lights disappeared into the traffic. When I turned around, I found the guys sitting on their Harleys with their ol’ ladies, watching me with goofy grins plastered across their faces. Doing my best to ignore them, I walked over, got on my bike, and started up my engine, revving it several times. My brothers never moved. They just sat there staring at me like three jackasses. “What?”