by Wilder, L.
“What?”
“I know that sounds crazy, but he was always so different around her. His eyes would light up when she walked into the room. His tone changed whenever he spoke to her. I don’t know. You would’ve had to see it for yourself to know what I’m talking about.” She gave a half-shrug before saying, “When she died, he was devastated—way more devastated than he should’ve been.”
“Oh, Mom,” I gasped. “You should’ve told me.”
“I didn’t know how. I’d kept the secret locked away, hoping one day it would just go away. But it never did. Instead, it just grew bigger and bigger, to the point I didn’t know what to do with it. When Denis left, I know it was hard on you, especially when he never called or came by to see you, but honestly I was relieved that I didn’t have to pretend anymore.”
“Mom.” I sighed at the thought. “You didn’t have to carry all that alone.”
Her gaze drifted to the ceiling as she thought to herself for a moment. After a long, cleansing sigh, she finally muttered, “Things could’ve been so different.”
“You didn’t have a choice.” I placed my hand on her arm as I said, “I heard you tell him what Grandmother did … how she forced you to leave him.”
“She hated him, but she had no idea what kind of man he really was.”
“But what kind of man was he, Mom?” Remembering what she’d said about the video, I asked, “Did he really kill someone?”
“It’s complicated, August.”
“How can killing someone be complicated, Mother? He either did it or he didn’t.”
“The man he killed … those men who they all killed, were members of a vicious gang who did horrible, unimaginable things, and they were trying to hurt Gus and his brothers. Gus got to them before that happened.” She looked over to me with a fire in her eyes as she said, “Right or wrong, he was protecting the people he cared about the most. That’s what he does. That’s how I knew he would help you get Harper back. I knew he’d figure out that you were his daughter, and there was no way in hell that he would let any harm come to you or his granddaughter.”
“Did you tell Grandmother about any of this?”
“I tried, but she didn’t care. She wouldn’t listen to me when I told her how good he was to me, but even if she did, it wouldn’t have mattered. Back then, what I wanted was irrelevant. It was always about her and what she wanted, just like it had been my entire life.”
“I’m sorry, Momma. I really am.” I placed my hand on hers. “You really loved him, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I loved him very much. The crazy thing is, I still do.” Tears filled her eyes as she said, “I should’ve been stronger. I should’ve stood up for myself, but I was scared of what my mother might do in retaliation. I couldn’t take a chance on her causing something that would hurt Gus.”
“I can understand that. I really can. I might’ve even done the same thing if I was in your shoes, but not telling me that Gus was my father … that I don’t understand, especially after Grandmother died.”
“I was afraid I would lose you … that you would hate me for keeping the truth from you.” She squeezed my hand as she said, “I couldn’t bear it if I lost you, August. You mean the world to me.”
“Mom, you’re not going to lose me. Not now. Not ever,” I assured her. “I love you, but it’s going to take me some time to forgive you for this with Gus. Even though I understand why you initially did it, I can’t help but feel betrayed and lied to. I’m sure he feels the same way.”
She started crying again as she muttered, “He does.”
“Give him time. Give us both some time. It will work out … that is if Polito and his band of thugs don’t get to me first,” I huffed.
“August! That’s not funny,” my mother scolded.
“I wasn’t trying to be funny.” I glanced behind me, looking for some sign of Cade, but there was none. “Is it just me, or does this place seem oddly quiet to you?”
“I’m sure they’re in one of their meetings trying to figure out how to deal with David and those awful men he’s working with.”
“You’re probably right.”
We both settled back and watched Harper as she played with her little friends. Every now and then, I would glance down at my watch, checking the time. When it came time for her nap, Mom and I took her down to my room. While I put her down, Mom went across the hall to get some rest of her own. Two hours later, Harper was up and ready for another bite to eat. It all seemed so mundane as Mom and I took her back to the kitchen, grabbed a late lunch, and then headed back to the playroom. I was fighting utter boredom as one hour rolled into the next. It was well after four, and I’d still seen no sign of Cade or the others. Becoming frustrated, I looked over to Mom and asked, “Do you mind watching Harper? I’m going to try and find Cade and see what’s going on.”
“Of course.”
As I stood to leave, I waved over at Harper and said, “I’ll be right back. Gammy is going to watch you for a bit.”
Harper nodded, then quickly turned her attention back to the little girl she was playing with. I stood there watching her for a minute, and I tried to imagine what I would’ve done if I was in my mother’s shoes. I wanted to think that I would’ve told her the truth, but deep down, I wasn’t so sure. Feeling more confused than ever, I walked out into the hall to go find Cade. I hadn’t gotten very far when I heard men’s voices coming from the conference room. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I turned to go back to the family room. I hadn’t gotten far when I heard someone call out my name. When I turned, I found Hawk walking in my direction. I forced a smile as I said, “Hey, Hawk.”
“Hey.” A look of discomfort crossed his face. “I wanted to apologize about last night.”
“That’s not necessary. There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“Yeah. It’s definitely necessary. I didn’t know you and Gunner were a thing, otherwise I wouldn’t have—”
“Hawk … it’s really okay.” I smiled as I told him, “Your intentions were good, and under different circumstances …”
A smirk crossed his face as he chuckled and said, “My intentions were anything but good, August.”
“Oh.”
“Come on, August. You’re a beautiful woman.” He leaned towards me with a smirk that would make any other woman swoon. “You can’t blame me for at least trying to get you to go out with me.”
“If you say so.” I glanced over his shoulder and asked him, “Have you seen Gunner?”
“Yeah. We were all just meeting about … things.” I knew he wouldn’t tell me any more than that, so I wasn’t surprised when he quickly changed the subject. “Where’s that cute kid of yours?”
“She’s in the family room playing with some of the other kids. My mother is with her.”
He nodded. “Glad she found some friends here. I’m sure all this hasn’t been easy on her.”
“No, it hasn’t.”
“August?” Gus called as he started walking in my direction. “I was hoping you would be around.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Wondered if you had a few minutes for us to talk?”
I knew I couldn’t put him off forever, but I was hoping that I would have more time to prepare for our inevitable conversation. Dread washed over me as I asked, “Now?”
“Unless you’ve got somewhere else you need to be?”
“No … Mom is watching Harper, so I don’t have anywhere that I need to be, at least not for a little while.” I shrugged with a smile. “So, yeah. I guess I’m free to talk.”
“Good.” He motioned for me to follow as he said, “Let’s find a place where we can talk privately.”
When he started down the hall, I did as he’d asked and followed. I expected him to take me to an empty room or the bar, but he led me out of the Sinners’ clubhouse and into the parking lot. We both continued walking until he stopped next to a big black Harley motorcycle. He took a helmet out of one of the saddlebags and off
ered it to me. “Wait … You’re wanting me to ride on that?”
“Yeah.” He grabbed his off the backseat and slipped it on his head. “Haven’t you ever been on a motorcycle before?”
“No, not exactly.”
“Well, there’s a first time for everything.”
After he got on, he offered his hand and helped me climb on behind him. I was a little nervous about riding a motorcycle for the first time, but the thought of my first ride being with my father seemed bittersweet. I placed my hands on his waist and moments later, we were on the road. With the warmth of the sun my face and the cool breeze blowing in my hair, I quickly relaxed and was amazed at how free I felt. As crazy as it sounds, I felt more like myself than I ever had. We’d been riding for about forty-five minutes or so when I realized that we were headed to Radnor Lake State Park. It was just outside of the city and had incredible views. We continued into the park, and when Gus found the perfect spot by the water, he pulled over and parked the bike. We both got off and headed over to a small picnic table.
Once we were seated, I looked over to him, watching as he stared out onto the lake, and it was hard to believe that I hadn’t seen it sooner: his dark, almost black eyes, the arch of his brow, the subtle wave in his dark hair, even the tiny crook in the corner of his mouth when he smiled. We shared so many similar traits, making it impossible to deny that he was, in fact, my father. When he turned to look at me, I could see the pain and anguish in his eyes—an emotion he tried so hard to hide from others. I knew the feeling. I’d spent my entire life trying to hide the hurt I felt so deep inside, and I wished there was a way I could take it all away … for both of us. Gus’s voice was strained as he said, “I have so many things I want to say to you, but I don’t have a clue where to start.”
“I know. I feel the same way.” I inhaled a deep breath then said, “I wish things could’ve been different … that you didn’t have to find out about me like this.”
“We both know Samantha had her reasons for keeping you from me, and I’m trying to come to terms with those, but I just can’t stop thinking about how different things could’ve been if I’d just followed my gut and had gone after her.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Gus reached into his pocket for his wallet. He flipped it open and pulled out an old, folded sheet of a paper. He offered it to me, and as soon as I opened it and saw the handwriting, I knew it was from my mother.
After reading the letter, I could only imagine the heartbreak that my mother was feeling as she wrote those words to Gus. Even though she knew the truth about him, it was clear that she loved him terribly. It must’ve been gut-wrenching to know that she had to leave him and the life that they could’ve had together in order to protect him. Tears were steadily streaming down my face as I muttered, “Oh, Gus.”
“I bet I’ve read that letter a million times over the years.” He looked out onto the lake, watching as the waves crashed along the bank, and sighed. “Now, it finally makes sense why she didn’t come back to me.”
“You really did love her, didn’t you?”
“I did. I think I always will. I tried to move on, tried to forget about the time we had together, but in all my years of searching, I never found anyone who made me feel the way she did.”
“So, you never married?”
“Never.” He shook his head. “Didn’t seem right to tie myself to someone that I couldn’t truly give my heart to.”
There’s not many men in this world who would’ve made the choices he’d made. Most would’ve just denied their true feelings and married someone who they didn’t fully love. It would have made it easier to move on and forget the past, but Gus knew that would only bring him more heartache. I couldn’t help but respect him for that. “I can see why she loved you so much.”
His eyes met mine as he said, “I want you to know that if I had known about you, I would’ve—”
“I know, Gus,” I interrupted. “And so would I, but we can’t go back. We’ve just gotta find a way to move forward from this. We all do.”
“You got any idea how we do that?”
“No, but I’m sure we can figure it out.”
“I certainly hope so.” He placed his hand on my arm as he said, “You’re everything a father could want in a daughter, and I really hope you’ll give me a chance to get to know you and Harper better.”
“I’d like that.” I knew I was walking on sensitive ground when I asked, “What about Mom? Do you think you could forgive her … that you two could find a way to work past all this?”
“I’d like to say we could, but I honestly don’t know.” He turned his attention back to the water. “There’s been so much hurt, years and years of it, and not just for me. Samantha endured plenty of heartache of her own. I just don’t know how we move on from that.”
“If you both still love each other like you say you do, then you’ll find a way.”
“I guess only time will tell.” He glanced down at his watch. “We better be getting back. I need to help get things prepared.”
“Prepared for what?”
“Can’t say. That’s club business,” he answered flatly.
“So, you don’t discuss club business?”
“No, not with anyone except the brothers.”
“Not even with the president’s daughter?” I asked with a smirk. “Besides, something tells me that this particular business has something to do with me.”
“That might be true, but it doesn’t change anything.” His tone turned serious as he said, “Discussing details only puts you and Harper in danger, August. Not going to let that happen.”
“Okay, I understand.”
As he stood up, he glanced over at me and said, “I’m guessing since you mentioned the president’s daughter thing, that you and Gunner had a conversation.”
“We did. In fact, we had a lengthy conversation.” I followed him over to his motorcycle, and as I got on behind him, I put on my helmet and said, “In case you didn’t know, he really thinks a lot of you.”
“I think a lot of him as well.” After he put on his helmet, he glanced over his shoulder at me. “You got yourself a good one with him.”
Without giving me a chance to respond, he started the engine and drove out onto the main road. The sun had just started to set as we started back towards the Sinners’ clubhouse. I tried to focus on all the beautiful scenery, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Gus had said about helping the others get prepared. I was curious to know if his getting prepared had something to do with the men who were trying to kill me. I couldn’t help but wonder if he would kill them just like he had the gang members who’d threatened his brothers so long ago. It was then that I realized I simply didn’t care how he dealt them. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to get on with my life and get my daughter home to her own bed and to Floppsie. When we arrived at the clubhouse, I thanked Gus for taking the time to talk to me and for the amazing ride. It was great to get away, even if it was just for a little while.
Once we said our final goodbyes, I went back to my room to check on Mom and Harper. To my surprise, I found Jae sitting on my bed with Harper, watching cartoons. “Oh … Hey, Jae. I didn’t know you were watching Harper.”
“Your mother asked me to sit with her for a little while,” she explained.
“Did she happen to say why?”
“No.” Jae got up off the bed and walked over to the side table. She picked up a notepad and said, “But she did leave you this note.”
When I read that she’d gone to the house to get Floppsie, my heart started to race with horror. All I could think about were those men charging towards my house and how they’d come to kill me. There was a good chance that at least one of them was still there watching to see if I would return. I couldn’t believe that she’d do something so foolish, especially over something as silly as a child’s toy. Knowing she could be in danger, I rushed over and grabbed the burner cell phone Cade had given me and dialed
her number. I let it ring several times, and when she didn’t answer, I called her again. And again. Still no answer. Damn.
CHAPTER 15
Gunner
The sun had barely begun to rise when Gus called my brothers and me into a meeting with Sinners. As hoped, Riggs and Hammer had managed to hack into the security feed at each of Polito’s properties, which was an integral part to taking Polito down. We spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon going over the video feed. By doing so, we were able to start gathering a head count of all of Polito’s men, and each of their comings and goings of the four properties. He had fifteen in his main warehouse, and eight more holed up in his office building along with Polito himself and his right hand, Sal Carbone.
From what we could tell, the smaller warehouse was mainly used as storage and had only two guards posted. Unfortunately, we still had no idea how many Polito had inside the house. With the cameras being on the exterior of the home, we couldn’t get a good visual on what was going on inside. After hours of trying to get a decent view, Blaze became frustrated and grumbled, “This shit isn’t doing us any good. We can’t see a damn thing with these fucking cameras.”
“I’m sorry, brother, but it’s the best I could do,” Riggs replied.
“We gotta find a way to get a look inside or we’re gonna be fucked,” Murphy warned.
Knowing he was right, I offered, “I could go over and check it out.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Viper warned. “If anyone sees you, this whole plan could go up in flames.”
“We need cameras inside the house,” Murphy pushed. “That’s the only way we can be certain of what we’re walking in to.”
“He’s right,” Riggs interjected. “If Gunner and I could get close enough, I could install a couple of micro-cameras on a couple of the windows. If positioned right, we could get a better idea of what’s going on in there.”
Gus looked over to him and said, “Get it done. Murphy … go with them in case they need a hand.”