by Wilder, L.
Just as it was starting to get dark, there was a knock at my door. It wasn’t like my mother to show up unannounced, but after not returning her calls, I wouldn’t put it past her. I eased out of bed, and I’d almost made it to the kitchen when another round of knocking ensued, only this time it was more frantic. I rose up on my tiptoes and grumbled curses under my breath when I found my mother standing on my doorstep. I unlocked the deadbolt, then opened the door and fussed, “Mom, what are you doing here?”
“I came to check on you!” A grimace crossed her face as her eyes scanned over my disheveled hair and wrinkled pajamas. As usual, she was looking great in her black, scoop-neck t-shirt and jeans. Her makeup was on and her freshly colored hair was styled perfectly, making me even more aggravated that she’d intruded on my free day. She reached out to touch my forehead as she asked, “Are you sick?”
“No, Mom. I’m fine.”
“Then why didn’t you answer any of my calls?” she shrieked. “I was worried something was wrong.”
“I turned off my ringer.”
Her brows furrowed. “Why did you do that?”
“I don’t know,” I scowled as I dropped my hand to my hip. “Maybe it’s because I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“Why, is something wrong? Did something happen with that guy who helped you with the dog?” She dropped her keys and purse down on the table, letting me know that she wasn’t just checking to see if I was alive. She wanted to know all the juicy details of my night out, but that wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t ready to discuss it, not with her or anyone else. When I didn’t immediately respond, she kept at it. “Was he at that party last night?”
“Mommm, stop!” I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. With my hands still covering my face, I told her, “The party was fine.”
“Then, what’s wrong?”
“Everything … and nothing.” I looked up at her, and guilt washed over me when I saw the anguished expression on her face. “I just needed a bit of time to figure some things out.”
“What kind of things?”
“Mom … I need you to stop pushing. I’ll talk to you about it when I’m ready.”
“Fine. I won’t say another word.” That was something I’d heard many times from her and knew it wasn’t true, so I wasn’t surprised when she said, “Just tell me … Did you wear the black dress?”
“Yes, Mother. I wore the dress.”
“Good.” With a proud smirk on her face, she reached for her purse and keys. “I’ll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing.”
“Thank you.” I gave her a quick hug and walked her to the door. “I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”
“Okay. Enjoy the rest of your night.” As she started towards the door, she called, “Don’t forget to turn your ringer back on.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I closed the door behind her, then went over to the refrigerator to grab something to eat. After I made myself a sandwich, I carried it back into my room and turned my show back on. I was just about to start eating when I spotted my phone at the end of my bed. Curious to see if my mother’s calls were the only ones I’d missed, I reached for it, and my chest tightened the second I saw that I had a message from Clay.
Clay: We need to talk.
Those four simple words made me want to crawl back under my covers and hide. I knew he was right. We did have things we needed to talk about, but as I stared down at my phone, I couldn’t make myself respond to his message. I don’t know why I was being such a coward. It wasn’t that my feelings had changed for Clay. I still thought he was an amazing guy, and when we made love, it was unbelievable. I’d never felt such passion with any man, and while I wanted to experience that again, I needed to be sure that I was thinking with my brain and not my hormones. I was trying to think of a good response to his text when my phone started to ring with a number I didn’t recognize. Thinking it was probably a telemarketer, I was hesitant to answer, but after several rings, I took a chance and answered.
“Hello?”
“Is this Ms. Dawson?” a young girl asked.
“Yes, it is. May I ask who’s calling?”
With a slight tremble in her voice, the child answered, “It’s Katie … Katie Coburn.”
“Oh, hi, Katie. How are you?”
“Not good. It’s my dad.” I’d given her my number in case of an emergency, but I was hoping that she wouldn’t have to use it. Sadly, that wasn’t the case. “He’s … uh … been drinking … a lot a-and he’s trying to make me blow in that thing in his car again so he can drive. I don’t want to, Ms. Dawson, but he’s getting really mad.”
There was an awful commotion in the background while she spoke, and I began to panic. As I got out of bed and started to remove my pajamas, I asked her, “What’s that noise?”
“That’s him.” Hearing the terror in her voice gutted me. “I locked myself in the bathroom, and he’s throwing stuff at the door and yelling.”
“Where’s his girlfriend?”
“She’s gone.” Her voice cracked and she started to cry. “They got in a fight, and he kicked her out.”
Hoping to keep her distracted, I asked, “Do you know what they were fighting about?”
“The gas bill or something. They’re always …” As she explained how the argument began, I pulled up my messages and sent a text to Danny, an officer down at our local precinct who I’d worked with on several different cases, letting him know about the situation. When he asked for the address, I was too rattled to remember offhand, so I rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the Coburn file out of my bag. Once I had the information, I sent it over to him, then sent another message to Mrs. Hawkins, my supervisor, to fill her in on the situation. I’d just completed the message when Katie asked, “Are you still there?”
“Yes, honey. I’m right here.” I didn’t want to scare her even more, so I tried to keep my tone calm and reassuring as I told her, “I’m sending someone over to the house so they can check on you.”
“Wait … you’re not coming?”
“Yes, but he can get there a lot faster than I can,” I explained, as I pulled my hair up into a messy bun. “I just need you to try and hold tight until he gets there. Okay?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll try.” Mr. Coburn started screaming Katie’s name along with a long stream of curses as he pounded on the door. “He’s right outside the door. Can you stay on the phone with me until you get here?”
“Of course.” I jerked my shoes on, and as I grabbed my purse and keys, I told her, “I’m leaving my house now. Just keep talking and let me know when the police arrive.”
“Okay.”
As much as I loved my job, it was moments like this that made me question if I was strong enough to handle all the suffering that came along with it, especially when the kids were so young and defenseless. As I got in my car and headed towards the Coburn home, I wasn’t thinking about anything except getting Katie to safety. With my mind so preoccupied with her, I didn’t think about Clay or the text he’d sent. I’d soon find out that the same didn’t hold true for him.
CHAPTER 13
Prospect
“You did what?”
“I followed her home,” Hawk answered. “I knew you’d want to know that she made it home safe.”
“Yeah, but it would’ve been nice if I’d had a chance to do that myself.” I’d seen the look on her face after she saw me plowing into that fuck-up. Hell, it’d been burned into my memory, and I hoped I’d be able to explain what had gone down. That didn’t happen. As soon as the dust settled, I set out to find her, but she was already gone. It didn’t help matters that she wasn’t answering my calls or my texts. I shook my head as I continued, “Or at least gotten to talk to her before she hightailed it out of here.”
“Sorry, brother. I tried to get her to stick around, but she was set on leaving.”
“You’ll get your chance to sort things out.” Viper patted me on the back. “She’l
l be back.”
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“That’s because I am.” He smiled. “I saw the way that girl was looking at you. Just trust me when I say, give her time. She’ll come around.”
I watched as some of the other Sinners started loading up. They stayed longer than they’d planned, but after a long night of partying, it took them some time to recover. Viper looked none the worse for the wear. In fact, it looked like the man had gotten a full night’s rest and was ready to take on the day. I, on the other hand, felt and looked like complete shit. I certainly wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be patient the way I needed to be with Landry. I wanted to set things straight with her sooner rather than later, but decided that I would do what I could to take a step back and give her some time like Viper had suggested. I gave him a nod, then replied, “I don’t exactly like it, but I guess you’re right.”
“I usually am.” A knowing smirk crossed his face as he patted me on the back. “The sooner you learn that, the better off you’ll be.”
“Mm-hmm. Whatever you say, boss.”
“We’re about to roll out.” He gave me a sidelong, man-hug, then started towards the others. “Keep in touch!”
“You know I will.”
I watched as Viper walked over to Gus, and after he said his goodbyes, he and the rest of the Sinners hopped on their bikes. They started up their engines, the sounds blaring, and one by one, they pulled out of the gate. Once they were gone, I leaned down and rubbed my hand over Duchess’s head. “How ya doing, girl? You ready for something to eat?”
When she stood up and started wagging her tail, I knew I’d gotten my answer. I strolled towards the clubhouse and she followed right behind me. We were just about to head inside when I heard T-Bone shout, “Yo, ‘Crusher’! Where ya running off to so fast?”
The brothers had yet to come up with a road name for me, so they usually called me “prospect” or simply by name. Crusher wasn’t one I’d heard around the clubhouse before, so I wasn’t sure who he was actually talking to. Curious, I turned around and was surprised to find T-Bone and several of the others behind me. At that moment, I realized he was talking to me. “Crusher?”
“Yeah, Crusher. After the way you crushed that guy’s skull last night, I’d say the name suits ya.” T-Bone turned to the others as he asked, “What about y’all?”
“Crusher … Yeah, that could work, or ‘Hammer.’” Blaze chuckled as he explained, “’Cause he hammered him pretty good.”
After being called prospect for the past couple of months, I was eager to finally get a road name, but I knew better than to get my hopes up. The guys were always fucking around, especially with the prospects, so I tried to keep a level head as Shadow looked down at my hands. His eyes were fixed on the various gashes and bruises. “Could call him ‘Knuckles.’”
“Knuckles … yeah.” Riggs nodded. “The kid definitely knows how to throw a fucking punch.”
“That he does,” Gauge agreed. “After that asshole put his fucking hands on Jasmine like that, I’d say he gave that piece of shit what he deserved.”
“Hell yeah, he did,” Blaze replied. “Had to know he couldn’t get away with that shit, especially not here. I would’ve fucked him up myself, but Bruiser here beat me to it.”
“‘Bruiser.’ I like it.”
T-bone was about to continue but stopped when Gus walked up, parting the group as he looked at me with a serious expression. My hopes of acquiring a road name quickly dashed when he announced, “Prospect, you and I need to have a word.”
“Yes, sir.”
I could tell by his tone that he wasn’t happy with me. I just wasn’t sure what had set him off. The group fell completely silent as they watched Duchess follow Gus and me into the clubhouse. Knowing they were just as clueless as I was made me even more apprehensive as we followed Gus down the hall. When we got to his office door, I ordered Duchess to sit in the hall, then followed him inside. My mind was racing, and it didn’t help matters that Gus was being so fucking quiet. Hell, he didn’t say a word as he walked over to his desk and sat down. He motioned his hand to the chair in front of his desk, so I quickly took the cue and sat down. Still, Gus said nothing. He just sat there, staring at me with those dark eyes.
Even at my size, it was hard not to feel intimidated by him. It wasn’t just his broad, bulked-up chest and thick biceps that were getting to me. It was much more than that. Power and strength radiated off the man, making him a legend among bikers, and the last thing I wanted was to piss him off. I would never purposely do anything to jeopardize my chance of earning a patch, and I prayed that his displeasure was something I could fix.
After several long, torturous moments, Gus finally said, “You’re a regular Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Here I was thinking you were just a good ol’ boy, but after last night, I got all the confirmation I needed to know that there’s another side to you.”
I could tell by the look in his eye that he was just getting started, so I didn’t respond; instead, I just sat back and listened. “Saw it first during our encounter with the Disciples. When all hell broke loose, you’d been ordered to return to the clubhouse, but you hadn’t listened. Instead, you put everything on the line and stayed behind. Good thing you did. Things might’ve ended differently for Rider if you hadn’t, but the fact remains—the guy who’d always done what he was told didn’t follow orders. Then, last night … Hell, you were a completely different person while you were beatin’ the shit out of that guy.”
“Yes, sir.” I knew I’d lost control. It wasn’t something new to me. It seemed I had a bad habit of not knowing when enough is enough, and beating that man to an inch of his life was no different. “I lost it when I saw what he’d done to Jasmine, but I didn’t mean to take it that far.”
“I know you didn’t. That’s the problem.” He grunted under his breath as he shook his head. “Let me make this clear. I wouldn’t have cared if you put a bullet in that motherfucker’s head. As far as I’m concerned, he had it coming after what he’d done to Jasmine, but it’s what happened to you that concerns me. You blacked out. You let your rage take over, then slipped into Mr. Hyde.”
I couldn’t argue. Everything he’d said was spot on. A feeling of defeat washed over me as I ran a hand through my hair and said, “You’re right. I did.”
“I need to know what was going on in your head when you went after him.”
“Alyssa … my sister.”
I spent the next few minutes telling him about the night she’d come to me after Homecoming. Once I was done, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms as he asked, “You ever share that story with anyone?”
“No, sir. Not even Viper knows what happened to Lyssa that night.”
“So, you kept your promise to your sister, even when it would’ve been easier to divulge her secret?”
“Yes, sir. I gave her my word, and I intend to keep it.” I looked him straight in the eye. “Today is the first time I’ve ever broken a promise between us.”
“Her secret will never leave this room,” he assured me. “How’s she dealing with what happened?”
“The best she can.” I lowered my head and studied the floor. “It hasn’t been easy, but she’s always been tough. She’ll figure it out.”
“And you? Are you going to be able to figure this shit out?” Before I had a chance to respond, he continued, “Being a brother of this club means more than wearing a patch, son. You’ve gotta be able to keep a level head, maintain control—even when it feels like there’s none to be had. You also need to follow fucking orders. You think you’ll to be able to manage that?”
“Yes, sir. I give you my word.”
“Good. That’s what I was hoping to hear.” He stood up and said, “Met your friend last night. Seems like a nice girl.”
“Yes, sir. I think so.”
“She have any luck finding a place for the dog?”
Hoping he might’ve been able to convince Sama
ntha to keep her, I answered, “No, sir. You wanna take her off my hands?”
“Wish I could. She’s clearly a smart dog, but she’s just too damn big.” He chuckled as he made his way around his desk. As I stood up, he continued, “You’re looking for a place of your own, aren’t ya?”
“I am.”
“Maybe you should consider keeping her. Not often a dog like her comes around.”
“I’m thinking about it.”
“Good.” He slapped me on the back, “Rider said you were heading over to his place to discuss Monday’s run.”
I’d been on runs before but hadn’t had the opportunity to be with the guys during a pipeline run. Along with our own, we’d be hauling cargo from four other chapters down to Mobile, so there was no room for any mistakes, especially from me—not after I’d already fucked up. I nodded as I replied, “That’s the plan.”
“All right. Let me know if you have any questions when he’s done.”
“Will do.”
With that, I walked out of his office and, with Duchess in tow, down the hall to my room. After I fed her and filled her water bowl, I fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. While I was lying there and thinking about everything that’d happened over the past twenty-four hours, I caught a hint of Landry’s perfume. And just like that, all I could think about was how good she’d felt in my arms. I hated to think that I might’ve lost her, especially when I hadn’t had the chance to explain myself. The thought had me reaching for my phone. Noticing that she hadn’t returned my calls, I sent her a text, telling her we needed to talk but there was no response. I tried not to let it fuck with my head, but it did, nonetheless. Hoping a distraction might help get my mind off things, I got up, then Duchess and I headed towards the bar. After last night’s party, I needed to double-check the inventory and finish cleaning up anyway.