by Wilder, L.
“Umm, no. Actually, he’s just fine.” She leaned over to the nurse in the next cubicle and said, “Hey, Michele. JT’s parents are here.”
When the nurse turned around, I could see that she was carrying JT in her arms. As she rushed over to us, she said, “Oh! I’m so sorry. We usually don’t have babies his size around here, and I just can’t seem to put the little guy down.”
“So, he’s doing okay?”
“Oh, yes.” The nurse bent down and placed JT in Alyssa’s arms. “He’s doing more than okay.”
Tears filled Alyssa’s eyes as she looked down at our son and said, “He’s perfect.”
“Yes, he is.” Katie leaned over to me and said, “I’m going to go get him a bottle so she can try and feel him.”
“Sounds good.”
When the two nurses turned and walked away, I grabbed one of the empty chairs and moved it over next to Alyssa, and as I sat down, I watched her run the tip over her finger down his tiny nose. “Hey there, handsome. It’s your momma. I’ve missed you so much.”
He nestled up next her like he’d done it a million times, and that’s all it took. Alyssa’s worries about him not knowing her quickly faded, and with a look of complete wonder, she stared down at him as she whispered, “There’s someone else here who’d like to meet you, sweet boy. This is your daddy.” She towards me, and as she positioned JT in my arms, she continued to talk to him softly. “Your momma didn’t tell him she was pregnant with you, so he was kind of surprised to find out about you. But I can tell just by looking at him that he loves you very much.”
“That I do.” I looked down at my boy, and my heart swelled with emotion. Damn. I always thought of myself as a pretty strong, tough guy, but as I sat there with JT in my arms, it was all I could do to keep myself from crying like damn school girl. He was just so beautiful, so perfect, and he was mine. For the first time in my life, that empty void in my heart was completely full. It was that feeling that inspired me to say, “Alyssa, I’ll leave it all behind. If that’s what you want, I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“What are you talking about, Beckett?”
“The club has been my whole life for as long as I can remember, but for you and JT, I’m willing to give it all up. You two are the most important thing in my life now, and if…”
“No, Beckett.” She reached over and placed the palm of her hand on my cheek. “I would never ask you to give up your brothers or the club. Besides, I want them to be a part of our lives. I want what you and Hyde talked about. I want us all to be a family and share our lives together.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” Her eyes met mine as she said, “I just want us to be together. For things to be like the were before. Do you think we can do that?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, it’s not going to be easy, especially with a baby in the mix, but I want to try. I love you, and I want us to have a life together.”
“I feel the same, and that’s why I think you two should move in with me.”
“Wait…really?” she gasped. “We haven’t even been in the same room together for almost eight months, and now, you want us to move in together?”
“Sure do. The sooner the better.” I looked down at JT as I told her, “We’ve already wasted too much time, and I don’t want to miss another second of being with the two of you.”
She thought for a moment, then smiled. “Okay. I’m in.”
And just like that, my girl was back, and I had a son to boot. As far as I was concerned, life couldn’t have been any better.
CHAPTER 20
Alyssa
When Beckett asked me to move in with him, I had my reservations. We’d been apart for so many months, and even when we were together, it was only late at night when he’d stop by my place after work. I worried that we were fooling ourselves in thinking that we could just slip back into what we had before, but to my pleasant surprise, things were going better than I could’ve expected. When I was released from the hospital, Beckett brought me to his place, and to my surprise, all of my things were already there and in place. He’d even started working on a nursery for JT. He’d already started painting the room, and he’d put together the crib and changing table. I had no idea how he’d found the time to get it all done, especially with work and all the trips back and forth to the hospital. I think it got his mind off of JT having to stay in the NICU. While his oxygen levels had improved dramatically, he didn’t have much of an appetite. He had to be able to drink four to six ounces of breastmilk at a time before the doctors would release him, so we had no choice but to be patient.
It wasn’t easy. Being a first-time mother, leaving my son there in that hospital was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do, but I found a small comfort in knowing that he was in good hands. The nurses and doctors had been so sweet to us and had encouraged us to use the time he was there with them to prepare for the day that we finally got to bring JT home. While I worried about him every second we were apart, Beckett and I used the doctor’s advice, and we were able to finish the nursery and had everything ready for JT when he finally got to come home.
Things weren’t exactly easy those first few nights he was home. I’d read all the baby books. I knew as he mother that I should sleep whenever he did, but that simply didn’t work for me. I was too busy hovering over him like a worry-wart, checking every few seconds to make sure he was not only breathing, but had a dry diaper and a full belly. I was wearing myself out, and Beckett knew it. I was in the nursery rocking JT when he came in, reached down and took the baby from my arms. Confused, I asked, “What are you doing?”
“I’m taking over baby duty. You are going to go take a hot bath and get in the bed.” He extended his free hand and helped me up. “And before you even think about arguing…don’t…You aren’t doing anyone any good like this. You need to get some sleep, and you know it.”
“But…”
“No buts, babe. You’re getting some sleep.” Beckett leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. “Your hot bath is waiting for you.”
“Okay. O-kay. You win.”
“Yeah, I usually do,” he teased.
“Hey, don’t push it, mister.”
“What?” He sat down with a smirk and started rocking JT. “I’m just telling it like it is.”
“Um-hmm. Whatever you say, boss.” I was just about to walk out of the bursary, when I stopped and glanced over my shoulder. “Hey, Beckett?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“You got nothing to thank me for, freckles.”
“You’re wrong.” She leaned against the door frame and yawned. “You moved us into your home and finished the nursery. You’ve been so good with JT, and …”
“Alyssa…I know what you’re doing,” he fussed. “Stop procrastinating and get into the tub before your water gets cold.”
“Fine.” I giggled as I started down the hall. “I’m going.”
When I stepped into the bathroom, I was surprised to find candles scattered around the room, and the tub filled with hot water and bubbles. I don’t know why I was so surprised. Beckett always seemed to know exactly what I needed. With a smile on my face, I slipped off my sweats and dirty t-shirt, and the second I eased into the soothing water, I could feel the tension in my muscles start to subside. I closed my eyes, and it wasn’t long before I was completely relaxed. By the time I was done washing my hair and shaving my legs, I felt like a limp noodle and could barely get out of the tub. After I dried off, I slipped on my pajamas and went into the bedroom. I was just about to crawl into bed when I decided to go check in on Beckett and JT. I started towards the door, but quickly stopped when I heard Beckett shout, “To bed, Lyssa!”
“I just wanted to make sure …”
“He’s fine, babe. Just fed him and about to give him a bath.” His tone grew firm as he ordered, “Now stop worrying and get some sleep.”
I giggled as I
turned back towards the bed and shouted, “So bossy!”
Doing as I was told, I crawled into bed, and for the first time in days, I slept—really slept. When I woke up the next morning, I rolled over to find that I was in the bed alone. Worried, I threw the covers back and rushed to the nursery only to find Beckett sound asleep in the rocking chair with JT sleeping soundly on his bare chest. It was a sight that made my heart swell with so much love I thought it might burst. Being careful not to wake them, I tiptoed over to Becket and slipped my hands under JT, gently lifting him from Beckett’s chest and laying him down in his crib. I’d just gotten him settled when I heard Beckett ask, “Did you get some sleep?”
“Yes, thanks to you.” I turned and walked over to him, kissing him briefly before I said, “I’ve got him. Go get in the bed and get some sleep.”
“Look who’s being bossy now.”
“What can I say?” I gave him a wink. “You bring it out in me.”
“Um-hmm.” He got up, and in a sleepy haze, he started towards the bedroom. “Landry and Hyde will be here around ten, so make sure you wake me up in a couple of hours.”
“Sure thing.”
When I heard him get into bed, I checked on JT once more, then headed into the kitchen Hoping to clean up a little while I had the chance. I put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, washed a load of clothes, and even managed to get dressed before JT finally woke up. Hoping to get to him before he woke Beckett, I rushed into the nursery and quickly picked him up. “Hey there, buddy.”
I carried him over to the changing table and changed his diaper, before going into the kitchen to make him a bottle. He was fussy, but as soon as I gave him the bottle, he started to settle. It was good to see him eating so well, especially after all the trouble we’d had getting him to eat when he was in the NICU. I carried him into the living room and sat down in Beckett’s oversized recliner. As I fed him, I looked around the room, and it seemed strange how much it already felt like home to me. Maybe it was the fact that so many of my things were scattered around the house, but I had a feeling there was something more to it—like the fact that Beckett was there. As crazy as it may sound, he was my home, and in his arms, I’d found everything I’d always wanted and more.
When JT finished his bottle, I laid him down on my lap with his back against my legs, so I could get a better look at him. I was studying his adorable, little fingers and toes when Beckett came into the room. He was still his sleep pants with no shirt, and even though he still seemed to be in a sleepy haze, the man was looking all kinds of sexy. It was just another reminder that I couldn’t have sex for another six weeks which wasn’t easy considering the fact that it had been so long since we’d been together. His brows furrowed as he asked, “What happened to you waking me up?”
“It hasn’t been two hours yet.”
“Actually, it’s been three.” He kissed my forehead, and then turned his attention to JT. “How’s it going, big man?”
“He’s been changed and fed, so I’d say he’s doing pretty good.”
He leaned down and gave me a kiss before asking, “You want some coffee?”
“That would be great.”
Beckett nodded, then went into the kitchen. He was just starting to make us a pot of coffee when there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, I could hear Clay say, “Damn, brother. You’re looking a little rough around the edges.”
“Lack of sleep will do that to a man.” As he started back into the kitchen, Beckett continued, “Y’all come on in. I was just making some coffee.”
“Where’s JT?” Landry asked sounding excited. “I can’t wait to see him.”
“He’s in here with me.” As she made her way into the living room, I told her, “He’s been waiting to meet you.”
Landry rushed over to me, and as she looked down at JT, her eyes filled with emotion. “Oh, Alyssa. He’s so precious.”
“Thank you.” I carefully picked him up and offered him to her. “Would you like to hold him?”
“Are you kidding?” She took him in her arms. “I’d love to.”
She carried him over to the sofa and sat down. She cradled JT close to her chest as she stared down at him with the biggest smile. When Clay walked in, he went straight over to Landry and sat down next to her, peering over at JT. “Boy, he’s really something, isn’t he?”
“Yes,” Landry replied. “He makes me want to have a baby.”
“I’d be good with that.”
Surprise crossed Landry’s face as she asked, “Really?”
“Absolutely.” Clay ran his hand over JT’s little head. “Bet the big guy here would like to have some cousins to play with it.”
“I’m sure he would.” I smiled as I added, “And I would love to have a couple of nieces and nephews running around.”
“Well, it’s definitely something to think about.” Landry turned her attention to me as she said, “The girls and I were talking, and we’d really like to have a baby shower for you and JT next week. We could do it over at the clubhouse so we’d have enough room for the guys to be there, too.”
“That’s really sweet, but you don’t have to do that.”
“We want to, and I know the guys would love to meet JT.”
It meant so much to me that he even thought about having a baby shower for us, especially after the way I’d behaved, but I was still in that overprotective mother mode and wasn’t sure that it was a good idea to have him around so many people. Sending my concern, Clay looked over to me and said, “I’m sure you’re worried about JT just getting out of the NICU and all, but Mom’s supposed to be coming down this weekend for a few days. She could take him down to one of the spare rooms and watch him while we have it.”
“Umm…well.” I turned to Beckett as I asked, “What do you think?”
“I think it’d be okay.” He brought me a cup of coffee as he continued, “But it’s completely up to you.”
“Come on, Alyssa,” Clay pushed. “It’ll be fine. Besides, it will be good for you to get out of the house for a bit.”
“Okay. I’m in.” I smiled as I told them both, “I really appreciate you guys going to the trouble.”
“It’s no trouble, Alyssa.” Landry looked down at JT with a smile. “We’ll use just about any excuse to have a gathering, and there couldn’t be a better excuse than this little guy right here.”
Clay and Landry stayed for a cup of coffee and doted on JT for just over an hour, then headed home. Over the next couple of days, Beckett and I slipped into a manageable routine. In the morning, he’d get up and take care of changing JT and gave him his bottle before he headed into work, and while he was gone, I took over. JT was a good napper, so I was able to get a few things done around the house while he slept. I was even to get a little cooking done. Being in the kitchen made me miss being at the restaurant, but not enough to make me want to go back. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do after my maternity leave was over. I was tempted to just stay home with JT, but I’d really worked hard to secure my spot on the line. It was a thought that made me think back on the day I’d presented my dish to Boucher and Bisset. I’d spent hours making the perfect Coq au vin which was basically chicken braised with wine, mushrooms, pork, and a drop of brandy. To my surprise, they were both so impressed that they offered me a full-time position on the line. I couldn’t have been more proud of myself, but at the same, I was really enjoying my time at home with JT. I had a tough decision ahead of me, but thankfully, I had plenty of time to think it over.
When the day came for the shower, I was still feeling a little apprehensive about taking JT out and about, especially when we pulled up to the clubhouse and I saw how many people were there. Thankfully, having my mother there helped set my mind at ease. A warm smile crossed her face as she said, “It’s going to be fine. Just let the guys meet him, and then, I’ll take him to one of the back rooms.”
“And you’ll come get me if you need me?”
“Yes, sweetheart, but I
’m not going to need you. JT and I will be just fine.”
“Okay.”
It was comforting to know that she was so good with him, and I had no doubt that she’d take great care of him while we were busy with the shower. As we started towards the door, Beckett looked over to me and asked, “You ready?”
“I think so.”
I repositioned JT in his slinger carrier, and with him nestled close to my chest, I followed Beckett inside the clubhouse. When we entered the family room, I was surprised to see that the entire room was filled with Beckett’s brothers and their ol’ ladies. Not only that, it was also beautifully decorated with blue balloons, streamers, and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers resting in the middle of all the food and drinks on the back table. It couldn’t have been more perfect. When Landry saw us walk in, she rushed over and asked, “What do you think?”
“It’s amazing, Landry. I can’t believe y’all did all this.”
“We wanted to make today special for both you and JT.”
“Well, you did a fabulous job.”
We hadn’t been talking long when Murphy and Riley came over. They both took a moment to meet JT and congratulate Beckett and I once again for the birth of our son. As soon as they walked away, Shadow and Alex came over, keeping their distance as they met our son for the first time. One by one, each of the brothers and their wives came over to pay their respects, being careful not to bombard us all at once. Once everyone had come by to say their hellos, Mom came over and took JT to the spare room as planned. Knowing I was feeling a little overwhelmed, Beckett took my hand and led me over to one of the tables where Landry and Clay were sitting. As I sat down, he asked, “You want me to grab ya some food?”