by Cora Reilly
I nodded, biting my lip, torn between embarrassment, anger, and giddiness.
“And?”
“Don’t tell me you want me to describe his you-know-what!” I wouldn’t even know where to start. Even that part of Savio had been magnificent and a bit intimidating if I was being honest.
“Was he excited?”
I covered my face with my hands. “Toni…”
“Come on, tell me.”
“No, he wasn’t. Not really.” He hadn’t exactly been soft, but not hard either. But what did I know?
I fixed her with a stare. “Now it’s your turn to answer my questions. What’s going on between you and Diego? I thought you weren’t in love with him anymore.”
Toni shrugged. “I’m not in love with him.. A few weeks ago, he had business here. Dad wasn’t there so we talked. We hit it off, so we met again and then it happened.”
“You kissed?”
She looked away, and my mouth fell open. “Don’t tell me you slept with my brother?”
Toni looked down at her hands. “It just happened.”
“You had your first time with Diego and didn’t tell me?”
The images forming in my head were too disturbing to bear. Toni had slept with Diego. Dread filled me, remembering Diego’s words. He would marry for tactical purposes. Toni’s family had some money due to the Arena, but they weren’t well-respected in the Camorra. A marriage to her wouldn’t improve my brother’s standing.
She nodded slowly. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing to me? You had to sleep with him.”
“I wanted to.” She sighed. “I know that you think sex belongs in a marriage, that your family is traditional, so I was ashamed to tell you. I was worried what you’d think of me, and I didn’t want Diego to get into trouble.”
Diego wouldn’t get into trouble for sleeping with a girl. He’d been sleeping with girls before and Dad didn’t really care. Then part of what Toni had said registered in me. I hugged her tightly. “You are a dumbass, you know that? I’d never judge you for sleeping with a guy, even if that guy is my idiot of a brother. You can do whatever you want, Toni. I love you. If you want to have sex, then that’s only your decision.”
It wouldn’t give her bonus points in our still very traditional society. The mafia didn’t play by the rules of the outside world, even the Camorra.
She released a shaky breath and I realized how much this must have bothered her. “I’m so glad that you know. It was horrible not being able to talk to anyone about Diego and me.”
Diego and Toni. I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
I pulled back. “Are you dating?”
“We didn’t really put a label on what we have, but I think we are.” She didn’t sound certain.
“So how was it?” Then I grimaced, realizing that Toni would have to tell me about doing it with my brother. I really wasn’t ready for that conversation. At least it distracted me from Savio’s impossible behavior.
Toni made a face. “Do you really want to know?”
I didn’t, but Toni was my friend and I could tell that she wanted to share. “Yes, but please be vague.”
Toni giggled and I fell in. Her expression became tender—in love, and suddenly I was worried for her. I’d have to talk to Diego the moment he picked me up. “He was very careful. I didn’t think he could be like this. He kept asking me if I was okay.”
I tried to keep a neutral face, which was difficult, considering I was imagining Diego with Toni. She regarded me with a knowing look. “You’re freaked out, right?”
“It takes some getting used to.”
“I know,” she said. “But wouldn’t it be amazing if we became sisters-in-law?” Alarm bells rang in my head. I wanted nothing more than that, but I wasn’t sure about Diego.
My thoughts drifted back to Savio. Toni had taken what she wanted, without care and worry. She was free to do so. Her family wasn’t traditional.
Not to mention that Diego, unlike Savio wasn’t chasing after every skirt.
“What are you thinking?” Toni asked gently.
“Savio. He’s driving me crazy.”
“Do you want to sleep with him?”
“I do,” I admitted. “But not like this. I just can’t allow closeness outside of a committed relationship.”
Toni smiled. “Then don’t. If he wants you, he needs to work for it. He knew what he signed up for when he agreed to marry you.”
Sometimes I wasn’t sure if he really knew.
I was on my way to my car to search for Gemma. She’d overreacted, but my worry forced me to look for her anyway.
Diego shot into the parking lot and came to a stop with squealing tires. The pissed-as-fuck look on his face could only mean he’d found her first.
He jumped out of the car, not even bothering to close the door before he stormed toward me. I braced myself. I wasn’t in the mood for a split lip again.
Diego shoved me hard, causing me to stumble a step back. “What the fuck did you do to my sister?”
“I didn’t do anything.” I frowned. “What the fuck do you think I did?”
“What do I know? You can never keep your hands to yourself. Gemma looked a mess. Maybe you thought you could steal a taste before the wedding. We both know how bad at patience you are.”
I locked gazes with him. “I really hope you’re not suggesting that I forced myself on Gemma.”
He scoffed. “If that were the case, you’d be dead.” He shook his head, taking a deep breath. “What happened, Savio?”
I shrugged. “She kept checking me out, so I showed her my bull tattoo. You should have seen her face.” I laughed, couldn’t help it.
Fury contorted Diego’s expression. “You can’t fucking do this! Do you get it?” Diego snarled into my face. “My sister’s never seen a naked man and she wasn’t supposed to until her fucking wedding night. You had no fucking right to show her your dick.”
I had to resist the urge to beat the shit out of him. His tone really pissed me off. Instead, I smirked. “I showed her my tattoo. Besides, I already own your sister, Diego. The ring says it and everyone knows it. She’ll see me naked for the rest of her life. So what does it matter?”
He shook with rage. “It matters. She’s honorable, and you should treat her with respect. I’ll say this again, don’t you dare try to touch her before she’s officially yours.”
“Or what?” I challenged.
“I’ll kill you.”
I gave him a dark smile. “You won’t succeed, Diego. You know I’m the better fighter. I’ve killed and tortured so many more than you.”
“Then I’ll die trying. I don’t care,” he said fiercely, and I could tell he meant it. Diego was my friend, and while I didn’t trust him like I did my brothers, I did trust him to some degree.
“Calm the fuck down, all right? Why don’t you allow Gemma to decide what she wants to do before our wedding?”
“She wants to wait until her wedding. It’s what we believe in!”
“Oh, is that so? Are you magically going to re-virginize yourself before your wedding night?”
As usual, Diego avoided my eyes when I mentioned his goddamn hypocrisy. “That’s not even a word.”
“Nice comeback,” I deadpanned.
He glared. “You’re pretty good at hypocrisy yourself.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Come on, you keep sleeping around as if there’s no tomorrow but mark my sister as yours so nobody as much as looks at her.”
“It’s your tradition that forces me to wait for her. If it was up to me, I’d have fucked her already. Maybe you don’t want to see it, but she wants it too.”
Diego returned to his car and drove off without another word.
I went into the gym at four the next day. Gemma’s usual workout time.
Gemma was pummeling the boxing bag when I entered. She was alone, but Diego couldn’t be far. Her eyes darted to me then she quickly looke
d away. She was flushed, and I wondered if it was still because she’d seen my dick or from exertion. She ignored me as I approached her. Eventually, she gripped the sides of the bag, breathing harshly.
“Your brother wants to kill me.”
She didn’t say anything, only glared ahead. I moved closer and finally, her eyes met mine.
“He thinks he can tell me what to do.” I took another step toward her so we were almost touching. She raised her head to meet my gaze.
“I think it’s between us what we do before and after our wedding.”
Gemma laughed bitterly. “You don’t get it.”
“Oh, I get that you’ve been hot for me for years and I don’t see why we can’t have fun before we’re married.”
Gemma shoved the bag away, turned on her heel and stormed off. I jogged after her and finally caught up with her in the next room. I backed her into the wall, peering down at her cleavage in the sports bra. She looked up at me. “I’m not one of your other girls, Savio. I’ve been brought up traditionally by my family. My mother raised me with strict values. I believe in the sacred bond of marriage. I believe in giving myself to my husband, and no one else. Nothing will change that. And even a Falcone can’t.”
Surprise washed over me at the vehemence in her voice and the fierceness in her eyes. She meant it. There was not a hint of doubt in her expression. Her crush had led me to believe that she might be open to a bit of playing outside of the rules. Now I realized I might have misjudged her.
“I’ll be your husband soon, and then everything is mine.”
“But you aren’t yet,” she said firmly. “And until then I won’t give you anything. My family will seek retribution if you take something. They won’t care that you are a Falcone. They will protect my honor.”
Diego’s words from last night flashed in my head, and my anger spiked once more. “They would die.”
She swallowed. “Maybe.”
I leaned down, regarding her olive eyes, resolute and anxious. “They won’t have to seek retribution, Gem. If you want to wait until marriage, I won’t push you.”
Suspicion filled her face. “You won’t? That’s not your usual style.”
My smile widened. She was right. I loved to push her buttons, and it would be difficult not to keep doing so, but this was different. While my brothers and I weren’t Traditionalists, we respected our men and their families, and that included their old-fashioned values. Remo kept reminding me of that fact repeatedly.
Besides, it gave me a thrill knowing that Gemma would only be mine alone, even if the wait until our marriage would prove tricky. But I had other girls for fucking and sucking until then. Maybe the wait would add even more thrill to our wedding night. I tilted my head, bringing our faces closer. Gemma was the full package. Choir girl and sex bomb, a lethal combination of heaven and hell. Being around her, you couldn’t help but want to be sinner and saint, only so you could be closer to her.
“Savio…” Gemma said in warning, bringing her palms up against my chest.
I got that she didn’t want to have sex before our wedding night, but why deprive herself of all the other fun things I could show her? “Is a kiss really so bad? Your mouth is so fucking kissable.”
“Well, your mouth is coming around too much for my taste. You’ve probably kissed more lady parts than most toilet seats.”
My arms gave in from the force of my laughter. Fuck, Gemma was one of a kind. Resting my forehead against the wall, my body pressed into Gemma. “Lady parts?” I repeated between chuckles as I tilted my head down.
Gemma raised her head. We were so fucking close, her lips were begging for me to bridge the few inches between us. “How about you call them what everyone does? Pussy.”
Her cheeks turned red. “I’m not going to take that word into my mouth.” She pushed harder against my chest, but I didn’t budge.
“I’d love to have your pussy in my mouth,” I growled, and doing my usual routine without even thinking about it, I ground myself against the woman in front of me to show her what she was doing to me.
Gemma tensed, her eyes widening in shock. She jerked her knee up and hit my balls. Pain shot through my body and I groaned. She quickly slipped out under my arm and stormed away. “That’s called Bull’s eye!”
Fuck. Anger surged through me. I chased her despite the fucking throbbing in my balls, and I grabbed her wrist. She whirled on me. “Don’t do that ever again,” I growled.
She narrowed her eyes. “How about this then?” She swung her fist at me, aiming straight for my nose. My arm shot up, blocking her assault. I’d been fighting in the cage for years now against guys weighing twice as much as Gemma. She was a good fighter for a small girl, but that was it. I gripped her other wrist and jerked her against me, holding her fast. Her hair had come undone from her ponytail and framed her face in wild curls. “Apologize,” she seethed.
My eyebrows shot up. “I’m not the one who smashed his knee into your lady parts.”
“Apologize for disrespecting me.”
I regarded her. She was dead serious.
“If anyone else treated me the way you just did…”
“I’d cut his dick off and let him bleed out,” I finished.
“Do you want people to think I’m someone who can be disrespected? Do you want people to call me your slut like they do your other girls?”
“Nobody would dare because you are my fucking fiancée, because you’ll be a Falcone. That’s a fucking big difference.”
“Then treat me different to your sluts.”
I sighed. “Fine, Kitty. I’ll honor your boundaries from this day on if that’s what you want.”
“I do.”
She’d be the one who had to get herself off with her own hand while I’d just do what I’d always done. The thought of Gemma touching herself wedged itself into my brain.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked suspiciously.
I stepped back with a smirk. “Don’t you need to head home to prepare for your confession this Sunday?”
“You should consider confessing.”
“I don’t want to give the pastor a heart attack.”
Diego came to pick me up. He’d only dropped me off at the gym, claiming he had something to do. I suspected that something was Toni. I’d ask her later. He’d avoided me since I’d caught him with Toni yesterday, had spent our entire drive talking to Dad on the phone as if their conversation about the new opening hours of the Capri couldn’t wait until we were home.
Diego nodded a greeting at Savio who returned it. I used the chance to step away from him and grabbed my gym bag before I followed my brother outside without another look at Savio. “Anything I need to know?” Diego asked when we were in the car.
“No. Anything I need to know about Toni and you?”
His mouth tightened as he started the car and pulled on the street. “There’s no Antonia and me.”
“Really? It didn’t sound that way when she told me about you two.”
He slanted me a wary look. “You talked about me?”
“She’s my best friend, Diego. So, are you two dating?”
Diego made a small noise that could have been confirmation or denial, I couldn’t tell. When I didn’t stop staring, he sighed. “No, we’re not dating, Gemma, and we won’t.”
“But you took Toni’s virginity!”
Diego looked as if he considered jumping out of the driving car. I couldn’t take his comfort into consideration when Toni’s heart was on the line.
“She talked to you about that?” he growled.
“Of course, she did.”
“We’re just having fun, Gemma. Antonia hasn’t been brought up with our values. Her virginity doesn’t have the same importance in her life.”
“Are you serious?” I hissed. “That doesn’t mean it didn’t mean anything. My God, Diego, can you be any more of an asshole?”
“Don’t stick your nose in my business, especially my sex li
fe.”
“I couldn’t care less about your sex life if it didn’t involve my best friend!” I paused. “And ditto, by the way, concerning my sex life with Savio.”
Diego jerked. After a glance at me, he relaxed. “You don’t have a sex life.”
“Yet,” I said, enjoying the tortured look on my brother’s face.
Savio didn’t try to initiate anything in the months that followed. No word about marriage either. He kept visiting Diego like he’d done in the past, but he’d returned to treating me with a distant respect and the occasional teasing. It wasn’t really what I’d hoped for. I’d thought he’d make an effort, not pull back entirely.
It was the beginning of April—Savio’s twenty-second birthday, and I baked a cake for him. Even if things between us were currently more distant, I wanted to surprise him with it. One of us had to make an effort, at least.
My phone rang when I was about to pull the cake out of the oven. Nonna frowned, still not happy with me having my own cell phone, but she removed the cake for me. I sent her a smile before I picked up.
“Hey Toni, what’s up?”
“Nothing.”
She didn’t sound like nothing. “Toni?”
Nonna watched me closely. Her feelings toward Toni hadn’t changed, and she didn’t even know about her and Diego. No one did, except for me.
I headed into the living room, away from Nonna’s watchful eyes. Mom was playing on the floor with Carlotta, who had been getting worse. She’d need a heart transplant soon, if we found a heart for her and if Dad got the money we needed for her treatment.
I touched Carlotta’s head in passing.
Toni sniffled and my insides tightened. She, unlike me, wasn’t a crier. “Diego broke things off today.”
I froze. Diego had refused to talk to me about Toni, and she had kept seeing him despite my veiled warning that he might not be serious about her. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t say much. He didn’t have much time. Apparently, he’s helping Savio with his birthday party.”
“Party?” I echoed. I hadn’t been invited to a party. A suspicion wormed its way into my head.