by A. R. Perry
But then she did.
Her dad walked out on them a week before school started. Try as I might, I couldn’t pull myself out of my grief to help with hers. Even though she had tried to be my rock. That summer childhood ended, and we realized life wasn’t always good. Fun didn’t last and love certainly didn’t.
That’s what I tried to tell myself when I saw her in the halls that fall. But as my grief faded and my heart opened back up, Lily’s had done the opposite. I was too late.
“You don’t have to be sorry.” My thumb traced a circle across edge of her hand. They had gotten softer since we were kids.
“I miss her too, you know. Being in this house. I feel her.”
Tears threatened me. I hadn’t cried since her funeral, but for some reason, sitting in the house she died in, talking with the girl I lost, my emotions flared to life all at once reminding me that I wasn’t made of stone and sarcasm.
“Want to check out the hot tub?” Lily offered with a shake of our hands. “I’ve been eyeballing it since we got here.”
Hell yes came to mind. Instead I said, “Why are you being so nice all of a sudden? Don’t you hate my guts?”
Lily sat back in the chair arms crossed. “I don’t hate you, Parker.” She caught my skeptical look. “Okay, so I have had many, many moments where I loathed you. But no matter how many times I thought I hated you when you would push my buttons and be an all-around jackass, I couldn’t. You’ll always be a huge part of my life. A lot of happy memories are tied up in you.”
Lily took a swig of her pop. “But I’ll deny ever saying any of this, so don’t get any ideas about telling people.”
The sadness gripping my heart lessened, allowing me to return to my normal self. “Man, too bad I have it recorded.” I waved my phone and Lily’s eyes widened. Total lie, but she didn’t know that.
“You do not!” She reached across the table, swiping for the phone, but I jumped up and out of her reach. “I take back everything I said. Parker Hayes is a jackass.”
“Not recording anymore, Lil. But now I’ll forever have your love saved on my phone.”
“Parker, hand over the phone.” Lily skirted around the table and I backed up into the living room. “I’m serious. Madison catches one word of that and she’ll never let it drop.”
I took another step backward as she advanced. I’d seen that look many times, she was seconds away from rushing me much like she had when I would take one of her things just to mess with her. “All of my childhood happiness is because of you,” I mocked in the best girly tone I could muster.
“That is not what I said.”
“It’s what I heard.”
“Parker, give me the phone or I swear I’ll—”
I dodged her grabbing hand, holding the phone high above my head. “You’ll what, Lil?”
She didn’t answer, instead she charged, catching me off balance and knocking me over the arm of the couch. I landed on my back, the air pressing out of my lungs as she landed on top of me. The phone flew across the room, clattering to the ground somewhere past the coffee table.
Lily burst out laughing and rubbed at a red spot on her forehead. “Your chest is made of stone. I think your dad should let you eat a few burgers now and then.”
“First you love me, now you’re talking about my hot body? What’s gotten into you, Holladay?”
“Shut up.” Lily smacked my chest. That was it. Neither one of us attempted to move. Even as my palm settled on her lower back and our labored breathing forced our chests together.
Silence stretched between us and for once I had no words. All of them gone. Evaporated into nothing when our eyes met. Electricity flowed through my veins, the strange tingling forcing my hand to the side of her face where I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
A boat horn blared on the water outside the front window. Tension broke and Lily snapped out of it first.
“So…” Lily cleared her throat and used my chest to push herself up, copping a feel along the way. Not that I minded.
“Want to check out the hot tub now? I mean I’ve clearly whooped your ass in Bullshit so no point continuing.” She held her hand out to me.
“Just trying to get me topless again, Holladay?” I grab on before she could take it back.
“So full of yourself, Hayes.” Lily backed up the second I was standing. “But if you don’t want to…”
“No,” I said a little too quickly. So quickly in fact that there was no smooth way to recover. It didn’t stop me from trying. “It would make me a sore loser if I couldn’t sit out there and take the inevitable gloating from the whooping you gave me and not just in cards. Nice tackle, by the way.” I ended the sentence with a soft shoulder punch that left Lily looking confused.
“So…I’ll meet you up there?”
“Sure.” I ran my fingers through my hair to give myself something to do besides stand there looking like an idiot. “I’ll grab us a few pops and meet you up there.”
Lily nodded and headed off to her room. The second she was out of sight I let out a long breath. She had to think I was unstable. There was a possibility I was.
Shaking my head, I headed into the kitchen. Clear my thoughts, that’s all I needed to do. We were on the right track. Talking. Laughing. Touching. If I could keep myself centered, then all had to worry about was aligning her feelings to mine. Easy.
Luckily for me, I already had my swim trunks on. Earlier, before the run-in, I had planned to spend the day lakeside avoiding her and never got around to changing.
I grabbed two Cokes from the fridge and headed up to the deck. On my way outside I flipped on the radio and used my phone to set up a little less screamy radio station on Pandora. I settled on a 2000s channel, with songs we used to listen to as kids.
By the time I had the cover off and the bubbles going, Lily joined me dressed in the hideous shirt-dress-thing.
“So I have to ask.” I pointed to her attire. “Mom pick that out?”
“Pretty much.” She grinned, dipping her hand into the water. “Perfect temperature.”
I nodded and slipped my shirt off, tossing it on a nearby lounge chair. “Dad must have this serviced in the off-season or something.”
“Does he rent the place out? I remember how gorgeous it was up here during Christmas.”
“I dunno.” The water warmed my muscles as I sank inside. The real reason my dad got it was so I could soak after he killed me out on the lake practicing. When I refused to come up, it pretty much became a waste of money.
Lily stood by the side, chewing on her lip.
“Are you gonna stare or join me?”
Her fingers played with the little dangly strings hanging off the hem of her shirt before nodding and pulling it up over her head.
My heart stopped. My mouth dropped open. And I was fairly certain my eyes bugged out of my head. Lily’s cheeks flamed red as she moved to get into the hot tub. I had seen her in a bathing suit before, but always a one-piece and over the past few years it was from a distance.
The scraps of fabric that clung to her body left little to the imagination, and that’s saying something because my imagination could come up with a lot. None of my wayward thoughts over the years added up to the woman who stood in front of me. Four years changed her from the scrawny tomboy into a knock-out, filling out in all the right places. Places she hid behind modest clothing most days. Places I wanted my hands to roam every second of the day.
She sank into the water with a moan, cutting off my train of thought and the view of those flirty flowers covering the most intimate part of her chest. I could feel her staring at me and I had to will myself to meet her gaze.
The first words in my head flew right out. “So… I’m assuming your mom didn’t pick out the bikini?”
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I closed my eyes and sank lower into the water wishing to disappear completely.
Lily chuckled and reached for her pop. “No. I’m actually surprise
d she got it, honestly. Maybe she was hoping I would seduce you and we would give her the perfect little grandbabies she has been dreaming about since we were kids.”
“What?” I sputtered, sitting up higher before I inhaled water.
“That came out wrong,” Lily laughed, letting her face fall into her cupped palms. “What I meant was that my mom always thought we would end up together or something. Maybe she saw this as our chance.” Lily peeked at me and shrugged.
“Well…I never knew that.”
“I never told you.”
With nothing to say I took a drink of my Coke. Good to know I had her mom on my side. Then again, maybe Lily was wrong and Ms. Holladay gave up on me around the same time Lily did.
“The days seem to by flying by much faster here than back home.” Lily dragged a hand through the bubbles. “What do you want to do tomorrow? Any wild plans you want to get out before your dad comes up?”
I could only think of one that included Lily and me naked in my bed, but that was quickly shoved aside when the friend part of me—the guy who had known her since we were in diapers—took over.
“If you’re saying you want to throw some crazy party, get it out now.”
Lily snorted. “I couldn’t even stand Hunter’s party. Besides, why would I want a bunch of people defiling this amazing hot tub. I’d never be able to get in it again.” She kicked back her head, letting her body float up to the surface.
Her legs skimmed mine on the way up, making my heart flutter at the soft touch. If I didn’t know any better, if I wasn’t convinced she was only being nice for sake of our truce, I could have sworn she was flirting with me.
My gaze drifted up from her bright blue toenails to her slightly parted thighs. I slammed my eyes shut and forced my thoughts onto something else, something boring before I had a problem I was certain she would notice. And I didn’t want to spend all night in the hot tub.
“I say we spend tomorrow having a movie day. Fat pants and all.” Lily popped up out of the water, bringing her face close to mine and settling her hands on the top my thighs. Her hair clung to her shoulders in clumps, sending beads of water down her collarbone to her fantastic…
“What do you say, Hayes?”
I blinked a few times, trying to clear my thoughts but I couldn’t stop my gaze from drifting to her lips. She had a scar on her chin right below her bottom lip from a spill she took after I dared her to race me down an impossibly steep hill a couple of miles from the lake. She didn’t talk to me for almost a week. We were eleven, and it was the longest we ever went not speaking… Until we were thirteen.
Until the summer we stopped being friends.
I swallowed hard, my throat cramping from how tight it had gotten. Lily looked at me expectantly. Her body caging mine in. Somehow I figured the look wasn’t about the movie proposal.
Her hand drifted up my arm. The featherlight touch left goose bumps in its wake. “Is that a yes or no?” Her tongue trailed across her lip, leaving it glistening in the moonlight.
All I wanted to do is take that full bottom lip between my teeth and prove once and for all she wasn’t capable of hating me. Not when I could make her feel so good.
But my body had other plans. Or I should say brain.
I jumped out of the water like I had been electrocuted. I might as well have been with how fast my heart was racing. It never even got to that speed during one of my dad’s murder practices.
Lily’s face fell as I reached for my shirt. “Sorry, I’m not feeling so good. Let’s, uh, let’s play tomorrow by ear, okay? I think I ate too much junk food or something. I’m not used to it.”
I left her there in the hot tub, staring at me like I had run over her dog.
Any chance I had with her was eradicated the second I turned down her very obvious offer.
I had never felt like more of an idiot. I left the girl I had dreamed about for years hanging because for some reason I had a hunch she was messing with me. Getting me back for all the years I had screwed with her. It would be the perfect revenge if she knew how deep my feeling went past friendship.
And somehow, I had an inkling she knew after our moment on the couch.
I couldn’t bear to get out of the bed next morning. So I didn’t. I laid there until midafternoon, replaying the night over and over in my head.
Each time it got more cringeworthy.
I had thrown myself at Parker and he turned me down so fast my head spun. Literally running out of the hot tub as if he might to catch something.
And the worst part, I had no idea why I did it. Nostalgia. That was the only explanation. Playing our old favorite game. Talking about our childhood. Being on the water. All those old feelings rushed to the surface and once again he slapped me in the face with them.
There was no way he wouldn’t use it against me the next chance he got.
I sent Madison my seventh SOS text of the day. Being the brat she was, it changed to read, but I never got a response. No three dots to let me know she at least acknowledged my mortification. No best friend words of advice. Knowing her, she wanted me alone on Parker island hoping that our hate would turn into lust. If she had been there to witness my epic fail she would already have rescued me.
The door across the hall opened and for three agonizing seconds I waited, expecting a knock on my door. Parker wouldn’t be able to last long without throwing what he considered desperation in my face. But it never came. Instead, I heard the front door slam closed and a few minutes later the sound of a car starting up.
My heart pole-vaulted into my throat at the thought of him ditching me. Totally a Parker move.
I rolled off the bed and stumbled across the floor, flinging the door open with shaky hands.
Did I want him to go?
Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I? Parker had been a thorn in my side since eighth grade and no amount of nostalgia or rippling muscles would change that.
A peek across the hall told me what I needed to know. A pair of jeans lay in a crumpled mess on his equally messed-up sheets. His bag also sat in the corner, tucked under his nightstand.
Okay, so he didn’t ditch me. Maybe he needed the same space I did. After all, whatever went down in the hot tub was confusing as hell to me. He must have been thinking the same thing.
With a heavy sigh I pressed a palm against my forehead. This could work. I could get through the week and the rest of the summer without Parker knowing about my severe lapse in judgment. All I had to do was find an attractive guy and let Parker see it. No harm, no embarrassing retelling when school started.
Since Parker left, it gave me the perfect opportunity to slip out and go find Mr. Hottie. Lakefront was the ideal place. I could only hope that Milo wasn’t there. Parker’s big ol’ lie could spread faster than mono at one of Hunter’s parties if he caught me out there flirting sans Parker.
Stupid Parker.
I yanked on my suit, deciding at the last minute to leave behind my cover-up. Sure, it had become a security blanket and showing so much skin wasn’t a habit of mine. But I couldn’t look like a frumpy mess if I wanted to draw attention. Not with the likes of Tracy McHugh and her new life preservers hanging around. The girl was drop-dead gorgeous before getting a hand with her shortcomings.
The trek to the shore was peaceful, beautiful even. I hadn’t noticed before, but there had been several new houses built in the time I was away. Even with the additions it didn’t detract from the natural beauty of the lake. Most of the houses were made to resemble log cabins. Gigantic log cabins, but they still held the same charm. They ended up blending in with the trees instead of sticking out like a sore thumb. The amount of money these people had to have spent was mind-boggling. Parker’s house had been in the family forever, purchased and built before his dad was born. That’s why all of Mr. Hayes renovations made sense.
His house must have been the old-timer on the block compared to the new and updated versions. But still, it made me sad. Why would his dad want to e
rase all the good memories just to fit in better?
Lakefront was bursting with bodies I noticed as I lumbered down the embankment, searching for a place to settle in and scope out a possible flirt buddy.
I spotted Tracy by the waterfront, spraying her already tanned body with sunblock. Not as if she was hard to miss with her neon yellow bikini and the gaggle of guys practically drooling at her feet. Okay, jealousy talking, but didn’t they care that her hair was bleached that color and half-fake just like her chest? I saw her at the salon once getting enough hair sewn into her head to make a horse envious.
Seriously, were guys only interested in the Instagram-perfect girls? Because if that was the case, I was screwed. I couldn’t remember the last time anything but scissors touched my hair. Sure, it got its own platinum highlights from the sun, but it was nowhere near beautiful as the colors women could get from hairstylists. My mom tried to take me once before freshman homecoming. I took one look at the prices and laughed my ass right out of the shop.
Did she realize how many books I could buy with that money? And let’s not forget about shoes. I distinctly remember thinking she was out of her mind, which was funny because she looked at me the same exact way on the drive home and muttered her favorite line about them thinking I was a boy on the sonogram and how I should have been born that way.
My poor mom, all she wanted was a girly girl like her. Instead, she got me. But my dad seemed to be happy with that at first seeing as I would rather watch football with him than play with dolls.
In the end, even that wasn’t enough to keep him around.
I scowled at Tracy and hooked a left, taking me farther away from her and up toward the only other open spot in the area.
A girl in a green one-piece smiled as I unfurled my towel. She didn’t look familiar, which meant she didn’t go to my school. Not unheard of, people traveled from all over to spend time on the lake.