by A. R. Perry
Crap.
The loading dock was too far for me to walk, so I flopped over the back of the sofa and reached for the remote. At least I didn’t have to hide out in my room. Mindless TV would have to do because if I sat in silence my brain would come up with some very colorful scenarios between Madison and Parker. Then I would drive myself insane.
“Hey.”
A squeak jumped out of my mouth as I practically rolled off the couch.
“Parker?” My hand settled on my chest like it could slow the rapid beating of my heart. “What are you doing here?”
“I wasn’t feeling the boat, so I told my dad I wanted to set up for the party. What are you doing here?”
“Me too. Well, not the setting up, but just not feeling the water today.”
“Because you’re avoiding me?”
Try as I might, I couldn’t stop the bulging of my eyes. So busted. “What? No. Of course not.”
“Sure, okay.” Parker sat in the leather recliner facing me. “Are you at least going to tell me why you’re avoiding me?”
“I’m not avoiding you, Parker. Not everything is about you.” That’s right, when caught deny, deny, deny.
“If you have something to say, now’s the perfect time because no one is around to hear it.”
Sometimes, I forgot how well he knew me.
“I… Um… No, I mean, nothing is bothering me. You know how I feel about parties.” Flustered words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. The fact that I was lying was crystal clear in my stuttering tone.
“So you’re mad I’m throwing one? Because it wasn’t my idea, you know, and my dad is hard to say no to.”
I brushed off his statement with a wave of my hand. “Of course not. I know how he gets. I just need to mentally prepare for it. I didn’t want to be all sunburned and tired.”
“And you expect me to buy that?”
“Why not?” I sat up, tucking my feet underneath me. “It’s the truth.”
Sticking to the lie no matter what. Only thing to do when the alternative is utter embarrassment.
“You avoiding me has nothing to do with last night?”
Oh, so busted. Why did he have to know me so well?
“Why would it? It was just a stupid kiss, Parker.” Liar, liar, pants on fire. I tried to make my words come out nonchalant, but instead they had a sharp edge to them as if I really couldn’t care less. Which was so far from the truth it might as well be in its own galaxy.
“Stupid…” Parker’s brow pinched together for a second as he watched me. After a few beats he smiled. “Right. Totally stupid. I’m glad you agree. I was worried there for a second.”
“So… We’re okay? I mean back to friends?” We weren’t even friends to begin with so I wasn’t sure how we could go back to that, but it was the first thing I thought of.
“Friends, yeah, of course.” Parker stood, wiping his palms on his gray swim trunks. “I gotta go get everything ready. I’m glad we cleared that up.”
“Do you need help?” I moved to get up, but he waved me off.
“Nah. Enjoy the last few peaceful hours until everyone gets here.”
Parker jogged up the stairs, leaving me to stare at his tense, retreating back.
That conversation could not have gone worse. I didn’t mean anything that I said.
And as I sat there alone, the realization of how much that kiss meant came crashing down. It meant everything. Somehow in a few days, Parker had managed to wiggle back into my life and ignite the long-dead flame I carried for him for so many years. Like turned to love and I once again sat in my own uncertainty.
After the conversation, I was left with a hollow feeling because I had no idea how I would approach it again. Not after we agreed it meant nothing.
Four years later, I was back to wallowing over a guy who would never see me the same way. And after the week was up would probably go back to ignoring me.
“Heads up!”
A pop flew across the deck, landing in the hot tub with a splash.
“You could have handed it to me!” Deacon yelled as he ran his hands through the bubbles searching for the can of Coke.
Hunter shrugged and turned back to his conversation with one of the girls he picked up on the shore. She giggled in an annoyingly over-the-top way and slid her manicured hand down his arm feeding into his already gigantic ego.
Madison caught my eye and rolled hers. “He was insufferable all afternoon. Any time we passed another boat with a group of girls, he made Mr. Hayes pull over so he could talk to them. I’m surprised he didn’t invite half the lake here.”
“He acts like it’s his house.” I stretched out on the lounge chair, soaking in the last bit of the sun’s rays. My shirt rode up, but I made no move to push it down. Considering most of the girls at the party were wearing skimpy bathing suits, a little belly button from me was hardly an eye-catcher.
“It practically is, right?”
“Hmm?”
“The house. He’s been Parker’s friend for like four years. They’re always together. No wonder Mr. Hayes lets him get away with murder.”
“Which is surprising since he thinks friends are a waste of Parker’s energy.”
Madison took a drink of her pop and rolled her eyes again when the girl’s laugh cut through the air. It really was annoying.
“Where is Parker?” Madison asked, adjusting her sunglasses so they sat on top of her head.
I held a palm out. “I haven’t seen him since you guys left for the boat.”
“Weird that he didn’t come. Did he stay behind so he could get a little flirt action in?” Madison wiggled her eyebrows causing me to laugh so I could cover up my embarrassment when I thought about our conversation.
Flirting with me was the last thing on Parker’s mind.
My laughter was cut short when Parker walked in, Tracy McHugh hanging on his arm.
“Eww,” Madison mumbled my exact sentiments. “Why is she here?”
Madison and Tracy went way back starting with the fact that they were best friends in elementary school and ending with Tracy cutting Madison from the cheerleading squad after an act of “indecency”, which pretty much meant she caught Madison making out with her ex and became enemy number one.
All that aside, it didn’t explain why she was there with Parker. Not when he was supposed to be pretending to go along with the dare.
I tried to catch his eye so I could send him a silent what the hell, but he seemed adamant about avoiding eye contact. Tracy on the other hand, didn’t.
“Hey, Lily,” she called in an overly sweet tone. Seriously, it almost gave me diabetes.
“Hey, Tracy.” Madison’s nose wrinkled at my greeting, but what was I supposed to do, ignore the girl?
“Isn’t this place gorgeous? Parker promised me a thorough tour later.”
Yeah, I didn’t miss the innuendo in that statement. Neither did the rest of the partygoers judging by the whooping and whistling.
I shook my head. Parker was back to his douchy self. Right in the nick of time to embarrass me in front of Hunter. But to my surprise, Hunter didn’t call me out. In fact, he sent a nod in Parker’s direction—the universal code for get it dude—and went back to talking to his leech…sorry, date.
“That’s so gross.” Madison gagged and turned away from Tracy.
But I couldn’t. It was like a train wreck. No matter how much my chest constricted as she ran a hand up Parker’s arm and leaned in to whisper in his ear I couldn’t look away. Not even when he brushed a strand of her overly bleached hair out of her face. And the one thing that kept running through my head was that it should have been me.
If only Parker saw me like that.
If only he loved me back.
“I can’t be out here.” Madison stood and motioned to the door. “Want to go down to the dock?”
I tore my eyes away from Parker. “Sure.” Anything was better than watching Tracy wrap around him like an octopus trapping its meal.
<
br /> Madison bounded down the stairs and I followed with a lot less enthusiasm. Parker had been insistent all week to butt in when I was talking to a guy then he kissed me and showed up to the party with another girl. He hadn’t changed. Not one bit. He was still the same heartless Parker he had been since eighth grade. Out for his own butt, not caring how he affected anyone else. And he didn’t deserve an ounce of my affection.
Of course, thinking that was a hell of a lot easier than making my heart believe it.
Madison made her way to the edge of the dock and plopped down. A few boats littered the water, but other than that the area was peaceful. I sat down next to her and leaned my head on her shoulder.
“Parker is an idiot and I’m sorry I got you messed up with him.”
“It’s fine.” It really wasn’t. My heart wouldn’t be bruised if she hadn’t forced him on me.
“I shouldn’t have started the whole dare thing. I really thought he had a thing for you, you know? Like, whenever you were around he couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”
“Unless something better like Tracy walks in.”
“Tracy is not better. Okay, sure her boobs are better now but she had to pay for them. Without that, she would just be another girl desperate for attention.”
“I kissed him last night.” The words flew out of my mouth without prior approval of my brain. Madison stiffened and leaned away to capture my eyes.
“I’m sorry… What?”
“It was stupid and then this afternoon he told me it was exactly that…stupid.”
“Wait, hold on.” Madison drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. “Explain exactly what happened.”
“I met a guy at the lake and invited him here to play pool. Parker walked in, freaked out, and then started accusing me of being jealous because I saw him earlier with Tracy. Then we…kissed. It came out of nowhere.”
Madison’s eyes looked like they were on the verge of popping out. “And then what?”
“His dad came up early.”
“Did he see you guys?”
“Nope. We heard him, thank God. How embarrassing would that have been?”
Madison chewed on her thumb nail like she always did when deep in thought. “I’m confused though. He breaks up your little flirt-fest, accuses you of being jealous then tells you the kiss meant nothing. That makes no sense.”
“Okay, I might have called the kiss stupid first, but he ambushed me and wanted to talk about it. I’m not good at that type of shit.”
“Well, how do you feel about it?”
I groaned and flopped onto my back. The wood was still warm from the sun even though dusk had set in. “I have feelings for the jerk. I used to have the biggest crush on him before we stopped being friends and this week brought it all crashing back.”
“You never told me.”
“I didn’t tell anyone so you are sworn to best friend secrecy.” I pointed a finger at her and she made a cross over her heart. “I planned to tell him the summer my dad left, but his mom had just died and I figured I had waited years, what would a couple of more months be in a lifetime. But when school started up I was a nobody to him.”
“I don’t think that’s true. I’ve seen how he looks at you. There’s something there.”
“Yeah, annoyance. I was a kiss of convenience. Or boredom. That’s it.”
“Well, I still think you’re wrong. And I can prove it.” Madison jumped up and extended her hand to me.
“Oh, no. What plan do you have brewing?”
“Just going to doll you up and flaunt you around. Maybe some hands-on flirting with a guy who isn’t Parker. He’ll be dropping Tracy like the disease-infested bimbo she is come the end of this party.”
“First,” I said as I got up. “That’s a bit harsh. And second, why should I change how I look to make him notice me?”
“We aren’t changing you, just give him a little push. Once he’s good and hooked, you can go back to your jeans and hoodies.”
“Hey.” I pointed to my cutoff shorts. “I’m wearing shorts and a tank top.”
“Jean shorts.” Madison grabbed me by the hand and hauled me toward the house. “One of my outfits is bound to do the trick.”
I whined, but she was having none of it. She led me up the stairs and practically threw me into the room once we reached the door.
She wasted no time as she shuffled through her clothes, mumbling to herself about length and colors. For a second, I thought I heard the door to the room down the hall—Parker’s childhood room—slam shut, but I was distracted as Madison chucked a bright blue crop top at me.
“Nope.” I tossed it at her. The thing was purposely shredded, looking like it had been through the garbage disposal.
“No arguing tonight, pretty please?”
I huffed but held out a hand. I could endure a couple of hours of being out of my element if it meant she got off my back. Once she realized I was right and Parker had no feelings at all for me, she would let it go. That was, until she found another guy she wanted to throw me at.
Five minutes later, I fidgeted in front of the mirror. I had talked her out of the skirt that could have doubled as a belt, opting to keep on my own shorts. Paired with the crop top and a ridiculous belly chain, I felt utterly uncomfortable.
“You look smokin’ hot.” Madison squeezed my shoulders from behind. “He’ll never know what hit him.”
“So a bare midriff is going to convince him he wants me and not boobs galore upstairs?”
“Exactly. You just have to show him you’re not the girl he grew up with. Maybe he said the kiss was stupid because he kept thinking about you with blisters from the monkey bars.”
“Seems like a solid theory, Maddy. Reality says he’s just not that into me.”
“But he will be,” Madison sang as she pulled me out of the room by my arm into the hall.
“And when this fails?”
“If this fails, I’ll do your calculus homework for a month when school starts.”
We made our way to the stairs, and right as my foot touched the landing Mr. Hayes appeared at the top.
“Hey, Lily. Will you grab a few of the extra folding chairs we have? I stored them in Parker’s closet.” He mumbled something about needing them five minutes ago as he walked away.
“Sure, Mr. H.”
Madison sighed next to me no doubt because my entrance had been delayed and would be accompanied by a bunch of chairs. I made my way to Parker’s room, opening the door with a knock in case anyone was in there. Fair warning for horny teenagers to get off each other in time.
Silence.
Good, I didn’t wanna bust out the hose.
Madison flipped on the lights as I slipped open the closet door. I stuck my head inside, but I didn’t see any chairs just a bunch of boxes.
“Maybe he meant Parker’s old room.” I turned to Madison who shrugged.
I hated going in there especially with how far out of the way Parker went to avoid it. We walked the few steps down the hall and as Madison reached for the handle a weird sick feeling took over my stomach. Before I could tell her to wait, she pushed the door open and flipped on the lights.
The sickness turned into full-blown nausea. I took a step backward, running into the wall in the process. Madison’s wide eyes met mine, and for a second both of us were rendered speechless.
Tracy let out a little yelp, climbing off Parker’s lap, adjusting her bathing suit top in the same movement. Parker jumped up, his mouth falling open then closing several times as he glanced from her to me, eyes wide with embarrassment.
No embarrassment necessary. I’d seen him in worse positions.
“You could knock,” Tracy snapped.
Tracy’s grating voice unlocked my brain.
So the kiss had in fact meant nothing. I was just a distraction until he got what he really wanted. And that thing was a girl willing to go to his bed. Little did he know I was on the verge of that when he kissed me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled and sidestepped to my room. I wasn’t sure why I was apologizing. Especially when I could hear my own heart breaking.
“Lily, wait.” Parker reached for my arm, but Madison stepped in between us and shoved him.
“Piss off, Parker. Go back to whatever the hell you were doing. Or should I say who you were doing.”
“It’s not like that,” he snapped.
With a rough sweep of my thumb, I knocked away a tear as I reached for my bag. He didn’t deserve my tears. I was an idiot to get sucked back in anyway. But I did need to leave. I couldn’t be around him anymore—not when I knew how far that little act would have gone behind closed doors if I hadn’t interrupted.
“Lily,” Parker pleaded from the hall. Tracy appeared next to him, wrapping a hand around his arm.
“Parker,” she whined and tugged on him.
He didn’t take his eyes off me. His intense, serious eyes. They all but begged me to hear him out. Too bad I was fresh out of caring. With a sigh, I steeled my nerves and marched over to the dresser chanting, Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. in my head as I packed up my stuff.
“I need to talk to you,” he tried again, but Madison was on top of it. She stepped into the room and slammed the door in his face before he could get another word out.
I wasn’t sure how we would escape because I was fairly certain he would still be waiting on the other side when I was finished packing, but that’s what Madison was there for. Girl was my rock.
“I’ll drive you home.” Madison reached into the closet, and much like me tossed her stuff into her bag without folding it. She must have been just as torn up as me, because I had never seen her treat her clothes that way.
“I’ll give you gas money.”
Madison laughed and then I laughed. I had no idea where that came from. My brain seemed a little fried after the whole scene.
“Hey.” She draped an arm over my shoulder, giving me a shake as I zipped up my bag. “Forget about him. He’s an asshole.”
“Yeah.” But he wasn’t. This Parker was, but my Parker wasn’t. The Parker who I got to spend the past four days with. He was the guy I fell for. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in real life, but apparently it was.