by Maia Starr
“Well, apparently you do need taken care of. You’d be lying dead in a ditch if it hadn’t been for me. Do you have any idea what the world is like for women now? You can’t do this by yourself, Amelia.” His words sounded harsh, even though in my heart I knew it was coming from a good place.
“I know perfectly well what the world is like for women; I have firsthand experience! You think I don’t know the risks?” He started to speak but then balled his hands into fists and gritted his teeth.
“I’m not an idiot, Kellan. This world is a minefield for women, and I know that there are a million odds stacked against me. But I think you forget that I grew up in a world where I already knew how to take care of my body and my health. I’m not incapable of knowing when to eat when to sleep, or when to look for help if I get sick or injured. I don’t think you get it. I’m a grown woman, not a little girl. I have an education and know how to implement it.” My voice was rising louder as I spoke, and I could see how it was making the heat buildup inside him, and I really wanted to pick a fight and win. Even as I made my own fists, I knew that picking a fight with a man I had only begun to know, and one of that size and strength, was probably a stupid idea. So, I regrouped my thoughts and tried to focus on words that would resolve the issue instead of feed into it.
“But I’m also not naïve; I know that I’m in the minority now… the weaker minority. I get it. You don’t have to remind me. It’s not exactly an easy thing to accept. Knowing that I’m suddenly in a world where women are considered a dying breed. I can’t even walk outside of this hut without feeling like there is a target painted on my back. But you wouldn’t understand what that’s like, would you?” I waited, to see if there was any chance of him trying to put himself in my shoes. I wasn’t trying to test him, but sooner or later I was going to have to see if this guy was going to end up like all the other self-righteous idiots I’d known. I was hoping he wasn’t. He drew in a deep breath.
“No, I don’t know what that feels like. At least, not in the way you’re talking about. I know what it feels like to always be on the defensive. After all, the wolf clans have made all of us enemies now. However,” he continued, his shoulders relaxing a little bit, “I’m more matched physically than you are. I know that I can hold my own in a battle. You, on the other hand,” he started to say, but I stopped him there before he could put his foot in his mouth.
“I get it. I’m never going to be physically able to overpower a wolf shifter. Which is why I’m incredibly thankful for what you’ve done, and for your protection. I think this is the first time I’ve actually been able to relax my shoulders in ages. You make me feel safe, Kellan. Truly safe. When you’re around, I feel like I have hope.” I took a step closer to the window, wanting to touch him, to feel that safety. To have it tangible to my fingertips. Instead, he leaned back, kneeling and sitting on his feet. I wasn’t sure if that was because I had pissed him off, or because he still hadn’t calmed down. Either way, it broke my heart a little bit.
“Well, anyway,” I continued. “How about we make a deal. You let me take care of my own body like any other grown up, and I’ll let you protect me from the wolves. Does that seem fair? All I’m asking for is a little respect, one human being to another.” He flinched. Did he think I wasn’t equal to him? I wasn’t sure what I had said, but he looked down and away from me. There was something he wasn’t telling me. “Kellan?”
“Yeah,” he replied quickly. “You’re right. Absolutely right. I get it. I’m sorry, it wasn’t really how I meant it, but I know you can take care of yourself. Or at least I’ll try. It’s going to be hard for me not to want to do things for you. Just warning you right now.” He scratched his head and kept staring down at the windowsill in front of me instead of at my face.
“And I’ll do my best to not read into everything you say. I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to be nice. I mean, I don’t think you were trying to be condescending. It just lit a fire in me that I guess had been building up for a while now.” I realized it had been a while since I had been angry. Truly angry. Scared, yes. Fighting for my life, sure. Paranoid, hell yeah. But angry? That one had been on the back burner for a hot minute, and now, of all the people to set it free onto, it had to be the one man who was trying to save me, in spite of what was growing inside me. All of this was finally putting me over the edge, and I couldn’t seem to suppress the annoyance that Christmas was on the horizon and there wasn’t anything that felt like Christmas about the world I was in.
“You know,” I said softly, “We both know what time of year it is. As much as I wish I could forget it, I can’t. It used to mean something to me. Holidays used to be a time when things got more meaningful, and people found ways to come together for the greater good. It’s not like that anymore. It reminds me of a world that doesn’t exist anymore, which makes me even angrier. I don’t want it to feel like that. I don’t want it to be swept under the rug or forgotten like some fading ghost. If I let my Christmas be taken away from me, then I feel like I’m letting them win. All of them who have ripped my world apart and tortured me and those around me, they can take away every material thing I possess, but they can’t take away my memories and my heart. I want to make sure they never do that. It’s a small victory, but I’ll take what I can get.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more, Amelia.” His eyes softened, but his face showed resolve. He looked at me and took a deep breath, then with a single nod, he added, “We’ll make sure they don’t take that from us. From you. We’ll find a way to find happiness among the chaos. I promise. I can do that for you.” My eyes narrowed. “I mean, together, we can do that. You can do that for me just as much as I will for you. Just having you next to me on Christmas is all the gift I would need.” I smiled and felt the heat in my cheeks. I still couldn’t believe this amazing man found me.
“Until that time, how about breakfast?” he asked. I was only too happy for the change of subject. “I mean, after I wash up. I can throw something on the stove for us. It’s nearly lunchtime, but I can make it a breakfast, so it’s easier on your stomach.” He glanced up at me. “Or whatever you think is best to eat. Just let me know.” I smiled. Sounded like he got the point.
“I think breakfast sounds amazing. I’m famished. I could eat an elephant.” And it was starting to look like I already had. I bit my lip. I was sure I was only going to get bigger, and with this stunning example of a man in front of me, I wasn’t sure how that would bode for our future relationship.
“We don’t have an elephant on this island, but I do have bacon and eggs. Will that suffice?” he said with a grin.
“Sounds amazing,” I said with a sigh. My stomach growled, and my hands shot to cover it up. “Heh, guess I’m hungrier than I thought.”
“Well then, I better hurry up with that shower,” he said with a wink and got up and walked away from the window. I watched him walk until he rounded the main hut and was out of my sight. I hated for him to leave, but man did I love watching him go. I sighed and then looked back at the room.
“Wait!” I yelled out the window. “How do I get to the kitchen?” But he was already out of earshot. I looked back at the room and began to hunt for a robe or something to cover myself. Eventually, I would find the door or stairway out of this room, and when I did, I wanted to be able to hide the bump that seemed to be silhouetted under the material. I looked around and found a small door that seemed to guard a closet full of clothes. Women’s clothes. I creased my eyebrows. For a man that lived alone, he had quite an assortment of women’s items. What was going on here that he hadn’t explained to me yet?
Chapter Eight
Kellan
I turned the faucet in the bathroom until the water came on full force. I decided not to make it too hot; I certainly needed to cool down. The dragon inside me felt like it was clawing at my rib cage to get out. I thought a morning workout would help calm me down but hearing her yell my name snapped me back to her. I was starting to have a hard t
ime concentrating around her. I knew my days were numbered, and I would have to claim her as my mate soon, otherwise risk going insane. It didn’t happen often, but I had heard tales of dragons that went insane. It wasn’t pretty. I heard there was nothing you could do about it if you waited too long to find your mate, but I had learned a few tricks. Working out, cold showers, meditation. It helped a little.
Leaning against the wall for balance, I stripped my pants off and pulled back the curtain. I grabbed a fresh towel off the linen rack and hung it on the hook next to the shower. I stepped into the running water and felt the coolness run down my back. I shook off an initial shiver, but soon relaxed into the coolness as my skin began to calm down, and my heartbeat slowed. I could still feel a fire building up in my chest as I thought of Amelia, though, and the frigid water did nothing to calm down the excitement building in my pelvis. I was going to have to do something about that before I got dressed, otherwise, I was never going to get my pants on. I had to think of something else and try to calm down. Amelia was going to need breakfast, and soon by the sound of her stomach.
At least, I think that was her stomach. I tried to shake away the thought of what was growing inside her. To think of that animal taking advantage of her drove me crazy. I wanted to keep her safe forever. I wasn’t sure if I was angrier at the wolf that raped her, or at myself or not finding her earlier in life so I could have saved her from that tragedy. Life didn’t feel fair, and I wasn’t good at not being in control of the circumstances we had been thrown into. It should have been me that planted the child inside her, with love and passion to bond us forever. I could make her happy, I knew it. I was going to make her happy for the rest of her life if she allowed me, and I knew every way I was going to try. Making her happy seemed to be all I could think of any more.
Fire began to build in my chest again. I grabbed a bar of soap and started concentrating on washing off my workout. I stared straight ahead and tried to think of anything not related to Amelia. Breakfast, trees, sweeping the floor, cleaning the jeweled vases on the curio cabinet in the hidden closet of the hut. Everything I tried to think of led back to her face. Now that she was in my life and I wanted to keep her there, I couldn’t picture doing anything without her. It was making it harder and harder to suppress the feelings building up inside, and my dragon was going crazy, wanting to be back with her and watch over her. I couldn’t help but imagine her safe inside my treasure room, protected on a bed of soft white feathers, naked, spoiled and engulfed by me with the world safely locked away from us.
I washed down my chest and stomach, the suds running down my body. I ran the soap over my shoulders and back, turning around and trying to let the cool water run over all sides of me. I ran the bar of soap down the front of my thighs and then washed the important parts, trying not to spend too much time there, but then wondered if I should just take care of it so I could clear my head and think of something else. I flipped the soap over and over in my hands, watching the soap bubbles build up, feeling the tension inside me build up with it. Just as I made my decision, setting down the soap and running my hands along my growing length, a scream rang out from somewhere inside the hut.
“Amelia!” I called out. I yanked back the curtain and ran out into the hut, yanking the towel along with me and tearing the hook out of the wall. I heard it clank against the sink on the opposite wall as I burst through the door. “Amelia! Where are you!” I called again. I could still hear her scream echoing in my head, and I was just about to shift as she called back to me.
“Kellan! I’m fine! At least, I think I’m fine. I just came into the kitchen, and your friend was here.” Friend? I sprinted towards the stairs to the spare room, her room now. No one was supposed to be in my house, and no one was supposed to know she was here. Someone was with Amelia and depending on who it was, they might not live to tell anyone else about her presence.
I stopped short as I made it to the kitchen to meet her by the secret staircase. She stood, backed against the wall, still looking apprehensive, and a man stood in front of her. I could feel the wings wanting to spring out of my back and the teeth in my mouth drop at this sight until the man turned around, and I realized I knew him. I calmed myself down and tried to suppress the shift, but it was getting harder and harder to do that nowadays. I panted, gritted my teeth, and growled back the urge to rip out his throat.
“Arvid?” I looked at him with suspicion, but when he turned around and looked at me, his face flushed, and he looked surprised. “What are you doing here, Arvid? Why have you come? We didn’t have a meeting scheduled today. What’s your purpose?” We had been neighbors for years, but this was my woman, and with so few other dragon shifters on the island, you couldn’t trust anyone not to try to steal a mate from you, even in your own home. I stepped towards him, head tilted down, instincts preparing me for a battle. The surprised look fell from his face, and he leaned towards me and tilted his head as well.
“Kellan, you didn’t tell anyone that you had company. When were you going to tell us?” The standoff began. Both of us boiling with suspicion, both of us beginning to circle in the room, assessing the motives of the other. “You know having a woman on the island impacts us all. Why are you hiding her?”
“Why am I hiding her?” I could hear my voice get louder, but I didn’t care. All hell was about to break loose, and I wanted to be on the winning side of it. This was my Amelia, not his, not anyone else’s. No one was going to take her from me. “You know damn well why I’m hiding her. She’s with me, Arvid. Me.” My voice deepened on the last word with a rumble deep in my chest, and I could see the recognition in his eyes. I was claiming her, and he was going to have to fight me for her if that’s what he was here for. I wasn’t about to lose her. Not now, not after everything else I’d done to keep her with me.
“You should have told us, Kellan. It is what a proper leader would do,” he began, still circling, but now holding his hands up in front of me in submission. “But, she’s not why I’m here, and you can’t keep her a secret forever. The others will find out, and you need to deal with that sooner than later. Especially now.”
“Now? What do you mean by that? You got something to say, spit it out,” I said, trying to push down the heat rising into my throat. I could feel the taste of smoke come into my mouth, and I took a deep breath, trying to clear it out and calm down. “It doesn’t have to do with her?” I wanted to look at Amelia, make sure she was okay, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off Arvid.
“No. I was out on sentinel duty, you know, just circling the island…” I held up my hand and cut him off before he said anything about flying. I still wasn’t ready for Amelia to learn that truth. Not just yet.
“Amelia, this is Arvid. He is our sentinel. Everyone on our island has a job. Arvid’s is to keep watch over the island’s borders. He lets us know when there is any danger from the wolf clans. They mostly ignore us, but we know there is always a risk that they’ll try to challenge us. So, he keeps an eye out.”
“Challenge you? Why would they do that?” Amelia asked. “What’s so important about your island that they would feel threatened by it?” Arvid chuckled.
“What’s so important about it?” Arvid said. “It’s only the strongest concentration of—” I snapped my head toward Amelia briefly and looked back at Arvid. My expression was anything but amused.
“Strong men,” I interrupted. “We all have been training for the time when we take back the land from the wolf clans. We all…” I opened my eyes wide and looked straight into Arvid’s pupils, willing him to shut the hell up. “Work out. We all work out… a LOT.” I tilted my head, waiting to see if Arvid got the message that she didn’t know about dragon shifters yet.
“Huh?” Arvid could be so dense sometimes, and it often took him a little longer than others to get the drift of things. Sure, he was highly intelligent, which was a huge plus to us all. He was a technological genius by all standards when it came to security systems, and tactics. He was a
strategic mastermind, and we owed the survival and security of our island almost entirely to him in that front. But common sense and social cues weren’t his strong points by any means. I raised my eyebrows and waited for it to sink in. Come on, Arvid.
“Yeah, Arvid. Amelia has never heard of our island before, so she hasn’t had a chance to learn everything about it yet. That includes the backgrounds of all those who live on it.” I saw the lightbulb go on in his head. His facial expression running flat as if he had just uncovered the elephant in the room. I shook my head.
“Ah, got ya,” he said with a single nod. “Well, there’s a lot to be learned, Amelia. Welcome to the island,” he said, still keeping eye contact with me. I could tell there was still the desire to contest me over a female, but luckily, Arvid’s mind was much stronger than his body was, and he knew that he would have to step down from the challenge. After all, I was a lead dragon on this piece of land, and until someone strong enough, and rich enough, came along to change that, then he wasn’t dumb enough to try to step out of his place. “We need to talk in private, Kellan. The border is getting dangerous. We need to meet with the others and let them know about the threat.”
“Fine, I agree,” I said. “Gather the others. We’ll meet in your hut, not here. We’ll meet at the top of the hour.” I circled to the side and granted Arvid a path to the doorway that led out of the hut. He nodded to me and stepped his way out, never turning his back to me until he stepped out into the sunlight. His eyes met with mine then, and he tilted his head, lifting his hand to wave as he walked off. I walked over to the door and shut it behind him, pulling across the wooden bar for security. Keeping anything a secret was damn well impossible on the island and I didn’t want him storming back in once my back was turned. Catching me off guard, as it were. I took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly, preparing myself to look at Amelia for the first time since I’d walked in the room. So much to tell her. But God the risks were too much.