by D. J. Bodden
Only the warden noticed the bear. He raised his bow, which got me looking, but when he snapped off a shot, but a passing starling got in the way and the bear kept coming.
The Kodiak was four and a half feet tall at the shoulder and must have weighed close to 1500 pounds. It ran in on the deer kill at full speed and swiped a servant with a brown paw twice the size of my head. The man was thrown five feet and flopped like a rag doll, face ripped open from ear to chin. The bear roared.
“Spears forward!” Provus shouted.
One of the handlers loosed his dogs. It was eerie seeing them run without barking. The bear knocked two aside with one swipe and crushed another with his paw. The fourth managed to get in close and bite into the bear’s side, but as it tried to back away the Kodiak caught the dog in its jaws and shook it from side to side until it stopped moving. That was a punch to the gut. No wonder the nobles didn’t play with them.
The nobles in our group turned to face the new threat and advanced. I moved to join them, but Provus waved me back. “Stay with the prince,” he said.
Stay out of the way, he meant. I looked at Fatin.
“It seems the Empire trusts neither of us with a weapon, friend.”
I hadn’t forgotten how he’d set me up earlier. “The Empire protects its citizens, Fatin. I’m not a fighter.”
“Well, I am,” Tozhug said, and stomped off toward the bear. He ripped a sapling out of the ground and started stripping off branches.
The Kodiak had run down and caught another servant, biting and scratching into her back as she screamed for help. The first man the bear mauled was still down and most likely dead. Provus barked commands and the spear line tightened and curved, letting the remaining servants pass through while forming a horseshoe around the creature.
I heard chanting to my right. A senator had dismounted, chanting and waving her hands. Mist formed over our heads, and starlings started dropping from the sky.
An arrow thunked into the Kodiak’s neck. The bear barely noticed. It roared, reared up, and slammed down on its victim. I heard the crack from where I stood, still swinging at the rapidly thinning murmuration of birds—it was raining starlings at this point. The servant stopped struggling.
Tozhug finished stripping his makeshift spear, took a little hop step, and threw it like a javelin. The two-inch-thick bole hit the bear squarely between the eyes. The Kodiak stumbled, shaking its head, unhurt but confused.
The Risi laughed, clutching his stomach.
The bear roared and tried to charge him, but had to pull up short because of the spear wall. It swiped at the air. The leaf blades cut its paws, and the wall of spears kept tightening and closing. The second handler released his dogs.
A breeze cleared the mist away. The forest floor was carpeted in dead or twitching starlings. The riders had their mounts back under control and fanned out, looking for a clear shot. More arrows thudded into the bear’s body, but they didn’t seem to do much damage. I remembered reading once that a Kodiak can have a fat layer nine inches thick around parts of its body. The warden shot a fire arrow, lighting a patch of the bear’s fur, and the big animal rolled onto its side to smother it. A javelin arced through the air and slammed into its stomach, sinking in nearly a foot, and the bear let out a high-pitched whine. It scrambled back onto its feet, backing away, pawing at the javelin.
A particularly brave or stupid noble darted in with his spear and sunk it into the bear’s side; the bear spun, clocking the nobleman in the chin with his own spear. Two more nobles ran forward to drag their fallen peer to safety. I thought they were done for.
Provus stepped forward and stabbed the bear in the haunch. The bear whined again, turning and stumbling, falling on its tail end. The ring of spears tightened. It wouldn’t be long now.
Then I heard a sound like someone smacking two drumsticks together to give the band the beat. Kid you not.
A nobleman stepped in to deliver the killing thrust and was bowled over by a charging wild boar. It came out of nowhere. Heavy metal music started playing. It sounded like an acoustic version of “Inner Self” by Sepultura. Three more boars ran into the formation, knocking two people over from behind and then attacking them with tooth and tusk, kicking their little piggy legs. The circle was broken.
“THAT’S ALAN,” OSMARK said, sitting down next to Sandra.
“That’s Alan.”
Robert’s brain kicked into high gear. Jeff and the two security guards had gone for a walk. Viridian wasn’t saved yet, but it had a pulse. “How long?”
“About fifty hours, at this point.”
“We have footage?”
“Yeah. It’s more Roman than Epic Fantasy, but we can fix that on the cutting table.”
“Violence?”
“Plenty.”
“What about sex?”
Sandra waved her hand. “Some good flirting and carousing, but he didn’t seal the deal.”
“That’s too bad,” Robert said absently.
“I’m okay with it.”
He looked at his assistant, not bothering to hide his amusement. “Really?”
“The game made me jealous, Rob.”
“I didn’t take Alan for your type.”
“I’ve recently seen sides of Alan I thought didn’t exist. I suspected, but now I know.”
Osmark let that process for a moment. “That might be better than sex.”
“It just might.”
Osmark looked back at the screen. Battle music was playing in his ears. “Is that a soundtrack?”
“That’s Gaia. She’s been adding mood music to emotional events.”
“Did we tell her to do that?”
“I don’t think so. I think she did it on her own.”
“CLOSE RANKS!” PROVUS shouted.
Fatin spread his wings and took to the air. Tozhug was trying to shake off a boar that had latched onto his leg. Dozens of boars charged in, and two riders were thrown by their mounts as the Komodos went nuts from all the blood, noise, and still-squealing bacon.
The bear lunged, bringing down a distracted nobleman, and then knocked a noblewoman flying as she tried to bring her spear around. It broke through the circle, running back the way it came, limping and trailing blood.
A bola spun out of the melee, wrapping around a merchant with a bow and knocking her off her mount with a clack! Now, some of the boars had Goblin riders. Things just kept getting worse. Gaius blew his horn, calling for reinforcements.
Sharp teeth sank into my calf, and I was yanked off my feet. I rolled over and stared into the bloodshot eyes of the timber wolf playing tug-of-war with my leg.
That’s when the quest update hit.
“Are you kidding me?” I shouted at no one in particular.
<<<>>>
Quest Update: Smoke and Mirrors
You’ve been offered the chance to learn Vocalize. If you accept, you will spend (1) proficiency point on the skill, and who knows where that will lead? If you fail the quest, you will lose both the ability to use the skill and the proficiency point you spent.
Quest Class: Rare, Class-Based
Quest Difficulty: Hard
Success 1: Swindled a Swindler
Success 2: Second Date with a One-Night Stand
Success 3: ???????
Failure: Fail to complete any of the objectives.
Reward: Class Change; 4,000 XP
<<<>>>
I screamed at the wolf and hit it in the face with the butt of my spear. I knew this was a setup, that the Overminds were going to force me into something I both wanted and didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to “Vocalize,” I wanted to “Disappear” or cast “Ninja Smoke Bomb.”
The wolf let go of my leg and latched onto the spear.
“Fine!” I shouted. “I’ll do it!”
<<<>>>
Quest Update: Smoke and Mirrors
Take command. Don’t die.
<<<>>>
Oh, crap.
The Imperial
hunting party had lost any semblance of order. All the silent hounds were dead. The warden wasn’t trying to make people look good anymore—he was saving the people he could and trying to stay alive. There were wolves in the mix, leaping on people from behind or teaming up on lone spearmen. Boars knocked people over and bit people when they were down. Six of the Komodos were loose, clawing and biting anything and anyone within reach. Fatin swooped by, under attack by a half dozen crows and a buzzard. Tozhug had the boar from earlier by the hindleg and was using it to smash other things while the timber wolf tried to rip the spear out of my hands.
“Tozhug, help me!” I shouted, trying to use my new skill, but my Spirit bar flashed. I didn’t have enough. Vocalize increased both the volume and the cost of vocal spells. I deactivated Charm and waited for my bar to fill, kicking at the wolf’s body and legs.
A Komodo came charging past and chomped the wolf on the run. The wolf yelped, letting go of the spear. I caught a glimpse of Gaius blowing his horn, and the Komodo’s tail almost knocked me out, then they were gone.
“Tozhug, help me!” I shouted, getting to my feet. My voice was so loud I cut through the noise like a megaphone. The Risi looked up and started walking my way, dragging his squealing improvised flail.
I drew more attention than just Tozhug’s. Three wolves, one black and two gray, broke off from attacking a downed rider and ran straight for me. Note to self: Vocalize draws aggro like dick jokes in a lesbian bar. Worse, they were going to get to me before the Risi could.
The black wolf jumped at me from the side. I sidestepped, which I was pretty proud of, and heard its jaws snap shut where my face had been. One of the gray wolves latched onto my leg at the knee, and the second jumped.
Time slowed to a trickle. I was staring down the second gray wolf’s throat, frothing drool and oversized canines five seconds from closing on my throat and there was nothing I could do about it. Then I noticed a steel-shafted broadhead arrow inching toward the wolf’s side.
Time resumed, and the warden’s arrow slammed into the jumping wolf’s ribs, knocking it aside like it had been struck by the fist of God. I drove the sharp end of my spear into the gray wolf biting my leg. The black wolf landed, spun, and crouched, ready for another go, but Tozhug batted it aside with his boar-club like he was playing polo. “You have a plan?” he asked.
I twisted the spear in the dying wolf and looked at the hunting ground turned battlefield.
The Kodiak was gone, fled. Wolves, boars, Goblin boar-riders, and loose Komodos ran around in every direction, attacking everyone and each other. Gaius had assembled the six remaining mounted Komodo riders and they were charging around, getting stuck in wherever the fighting was worst. He blew his horn again, and at least two horns answered from the surrounding woods. If we could last a little longer, help would be here.
The warden was fine, of course. He looked like an elf from the Tolkien movies, dodging, rolling, and firing arrows when he could, only his quiver was empty and he could only shoot what he picked up from the ground or ripped from corpses.
There were groups of spearmen, dismounted nobles, and dignitaries trying to protect each other and the wounded. They’d formed ad hoc parties of tanks and ranged fighters, firing whatever ammunition they had into the mass of pissed-off animals while the melee fighters held boars and wolves off with spears and clubs they’d recovered from the fallen. Imperials and other races fought side by side without a second thought. It wasn’t enough to turn the tide, but it would do wonders for interspecies cooperation if they survived.
Provus’s was doing the best out of all the groups. He’d gathered twenty of the surviving spearmen and formed them into ranks, and they were pushing the maddened animals and Goblins back. He couldn’t see the three massive shamblers lumbering up on them from behind.
“Provus!” I shouted. “Turn your formation around!”
He ignored me. One of the people in the phalanx actually gave me a sideways middle finger. Tozhug laughed at that and said, “What now, Lord General Alan?”
Screw it. I had enough Spirit for a Vocalized Suggestion. “Provus! Turn your formation around and fall back on the senators!”
Provus started shouting commands. There was a moment of confusion, then they saw the shamblers and everything sped up. I snapped out the next set of commands, using Vocalize when I could, Suggestions when I had to. It was like playing a real-time strategy game, only some of my units wouldn’t listen all the time so I had to make each Suggestion stick.
Every time I vocalized, more wolves, boars, and Goblins made me their priority. Tozhug did what he could. He threw his now dead boar-club at a Komodo, grabbed two wolves by their throats and cracked their skulls together, and drop kicked a particularly vicious piglet after it tried to bite his ankle. A boar-riding Goblin charged me, waving a curved sword over its head, and I reacted without thinking, stepping to the side and swinging the butt of my spear into its leering face. The boar kept going. I finished the crippled rider with a thrust of my spear.
Horns sounded again, closer this time. Provus had gathered up more of the higher-ups, and they had the spellcaster who’d killed the starlings casting the choking mist on groups of animals, though she appeared to be too low on Spirit to cover as large an area as before. I shouted more commands. Everyone else was holding. Just a few more minutes.
A boulder landed in the middle of Provus’s formation. I’d forgotten about the shamblers. One of them grabbed a spear as it was thrust at it and pulled the screaming Imperial into its arms, crushing her. I shouted a Suggestion, but then had to focus on staying alive.
Gaius charged the shamblers with the four remaining Komodo riders as commanded, or rather he ran them into each other and jumped clear. The Komodos and shamblers went at it like a kaiju free-for-all, tearing into each other with tooth and vine, boulder and claw. Gaius ran back toward Provus’s phalanx with two Legion officers and two senators in tow. A black bear and four more wolves were trying to eat Tozhug and me, but Fatin landed on the bear and drove a recovered Goblin shortsword into its neck until it collapsed. The warden came and helped Tozhug, swinging his bow like a club. I stabbed stuff if it got too close. We were a four-being rock the snarling, squealing, screeching horde came to break itself on. We were turning the tide.
Then there was a squeal to end all squeals and the biggest boar I’d ever seen charged through the woods. The name [Gore Boar] floated above its head. Its back hump was as tall as I was, and it looked like it outweighed the bear by half. It crashed into the combined Imperial and foreign force I’d spent so much effort assembling, tossing men and women aside like toys. A swing of its head knocked four fighters aside. The phalanx fell apart, and the remaining wolves, boars, and Goblins poured into the breach, ignoring me once more.
Thirty people were trying to kill the thing, and its Health had only dipped by 20%. Provus and all his people were going to die.
I knew what I had to do. I’d call the Gore Boar over using Vocalize and impale it on my spear, just like the prefect had showed me.
A kick from the creature’s hind leg pulped a man’s head.
“Nope.” I handed the spear to Tozhug.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked.
“I could sell you a line about glory and protecting the man next to you, but that’s garbage. You’re going to feel this thing coming through the soles of your feet, see it loom over you like a tidal wave, and you’re going to want to run.”
“What the hell?” Tozhug said.
I cupped my hands and yelled as loud as Vocalize would let me. “Hey, Porkchop! Come pick on someone your own size!”
“You’re joking,” Tozhug said.
The beast turned my way. A few enterprising nobles stuck their own spears into it, taking another sliver of Health off. The Gore Boar lowered its head.
“That’s right, Gibblets! I’ve got a spit to roast you on right here!” I made a very vulgar thrusting motion with my hips.
Tozhug gri
nned. “I don’t think it heard you, Alan.”
I turned around and lifted the back of my tunic.
Fatin looked at me, wide-eyed, and took off flying.
The boar squealed and charged.
I ran to hide behind Tozhug. The warden did the same. “I hope you know what you’re doing!” he said.
“Me too!”
The Risi set the spear the same way the prefect had showed me. Apparently facing a cavalry charge is common knowledge among crazy people. The ground shook under the Gore Boar’s trotters. It was going to smash through the spear, Tozhug, the warden and me. I mumbled the end of the prefect’s speech like a final prayer.
“What?” Tozhug said.
“I said, ‘Salvation lies in six feet of oak and metal!’”
Tozhug laughed. “Salvation lies in me, human!”
He roared at the Gore Boar. The warden laughed manically. I screamed like a little girl.
The Gore Boar panicked at the last moment and turned its head, and the spear slid in between its neck and shoulder.
Don’t make me out as something I’m not. I stood my ground, pressed against the Risi’s back with the warden. I felt Tozhug flex, and the impact hit me like the concussion from a bomb. I could see the thing’s hateful little eyes as I stepped around the Risi, the nightmare of jagged tusks jutting from its lower jaw, and everything in me said “Run.”
But the prefect had told me that if I ran, I would die, and I believed him, so I charged instead.
Tozhug shifted his grip and pushed down, pinning the Gore Boar in place. The warden threw a handful of stunning powder in its face, then went to work on it with a pair of daggers. Fatin threw javelins at it from the air. I got one clean stab in with Threadcutter—just one—before the Gore Boar knocked me flying with a shake of its head. Then the surviving Imperials were all around us, yelling and stabbing. Some of them were legionaries in full kit. The reinforcements had arrived.
“Rally around the citizen!” I heard someone shout.