It feels surprisingly good to do the right thing, and I have Nadia to thank for that. Talking with her was eye opening and enjoyable. She makes everything better.
When she laid her lips on mine, it was as if everything I wanted and didn’t realize was just handed to me. I couldn’t restrain myself from taking our kiss further. And Nadia was completely on board. If she hadn’t been, I would’ve stopped immediately.
Jesus. I’m getting hard and I haven’t even allowed myself to relive the details yet. All it took was picturing her and remembering what the first meeting of our mouths felt like. It was fucking explosive, and if I could’ve continued to kiss her for the rest of my days and nights, I would’ve.
Closing my eyes, I grip my cock and call up the memory of our kiss. Moving in long, slow strokes, it’s only seconds before I’m imagining it’s Nadia’s hand on me.
Leaning into me, her taut nipples press into my chest as our mouths slam together. Our tongues dance as she squeezes me tightly in her fist. Up and down her hand moves; it’s agonizing pleasure. I want to come now and feel the incredible explosion, but I also never want this to end. Her thumb swirls the pre-cum around my tip, and releasing her mouth, I groan. Tucking my face into the curve of her shoulder, I place my lips on the side of her neck, whispering harshly, “Faster and harder.”
She obliges, picking up the pace of her strokes and tightening her grip. With one palm braced on the tile, I grip her hip with my other hand and lose myself in the ecstasy of finally having her touching me. My hips thrusting, I chase the building orgasm until I fall over the edge. My teeth sink into the soft skin on her neck to keep the wild shout from flying free of my lips as my release pulses from my cock.
My legs feeling weak, I add a second hand to the tile to hold me up as I let the water wash away the remnants of my fantasy. It felt so real, I only wish it had been. But I have plenty to look forward to experiencing with Nadia. I fully expect her to dig her heels in and fight me every step of the way, but tonight taught me that Nadia and I have something worth exploring. We need to take the remaining weeks of our arrangement to pursue a real relationship. I know she’ll be resistant if I propose this, so I may have to hold off on having the conversation with her. I’ll let the time we’re spending with each other naturally morph into what it should be—a real relationship.
Shutting off the water, I grab my towel and dry off. In my bedroom, I slip on a pair of boxer briefs and sit down on the edge of my mattress. I run a hand through my wet strands, pushing them back from my face. Picking up my cell phone, I tap out a text message to Nadia.
Me: Thanks again for tonight. It means a lot that you were there for me.
I don’t expect a reply from her, but that doesn’t keep me from hoping for one. After a minute or so with no answer, I fall back on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. It’s strange for me to think about, but I’m beginning to feel like a new man. I’m not going to get all sappy and think it’s because I must be in love and love fixes everything. I know I’m not in love with Nadia, but I am falling for her.
It actually feels good to admit that to myself. And with how I’m starting to care for her romantically, I want to be the best man I can be.
Is this a natural reaction every man has when they reach a certain emotional point with a woman?
Is that why they say men need the love of a good woman?
Is the right woman the balm I need to soothe my inner turmoil? And is every guy like this or is it just me?
Is finding the person I’m meant to be with the key to making me finally grow up and take responsibility for my actions?
I don’t want to place expectations on whatever is developing between Nadia and me in case it doesn’t work out. One thing’s for certain, though, she’s helping me to be a better man, and that’s something I’ll always be grateful for, no matter what happens with us. At the least we’ll walk away from our deal as better friends than we were when we started. I’ve come to realize that Nadia is important to me and I need her in my life.
My text alert goes off and I shoot up to a sitting position once again. Plucking my phone from the bed, I pull up her text.
Nadia: Stop thanking me. That’s what friends are for.
Reading her message makes me snicker. She’s already trying to reclaim the boundaries we blew to pieces. Not gonna happen.
I type out another message, smiling the entire time.
Me: Can I thank you for the mind-blowing kiss? That was the best part of my night.
I doubt she’s going to answer me, but I let her know that I’m not about to forget it happened.
I finish getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth and shutting off the lights. When I slip under the covers, I pick up my phone and see an unread message.
Nadia: If you want to thank me, just forget it happened. We need to keep our business relationship strong. That’s what matters most. Good night.
I shake my head. She’s so stubborn and predictable. It’s going to be fun getting her to break all the rules she clings to.
Me: It’s impossible to forget, as it’s engraved in my mind forever. Night.
I know she was hoping I’d accept defeat gracefully and pretend like nothing changed between us, but that’s not me. I don’t ever accept defeat. I might learn to deal with it, but I never sit back and take it like it’s okay. Losing is never good. When it comes to love and war, the stakes are always highest. You get back what you give, and I always give my all and then some. I’m hoping that bodes well for getting Nadia to admit she’s falling for me like I’m falling for her.
16
Nadia
Groaning, I drop my head to rest on my arms. The cold wood is a welcome relief on my bare skin. I’ve been overheated since the kiss I shared with Flynn last night. I don’t know if it’s from embarrassment or from how freaking combustible we were together. Maybe it’s a combination of both, because in the light of a new day, I’m horrified by my behavior. But if I had the chance to do it over, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Can you really be ashamed if you want to do something again that you know is wrong?
Once I got to work, I turned the central air conditioning on. I’ve seen my employees walking around in sweaters and sport coats, but I can’t seem to rid myself of this flush. Maybe that’s what being intimate with Flynn is like. His orgasms make you permanently hot. If that’s the case, I’m fucked and I might as well indulge in more indecent behavior.
Now I’m just being silly. Flynn’s like any other guy. Except he’s packing a dry humping dream in his pants. I can’t even imagine what sex with him would be like. I might never walk normally again. Walking is overrated anyway.
Stop it. Stop thinking about him.
My phone rings, interrupting my spiraling thoughts, and this queen of texting has never been so happy to take a call.
“Hello.”
“Nadia, my favorite person.”
I smile. “Hey, Sadie. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to check in on you and see if your no sex status had changed since the game yesterday.”
“Seriously? You think one night could make that much of a difference? This is me we’re talking about.”
“I know Flynn’s type, and he works fast.”
“Well, the sexual status, or should I say no sexual status, to report still remains in place.”
Does a kiss and an orgasm count?
“Why does it seem like you’re not telling me something?” Sadie asks.
I glance around my office. Does she have a camera in here somewhere? “Ugh, I kissed him.”
“Yes,” she shrieks with happiness.
I lean back in my leather chair. “Why are you so excited about me kissing Flynn?”
“Because you deserve someone who’ll appreciate you.”
“And you think Flynn is that guy? Are you sure about that? You know his history.”
“He could be. Don’t judge him by his past.”
“If his last indiscr
etion happened less than two weeks ago, can it even be considered his past? I mean, that’s practically the present.”
“Past is anything that’s already happened. You can’t change the definition to suit your circumstances. And why are you even trying to talk yourself out of this so much?”
I groan with frustration. “I don’t know. I think he scares me.”
“How so?”
“Not like he’d physically hurt me. I’m talking about how he might break my heart and walk away completely unscathed.”
“There are no guarantees with any relationship. Even friendships end sometimes. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life long term, but that doesn’t mean they don’t enrich your life while they’re there.”
“Yeah, I guess. It doesn’t sound scary when you explain it, but as soon as we get off the phone, my head will be spinning from thinking about him. Why is it so difficult to get him out of my thoughts? Am I blowing this all up because I hadn’t been given an orgasm by someone else in years?”
“What?” she shouts. “You said you kissed him. You didn’t mention any orgasms.”
“Orgasm as in single and mine,” I correct.
“At least he’s a giver.” She laughs.
“He is, and let’s just say he has a lot to give, if you catch my drift.”
She titters. “Hell yeah. So let me get this straight. You kissed him first?”
“Yeah, but it was meant to be a friendly peck, as a thank you.”
“What happened then?”
“Our lips touched and everything else disappeared. It was the kiss I’ve read about in romance books, but it’s never happened to me before.”
“Aww, that’s so romantic.”
“I don’t know how romantic it is that he slipped me the tongue, but it was definitely mind blowing.”
“You kissed and then what happened?” she presses for more details.
“Okay, nosey.” I laugh. “We ended up dry humping until I came. And then he went home.”
She snorts. “Yeah he went home to take care of his blue balls.”
“I don’t want to think about what he did when he went home.” I’m such a liar.
“Please. Who do you think you’re talking to? I bet that’s all you thought about last night.”
“No, I replayed everything that happened and freaked the fuck out about it all. And that’s pretty much what I’ve done since he left my house. I’ve been useless. I can’t stop thinking we shouldn’t have done that, but at the same time, I’m longing for it to happen again.”
“Well, he did save you from a long dry spell.”
“Oh my God. This might be a case of me falling for my savior. What’s that syndrome called?”
“Transference,” she states matter-of-factly before bursting into peals of laughter. “That is not what’s going on with Flynn. You’re hilarious.”
“Hmph. I’m glad you find my situation amusing.”
“I said you’re hilarious, not the situation.”
“I don’t know what to do about Flynn.”
“Why do you need to do anything about him? Can’t you continue to see him and see how things go? Why are you getting so ahead of yourself?”
“Those are great points. But since my divorce, this is what I do when I like a guy. I get nervous and usually end up pushing him away after a few dates before anything physical happens.”
“You’ve already made it past that point with Flynn. At least you're making progress.”
“I think you’re right. I need to calm down and just keep spending time with him. It doesn’t need to be anything more than friends hanging out.”
“I’m not sure that’s going to work, but you do you, babe.”
“What’s that mean?” I don’t like how doubtful she sounds.
“You broke the seal. You kissed him and fooled around. It’s hard to go back to platonic once you’ve sampled the goods.”
“I’m not going to be ruled by my sexual urges. I’ve gone without sex for years and I’ve been fine.”
“If you say so.”
I frown. “I don’t like the snarky tone of your voice.”
“Too bad. I already know how this story goes, and soon you will too.” Now she’s annoying me.
“I love you, Sadie, but fuck off.”
“I know the truth hurts.” I can hear the laughter in her voice.
“Don’t you have a fiancé to bother?” I ask.
“You’re right, I do. You should be getting your invitation to our wedding soon.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing you become Mrs. Brian Kenger. It’s going to be a great time.”
“I’ll check in with you again later this week for a sex status update.”
“Sadie,” I sigh her name. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
“Too late, babe. They’re sky high. I want you to have what I do. I’ve never been this happy in my life.”
“Thank you. I want that too, but I’m not sure I’m ready for it just yet.”
“Love comes when it thinks you’re ready. You don’t get to pick when you fall.”
A knock on the door cuts my reply off.
“Come in,” I call out and then speak into the phone once more. “I’ve gotta run. We’ll talk soon.”
“I can’t wait to hear the details.”
“Bye, Sadie.” I hang up.
Margot stands in the doorway with a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers. “These just came.”
I usher her forward with a wave. “Is there a card?”
“There is.” She sets the vase down on the corner of my desk and hands me a small envelope.
“You can go now,” I tell her when I notice she seems hesitant to leave.
“Boo. I want to know if they’re from Flynn.” She turns and walks out, closing the door behind her.
Opening the envelope, I pull out the card.
Nadia,
You told me the rainbow was your favorite color. Here’s a rainbow of flowers to brighten your day. I’d like to take you out tonight, somewhere fun, just the two of us. We can laugh and be ourselves. There will be no cameras to worry about. I’ll pick you up at six. — Flynn
Placing the card down, I rise and walk around to the front of my desk. I bend over and bury my nose in the fragrant blooms. He’s right, it does look like a rainbow. I’m touched at how thoughtful his gesture is. As much as I’m off balance after last night, I at least owe him a phone call to thank him.
Returning to my seat, I pick up my cell phone and dial his number.
“Hello.” His deep voice is toe-clenchingly sexy.
“Flynn.” My own voice sounds hoarse.
“Nadia.”
“Thank you for the gorgeous flowers. I love them.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re pleased.”
“They’re on my desk, so I can look at them all the time. Maybe they’ll make dealing with stubborn clients easier.”
“Do we have a meeting today?” he asks.
“No, we don’t. But believe it or not, you’re not my most stubborn client.”
“That surprises me. Now I need to know who it is.”
“I can’t tell you that,” I say.
“Is it Darren? Nah, he’s not that stubborn. It’s Levi, isn’t it?”
“Flynn, I’m not going to reveal who. It would go against the contract I sign with my athletes.”
“Rules suck,” he supplies.
I laugh. “Yeah, you never met a rule you liked, but some of us prefer rules. It keeps things from getting complicated.” We’re the perfect example of this. If I hadn’t broken the no kissing rule, everything would be normal. He said he wouldn’t kiss me unless I asked or kissed him first, and he kept his word. The one time I break one of my rules and it bites me in the ass. That’s why I’m typically a rule follower.
“What’s the verdict on going out with me later?” he asks.
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
“Why woul
dn’t it be?” He sounds irked.
“Things got out of hand last night. Maybe we should keep the time we spend together to a minimum,” I explain.
“Why would we do that? I like spending time with you and you like spending time with me. It seems silly to deny ourselves the pleasure of each other’s company.”
He’s right. And as much as I know I should say no, there’s an overpowering urge to say yes.
“Nadia.” His voice deepens, sucking me in even more. “We’ll be out in public the entire time. Nothing will happen that you don’t want to.”
He’s going out of his way to make sure I’m good with the plan. How can I say no?
“Okay,” I mumble.
“What?” he teases.
“Okay,” I say louder.
“That’s better. The first time, you sounded like you were being forced to go out with me. I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing you.”
“Even if you are?” I ask.
“You don’t really feel like you don’t have a choice, do you?” he questions, sounding concerned.
“No.” I giggle. “I was only messing with you.”
“Does six o’clock work for you?” he asks.
“Yes. I’ll be ready. What should I wear?”
“Dress casual. Wear something you wouldn’t mind getting dirty.”
“How dirty?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” he replies.
“I really thought you were going to say something cheesy like ‘how dirty do you want to get.’”
“That would be too predictable. I have to be sharp with you and save my cheese for the moments it’ll be most impactful.”
“Back to the ‘how dirty are we getting’ question. I really need to know the answer. There’s a scale of dirtiness.”
“Really?” He sounds intrigued. I can picture his expression.
“Of course. Are we talking about taking a walk or are we talking mud wrestling?” He laughs before I continue. “See what I mean? That’s a huge difference, but both will get you dirty.”
“I’ll give you a hint. It’s closer to a walk than mud wrestling.” I hear the humor in his tone.
CHANGING THE PLAYER: Charleston Pirates #1 Page 11