by Hondo Jinx
“Yeah,” Hannah chimed in. “Let’s go back to Bawley’s and see the kitties and Aunt Nina and the doggies and…” and on and on she went, rattling off people and things back at the ranch as Tammy stared across the table at her son, who returned to shredding his napkin.
How long was Ty going to hold this against her? She had no idea. She wished he would just talk about it but knew he wouldn’t. When Ty was hurting, he tightened up and suffered in private.
The waitress came back, all smiles, and delivered their check and boxes.
Tammy pounded her coffee and dumped both meals in the boxes and pulled a wet wipe from her purse to get the honey off Hannah’s face.
She just wanted to get back on the road again.
When she stood and started shepherding the kids toward the register, a volley of nasty thoughts popped off behind her. Two of the boy-men noticed her ass and told their buddies, and two additional thought streams joined in.
And just like that, the pounding cascade of their thoughts stripped her and groped her and fucked her. In one man’s mind, she was compared to some girl Sadie. In another’s, she was fucked in the mouth, good and hard. Another was busy fucking her in the ass.
Normally, she would’ve let it fly. These were common thoughts from packs of boy-men raised on hardcore porn.
But her nerves were frayed, and she was angry—at herself, at David, at Brawley, at Charlie, at the world.
Her eyes focused on one of the guys, who was leering at her over a cup of steaming coffee. Releasing a heavy stream of juice, she nailed him right between the eyes with a telepathic blast.
“Shit!” he shouted, banging around in the booth. “Holy fuck! My pants are on fire!”
She hurried away but glanced over her shoulder just as the boy-man doused the imaginary fire with his cup of ice water. Then he was up, freaking out and brushing at his wet pants, and his friends were laughing and telling him to sit the fuck down.
“Come on, kids,” Tammy said, hustling her kids past shocked customers to where the waitress lingered beside the register, gawking at the fighting men, paralyzed with shock.
“Here,” Tammy said, handing her the check and enough cash to cover it and a decent tip.
Then she was out the door, telling the kids to stay close and sticking to the sidewalk as they beelined it for the car Jamaal had loaned her.
Hannah was giddy, laughing about the man who had wet his pants. Tammy tried to shut her down, saying they’d talk about it later, but the little girl kept squealing laughter.
Vaguely, Tammy was aware of traffic zooming past in both directions, a steady stream of cars even at this hour, and she realized that her decision to head west had been entirely arbitrary.
They could continue heading west or head in the other direction. They could take any exit to anywhere, anytime. They could head north or south or north by northwest, even though she didn’t know what the hell that even meant.
Suddenly, she felt unsteady on her feet, as if the world might tilt sharply and pitch her out into some unknowable void. Her heart was fluttering, and she couldn’t get her breath to kick over. Her fingertips felt numb, and—
“Brawley!” Ty cried.
“Bawley!” Hannah echoed as best she could, and both children rushed forward to embrace the towering cowboy striding toward them now, a big smile coming onto his face as he crouched down and spread his arms wide and the kids pounded into him, hollering with delight.
And with that, Tammy lurched to a halt and burst into tears, her whole body convulsing with racking sobs until she felt his arms around her, hauling her into a hug and heard his good, pure voice at her ear, saying, “Come on back with me, darlin. Come home.”
14
The kids rushed to Nina, who stood beside the RV, smiling at Tammy and wiping at tears of her own. Hannah pounded into the purple-haired beauty, squealing with delight. Ty restrained himself, swaggering over to give her a manful hug.
Nina crouched down and pulled them close. To Tammy she said, “You’re coming back with us, right?”
Tammy was clinging to Brawley like a life preserver, but she said, “I… I don’t know.”
“Let’s talk about it,” Brawley said, giving her a squeeze. “Nina will watch the kids for a minute.”
Nina took the kids inside the RV.
Tammy watched them go, wiping at her eyes. She looked tired and sad and overjoyed all at once.
“Let’s go to Red Haven so we can really talk,” he said.
Tammy hesitated. Some part of her was probably balking at the notion of zipping off to a different dimension while her children remained here. But then she nodded. “All right.”
Holding Tammy close, he recited the inscription.
The world faded. A moment later, they were standing in the cabin.
For once, Brawley was actually happy not to see the red-haired mystery lady. He needed to talk to Tammy and wanted her to have the chance to sort things out.
She was amazed by the cabin and their matter-of-fact teleportation. She left his side and walked the perimeter of the room, studying the walls, the floor, the ceiling.
When Tammy reached the door and touched the bolt, Brawley said, “Let’s not open that, darlin. Might could be something waiting on the other side.”
Tammy pulled her fingers back as if she’d touched an open flame.
When she turned back to him, her eyes were sad. “I’m sorry I left like that. I was afraid if I waited to say goodbye in person that I wouldn’t have the strength to go through with it.”
Brawley gave her half a grin. “Well, you should’ve waited for me, then. Would’ve saved us both a lot of driving.”
Tammy tried to return his smile but didn’t quite manage. She took a deep breath and let it shudder free. “I’m so confused, Brawley.”
“I know, darlin.”
“And I’m so damned tired.”
“You want to take a nap?”
She looked at him like he was crazy. “A nap?”
“Yeah. Time sells for pennies on the dollar here. You nap for an hour, only ten minutes pass back at home.”
“Thank you but no. I’m too tired to nap.”
That brought a grin to his face. “Too tired to nap? No offense, darlin, but that don’t make sense.”
Tammy shook her head. “Maybe not but that doesn’t stop it from being true.” She glanced around the place. “This is a parent’s dream, though. A place to slow time, catch your breath?”
Brawley nodded. “You’re welcome anytime.”
“You mind if I smoke?”
“Go right ahead.”
“Thanks, Brawley. I don’t generally smoke inside, but—”
“Go ahead,” Brawley said. As the beautiful, bedraggled Bender fished for her smokes and lighter, he grabbed an empty water bottle from the table and pulled out his pocketknife and cut away the upper half of the bottle and held out the bottom to her. “Ashtray.”
Tammy laughed and took a drag and let her eyelids flutter shut.
For a time, they were both silent.
Tammy stood there with one arm folded across her body just beneath her breasts, the other holding the cigarette aloft.
When she opened her eyes, she said, “What?”
“What?”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Kind of intense. But smiling. I don’t know. What are you thinking?”
“Must be strange, not being able to read my thoughts.”
Tammy shrugged and squinted at him over the cigarette as she took another drag, then tapped her ashes into the half bottle and exhaled a long stream of pale smoke. “I don’t know. It is and it isn’t. I mean, sometimes, I block out the chatter, you know? A lot of the time, honestly. Unless I’m afraid or something, like I’m out in public with the kids.”
“Makes sense.”
“Besides,” she said, “I know you and know your thoughts. Kind of. I know them we
ll enough to know you say it like it is, anyway. So just go ahead and tell me what you were thinking.”
Now it was Brawley’s turn to shrug. “I guess I was just liking you.”
“Liking me?”
“Looking at you.”
“Oh.”
“Not because you’re pretty. Well, not just because of that.”
Tammy smiled weakly. “Some sweet talker you’re turning out to be.”
“Hey, you asked.”
“Fair enough.”
“But I like looking at you. You look like you.”
She laughed again. “Well, that’s good, I guess.”
“It is. I like the way you stand, the way you move. The way you hold your cigarette when you talk. I like the way you blow out smoke when you shake your head, like it’s part of the conversation.”
“Most guys try to talk their girls out of smoking.”
“Darlin, I’d be happy if you quit smoking because that shit’s bad for you. But it’s your life, and I’m not going to try to tell you how to live it. And whatever you’re doing, I’ll enjoy watching you.”
She smiled at him. “You’re sweet, Brawley. Really sweet. And I appreciate you coming all these miles to try to get me back. But I kind of wish you hadn’t.”
Brawley shook his head at that. “Let’s hash this out, darlin. Shoot straight and get it all out, all right? So here it is. This is me making my move. I want you to come back with us, and I want to be with you.”
Tammy’s smile was pained. “I love hearing you say that, and I really want to come back, but Brawley… you don’t need me in your life.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, it is. You already have five young wives.”
“Is that what’s bothering you?”
“No, not like you’re thinking. I mean, it’s strange, but I don’t mind the idea of sharing you with the other women.” Tammy laughed. “That sounds so strange. But I don’t. If you were a different sort of man, I wouldn’t do it. But you hold it all together. You’re strong and decent, and you pay attention to all of them.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I’m old.”
“Bullshit. We already covered this, darlin. Twenty-seven ain’t old.”
“You say that now. Wait five years. Callie will be what… twenty-three? I’ll be thirty-two. Thirty-two isn’t twenty-three.”
“I don’t give a damn.”
“Meanwhile, Remi’s a Carnal, so she won’t even age. Not for a long, long time.”
“I keep waiting for you to say something that makes sense.”
“I am making sense. Try to see it from my point of view. Remi’s not the only Carnal. You’re one, too. In forty or fifty years, you’ll look the same as you do now. But I’ll be a wrinkly old lady.”
“And I’ll love you just the same.”
Tammy shook her head.
Brawley said, “We might could go to the bridge club arm-in-arm and cause a stir.”
Tammy laughed. “Yeah. Or water aerobics.” But then she turned serious again. “We joke about it now, but—”
“Darlin, when did I give you the impression that I’m a fickle man?”
She looked at him for a second, searching his eyes, as if hunting a crack in his telepathic shield to take a peek at his innermost thoughts. “Never.”
“That’s because I ain’t. I don’t have a fickle bone in my body. I make up my mind, that’s it.”
“Well, you’re young yet.”
“What difference does that make?”
“I just want you to know what you’re thinking about getting into here. I have two kids, in case you forgot.”
“I love those kids.”
“I know. And they love you. But they can be a challenge. Having kids is great, but it changes everything.”
“I’m fixing to have a whole mess of kids. I’m ready.”
Again, she paused to look at him. “I know you are. You’re a good man, Brawley, and you’re going to be an amazing father.”
“If that’s the way you feel, stop jerking around and come back with me.”
“So we can bond?”
He nodded.
“You don’t need me to crack your strand,” she said. “Arabella wants you.”
He shrugged.
“She’s gorgeous,” Tammy said. “And what… twenty-two?”
“Twenty-one.”
Tammy frowned. “Even better. And she doesn’t have kids.”
“Arabella’s a looker, and yeah, she could crack my strand, but I don’t want her.”
“Why?”
He moved forward and took her hands in his. They felt small and cold. “Because I want you.”
She looked up into his eyes and gave his hands a squeeze. “Thanks,” she whispered. “But—”
“And part of that is the kids,” he interrupted. “You talk about having kids like it’s a mark against you. I want those kids in my life.”
“I can’t help thinking that way. Ever since Charlie died, I figured I was done. Most men look at a woman with kids, they see mouths to feed. They don’t want another man’s children. They want—”
“Most men are dumb as hell,” Brawley said. “I’m adopted, darlin. Pa and Mama aren’t my blood.”
“Really?”
“Really. Couldn’t tell, could you?”
She shook her head.
“Quit worrying about my side of things. I know what I want, and I know what I’m getting into. So that’s that. My mind’s made up. I love you, and I want to be with you. Only thing you got to ask yourself is do you want it.”
Tammy smiled and let out a heavy sigh. “I do. I really do. I have feelings for you, too, Brawley. Don’t make me say it. Not yet. I—”
Brawley laughed. “You take your time, darlin. I love you. So I told you. I sure as hell didn’t tell you so you’d say it back. I just wanted you to know is all.”
Tammy nodded, smiled, and laid her head on his chest.
He put his arms around her and held her close.
“Are you going to the Chop Shop?” she asked.
“I am.”
Her arms squeezed him harder. She didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally, she said, “I miss Charlie so damn bad.”
“I reckon you do.”
“Every day.”
“I imagine so.”
“Well, I can’t do it again.” She leaned back, looking up at him through dewy eyes, looking sad and frightened and desperate. “I can’t bury another man.”
Brawley nodded, saying nothing.
“And even if I could, I wouldn’t risk putting the kids through that again. I couldn’t bear to see Ty suffer like that.”
“There’s a lot of ways to suffer, darlin. If you strike out on your own, you think you can guarantee Ty’s happiness?”
Tammy shook her head. “But what if—”
“What if nothing,” Brawley said, letting some of his frustration come into his voice. “Is there a chance I’ll get killed at the Chop Shop? Yes. But I’m hard to kill. You go marrying some happy fuggle, he might could die in a wreck or drop dead from a heart attack. Stop thinking about death and start thinking about life.”
“Are you going to keep doing stuff like this? Fighting and all?”
He nodded. “I gotta keep fighting until I get things sorted out.”
“Or until you die.”
“Or until I die.”
“What then?”
“Then you’re a widow again—but a rich widow.”
“I wouldn’t even want the money. I’d be too heartbroken to spend it.”
“Not true. You’d keep on keeping on. For the kids if not for yourself. Only you’d have enough money that you wouldn’t have to worry anymore.”
“Even if I said I’d go back with you, I wouldn’t bond with you. Not now. Not here.”
Brawley grinned at her. “You don’t like my bachelor pad?”
“I’m serious, Brawley. I find you… very attracti
ve. But I’m not just old, I’m old fashioned.” Tammy lifted her chin a little. “I would want a wedding. For the kids, especially. Nothing fancy. Just us and the girls and your family, right at the ranch.”
“All right. When?”
Tammy stared into his eyes, blinking rapidly, a bright smile dawning upon her features. “How about tomorrow?”
Brawley nodded. “Tomorrow sounds great, darlin. But you’ll have to wait on a ring.”
Tammy laughed. The sound burst out of her like ten pounds of joy that had been trapped in a five-pound box. It was a glorious sound, full of relief and happiness and hope.
Tammy seized him by the shirt and bore her eyes into his. “I don’t care about a ring. I care about you. Period. Okay? I just want to be with you. It scares the hell out of me, but it’s all I want. You’re all I want. I want to spend my life with you, Brawley.”
“Well, then,” Brawley said, taking her hand and lowering to one knee. “Tammy Schultz, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” Tammy said. “Yes and yes and yes.” She burst out laughing again, even louder this time, a sound of pure elation muddled by happy tears as he stood and took her in his arms.
“I love you, Brawley,” she sobbed.
“I love you, too, darlin,” he said, and turning her face to his, he kissed her for the first time.
15
Brawley drove.
Nina wept and wept and wept, her big heart overflowing with love. “I’m just so happy,” she kept sniffing from the second row of the RV, where she cradled sleeping Hannah on her lap.
Ty was strapped in beside her, grinning like he’d just won the mutton-busting world championship.
Brawley kept sneaking glances in the rearview mirror just to see the boy’s big smile.
Tammy rode shotgun, illuminating the RV with her own beautiful smile.
They towed Jamaal’s car behind them, cloaking hard and zooming along the highway at 110 miles an hour.
When they finally made it back to the ranch, night was ebbing. They turned into the gravel driveway and Brawley triggered the electric gate, which opened wide for them then swung closed after they had passed.
A drone swooped past.
Brawley’s Gearhead strand buzzed with an incoming message.