by Lisa M Airey
“It’s like Christmas?”
“Yes,” he continued. “But, there is more to this than gift giving. As your sponsor, I will feed you a piece of buffalo meat from my hand. You will also feed me. It’s a symbolic gesture of care and protection.”
“Like the cake ritual at a wedding?”
“Yes. Afterwards, there is feasting, tremendous feasting. Everyone will try to stuff you full.”
“Like Thanksgiving?”
He nodded. “Like Thanksgiving.”
Julie laughed and her laughter was low and easy and relaxed. He smiled with her.
“Will you accept?”
Julie took a deep breath then nodded.
“Good,” he said. “I’ll pick you up Saturday morning and bring you back Monday evening.”
“How long is this ceremony?”
“I will need you for three days and two nights.”
“Where will we stay?”
“In my tipi.”
“That’s a very public statement.” Her voice was heavy and concerned. “Everyone is going to scream ‘buffalo robe!’”
He chuckled low and deep.
“You laugh! How can you laugh?”
“I like the idea.”
On Tuesday, Julie requested a formal meeting with Cole. She had a lot of guilt riding on all of her missed time at work. There had been baseball finals and two stints in the hospital. Now she needed a three-day weekend to become a member of the Sioux Nation. She didn’t even know how to format the request without embarrassing herself professionally.
Cole entered the conference room and assessed her quiet agitation. Before she told him what was on her mind, he opted to diffuse the tension first.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“No thanks,” she replied, her voice tight and quiet.
He filled two mugs, added sugar and a little cream to hers and handed her the hot beverage, locking eyes as he did so. She pursed her lips, but accepted the mug, wrapping her cold hands around its warmth.
Cole drank his cowboy style, black with no adornments, but when he took a sip, he grimaced. “Tastes like I’m licking a three-day-old ashtray.”
“Mine’s delicious too,” she answered absently.
He raised an eyebrow and took another sip. “That was a really nice thing that you and the team did for Rose.”
“That was entirely Gray’s idea,” Julie said. “Right down to the rowdy hand-delivering of the thank-you notes.”
“Really?”
“Really. And he hand-carved those raccoon earrings that you’ve seen Rose wear every day. In fetish-speak, raccoons are resourceful creatures. She funded the trip to the state finals, as you know.”
“Gray did all of this? No prodding?”
“All on his own,” she avowed. “No prodding.”
“He sounds like a good man, Julie,” he said slowly.
“He is. He just looks meaner than hell.”
Cole laughed. “He does indeed. With his build, I wonder why he ever chose to get into youth counseling. Surely, he must know how intimidating he looks, especially to a young person.”
“You’d be surprised,” said Julie. “He commands respect, first out of pure unadulterated fear, then out of blind devotion, deference and admiration. The kids love him. Personally, I have a theory—”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Have you ever feared something so much that you wanted to be that thing that you fear just so that you wouldn’t need to be afraid anymore?” The question stumped him, so she phrased it differently. “If the deadliest thing in the jungle was a tiger and you were in the jungle, wouldn’t you rather be the tiger?”
“I see where you are going with this.”
“Have you read The Life of Pi?”
He nodded.
“I’m sure that the kids fear him at first, but then, they want to be just like him. And he leads by good example.”
Cole smiled. “You like him?”
“I like him very much.” She paused. “He’s asked me to become a member of the Sioux Nation.”
Cole lifted both eyebrows this time. “That’s not a small gesture.”
“I didn’t think so, but Gray was rather vague about it all.”
“This is not something that you want to consider lightly.”
“I’m aware.”
“You’d be going from no family to a nation of relatives within 72 hours. Relatives are a lot of work.”
“The police force adopted me months ago,” she countered. “I haven’t felt overly pressed. In fact, it’s been wonderful.”
Cole nodded. “You need a day or two off for the ceremony?”
“Yes,” she said. “And I feel guilty about asking. I’ve lost so much time this year.”
Cole took a deep breath and released the air slowly. “This year has been hard on you physically, and you’ve missed some time, but you put in long hours, more than your share. I don’t have any problem with you taking a day or two for pleasure. It’s well deserved.”
Julie purchased a copper bracelet for Gray for the Making Relatives ceremony. It was about an inch thick, flat and hand-beaten. It looked as rugged as he was. The only need it fulfilled was a deep ache Gray felt in his left wrist when rain threatened, but she thought that enough to make the purchase.
She passed Gray a go-cup of coffee when he knocked on her door Saturday morning and handed him her duffle. She was a bundle of nerves. “Tell me what to expect.”
“Well, today,” said Gray ushering her into his car, “we will burn some sage as part of a purification ritual. This pulls all Sioux and their guests together in spirit.”
“Okay.”
“Then sage and tobacco will be placed into a buffalo bladder.” He watched her face fall.
“Bear with me, now.” She nodded. “The bladder will be sealed, tied and wrapped in buckskin,” he continued. “This object represents both the Great Spirit and the force of his spirit on earth, for all peoples, in all directions.”
She nodded again.
“The next day, at dawn, all of the Sioux and their guests will smoke the peace pipe. The bag will be passed to everyone who must kiss it to acknowledge their willingness to live together in peace.”
“I have to kiss a buffalo bladder?” she said, trying to keep her face neutral.
“You do,” said Gray firmly. “Then, to show our willingness to come together as one people, the Sioux and their guests exchange gifts.”
“Christmas in July,” she teased. “I’m looking forward to that.”
“On the last day, we enter a special tipi, again burning sage. Our faces are painted.”
“In war paint?” Julie asked, her jaw dropping.
“Peace paint, Julie,” he scolded. “Dried buffalo meat is purified over the burning sage and I will place a bit of this meat into your mouth and you will place a bit into mine. After we do this, we will smoke the pipe again acknowledging you as a relative of the Sioux Nation.”
“All right.”
“Then,” he continued, “After we smoke the peace pipe, there is chanting and feasting. I hope that you have packed your appetite.”
Julie patted her belly. “Always,” she said. “Feed me, love me, keep me.”
“That’s the idea.”
When they arrived, Gray took their gear and tossed it into a tipi. Julie fingered the brightly painted animal skin stretched tight against its wooden supports and stepped inside.
The interior was brighter than she expected. She looked up and found the source of illumination. There was a small opening at the apex of the structure.
“Smoke hole,” said Gray following her gaze. He unrolled a soft and pliable camping mat, then unzipped a heavily padded sleeping bag and spread it out on top. He took another sleeping bag, unzipped it and laid it atop the first.
Julie watched his body move, his muscles bunching beneath his shirt. “Gray?” He stopped and looked up. “Could I have a hug here?”
He stood immed
iately and went to embrace her. “Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said, nuzzling into him.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Having your arms around me tonight,” she said. “I’m looking forward to it. You are just winning me over. Completely.”
“Goody,” he breathed, nipping her neck. He pulled her from the tipi, his arm around her waist. She let herself be led, wrapping an arm around his hips, her fingers locking onto a belt loop. They bumped into each other a few times as they synchronized their stride then made off to the common area. A sea of tipis stretched across the meadow.
“How did you know which tipi was ours?” she asked, surveying the grounds.
“Because I constructed it,” he said with a smile. “I also painted it. The design is mine.”
“But they all look so similar.”
“Think ‘Dalmatian’, Julie. They all have spots, but each dog sports an individual pattern.”
She harrumphed at him, swinging her attention back to the conical dwellings. Then her eyes shifted to a young man who stood in front of them watching them approach. He was slender, but strongly built, like a long- distance runner. His whole stance conveyed challenge and confrontation. His aggression was palpable.
“Who’s that?” she asked. He looked vaguely familiar to her, but she couldn’t place him.
Gray followed her eyes. “That is Lync Swiftwater. Stay clear of that one. He’s bad news.”
“Why is he watching us with such ferocity?”
“He doesn’t have a guest for the ceremony,” he said. “I do.”
“This bothers him?”
“Very much.”
“But I thought that this ceremony was all about building relationships and peace among all peoples.”
“It is,” Gray said slowly. “Have you never gone to church and fought your way out of the parking lot?” She looked at him blankly. “Same rules apply. People of all nations talk peace. Not all live it. Come on,” he said, pulling her to the left. “Let me introduce you to some nice people.”
He moved her off toward a group of women who were loading up tables with casserole dishes and trays of food. As he did so, he glanced back over his shoulder and gave Lync a hard look.
Julie chatted with the ‘lunch ladies’ then bumped into Ben Half Moon later that afternoon. He pulled her aside good-naturedly.
“We are very happy to welcome you, Julie. And it’s good to see Gray with a guest.”
“He’s a wonderful man.”
“To be sure.” He paused. “I understand that he is building a house.”
Julie nodded.
“That is a big statement.”
“How so?”
“Well, a man must prove that he is able to provide before he can earn a wife. He is working very hard to prove himself worthy.”
Julie’s mouth fell open.
“And we’ve all been working very hard at fostering your relationship,” he continued.
“Excuse me?”
“When we found out that Gray was sweet on the new veterinarian,” he nodded at her, “we started asking him to take our pets into town so he would have an excuse to see you more often.”
Julie shook her head in shock. “Gray orchestrated all those visits just to see me?”
“No. We orchestrated all those visits. The Sioux community.”
“Did Gray know what you were doing?”
“Nothing was ever said,” explained Ben with a shrug. “Nor was there a need for words. Julie, you are here to become part of the Sioux Nation. What you must understand are the many ways in which we take care of each other. Gray had a need. We recognized it and did our part to help him on his path. I guess you could say our actions embodied what this ceremony is all about.”
Julie was stunned. “I see.”
“When we see you two together, we feel a part of the union.”
“Is that why so many watch us?”
She saw a cloud pass across his face. “That is part of it.”
“What is the other part?”
“Gray is a very special man, Julie. They are curious to find out more about how you and he relate to each other.”
“Is this because of our different backgrounds?”
“Yes… and also because of something that happened almost twenty years ago.”
Julie waited.
“Gray had his eye on someone once, when he was younger, in his teens. Her family didn’t approve.”
“Gray told me about this.”
“Did he now?”
Julie nodded. “Who was the young lady? Have I met her? Did she marry?”
Ben shifted his weight uncomfortably. “She did not marry.” He looked away. “You have not met her, but you do know of her. She was the woman who was attacked and killed the day of the blizzard.”
Julie’s stomach turned. In her mind’s eye, she replayed the scene in the state park parking lot when Gray was informed of the victim’s name. She had thought that his shock stemmed only from the fact that she was one of his own.
“He was still in love with her, wasn’t he?” she asked, her heart fracturing into tiny shards of hurt.
“No, Julie. He had moved on. I know this. And I know that what he feels for you is quite different from what he felt for Susan.”
She looked doubtful.
“Gray didn’t fight for Susan. He conceded to her family’s wishes, but he fights for you, Julie.”
She nodded mutely.
He tossed his head across the throng of people milling about in front of the ceremonial tipi. “Gray is getting anxious. You best go to him now. Certain things are important to him and you are one among them. He knows that we’ve had a serious talk. Go stand beside him, he’ll feel better.”
Ben Half Moon was right. When she moved up next to Gray, he clasped her hand firmly and smiled as if all was right with the world.
Over the next days, Julie stood beside Gray in the ceremonial tipi listening to the melodic cant of the sacred words. The air was thick with the rich and heady smoke of burning sage.
Julie tried to focus on the ceremonial proceedings, tried to fully participate in the spirit of the ritual, but Lync did much to fragment her concentration. His envy was a palpable thing. Too often, she caught him staring at her with hostile interest. She called Gray’s attention to their silent watchdog. Gray was not pleased.
On the last night, Julie listened to the rise and fall of all the voices as they joined together in song. She and Gray were sitting together on the ground, Indian-style. Without thinking, she placed her palm on his thigh. He turned to her, his eyes fire-bright, and placed his palm on her knee.
When the singing was finished, the feasting began. Julie was hugged by many who welcomed her into their community. Everyone fed her. Everyone over-fed her. Although separated from Gray by the crush of well-wishers, she found his eyes upon her every time she searched for him.
The Sioux danced under the stars as if pulled by the same celestial forces. Round and round they went under an ink black sky.
She found Gray at her elbow. “Let me fix you something to eat, Julie. I, too, am pledged to care for you.”
“No more food,” she begged.
“Then what else can I give you?”
She fell silent and placed a hand on his chest. His heart beat warm and steady beneath her palm. He laid a hand atop hers then lifted her chin and gazed into her emerald eyes. “I’ve given you that already, Julie Hastings,” he whispered. “Many, many moons ago.”
They walked back to their tipi arm-in-arm at the close of the ceremony. “You spoke with Ben Half Moon,” he said into the quiet.
“Yes,” said Julie.
When she didn’t elaborate, Gray grunted. “Anything you would like to share?”
“No,” said Julie with a smug, little grin.
He grunted again. She thought that he was responding to her sass, but he had stepped in front of her like a linebacker, shouldering her behind
him in one swift, very physical move. It happened so fast, Julie didn’t have time to react. They were walking along, then suddenly Gray was face to face with Lync. The disturbing young man would have collided with Julie had Gray not managed to pull her out of the way in time.
Julie gripped the back of Gray’s shirt with one hand and rested the other on the flat plane of his back. She was suddenly surrounded by sound. It was a growl, deep, low and ferociously primal. She felt the vibration of it in the palm of her hand and it moved up her arm in the form of little goose bumps.
Julie released Gray as if he were hot to the touch and stepped back in alarm. It was an animal sound, but it was coming from Gray. Lync gave her the briefest ghost of a smile, then stepped away into the dark.
She was rooted to the spot. Gray turned to her with a frown. “Come, Julie.” He had to practically tug her into motion as they made their way back to the tipi.
“You growled at him!” she exclaimed. He wrapped an arm tightly around her waist.
“He’s a nuisance,” said Gray. “I spoke to him in a language I hope he understands.”
“You growled at him!” she exclaimed once more.
He ushered her into their tipi and pulled her onto their bedroll.
“You growled at him!” She repeated for the third time. And he growled again, more softly this time and with different intent.
28
Elliott picked Julie up after work on Friday. They had a gig near Wasta and a bit of a drive to get there.
“How was your weekend?” he asked.
“Very nice. How was yours?”
“I didn’t do much. Band practice. Ball game. Stopped by my parents’ house for Sunday dinner. How did you spend your time?”
He obviously knew exactly how she had spent her weekend. “I visited the Sioux reservation, kissed a buffalo bladder, smoked some questionable tobacco, and had my face painted.”
“That Gray sure knows how to show a girl a good time.”
She chuckled. “How did you hear about my weekend?”
“Smoke signal.”
“Elliott!”
“That’s Kemo Sabe to you, Sioux.”