by Ivy Black
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “All that talking, and it isn’t like there’s anything going on, anyway. You know, I think I might—”
Which part of my brain ordered my feet to move, I wasn’t sure of, but mere seconds passed before I’d stepped up to Tess, cradled her head in my hands, and set my lips on hers. She was rigid in my hold, but she didn’t pull away, and as I bled my lips over hers, delighting in the sweet taste of her Chapstick, she relaxed and grabbed my sides. Nothing in me wanted to pull away. All of the logic I’d mustered over the last week to keep myself at bay had left me in the lurch. Some things were worth risking everything for. I’d done it with Caid, so why couldn’t I do it with Tess, too?
Was I getting greedy?
Tess let out a huff of disappointment when I finally managed to peel myself away. She tried a few times to say something, but only additional puffs of air came out.
“I just need time,” I said.
“Okay,” Tess responded in an airy tone. “Take all the time you need.”
I risked my resistance to reach out and stroke the back of my hand along Tess’ cheek. She leaned into it, so I quickly retreated back to my room, closing the door behind me. The bed was warm and welcoming as I flopped face down onto it, and I couldn’t stop a smile from etching from cheek to cheek. Between offering to stay in Hoppa long enough to get to MiD, having the conversation I just had with Nick, kissing Tess, and asking for time, I’d somehow run smack dab into something that made me happy enough to discard my dedication to not getting attached. I faded from consciousness as the thoughts rolled across my head.
There has to be a way. I just have to find it.
Chapter Twelve
Tess
The couple of weeks that elapsed between Colin telling me that he needed more time and the week of the MiD event passed in the blink of an eye. On the one hand, it felt like things had taken a giant step forward between Colin and me. The mornings typically involved kissing of some kind, sweet touches, or lingering hugs. Any verbal interaction between the two of us could only be considered flirting, and when it came right down to it, we were behaving like a couple. After about a week, we were sitting on the couch watching a movie, and Colin grabbed my hand and held it firmly.
“What’s this about?” I asked.
Colin blinked a couple of times at me. “Does it have to be about anything?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Then he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “Good.”
Our daily trips to the desert brought lots of alone time, and we’d gotten into the habit of driving out first thing after lunch, and after taking a couple of hours to do a sweep of the land and clubhouse, we would sit in the loft and talk until the sun was setting or until Lockjaw was grumbling at us to go get food on the days we brought him along.
On the other hand, it felt like we were stuck. The kisses, handholding, and flirting were all well and good, but whenever it felt like things may push past amorous, Colin would pull back. The marks he often left behind when he had to forcefully claw himself off me indicated that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
How much time did he need?
I’d never been one to talk out my feelings, being more of a boots-and-beer kind of girl, but I’d give anything to know what was going on inside Colin’s brain. Why was he holding back?
“Whoa.”
Colin’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. We were just getting off our bikes at the MiD location in the desert, but unlike the abandoned plot we’d found every day for the two weeks prior, the area was now drowning in vendors. A few bikes parked off to our side belonged to the Raging Vipers, based on the sigils on the side, and I recognized a few of the guys floating around and talking to some of the vendors.
“Wow,” I huffed. “They always show up a few days before the event. I guess I didn’t realize we were already so close.”
“Who are they? I thought that Nick said the vendors weren’t going to start showing up until the day before.”
“Our vendors,” I responded. “Even though it was the Steel Knights’ year to host the event, the Blazing Rebels’ hometown of Mascid and the Raging Vipers’ hometown of Collinstown always include a few booths directly from their towns in order to make their town’s residents feel more welcome. It’s best for them to get in first so that, when our vendors start piling in, there’s space for everyone.”
“Makes sense.” There was a gravelly quality to Colin’s voice that made me look in his direction. “What?”
“Is everything okay? You sound weird.”
“It’s just a lot of people. It’s gonna make ensuring that this place isn’t bugged a little more difficult.”
Colin’s consideration for things that no one else would think about was almost supernatural. “It’ll be okay. Now that the Rebels and Raging Vipers are around, too, it’s safer. Come on. Let’s check the clubhouse.”
We passed through the fence’s gates surrounding the desert plot and passed through the people, bound for the clubhouse. Those Raging Vipers who I recognized as I passed, I nodded hello to, but Colin’s pace was too rushed for me to stop for any proper conversations. He suddenly seemed much more erratic than he had been. Was he that nervous about the influx of people?
When we reached the clubhouse’s door, I reached out to unlock the door but stopped and faced Colin. “Hey, are you sure you’re good?” Colin’s head was on a swivel. He was folding up and releasing his fingers in a continuous pattern. It was the most unsettled I’d seen him since the day he arrived. “Colin.”
I grabbed his face and turned it toward mine, and he immediately leaned in. Never one to turn down a kiss from him, I mirrored his actions, and our lips met. His lips had a slight tremble to them. I pulled back and unlocked the door to the clubhouse, pulled him inside, and shut the door behind him. He didn’t resist when I brought him back in for another kiss. In fact, his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer.
This kiss reminded me of the one we shared right before Colin asked for more time. He dragged me as close to him as he could, like he was afraid he may lose his grip. Whatever comfort he was taking from our connection, I wanted him to feel secure about, so I held on tight and worked him through it. Finally, he pulled away.
“Sorry.”
My head was shaking before I could stop it. “For what?”
“I don’t like large groups of people.” He bobbed his head a little. “I don’t like large, uncontained groups of people.”
When I pulled on Colin’s hand, he relented, and I dragged him over to one of the clubhouse couches. We sat, and I flicked him on his forehead. “You probably should have brought that up before now.”
“Yeah.” Colin’s hands tightly held on to mine. “It didn’t really occur to me until I saw everyone.”
“Well, MiD isn’t a small event. Are you gonna be okay?”
He nodded. “I will. It just needed to hit me, that’s all.”
“Okay. Are you sure? My dad’s probably gonna be leaning on you a little this weekend. He trusts you.”
One of Colin’s hands drifted up to my face and stroked my cheek. “Yeah. I’m sure. Sorry.”
With a chuckle, I pecked Colin on the lips. “It’s okay not to be a superhero all the time, you know?”
Colin let out a laugh to match mine. “I’m hardly a superhero.”
I left it at that because arguing with him about that particular fact was hardly worth it. We stood up and gave the clubhouse the traditional sweep. Then Colin mustered up his courage, and we started to cover the grounds. Even though he claimed to be okay, Colin stuck to the stalls’ shadows, and on more than one occasion, I completely lost track of where he was. More than enough trust existed between the two of us, but every time I seemed to lose him, my heart would race a little quicker until I found him again.
In just the little bit of time that we’d been in the clubhouse, most of the Raging Vipers and vendors left,
leaving their locked booths behind for the big day, and those who were still hanging around left while we were walking around. Once everyone was gone, Colin’s head stopped whipping around so much, and his stalking movement abated, leaving a more normal pattern of movement behind.
Due to the little hiccup in Colin’s habitually confident demeanor, and since the grounds now held about a dozen vendor booths, the crawl across the grounds took longer than usual. The sun was already setting by the time we were done with the sweep. Colin and I would usually climb into the loft to relax and talk at this point. Even though his actions had become more normal in the time elapsed, his energy still felt a little unsettled. I didn’t want to give up our time in the loft, but he seemed like he could use a drink.
“Wanna head back?” I asked. “It’s hot out here, and a beer sounds great.”
He nodded. “Sure.”
“Okay. You head to your bike. I’ll go lock up and—”
“I’ll come with.”
I flipped around and stabbed a finger out toward him. “Hey! Don’t fucking damsel-in-distress me. I can take care of myself.”
Colin’s jaw dropped. “I, um… no. I just…” He sighed. “Never mind. I’ll meet you at the bikes.”
“Okay.” My auburn hair whipped around as I turned again to head to the clubhouse, and I immediately felt bad. If he was uncomfortable and just wanted to stick by me, that wasn’t bad. “Fuck,” I grumbled out loud to myself as I walked. I was too impulsive. Colin was good at thinking before he spoke. I needed to try that sometime.
With the lights off and alarm set at the clubhouse, I made my way back over to the bikes. Colin was already on his, and when I walked back out of the gate and locked it, Colin’s bike roared to life. I hadn’t even made it back to my bike when Colin revved his to life a few times and pulled out onto the street, starting off down the road without me.
All of me that felt bad before faded to being irritated. “Brat.”
Maybe I only had myself to blame for upsetting him, but he didn’t have to act so childishly about it. I got on my own bike and started off down the road after Colin. Trips between Hoppa and the MiD desert were usually really calming, but all I could think about was how to make nice with Colin. After the fractions of steps forward we’d taken, the last thing I wanted was to take a massive step back because I was so used to having to puff out my chest.
A small thought in the back of my mind told me that Colin may go straight home, but fortunately, he did stay on the highway past the exit to my house, and we took the exit for the Taphouse. When we were on the side road on the way to the bar, Colin’s pace slowed, and eventually, I was riding at his side again. We pulled into the parking lot and parked our bikes, and that time it was me who rushed him. I hopped off my bike, raced over to his side, and threw myself into a hug.
“I’m sorry. That was out of line.”
Fortunately, Colin didn’t pull back from me. “I’m sorry for—”
“No. You…” My words were getting all muddled in my brain. When it came to Colin, it often felt like I couldn’t think straight. “You don’t treat me like that. It was just an impulse.”
Colin squeezed me a little tighter. “I’ll never not worry about you.” He smirked. “Especially when mixed up with a guy like me.”
My heart fluttered at his smile. “Well, I meant what I said. I can take care of myself, you know?”
“I know, Tess,” Colin said. “You’ve always been a badass.” He ducked his head, and the logical part of my brain short-circuited. I tilted my head up and took the kiss he was offering, regretting it only when another bike’s rumble rocketed behind us.
“Shit.” I whipped my head over my shoulder. Any other member of the Steel Knights could have been rolling into the parking lot, and I would have felt okay.
But fate isn’t kind.
The bike that rolled into the parking lot while I was still trapped in Colin’s arms was Taylor’s chrome-plated cruiser. We wasted no time in pulling ourselves away from each other, but the way Taylor pulled his bike into the spot directly next to Colin, got off, and glared at Colin as he sauntered toward the front door was telling.
“That’s not good,” I muttered.
Colin ran a hand through my hair. “I’m not worried. Come on.”
By the time we got inside Hoppa’s, Taylor was already in his back corner, strangling the neck of a beer bottle with both hands. Our eyes instantly met, and Taylor kept his eyes on us while we picked a table and sat down. Before I knew it, we were locked in a continuous stare that neither of us was willing to break. I didn’t feel safe taking my eyes off Taylor for a second. And given the fact that he kept his eyes locked on me, I was warranted in my feelings.
“You all right, pumpkin?” The screech of a chair was enough to break my gaze. My eyes shifted toward my dad as he settled into a chair at our table. “You seem out of sorts.”
“I think that’s my fault,” Colin said. “Got a little jumpy in the desert today.”
“The Raging Vipers were there,” I tacked on. “The Collinstown vendors are in.”
“Ah,” my dad responded. “That’s my bad for not saying anything. I got word they may come in today, but I forgot to mention it.” He pounded a fist against Colin’s shoulder. “Good on you for keeping your eyes open, though. I knew I was right to trust you two with that mission.”
With a lift of his arm, my dad called over a waitress and ordered a round of drinks. As I watched him chatter away with Colin, I couldn’t help but smile. He’d been hanging around much more ever since Colin showed up. It was nice to get a warm feeling when I was in the club as opposed to the cold, neglected one I had before. If Colin really did leave one day, I’d be hard-pressed to go back to the way things used to be.
“Drinks on me,” my dad said. “I whooped Bullet’s ass in rummy earlier. He was talking a big game and put money on it, money that I won.”
“I’d like to thank you for teaching Colin, by the way. He makes me play it all the time.”
My dad chortled. “God, I knew there was a reason I liked this kid.”
We were all smiles until the door of Hoppa’s flew open. Everyone came to a screeching halt and looked over at the door, and the Steel Knights’ resident drunk, Adley “Stag” Johnson, came ambling in.
“Shit,” my dad growled. “Stag, I told you not to come up in here wasted anymore!”
“Stag?” Colin asked.
In the few weeks since Colin joined, we hadn’t seen Stag once. His drinking had been getting progressively worse as of late, and with MiD planning underway, my dad had given Stag the task of working with the prospects, exclusively in liquor-free environments. Clearly, he’d found his way to some booze.
“A non-officer member. Dad’s been keeping him out of the bar because he can’t handle his liquor.” I held out a hand in his direction. “As you can clearly see.”
Stag ambled over to the table and looked down at my dad. “I’m a grown ass man, Nicky. I’ll do what the fuck I want.”
My dad didn’t flinch. “You’re drunk. Get out.”
Suddenly, Stag’s gaze turned to me. “What the fuck are you looking at, Val?”
“It’s like he said. You’re drunk. Go home.”
Stag nearly went down as he turned to face me. His beer belly poked out at me, and his long, braided beard whipped around as he turned to face me. “I’ll go if you go with me, pretty girl.”
“Adley, knock it the fuck off,” my dad growled, actually raising his voice. “I really don’t want to have to kick your ass.”
I reached into the back pocket of my jeans, pulled out my favorite pair of brass knuckles, and slid them on my hand. “Oh, really?” I replied to my dad. “I’d love to.”
Stag let out one chuckle, then a second, and then started a gurgling string of barking laughter. Nothing in me thought that he was dumb enough to do anything stupid other than run his mouth, so when he reached a meaty hand out, took my hair into his fist, and yanked me to
ward his crotch, I was too stunned to react.
“Suck my dick, you bitch!” he barked.
My dad tried to slide out of his chair, but he wasn’t quick enough. I didn’t even hear Colin’s chair move, but suddenly, he was between Stag and me with his hand clutched around Stag’s throat. Although Stag was at least twice Colin’s size, Colin hunched and lifted Stag clear off his feet until he was about a foot off the ground. With impressive force, he flipped Stag sideways and drove him down onto the floor.
People screamed, and tables and chairs screeched as patrons slid out of the way, anticipating a fight, but Stag could barely move, and even if he could, he probably wouldn’t dare take Colin on with the piercing, horrifying gaze Colin pinned him with. All of the Steel Knights had converged on the altercation in an instant, but getting in between Colin and Stag wasn’t necessary. Colin walked over and settled back into his seat as if nothing had happened.
Bucky and Texas hiked their arms under Stag’s arms and dragged him off the ground. They both peered past me, and I followed their gazes over to Taylor. As the Sergeant at Arms, he was the one who made decisions about how members were punished for violating the bylaws, and they were waiting for an order. Taylor’s eyes were bouncing between Colin and Stag, but finally, they landed on Stag. He motioned his head toward the back, and Bucky and Texas pulled Stag behind the bar and through the doors toward the warehouse. Not much time elapsed before Taylor rushed back there himself, followed by the rest of the Steel Knights’ members.
“Maybe you two should get out of here for the night,” my dad said. “Let things calm down.” After that, he got up from the table himself and disappeared behind the bar.
“I’m fine with that,” Colin said.
“You go,” I replied. “I need to check in with Taylor.”
Part of me expected Colin to protest, but he wasn’t dumb. “Understood. I’ll see you at home.”
He stood up from the table and was out of the bar a moment later. He trusted me to take care of myself, and he didn’t deserve how I treated him in the desert. Another apology would be in order when I got home.