“From what I could see, she didn’t seem to have much meat on her, and not much hair for that matter. All I know is...the boppli looked like a boppli swaddled in a blanket. You have to remember, I’ve never seen one as young as this before, and the nurse had her wrapped tight, like a mummy in a blanket.”
Verity’s brow arched in surprise. “But surely you were at Naomi’s birth. Don’t you remember how she looked?” Verity slid the plate of food into the heated oven and then yanked out a chair across from him to wait for the food to heat.
When he didn’t respond, she looked his way. His hands clenched the back of the kitchen chair, and she noticed his face had blanched paper white. I knew it. Something is wrong. “What is it? There’s something you’re not telling me.” She touched his shoulder. His body was trembling.
“Sit down, Verity.” He cleared his voice, took a gulp of the coffee she’d handed him moments before.
Her eyes held him captive. She didn’t want to sit. She wanted to scream. “Is it Clara? The boppli?”
A frown pinched his forehead. “No. It’s not them. I told you. They’re fine.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. “It’s me. There are things you don’t know about me. It’s time you did.”
Verity remained standing, but her legs suddenly threatened to buckle under her. “What kinds of things, Leviticus? You’re scaring me.”
His shoulders stiffened. “I wasn’t at Naomi’s birth. I didn’t see her until she was almost six months old.”
“But you said—”
“No, I never said I was there. You assumed I was.” His eyes turned a dark blue. So dark she could see her own reflection in them. “Look. We’re both tired. It’s late. Tonight’s not the right time to talk about all this. I should have seen it was the wrong time to dump this on you.” He moved away from the table, his head down. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Verity watched her new husband leave the room, his meal forgotten. What secrets was he holding on to? Would he ever confide in her? She ran her hand across the table, brushed a few cookie crumbs into her hand. She’d wait awhile, approach him about this conversation when things were more settled.
Lord, I need Your help reaching Leviticus. Please bless me with the right words when he does talk to me. Don’t let me mess up our future. I want to be a gut fraa.
Chapter Sixteen
Both busy with their own work, two days slipped past uneventfully. Life went on. Leviticus said nothing about the night Clara’s boppli was born. She held her questions about his past for another occasion. Verity looked at the back door for the third time in five minutes and forced herself to stop.
Get a grip on yourself, bensel. He’ll come in from the grove when he’s hungry, and not a moment sooner.
Her stomach went all funny at the thought of seeing him, talking to him, like there was a hive of honeybees taking up residence in her insides.
Her resentment toward him was changing subtly but it was still there, just not as intense. He’d been trapped into this loveless marriage, too. Little by little, she’d begun to make allowances when he grew quiet, to show kindness instead of anger, even though she knew he was as frustrated as her. He’d responded in kind and treated her fairly. Showed affection to her, not just to the kinner. He smiled more, the sound of his laugh thrilling her unexpectedly at times.
The day before, she worked in the yard and found herself seeking him out like some lovesick teen.
Verity jumped back when the bacon she’d been cooking spit hot grease her way. It had never been in her nature to distrust, but she wouldn’t be fooled by Leviticus again. She was a grown woman now, fully aware of how real love felt. A man who loves his fraa shows his love. His emotions made him smile a certain way at his woman.
But he smiled at you that way this morning. You’d be lying if you said he hadn’t.
She shrugged her shoulders, refocusing on turning the last thick slice of bacon and transferring it to an absorbent stack of paper towels. She wasn’t going to let her growing interest in Leviticus cause her to have a bad day. Nee, never again. My joy is in the Lord.
Breaking a dozen eggs for scrambling, she found herself smiling at the sound of Naomi’s giggles, enjoying the way her young kind chattered away in her own mysterious language to Faith.
She jumped and dropped the serving fork when the back door suddenly opened. Leviticus trudged in, dirt covering his face and hands. The straw hat on his sweaty head sat at a jaunty angle, like the wind had caught and displaced it.
He glanced her way, half smiled and then kissed both girls on the cheek. Naomi gave him a toothy grin, but Faith giggled and snuck in a kiss of her own on his grizzled face.
Verity watched as he turned on his heel, not speaking a word to her. Showers were predicted again, but later in the day. Had the news put him in a foul mood? It didn’t take much to make him moody since he’d returned.
He moved over to the kitchen sink and splashed water on his face and neck. She stifled a gasp as he used her clean dish towel to dry himself off. If his mamm had been alive, she would have sent him away from the table for such disrespect, but Verity didn’t have the heart to utter a complaint. The man looked too worn out to say a word. Had he and Solomon had words again?
“The kinner ate oatmeal and blueberries, but if you want fresh eggs, there’s some made.”
He looked at her, nodded and ruffled Faith’s hair as he took his seat. “Ya, eggs sound fine.”
She poured him a mug of coffee and set it down in front of him. He grabbed the cup and downed the drink—black and bitter, without a drop of milk or sugar. Her shoulders shuddered in distaste. She wasn’t sure what to say to him in his mood. “How’s the grove coming along?”
“We need more workers.” His words were crisp, with an edge that had nothing to do with her. He was worried, tired and hungry for a hot meal.
Verity dished up a plate of freshly made toast, scrambled eggs and crispy bacon and tried to remember how to use the small microwave Leviticus had brought home the night before. She concentrated on how to start the newfangled gadget. She didn’t hear him walk up behind her until he spoke close to her ear.
“Just put the plate in, cover the food with a paper towel and punch in the amount of warming time you want. Heating this shouldn’t take more than a few seconds.” His finger pointed to a red square button that screamed START.
She thought she’d remembered his instructions from the night before, but suddenly his hand was next to hers, moving it away, punching in numbers. She jerked at his touch. Why does he have lightning in his fingers? Frustrated, she flushed. Does he notice how prickly I am when he touches me?
His smile at her was easy. “If you cook the food too long, it gets rock hard or burns.” A bell went off and he opened the microwave door. “Look, thirty seconds was all the eggs needed.”
“Are you sure Otto will approve of this contraption? I know of no other Amish who have one.”
“Ach. Do you think Otto cares if you have an added convenience? He’s bought one for his office.”
Faith pushed in close, gawking at the steaming plate of eggs and bacon. “Can you warm mine, too?”
“Ya, sure. Hand it to me.” She looked back toward Leviticus, who was pulling out a chair to sit in.
“Danki,” she muttered and then pressed her mouth shut. It was obvious Leviticus needed peace and quiet. The beeper sounded again, and she opened the microwave door, surprised her plate wasn’t hot to the touch. Being introduced to new Englischer contraptions always made Verity edgy and feel a bit stupid. She tucked the dirty hand towel in her apron band and scooted away.
Leviticus took a huge bite of his eggs and shoved a whole slice of bacon into his mouth.
She sat at the table, her nervous fingers smoothing out her apron, avoiding Leviticus’s gaze. “Otto told me your church classes began last week.”
“Ya, kind of the cart before the horse. I’ve got another session with Mose this afternoon.” He picked up his fork and shoveled in another mouthful of eggs. “He gave me some pamphlets to look at. They were interesting.”
“So you’re ready?”
“Ready?”
She grabbed Naomi’s hand as it reached out to grab a handful of bacon. “Ya, to become a Plain man in every sense of the word?”
His head bobbed. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Verity pushed her food around the plate. I certain-sure hope so.
“I forgot to tell you. I bought you something else.”
Verity glanced over at Leviticus as he polished off the last of his food. His eyes sparkled with something akin to mischief. “What is it? Not another microwave.” She forced a laugh. What was the man up to?
Leviticus returned her smile. “Nee. Just something you’ve been needing with two children to raise.” He put out his hand toward her and she hesitantly took it, enjoying the feel of the calluses on his palm that he’d earned from hard work on the grove. His fingers wrapped tight around her hand for a quick moment, making her breath quicken. She pulled her hand away and lifted Naomi out of her high chair and motioned for Faith to follow. “Komm!” Leviticus took her hand again.
Out the kitchen and across the back porch he held her hand. Faith jumped each step, singing as she swung about her big gray bunny that her new daed had brought her home days before.
The door of the shed creaked as Leviticus opened it, then pulled the light string as he went. Light flooded the small storage room. Verity gasped when she saw the white washing machine and matching dryer bathed in artificial light. “You bought me Englischer appliances?” Her heart beat against her chest. What would Gott think? What would Otto have to say?
Reading her expression, Leviticus said, “Otto knows all about the purchase. I asked his permission and he liked the idea so much he bought a set for Theda the same day.”
“But these things are for Englisch, not us Amish.”
“They’re for whoever needs them, Verity. And you need one. That old contraption you wash on needs to be slung on the metal heap. I don’t see how it’s lasted this long.”
“But—”
“There’s no shame in using what is provided to us by Gott’s ingenuity. Our community Ordnung rules allow for the use of electricity in Pinecraft.” Leviticus opened the lid of the washer and motioned for her to come look.
“But a washer?” Verity peered in. A massive tub waited for clothes to be thrown in. “Doesn’t this thing need water to work?”
“It does. The plumber is coming in an hour or so, and so is the electrician. You should be able to use these by tomorrow at the latest.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she muttered. And she didn’t. She didn’t know how she felt with such an Englischer machine to do her washing. And what would others in the community say? Would there be suggestions that Leviticus was dragging her into the Englischer world?
Leviticus pulled out a booklet and several papers from the inside of the machine and began flipping through its pages. “Let’s see how this thing works.”
Reading out loud to himself, Leviticus made his way back to the porch, Faith running by his heels. Verity shut the shed door, her mind in a whirl. She was used to the simple life. This machine felt like an intrusion into her way of living, but if Otto had bought one for Theda, how could she complain? Cell phones, microwaves and now washers. Where would it all end?
She followed Leviticus into the house, Naomi riding on her hip. She marched on, perplexed and fighting down the joy bubbling up in her. Not for the washer, but that Leviticus had thought of her, considered her needs. She wasn’t used to this new man she called her husband, but she wasn’t complaining, either. Not for a moment. Joining the church, committing to Ordnung classes proved to her that Leviticus was dedicated to change. Now, if they could just learn to love and trust one another.
* * *
Tired, Leviticus held the door for Otto and Mose Fischer, and then followed them into the church. He’d dealt with two long days and nights working in the grove but made time for his condensed Ordnung classes to please Verity, like joining the church and being baptized the Sunday after they’d been married had managed to do. The community’s Ordnung rules were important to her, so they were important to him now, too.
His first session with Mose had been surprisingly interesting. Why hadn’t he seen that the Ordnung rules were fair back when he was young, that they were put in place to help the people of Pinecraft, not control them? Was I too young? Too rebellious? Rules kept the faithful prospering. He’d have no problem living within the boundaries set down by Bishop Otto Fischer and the pastors.
As they walked out of the church together, Mose rubbed at the bridge of his nose. He paused. “There’ll be another group of men coming to the grove tomorrow. Seven thirty too early for your family?”
Leviticus laughed. “Nee. Verity and I are up before the chickens nowadays. With all your kids, I’m pretty sure you and Sarah know all about early-morning feedings and messy breakfast tables.”
“Sarah and I have six rambunctious kinner.” Mose looked down and picked at a dried clump of dirt on his trousers. “She’s been feeling poorly of late. This pregnancy’s been hard on her.”
Seven children! How did Sarah manage? Yet, every time he saw Mose’s fraa she looked happy, fresh as a spring flower and not in the least stressed.
Verity came to mind. He pictured her heavy with his kind. How would she feel about having kinner in the future? Not that there was much of a chance of that happening. Their marriage was in name only.
For a while now, he’d known he still had serious feelings for Verity. Feelings that went far beyond appreciation and friendship. Being realistic, he also knew there was no way she would feel the same about him after she learned what he’d done during the war. And he planned to tell her someday soon. He had to.
“You two getting along okay?” Mose climbed onto his bike and straddled it, distracting Leviticus’s daydreaming.
“We’re getting there. Ours was an arranged marriage, you know. It’ll probably take time to get to know each other again. Eventually, all the kinks will be ironed out.”
Mose smiled. “I know what you mean. My marriage was one of convenience, too.” He laughed, his head thrown back as he hooted. “I quickly learned my Sarah, the mildest woman you can find, has a sharp tongue when riled.” He nodded, lifting his suspender strap as it slipped off his shoulder. “She’s a gut woman, and the best mamm, especially to Beatrice, our strong-willed dochder. Sarah’s smart and knows just how to handle that tiny replica of Ulla.”
Mose and Leviticus snorted at the reference to Ulla. Most men in Pinecraft felt sorry for Chicken John, but Leviticus had noticed the man seemed happy enough with his choice of wife.
“What’s so funny?” Otto came out of the church and locked the door behind them.
“My comment about Ulla,” Mose said with a smile for his father, and got a knowing grin back.
“Like us, Chicken John can’t live without his woman, but enough of this silly chitchat about the womenfolk. My supper’s waiting in the oven and a man needs his nourishment if he’s to get a good night’s sleep.”
After waving the two men off, Leviticus rode his bike slow and easy through the streets of Pinecraft, becoming familiar with the houses going up, the new hotel being built in the center of the community.
A brisk wind almost blew him off his bike. Fall was here, and Thanksgiving would be coming soon. All the vacant-rooms and for-rent signs would disappear quickly enough. Spare rooms always filled up fast during the fall and winter months, when the snowbirds and Northern Amish began to come down to enjoy a bit of warm Florida sunshine.
Leviticus was disappointed to still see plenty of damage that had been caused by the hurricane. It
would take months, maybe years, for Pinecraft to get back to what it had been, but the community was hard at work, preparing as best they could for the crowd of visitors arriving by bus daily.
Turning down the gravel road to the grove, his daed’s improved health came to mind.
He hoped his daed would be pleasantly pleased at how much work he and Solomon had been able to agree on and get done. The doctors were promising Albert would be home as early as Thanksgiving week. He smiled, picking up speed. I hope they’re right.
His stress level was down to a manageable number of late. He had Verity’s kindness and good humor to thank for being able to settle down into a calm routine. The only time his hands shook now was when he and Verity momentarily disagreed, which hadn’t been as often lately and was always his fault. In fact, there were times Verity seemed almost friendly, like she’d stopped resenting their marriage quite so much. Sometimes he caught her looking at him, her gaze still elusive, but warmer and hopefully full of unspoken promises.
He still needed to talk to her about the war, his PTSD and what all that entailed, but he was in no hurry to bring up the subjects and spoil what progress they’d made. Her knowing about his fighting in the war might put a rift between them, and he didn’t want that. Would she trust him around the girls after she learned what a fool he’d been? Her questions would be hard to answer, reminders of what he’d done. What would she think of him once she’d heard everything?
Chapter Seventeen
Still apprehensive but thrilled with Leviticus’s surprise of a new washer and dryer, Verity waited for the Englisch men to install water and electricity to the shed before she’d go out with a basket of dirty clothes. Sitting down with a cup of leftover coffee, Verity glanced over the machine’s manuals one more time, shaking her head in confusion.
Their Convenient Amish Marriage Page 15