"He felt so bad and so relieved," she said. "As if I'd actually buy a green wedding dress."
"Um, you almost did."
"Yeah, but he doesn't know that."
"So, what's next?" We'd planned the whole day to work on wedding stuff, but Mel hadn't shown me her list.
"Flowers. I've already talked to two shops, Blossoming Arrangements and Your Friendly Florist. I just want to go by and check out some of their stuff. Their webpage photos are great, but they wouldn't put up anything that wasn't, right?"
I nodded, and as I put on my seatbelt, I ignored Mr. Green Suit in the back.
"Both of them are about the same price range, but I think my gut is saying Blossoming Arrangements is the one. Your Friendly Florist makes me feel like they might not be all that friendly."
"I agree. It's one of those if someone has to tell you to trust them, you probably shouldn't, kind of things."
She pointed her finger at me. "Exactly." She turned right onto the highway and headed south. "Let's hit them up first. I don't think we'll be there long, and I'm not going to tell them I've already talked to them."
"Can we use accents and pretend we're from another country?"
"You suck at accents," she said.
I stuck my tongue out at her. "I do not."
"You really do." She laughed, and then said, "But why not? Weddings are supposed to be fun, and I'm stressed, so let's do it." Her mouth flipped into a frown. "Wait. What if I decide to use them after all?"
"You're not that memorable; I wouldn't worry about it."
"Wow. Thanks for that."
I bit my lip. "I didn't mean it that way. I meant they've probably got a lot going on, so I don't think they'll pay attention if we're just there a few minutes."
"I thought my striking Asian looks were unforgettable."
"Well, if they do forget your looks, they won't forget your humility."
We bantered back and forth the rest of the drive, and I just ignored the leprechaun taunting me in her backseat.
Inside, a tall, lanky-limbed woman with thick brown hair pulled up in a clip approached us in front of the first section of refrigerated arrangements.
"We just got our lilacs in this morning. They smell beautiful. Would you like me to take them out for you?"
Mel checked them out and smiled. "Ah, no thank you. We're just looking." The accent was either British, Australian or another country with a similar sound, I couldn't tell. I was horrible at both detecting and imitating accents.
The woman directed her attention to me. "How about you? Would you like me to take one out for you?"
"Nah, I'm fit as a fiddle," I said with an atrocious country accent. Any time I tried to fake one, no matter what I wanted to sound like, a bad country one came out. I couldn't even fake a Chicago accent, and I'd spent nearly half of my life there.
Mel coughed back a laugh, and I knew I'd hear about it later. "We're just looking at all the pretty flowers before an appointment. We don't want to take up any of your time."
The lady nodded. "Well then, enjoy." She walked back to the counter to cut stems.
We left a few minutes later.
"So, what'd you think?" I asked.
"I think you really suck at accents."
"I think you're right."
"The lilacs were pretty," she said.
"They were."
Mr. Green Suit popped into the back. "In Ireland, Ivy represents fidelity. She should incorporate that into her arrangements."
"So, now you're a wedding planner?"
"What?" Mel asked.
I flicked my thumb behind me. "Mr. Green Suit back there said in Ireland ivy represents fidelity."
She stiffened. "He's back?"
I nodded. "Don't worry though, and he's not here for you. He's here to drive me crazy."
"Well, at least that'll be a short trip."
"Rude."
Mr. Green Suit laughed, and I gave him the evil eye.
Mel laughed too. "Actually, I kind of like the ivy idea. Maybe Blossoming Arrangements will have some."
We parked in front of the store, and I told Mr. Green Suit to stay put. I didn't need a stalking leprechaun hanging around while Mel sniffed flowers.
The minute Mel walked into the shop, I knew she'd made her flower store choice. The floral scent immediately took over our noses, and the bright colors throughout the place teased our eyes. She moaned, and I watched her back relax.
One issue down, a million little wedding details to go.
"This is definitely it," she said as if I hadn't already figured that out.
When the shop's owner, Sandy something-I-couldn't-pronounce, said she could definitely make an arrangement featuring ivy and lavender, Mel squeaked. Sandy stepped back behind a closed door to throw together a sample while Mel scanned their floral book, and I shuffled around the store cradling my fractured ribs.
I saw a spirit hovering by the door to the back but ignored her.
She caught me glancing at her and floated over. "I'm Sandy's mother," she said.
"That's nice." I refused to make eye contact and kept shuffling.
"Would you mind giving my daughter a message for me? It's important."
I traced the petals of a pink rose with my fingertip. "I'm not really doing that anymore."
She positioned herself in front of me, and I couldn't help but acknowledge her trembling, transparent being. For just a millisecond I wanted to help, but I forced that feeling back and pretended it didn't exist.
Never again, I reminded myself.
"These photos are stunning," Mel said. "You gotta see them."
The spirit's eyes pleaded with me.
I glanced from Mel to the ghost and said, "Gimme a minute."
She went back to flipping pages in the book.
"I'm sorry, but I don't do that anymore." I rubbed my hands together and was surprised to feel sweat on my palms. "You'll have to find someone else to help you."
She straightened her shoulders and leaned in close to me. "I know what you've been through. We all know. Please, this isn't like that."
I shook my head. "I can't. I'm sorry."
"Please. My daughter's life depends on this."
Most of them did.
Sandy yelled from behind the door. "I'll be just another minute."
My eyes shifted from the door to the ghost. "If you all knew, why didn't anyone help?"
She looked at the ground but didn't respond.
"Because the Universe wouldn't let you, right?"
Her chin quivered. "We aren't always able to do as we wish."
My jaw tensed. "I know because the Universe has rules, right? The thing is, I don't care about those rules anymore."
The sadness in her eyes tugged at my heart, and when she spoke, her voice shook. "Please. For her children."
My face betrayed me, and she saw it soften. "She needs to know she mustn't ignore the lump. There is still time, but she cannot wait."
I swallowed hard. My mother died of cancer, so of course, the Universe would use that to try and draw me back in. "Where is it?"
She pointed to her right breast.
I couldn't allow my anger to let this woman go on with cancer growing inside her. I didn't know if the Universe caused things like that, or why they happened, but I knew if I could help save her, I had to do it. I was angry with the Universe, but I wasn't heartless, and this wasn't either woman's fault. "Okay."
I walked back to the counter and scanned through the photos with Mel while we waited for Sandy to return. When she did, she carried the most beautiful bouquet I've ever seen.
Mel jumped in delight. "That is absolutely gorgeous." She clapped her hands like a toddler getting an ice cream cone. "I don't care what it costs, but I want something like that." She rattled off a list of I wants a mile long. "And ivy traveling down the sides of the aisle, and all over the arch. And that lavender, that's what I want in the boutonnieres, and…" She kept on for at least a whole two minutes.
I stared at Sandy and her mother floating behind her. Her mother placed her hand on her shoulder, and Sandy sighed. She knew, unconsciously maybe, but she knew.
"Mel," I placed my hand on hers. "Um, you know that thing I used to do that I don't do anymore?"
"Are you going to do that now?"
I nodded.
"That's great." She hugged me. "I knew you'd come around."
I hadn't come around, but I didn't want to get into it then. "Sandy, um, I know this is going to sound unbelievable, but I have a message from your mother."
She blinked but showed no signs of surprise or disbelief. After a few seconds, she simply nodded. "It's cancer, isn't it?"
I nodded. "But she said you still have time to fix it."
"Is she here now?"
"Yes. She's standing behind you. She was desperate for me to tell you."
Sandy clutched the side of her neck. "I knew. I just…I didn't want to admit it."
And that's when it hit me. "She died of breast cancer, didn't she?"
"Yes."
Her mother caught my eye. "I found my lump, and I knew it was cancer, too, but I chose to pretend nothing was wrong. Had I not, I might still be alive. My daughter has time. She can beat it, but she has to address it. Please, she needs to understand that, if not for herself, for my grandchildren."
"She says she shouldn't have waited, and she doesn't want you to make that same mistake. She wants you to do it for your kids if you can't do it for yourself."
Mel blubbered next to me.
Sandy nodded. "I will. Please, tell her I will."
"She can hear you."
Sandy's eyes glistened with tears and maybe even a little bit of hope. She glanced around the store searching for a glimpse of her mother. "I miss you so much, Mom."
Her mother smiled. "I will always be in her heart. Please tell her that." She tilted her head to the ceiling. "That lights for me, isn't it?"
"I believe so."
She kissed her daughter's cheek and then she shimmered away.
When Sandy rubbed her cheek, a tear slipped from my eye. "That was her kissing you before she left."
"Will she be back?"
"I don't know, but if so, I think you'll sense her." I'd lost all faith in how the Universe worked, but it wasn't my place to push my doubt on her.
She stood silent for a moment and then finally said, "If you'll give me a moment I'll be back to work on your order."
Mel choked back her tears. "Please, take all the time you need. We've got a few errands to run, so how about we come back later? Just go make an appointment with the doctor."
"Thank you. You don't know what this means to me." She hugged me.
I stiffened in her embrace. I'd never been much of a toucher with strangers, and after the incident, it was even harder. I pulled away. "You're welcome."
* * *
We'd barely made it outside, and Mel wrapped her arms around me, squeezing my already damaged body.
"Mel, my ribs."
She immediately released her death grip on my mid-section and begged for forgiveness. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot. I got all caught up in the moment. I'm so proud of you. You did it."
"It was a one-off. The ghost had me at cancer." I sat in the passenger's seat and ignored Mr. Green Suit smiling behind me.
She started the car. "Em hmm." She went left out of the parking lot. "So, how did it feel?"
"It didn't feel like anything, really."
"Uh huh."
"Okay, yeah. It felt like an obligation, and like I needed to do it to honor my mom, but it didn't feel like it used to."
"I'm sure you'll get that feeling back eventually. The more you do it, the better it will be."
I had no intention of doing it even once, let alone enough to feel better about it, but I didn't want to argue. "Where we headed by the way?"
"To eat." She made a right into another strip mall parking lot. "We're taste-testing for the wedding and groom's cakes."
When I gave up sugar I promised Mel I'd still cake test with her, but the thought of anything sugary made my stomach ache.
I'd read that once the body stops receiving all the sugary foods, the taste palette changes, and sweets taste even sweeter. I hadn't tried anything sweet for two months and wondered if that's what would happen with the cake.
It did. The buttercream frosting on the first cake we sampled made my teeth ache and its sweetness so intense my stomach hurt. We had two samples to go, and I hoped I'd make it through them without hurling.
By the third piece, I definitely wanted to barf. I hoped it wasn't obvious.
"Which one do you like the best?" Mel asked.
She had a smudge of frosting on the corner of her mouth, so I made the swipe against mine. "You've got a little something on there."
I was stalling. I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't really favor any of them, that my taste for sugar was kaput. She just wouldn't understand, especially since we'd spent the majority of our friendship experiencing mutual foodgasms with various sugar-laden cupcakes and other teeth-rotting processed foods. "I think the white cake with buttercream frosting is my first choice." It tasted like a pound of straight sugar, but the others tasted like at least two pounds, so it was the best option.
She sampled another bite. "Um, I definitely agree." She pointed to the empty plate. "Definitely this one for the main cake." She asked for another sample of each of the other cakes. "What about for the groom's cake? I'm thinking the red velvet because Aaron loves red velvet cupcakes." She handed me another piece. "Here try it again."
I pushed her hand away. "I'm full but thank you."
The baker person whose name I never caught, coughed. "Is something wrong?"
"No, the cake is wonderful, really. I've just been sugar-free for a few months now, and I'm trying to stay that way." I preferred she think I had self-control issues instead of saying eating it would require a trip to the dentist.
She laughed. "Oh, you're one of those clean eaters like my husband. I've had to configure all kinds of clean, sugar substitute, vegan and gluten-free monstrosities for him now." She picked up the chocolate sample plate and presented it to Mel. "Would you like to try one of these?"
"Absolutely." She snatched two samples from the plate and stuffed them in her mouth. "My body runs on sugar." She swiped some buttercream frosting from the plate, too. "I think I'll go with my two original choices. If my friend here wants her own cake, she can order it herself."
The woman eyed me.
"No, I'm fine. Really."
Mel ordered the cakes while I roamed around the bakery feeling ill from the sugary brick in my stomach. I couldn't believe such small bites weighed so much in my gut. The old Angela would have asked for seconds, but the new me craved roasted Brussel sprouts.
I really had changed.
Just as I'd finished priding myself on my new eating habits, Mr. Green Suit popped up next to me. "Have you given my question any thought?"
"Not here," I mumbled.
I headed back to the counter and tapped Mel on the shoulder. "Can I have the keys? I need to, um…make a call in private."
Mel dug them from her purse, and off the leprechaun and I went.
I grabbed my phone from the seat, slammed the door and did what I'd always done when talking to a ghost in public. I held my phone to my ear and pretended to talk on it. "I have no intention of giving your question any thought, okay? And really, it's a little creepy having a leprechaun stalking me, so can you just stop?"
He walked next to me with that creepy smile plastered on his face, but he didn't say a thing.
I paced a short path along the sidewalk. "Just once I'd like things to be easy. Just once. Is that really too much to ask?"
Mr. Green Suit appeared in front of me. "What if I told you I could bring your mother back? Would you want that?"
I stood there for a moment and then dropped the F-Bomb just as Mel walked out of the bakery.
"Flowers, check. Cakes, check." Mel marked off to do list items in her notebook while we sat at Rendezvous Café.
Could he really bring my mother back? A leprechaun?
Mel waved her hand in front of my face. "Hello? You there?"
I shook myself out of stare mode. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
"Where were you? Because I've been talking, and I don't think you heard a word I said."
"I did. You said flowers, check, and cakes, check."
"Uh, yeah, ten minutes ago. I also said I wanted to do green table decorations."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have missed that."
She set her pencil on the table. "It's the leprechaun, isn't it?"
I pushed my lips together and nodded. "He said something to me, and I'm not sure what I think about it."
Mel straightened in her chair. "What did he say?"
"He asked me what I'd ask for if I could have anything."
"What did you tell him?"
"Basically, to bite me."
She rubbed her temples. "Of course, you did."
"That's not all."
"I didn't think it was."
"He said he could bring my mom back."
Her eyes widened. "Holy crap."
I sipped my black tea. "I know, right?"
"Do you think he really can?"
"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know. I don't even know if he's real, you know?"
"Maybe he's a ghost dressed as a leprechaun."
"I considered that, but he's so life-like. Even the ghosts that aren't transparent don't look at real as he does." I leaned in and whispered, "And he breathes."
"He breathes? Like real breath?"
"No, fake breath." The space at the top of my nose furrowed into the number eleven. "I'm assuming it's real breath, but who knows?"
"You could ask." She removed the lid from her drink and stirred the ice with her straw. "Seems like the easiest way to find out."
"I'm trying not to engage with him."
"Well, maybe you should. At least then you'll have some answers. And besides, don't you want to know if he can help you see Fran again?"
"There is that."
She slurped the caramel at the bottom of her cup. "Mm-Hmm."
I rubbed my temples. "I just want a normal life. Is that really too much to ask?"
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