by L. A. Witt
“Uh-huh.” He nodded and licked his lips. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Jesus.”
I settled beside him on my side. Tempting as it was, I hesitated to kiss him, not sure he’d be okay with kissing me after I’d sucked him off, but then he grabbed on to me and made short work of that illusion. He was panting, shaking, and his kiss was desperate and hungry, bordering on forceful, and I didn’t think I’d ever been so goddamned turned on in my life. As worried as he was about being inexperienced, he was a living, breathing fantasy for me. This was all new to him. He wasn’t mentally comparing me to other men. He was the most attractive man I’d ever met, and he was in my bed, and he was sweet and just the right balance of innocent and daring, and I wanted him so badly and in so many ways he couldn’t possibly imagine.
Connor let his head fall back on the pillow and met my eyes. “That was so… I…” He swallowed. “I want to do the same for you, but I have no idea how.”
“It’s easier than it looks.” I kissed him, letting it linger for a moment. “But it can wait until you want to. Until you feel comfortable, I mean.”
“But you’re…” His hand brushed my rock-hard cock, the light contact making me suck in a sharp breath. “I want to…”
And I need you to. So bad.
I lay on my side again. “Come here.”
When he turned on his side, facing me, and slid closer, I guided his hand between us. As his fingers closed around my cock, he shuddered as if I’d been the one touching him. I encouraged him into motion, urging him to stroke me.
“Like that?” he asked.
“Yeah, like… Fuck. Like that.” My hips were moving, pushing my dick through his fist in time with his tentative motions, and I wasn’t going to last. No way in hell. I was just too turned on, with his hand on me and the taste of his orgasm on my tongue.
As he picked up speed, the friction edged toward uncomfortable, so I gently stopped him. “Wait,” I murmured. I leaned away and picked up the bottle of lube I kept on the nightstand. “Use this.” I popped the top, and he held out his hand. After I’d poured on a generous amount, he reached down again, and the cool liquid made me gasp. Connor stroked me slowly, but as the slick lube coated my cock, he did it faster, gripping a little tighter, and I almost lost my goddamned mind.
“Holy fuck,” I moaned, thrusting into his fist.
“This good?”
I moaned again but couldn’t form words. Desperate for something to hold on to, I grabbed the back of his neck, and when I dug my fingers in, he stroked even faster.
“Fuck. Oh fuck. That’s…” I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. I kept fucking into his tight fist, my whole body trembling as I struggled just to remember to breathe.
“Oh my God,” he whispered.
I forced my eyes open. One look at him—his own eyes wide, his lips apart like he was as blown away by this as I was—and I was gone.
“Fuck!” I tightened my grip on his neck and lost it. I probably cried out, but hell if I knew for sure. All I knew was how good this felt, how I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come this hard, how fast the room was spinning as Connor kept stroking my cock.
When it became too much, I clumsily grabbed his wrist. “S-stop.”
He did, and my hand slid off his wrist, and when he loosened his grasp, I sank back onto the bed. “I can’t believe you’ve never done that before.”
He laughed shyly and followed me down. “Well, I’d never done it to anyone else…”
I met his eyes and made the connection. “Right. Got it.”
“Practice makes perfect, eh?”
“Something like that.” I curved my hand around the back of his neck and drew him all the way down. “Not that you need it, but you’re welcome to practice on me anytime.” I lifted my head and kissed him lightly. “Because, at the risk of stating the obvious, I’d really like to see you again.”
“Name the time and place.”
“What would it take to talk you into my bed again?”
He shivered, a ragged breath whispering past my lips. “Okay, name the time.”
“As soon as I get home from work tomorrow? Four thirty?”
“I’ll be here.”
Chapter Six
Connor
I couldn’t sleep. I was more exhausted than I’d been since…since I didn’t know when, but I was wide awake. An entire case of 5-hour Energy wouldn’t have had my heart pumping like this at three in the morning.
Aiden, though?
Fuck.
Every time I closed my eyes, all I could think about was everything we’d done in my car and his apartment. A few times I thought I still felt my lips tingling from kissing him.
And, my God, we hadn’t stopped at kissing. If we’d had all night and I’d had a little more nerve, we might’ve gone even further. Hell, my head was still spinning just from the things we had done.
The blowjob was fucking amazing, but I hadn’t expected to be so turned on while I was jerking him off. That was incredible. Watching him fall apart like that, knowing I was even capable of having that effect on a man, had been unreal. I’d been scared out of my mind—What if I was clumsy? What if I did it wrong? What if he got bored?—but the next thing I knew, Aiden was arching against me, holding on to me and shaking and coming.
I’d kissed a few guys before, though I hadn’t gone much further than that, and Aiden was just…amazing. One kiss, and I’d have done just about anything he asked me to do. In the light of day, that spooked me, but at the same time made me want him more. I’d been wrapped around his finger and would have done anything and everything he wanted me to, but he hadn’t pushed. Not even a little. I’d thought a lot about what it might feel like to be with someone physically, but never thought I’d describe it as safe. But that was how I felt with Aiden. I felt safe.
I felt safe when I was with him, and completely distracted when I wasn’t. All I could think about was Aiden. I hadn’t been this wrapped up in a guy since high school, when one of those all-consuming crushes could keep me up for hours every night. And that was before we’d… God, last night had really happened, hadn’t it? We’d been naked, and kissing, and then he’d…
I shivered at the thought. Yeah, it had really happened. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since I’d left his place, and now, every time I closed my eyes, I saw Aiden’s head bobbing up and down over my dick, and I felt the electricity shooting up my spine each time his tongue slid across my skin.
Fuck. I was just a few hours from seeing Aiden, and a hell of a lot of studying away from being done for the day. And with a hard-on like this? I wasn’t getting a damned thing done.
I pushed my chair back from my desk, stood—carefully—and moved to my bed. Now that I wasn’t fighting it anymore, there was no turning back. As I unzipped my shorts, my dick was so hard it was almost painful, and my head was spinning. Somehow, I was already out of breath, which made me think of Aiden panting against me, which didn’t help at all.
I pushed my shorts and boxers down just enough to get them out of the way. Then I poured some lotion on my hand and wrapped my fingers around my cock. Eyes closed, I let my thoughts go right back to last night, and as I stroked myself, I tried to remember exactly how he’d moved his hand, but all I could think of was what he’d done with his mouth. I’d always figured a blowjob would be hot—obviously—but I’d never imagined the mind-blowing things he’d do with his lips and tongue.
And then he’d been next to me, his dick in my hand and his whole body reacting to my touch. In my mind, I saw him closing his eyes and gasping. I felt more than heard him groan, and I remembered the wet heat of his semen in my hand and on my stomach as he came, and my back arched off my bed as his orgasm replayed in my head over and over again.
It really happened. It was real.
And tonight we’ll…
I couldn’t even finish the thought before my eyes rolled back. I came so hard my toes curled and my hips lifted up off the bed, and
the semen in my hand and on my stomach reminded me all over again of Aiden’s, and I fell apart a little more.
And then I was still. Shaking and panting, but, otherwise, I couldn’t move. Not while the aftershocks ricocheted through me.
When I’d finally calmed down and wasn’t quite so hypersensitive, I carefully released my cock and grabbed some tissues off the nightstand. My hands were shaking almost as badly as they had when I’d been with Aiden earlier, but I managed to wipe them off and get the tissues into the trash can.
Then I collapsed back on the bed.
Now that I didn’t have that distracting hard-on to occupy my thoughts, I could think a bit more clearly. For the moment, anyway. Wasn’t like this was the first time I’d had to jerk off today, but it had better be the last. After all, I was seeing Aiden again tonight.
I shivered. As hot as last night was, I regretted we hadn’t gone any further. Maybe it would have been too far, too fast, but every time I played out in my head what we could have done, I kicked myself for being so scared and inexperienced.
Still, Aiden had been awesome. He didn’t act for a second like he was impatient with me, or like he was bored. And, God, that blowjob…
I shivered and leaned back against my headboard. I so wanted to do that for him. He hadn’t seemed the least bit unsatisfied with the hand job I’d given him, but there was no way in hell it had been as good as the blowjob he’d given me. And if we had sex…
“You’re a fucking top, aren’t you?”
Was I? I’d fantasized about being on the top and being on the bottom, but when it came down to the real thing, I had no idea what I wanted. The thought of fucking someone turned me on so much I couldn’t think, but what about taking him? The porn I’d sneaked onto my laptop sure made it look like the guy on the bottom was having a good time. Then again, I doubted any of them were virgins. Not even the guys in the it’s-his-first-time-getting-fucked videos. They were real virgins like the guys in army porn were real soldiers.
And whether I was a top or a bottom, the fact was I had no idea what I was doing. Oh, I had the kissing thing down. And a hand job was pretty much a given. Anal sex or a blowjob? Not a clue.
My gaze drifted toward my laptop. Then I glanced at the door but felt like an idiot. I was an adult. Living in my father’s home, yes, but a grown-ass adult. If I wanted to look at porn—or something a bit more “educational”—that was my own damned business.
I got up off the bed and moved back to my desk. I minimized the paper I was supposed to be working on and opened my browser. For a good minute, I watched the cursor blinking in the search engine before I finally started typing. My face burned as the words appeared on the screen: How to give a blowjob.
I was probably going to regret it, but I hit Search and watched the results pile up.
Some of the articles were hilariously technical.
Firmly grasp the shaft with one hand. Move hand in an up-and-down motion, and at the same time, insert the head between your lips.
Really, guys?
The accompanying instructional video was even better, with a guy pantomiming a blowjob over another guy who was fully dressed. Because God forbid an actual penis appear in a video about how to suck cock.
Another site was definitely more graphic but not all that useful. It had a bunch of pictures that looked less like someone giving a blowjob and more like some dude—or chick—unhinging his jaw and choking on one of those gigantic Hickory Farms salamis. Hot.
Another harped on the idea that the only way to give a decent blowjob was to shove a finger up the recipient’s ass. In fact, it was more of a fingering tutorial than a blowjob tutorial, so why the hell didn’t it just call itself that?
Shaking my head, I clicked to another site.
If your partner is exceedingly large, you may find him difficult to accommodate comfortably…
Followed by another Hickory Farms gag-a-thon.
I rolled my eyes and closed that window too. Apparently porn was my best bet after all. At least then I could see what the guys were doing and not be subjected to something that sounded like a Craftsman manual. There had to be something that—
A knock at my door made me jump. My hackles went up, and I quickly minimized the website as I muttered, “It’s open.”
My father pushed open the door. He didn’t come inside. I wasn’t really sure why not. He’d already interrupted me. Why not intrude a little more?
“What’s up?” I asked.
God. That look. The everything-you-say-can-and-will-be-used-against-you look. “What time did you get home last night?”
I ground my teeth. The fifteen-year-old in me who was still afraid of breaking his curfew wanted the ground to open up and swallow me before my dad figured out I was seeing someone. The adult who was damned tired of being treated like a kid wanted to snap back with something snide like I was out getting my dick sucked.
As calmly as I could, I closed my textbook, using my notes as a bookmark. Then I faced my dad. “Do I have a curfew?”
“Of course not.” He slid his hands into his pockets and narrowed his eyes slightly. “I’m just curious where you were.”
“Out.”
“With?”
“Dad, do—”
“Who were you with, Connor?”
“Who says I was with anyone?” My heart pounded. Dad had lectured me a hundred times about focusing on my studies and not getting caught up in dating. Specifically, not dating anyone in the military. Which meant dating precisely no one on Okinawa.
“If you don’t like the rules, you don’t have to stay here.”
I clenched my jaw. We both knew damn well I didn’t have a choice. This wasn’t my only option, but it was by far my best one.
“I was just out by myself, all right?” I said quietly. “I needed a break from studying, so I went up to Cape Hedo.”
His eyebrow rose. “Until midnight?” Before I could answer, though, he waved a hand. “Just let me know if you’re going to be out so late, all right? I like to know if someone’s going to be coming in at all hours of the night.”
I’m sure that’s why you care if I’m out late.
“Yeah. Okay.”
He nodded once and then left, and as soon as he’d disappeared down the hall, I groaned and rubbed a hand over my face. I hated being in this position. Fucking hated it.
What choice did I have, though? In order to avoid crippling student debt, I was going to school via Dad’s GI Bill, and the condition of using that had been that I lived at home until I graduated. To save money, he’d insisted. Some days, I wondered if it was just a ploy to keep me here until he absolutely had to let me grow up and move out.
I could move out now. Fly back to the States, find a place of my own, get my shit together. And then what? With the economy the way it was, someone with a high school diploma and precisely zero marketable skills would be lucky to get a minimum-wage job, and flipping burgers wouldn’t get me through college, never mind pay rent. Finishing college? Not a chance.
So I was stuck here. And I was grateful, of course. Our arrangement let me focus solely on my classes and still have some downtime in between, rather than working three jobs just to make ends meet and falling asleep during exams.
Most importantly, it meant I didn’t have to fall back on the other option: living with my mother. Dad knew as well as I did that I wouldn’t go there voluntarily, and for all his you-don’t-have-to-live-here crap, I knew damn well he’d never force me to go. For that matter, he’d probably do everything in his power to keep from letting me live with her.
But whether or not living with my mother was an option, everything came down to one simple thing: I could either live with my father here on Okinawa, or I could go back to the States and be out on my ass.
Like it or not, I didn’t have a choice.
Chapter Seven
Aiden
My heart was going ninety miles an hour. Connor was on his way over, and I was on my way out of
my mind from anticipation and nerves and horniness and—
Jesus. Get a grip.
My phone vibrated.
On my way up.
I jumped off the couch and headed for the door, and as I pulled it open, Connor came around the top of the stairwell. I reached for him, slid a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss.
My whole body immediately responded. I’d already been nearly hard just knowing he was on his way up the stairs, and pressed against him now, my cock hardened completely. My heart was racing, my legs shaking, and it was all I could do not to drop to my knees and suck him off right then and there. If I hadn’t had a nice old lady living next door, I probably would have done exactly that.
Connor raked his fingers through my hair, and then broke the kiss. “I couldn’t study at all today,” he panted against my lips. “Couldn’t fucking concentrate.”
“I’ve been…all day. Thinking.” The words barely came out at all. Getting them in order was asking too much. “About this.”
“Me too.” Connor tugged my shirt free from my shorts. “We should go inside.”
“We should.” I grabbed his belt and pulled him toward me.
We stumbled across the threshold. He kicked the door shut behind us, and now that we were inside, away from any prying eyes, we didn’t hold back. I shoved him up against the wall beside the door. He pressed his rock-hard cock against mine, moaning softly into my kiss.
“I don’t want to go too far tonight,” I said. “I don’t…I don’t want to push you.”
He shook his head, sliding his hands down my sides to my hips. “You’re not. I want this.” He leaned in and kissed me again. “I want you.”
I shivered. “It’s mutual.”
“Good.”
“Seemed like you enjoyed last night.”
Connor shivered. “I loved it.”
“I want to do it again.”
He moaned. “Please.”
“Just tell me—” I ran out of air. “Just tell me if we’re going too fast.”
Connor nodded. “I will.”
His hand slid between us and over the front of my shorts, and we both groaned softly as he squeezed my erection.