“They’re not,” I admit. “I didn’t love Nigel. Without Hayes … I’m just going through my daily motions. But inside, I feel like I’m falling to pieces,” I confess.
“Oh, Confidence,” Cass sighs, her voice soft and sympathetic now.
“I don’t even know how it’s possible to feel like this after three months.” I put my face in my hands and groan. “And my family…”
“And I’m glad you’ve met someone who can help you so it doesn’t swallow you whole. You have so much on your plate. You do a lot for your mother,” she says. I frown at her.
“Of course I do. And I always will. It’s just me and her. She’s done so much for me. I owe her,” I remind her.
“But you also owe yourself,” she insists.
The waitress sails over, a huge tray on her shoulder and saves me from having to answer.
NAKED
HAYES
“Can I come in?” I force myself to ask Confidence when what I really want is to shove past her and ask her what the fuck she thinks she’s doing.
She stares at me, her hair hidden in the towel she’s fashioned into a turban on her head. The rest of her isn’t hidden at all. She’s got on a light pink bathrobe that clings to her in all the right places and rubs me in all the wrong ones.
“Why the hell are you answering the door half naked?” I demand.
She crosses her arms over her chest defensively and glares up at me. “Why are you banging on my door at ten o’clock at night?” she whispers furiously and glances down the empty hallways before she grabs my arm and tugs me forward. “Come inside. The last thing I need is a complaint for disturbing the peace.”
I step into her hotel room and turn to face her.
“Why are you answering the door wet and nearly naked, Tesoro?” I ask again, my anger at the sight of her surpassing the initial insult that brought me here.
“I am not naked. I was getting out of the shower when you started pounding on the door. I wanted to stop you before you woke up my neighbors.”
“You’re very concerned about your neighbors,” I look around the spare room of the extended stay hotel. “Why are you staying here anyway? Remi couldn’t have put you up here. He has a block of suites at the Ivy’s executive suites his firm uses for interviews.”
“First of all, how do I know I’m here, and that I’m here for Remi? Secondly—not that it is any of your business—he let me choose my hotel and they’re reimbursing me. This one is fine. And third, I’m concerned about my neighbors because I think the people right next door are a family who live here. I’ve seen them taking the kids to school every morning this week. They’re asleep. So, keep it down,” she scolds.
Of course, that’s why. She’s a fucking bleeding heart. It's why I love her.
“I’ll keep my voice down,” I concede right away. “And everything you do is my business. Because you are my business.”
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything.
“Secondly, Remi’s a friend. But he didn’t tell me you were here. I ran into Gigi’s friend, Henny. Apparently, you’ve been pining over me in public,” I drawl and have to bite my lip to stop my smile when her nostrils flair.
“That old lady was eavesdropping?” she sputters.
“Don’t let her hear you call her that, not if you want to live … and she did overhear and thought it would be such shame if you left town without even telling me you were here,” I say.
“How in the world did you know where I was staying?” she asks and tightens her belt.
“My assistant spent all day calling hotels near Rivers Wilde until she found you. And enough with the twenty questions,” I snap.
“Fine, then you can leave.” She pulls the lapels of her robe closed when my eyes drift to her throat.
“I’m not. And it’s too bad about your G-rated neighbors. They put a dent in my plans,” I tell her.
“What plans?” she snaps.
“The ones I had to fuck you so hard you’d see stars and scream my name loud enough that they’d hear you across the street,” I say.
Her entire body flushes, and her hands drop from her neckline and rest on her hips. She leans forward and gives me her most disapproving glare.
“Their presence has nothing on the fact that my body is closed to you right now. There will be no fucking tonight. And don’t call me Tesoro. We’re not that anymore,” she says angrily.
My anger spikes, too, but it’s accompanied by a sting of pain at the way the words flow off her tongue. I know she’s pissed, but it makes me feel like I’ve got a thorn stuck in my side when I hear her say we’re not that anymore. I stalk toward her.
“Then what are we?” I ask and rake my eyes over her body. Her robe is damp and I can see the shadow of her nipples.
“I don’t know, Hayes,” she lies.
“Let me fuck you. You’ll know, then,” I whisper and her eyes widen and she tenses up again.
“That’s not the answer to everything,” she says.
“Take that off.” I nod at her robe.
“No,” she says and tosses her head in defiance. Her towel unravels and falls half off her head, exposing some of her hair. She reaches up to stop its slide and I take a step toward her.
“Don’t, Hayes,” she says, her voice low with warning, but her lips remain parted and her eyelids flutter. My dick gets hard because I know what that look means. Her gown may be drying off, but her pussy is wetter than it was when she got out of the shower.
“Take it off, Tesoro,” I say softly now, and take another step toward her. I’m close enough to grab the belt of her robe.
“I want to. But, I can’t,” she says, like the words ache when her tongue forms them. She gazes at me, her eyes limpid with need. Understanding dawns.
“You want me to take it off?” I ask.
She nods, two sharp ticks of her head and I do an internal fist bump even though I keep my expression neutral. I see the need in her eyes. Want is coming off her in waves. It’s slamming into mine and envelopes us in a haze of longing.
I smile at her, a wolfish grin that says I know I’m going to have what I want. The flat of my hand cups the space right below her belly button and her shoulders lose the tension they’ve been holding.
I watch her face.
She watches my hand.
Her rapid breaths send my hand on a rollercoaster of swells and dips as it glides up the center of her abdomen. Her muscles flex and ripple under my touch.
“Does that feel good, my little treasure?” I ask her quietly
She closes her eyes and nods. “Better than anything has ever felt in my life,” she confesses.
I splay my fingers as they pass between her breasts and wrap them gently around her throat. Her pulse races under my fingers.
“What aren’t we?” I ask again.
She opens her eyes and gazes at me. My tigress—her eyes are ablaze with intensity—and yet, I feel how vulnerable she is right now.
“We’re not …” She licks her lips and her throat convulses against my hand.
I lean and press my lips to hers. Our eyes stay open and hers start to melt.
I taste everything I’ve been deprived of for the last month and groan.
“What aren’t we?” I ask her again and tug the belt of her robe. The silk ribbon gives easily and her robe falls open. She gasps—a harsh, uneven breath—and sways forward. She still hasn’t completed her sentence, but the look in her eyes tells me everything I need to know.
“We’re everything, Confidence.” I kiss her again; her lips cling to mine when I pull back.
Fuck yeah …
“Tell me what we are,” I command her before I swoop down to place an openmouthed kiss on the hot, fresh, soap-scented skin of her neck.
“We’re lovers,” she whispers and lifts her arms to twine around my neck.
“We’re fighters,” she says and puts her hands on my belt buckle and unfastens it.
“We’re hunters,�
�� she breathes into my mouth as she unzips my fly and my pants fall.
I grab the full, lush cheeks of her ass and hoist her. Her legs wrap around my waist and I lower her down onto my cock.
“We are each other’s,” I say and lift her off and lower her again.
“Oh my God,” she gasps.
I walk us back to the huge window and press her back against it.
“Yes. Your god. Your king. Your man. Yours,” I say, driving each point home with an upward thrust into her delicious pussy. “Say it.”
She shakes her head. “You haven’t earned it,” she pants. I grin into the hollow at the base of her neck and fuck her harder.
“You feel that?” I ask and press as deep as I can.
“Yessssssss,” she cries and her finger cling into my back, seeking purchase as she starts to come unglued.
I nod. “That’s how deep I’ve buried myself in your heart. You love me. You can’t turn that off, and I won’t let you pretend you have.”
I spin her around and lay her down on the bed. I pull out and kneel next to her.
“Suck me,” I say and fist my hands in her hair. When she wraps a hand around the base of my cock, I hold her head in place and feed her slowly. She swirls her tongue around the tip and hollows her cheeks and sucks me off. My fingers loosen their grip and sift into her hair.
“You give the best fucking head, Confidence.” I fuck her face and she takes it like it’s hers. She holds my gaze and starts to finger herself until her eyes flutter closed. I glance down her body and watch while her finger slips between the bare, fat lips of her pussy. She moans around my cock and the back of her throat vibrates against my head.
“I’m going to come,” I groan.
She sits up and grabs my ass, sucking harder. Her blonde hair brushes the front of my thighs. The sight of her holding on, determined to take what I’m about to give her, sends me over the edge. She takes everything I shoot out, swallows and sucks me until my knees buckle and it takes the concerted effort of every muscle in my body not to fall over.
“Fuck,” I groan when she finally lets me slip from her mouth. I reach for her, but she rolls out from under me and runs to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
“Hey.” I sit up and walk over to the door. I turn the handle and it’s locked.
“No, please, don’t,” she says, her voice breaking.
I touch the door and shake the handle.
“My world feels like it’s crumbling without you, Hayes,” she sobs. “But I am so mad at you and I don’t trust you to take care of me the way I know I want to take care of you.”
I bang my head on the door lightly. Queens shouldn’t cry.
“Please, open the door, Tesoro.” I’m nearly begging.
“I’ve got to keep my head together for tomorrow. I need this job. I can’t afford to be focused on you. I need you to please keep your distance until you can show me you want more than just to fuck me until I feel better.”
“That’s not it—”
“Please. Tomorrow is a really important day,” she implores.
It feels wrong to walk away. But, I want to give her what she’s asking me for. At least for now.
“I’m not giving up on us,” I tell her. “I know I’ve got a lot to learn, but I love you. And we are fucking worth it, Confidence.”
Her silence is my answer and I feel sick leaving her conflicted in the bathroom of a shitty hotel. But I also know she can take care of herself.
So, I get up.
“Call me tomorrow,” I say. The door vibrates when, I assume, her head falls back or forward onto it.
“I will, please …” She sounds tired and … distressed.
My feet feel like they’re weighed down with one hundred pounds of resignation as I walk to the door and leave.
EXPERT
CONFIDENCE
“What are you doing out here?” Remi’s amused voice startles me. I look up from the paper I’m reviewing and shake my head. He’s all the way at the end of the hall where the elevators are. I get up as he starts walking and try not to look like I’ve been pacing my bedroom all night and pulling my hair out the whole time.
After Hayes left, I calmed myself down, got dressed, and crawled into bed with my work. I’ve never been more grateful for a job in my life. But when I opened the case file and started to review it, my stomach had fallen to my toes. No way would he let me stay on for it.
“Is the room locked?” Remi comes to stand in front of me. He looks like a taller, darker, more handsome Harvey Specter. Every single woman in this office looks at him like they all wished their name was Donna. Except for me. And not just because my heart, body, soul, and mind belonged to another, but because I would never even entertain the thought of being with a man who was in a position of authority over me. Not again.
“No. They’re all in there. Ms. Swanson and Ms. Gauthier are in the room next door. I asked them to wait there for you, because I wanted to talk to you before we go in,” I say.
Remi cocks an eyebrow at me and says, “You’re talking really fast. And can your talk wait until after the meeting? “
“No. It can’t,” I say and then take a deep, calming breath.
“You okay?” Remi’s hand rests on my shoulder and frowns down at me.
“I wanted to tell you … I don’t know how to …” I say and cover my mouth when I realize my tongue is tied. I’ve been practicing what I’d say since the minute my alarm went off last night, but now the words are trapped by fatigue, humiliation, and anger.
“This case. I can’t be part of it. The defendant, Kingdom. My boyfriend—” I shake my head in annoyance at myself. “It’s … my ex-boyfriend,” I force myself to say.
“What is your ex-boyfriend?” Remi asks and looks down at my strangely.
“No, it’s who. It’s Hayes Rivers. I see he’s going to be here today. Your client won’t want that kind of conflict in their attorney. I can’t … and I understand if that means there’s no position here for me. But I just—”
“I know about you and Hayes. Of course I do. It was one of the first things personnel told me when we started checking your conflicts,” he says.
I didn’t expect him to say this. I’ve been bracing for him to rescind his offer. I spent the evening practicing my reaction and crying so that I would be all cried out when it actually happened.
The rush of relief makes me slightly nauseous. I swallow down and make sure I understand.
“So, you want me on that case? Hayes and I—”
“I don’t care about you and Hayes,” he cuts me off sharply. Like he really doesn’t want to hear another word. “I appreciate you telling me. But the clients deserve your expertise, and I don’t think you would risk your law license by acting in any manner less than the best interest of your clients.” He repeats his response firmly.
I feel stupid saying it again, but I just don’t want him to be surprised when Hayes flips out because I’m working for him.
“Thank you for your faith in me,” I say sincerely. He’s a legend. A known taskmaster who doesn’t accept anything but the very best from his associates, and exactly the kind of attorney I want to learn from. “I won’t let you down.”
“I know it. I’ve followed your career. I know you had a misstep.” I smile despite the churning in my stomach. But it’s how I always feel when this gets brought up. However, it’s probably best to get this conversation out of our systems before I start work. A flare of pure, white-hot fucking hate burns my chest when I think about how Nigel’s cowardly, selfish actions will follow me for the rest of my career.
“I promise that it’s not what it seems,” I start. Each word is like acid on my tongue.
“You don’t need to explain. I know when something stinks. I know Lancaster, and now that I’ve met you, I know you wouldn’t throw your career away over some bullshit like that little whelp his daughter married,” he says and cuts off my speech of shame.
“Now, c
ome, and let’s go get our client and go in. I don’t know where Barry is, but we’ll get introductions done without him. And just observe today. Unless you feel something material is omitted, let’s keep your contribution to a minimum. I’ll be honest and tell you that Barry isn’t thrilled I hired you. And he’s going to come for you and try to show me and you that you’re in over your head. This is my firm, but the Houston office is his. So, I won’t rescue you. Just don’t let him intimidate you,” he says. Then he reaches around me, unlocks the door and pushes it open. “After you, Counselor.”
A woman, with the most luscious head of thick white hair I’ve ever seen in my life and is seated at the table with her laptop and finishes typing something before she looks up. Her face is breathtaking. High forehead, high cheekbones, almond-shaped, dark brown eyes framed by dark, swooping brows that are keen and intense. And her skin, the color of cinnamon, is completely unlined and belies the age her hair and expression attributes.
“Amelia Patel,” she says in a light, pretty voice that makes me think she must have a beautiful singing voice. “Counsel for the defendant, partner at Harvey Brooks,” she adds. I know who she is. She’s the preeminent authority of mass torts, and I was less than generous when I wrote about her a few years ago. She smiles expectantly when I don’t respond right away.
She has no idea who I am, but the minute I say my name, she will.
“I’m Confidence Ryan,” I say. Her smile disappears and she drops my hand as if she’s realized she’s petting a snake and turns to face Remi without saying another word.
I glance at him, and he gives me a wide-eyed what was that about? before he turns to address her.
“Confidence is our new Of Counsel. Ms. Ryan is just observing today. We just hired her yesterday and we’re still in the on-boarding process, but all her conflicts cleared yesterday, so I wanted to bring her in on this conversation, since she wrote the jurisprudence on it,” he says. I swell with pride.
The Rivals Page 21