He pulls away abruptly and I look down to find his eyes intent on my face. His lips are slick with my wetness and split in a wicked grin.
“I love it. Do you not?”
“I do,” I say hastily “So much. It’s just… I’ve never… I don’t know. Does it… taste okay?” I’m grateful for all this melanin and the way it hides my blushes because my face is aflame with embarrassment.
But I have to know.
“Hmmm… you taste great.” He hums against me before he puts his mouth back on me. I lie there, and it’s so quiet. I can only hear the harshness of my breaths as I clutch the mattress in search of purchase as Remi’s mouth gives my body a lesson in pure pleasure.
Nothing could have prepared me for the feel of his tongue pushing into my body. For the feel of his lips sucking my clit the same way he sucks my nipples. I’ve made myself come before, but when Remi slips one finger inside of me and pulls me into his mouth on a long languid suck, I break apart in a way I know will leave me changed. My entire world flips and I cry out his name and call for him to save me all at the same time.
I can’t tell the difference between the spangle of stars across the now dark sky and the ones I see when I close my eyes.
He pulls himself up so that he’s on top of me. He presses his forehead to mine and catches his breath with his fingers fisted in my hair.
“Did you like that?” he pants and I can smell myself on his breath.
“So much, yes.” I nod. He pulls the skirt of my dress down and pulls my top up and I stiffen.
“Aren’t we going to… I mean, I thought we were going to…”
He stops fixing my dress and rolls off me.
“No, I didn’t think we were… you’re a virgin, right?” he asks.
“Yeah, I am.”
He cups my cheeks and kisses me. “I wasn’t going to ask you for that when I know I can’t be here or give you anything more right now.”
“But it’s what I want. I mean, I have to lose it sometime and I want it to be with you. Even if we never see each other again, I would want it to be you.”
“Don’t say that. We’ll see each other again. And if you’re sure, Kal—I want you, too.”
“But—” I ask when he doesn’t go on and looks uncertain.
“Um, I’m big,” he says quickly.
“Like, what do you mean? You mean like your dick?” I ask.
“Yeah.” He nods seriously.
“I’ve seen it, remember?”
“No, you haven’t, really. Let me show you. Not to scare you, but so you’ll know why I’m going slow, okay?”
I grin excitedly.
He gets on his knees, unfastens his jeans and pulls them and his boxers down in one swift tug. His cock springs out, bounces off his flat, cut stomach and then points at me like a thick spear. My eyes nearly pop out of my head.
“Wow.”
He fists himself and gives it a pull. “Yeah, that’s what they say… that, and Oh my God,”
I laugh. “Lord save us all from your huge ego.”
“Kinda hard to be humble with this cock, but I try,” he jokes.
I find myself unable to take my eyes from it. I don’t know why, but my mouth is watering. “Can I taste you, too?” I ask him.
He look startles and then, pleased. He nods.
“Yeah… but only take as much as you can, I don’t want you gagging…”
“I wanna gag,” I say and think about how seeing women do that in porn turns me on.
“Walk before you run. If it’s too much, let me know by using your teeth, just not hard,” he instructs as I get up on my knees and try to wrap my fist around the thick root. I’m so surprised by how velvety and warm the skin around it is, that I gasp.
“You okay? You don’t have to.”
In response, I press my lips to the dark, broad head of his dick and he groans. I slide my tongue across it and have my first taste of him. It’s heady. He cups the back my head and I open my mouth so he slips inside of it. The slide of his soft warm skin against my tongue makes me moan.
“Fuck… okay… just a second to get it wet,” he grunts. His hips start to thrust a little, his hands clenching in my hair and I feel powerful. I try my best to mimic the girls I’ve seen do this. I take as much of him in my mouth as I can, hollow my cheeks and suck.
He holds me in place while he fucks my face, two, three, four thrusts and then he pulls out.
“I’m not going to last long, I want to make this good for you.” He reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a condom. “Always prepared,” he quips as he tears it open and rolls it on his now huge, dark, hard as a steel pole, dick. I gulp and look down at myself. I feel a pang of worry that he won’t fit.
“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take my time. Take off your dress and lie back.” He says like he can read my mind.
I do as he says and lie down naked, and instead of feeling vulnerable, I feel blanketed, protected by the diamond-studded night sky. I can’t take my eyes off it.
“Thank you for this.” He parts my thighs and settles his hips in the cradle of them and hovers over me. His beautiful, sculpted face shadowed by the night and yet, in my mind’s eye, I can see him so clearly.
His eyes shine with promises of a happy ending I’m starting to believe in again.
“Thank you,” I whisper and snake my arm around his strong neck and reach up to kiss him.
His hand slips between us and his eyelashes flutter when he feels the wetness of my pussy. “Oh, Kal, you’re so ready.” He moves his hand and lines his dick up with my opening. My heart rate jumps at the same time as my lungs constrict.
He rests on one elbow and grabs my hip with his other hand and nudges forward. At first, all I feel is pressure. His eyes stay on me and even when mine fall closed, I know he’s looking at me. He nudges forward again, and the pressure turns into a sharp pain and my eyes fly open. “It hurts,” I gasp.
“I know, baby. Here… I can help.” He slips a finger between us and rubs my clit. He pushes forward again, but this time, his thrusts are tiny.
He kisses me and my mouth opens under his and just as his tongue slides inside, he thrusts hard and seats himself to the hilt. My back arches off the mattress in pain and the most provocative fullness I’ve ever known pulls a moan from my core that pours out of me in a long keening sound.
“Yes, let me show you,” he says softly and then he starts moving. He holds me tight, his face pressed into my neck, his lips moving as he tells me how good I feel, how he wants to stay inside of me. I pray that I can remember every detail.
I run my hands down his back and whisper in his ear, “This is the best night of my life.”
“Mine, too…” He presses a kiss to my neck. “Open your eyes and look at the stars. They’re shining for you. And every time you look at them from now on, you’ll think of me, won’t you?”
“Yes.” And at his words, what is just the joining of skin and bone turns into something so much more.
I’m falling in love with him.
I want him to fall in love with me, too.
His hips jerk suddenly and he pulls off me. “I’m coming. Watch my face. See how amazing you make me feel.” He grips my hips and drives into me. I watch his magnificent body, the shifting, flexing muscles in his chest, the bulge in his biceps and all of that beautiful skin as he moves above me.
“Fuck… fuck, fuck.” He groans and moans and throws his head back and groans long and loud at the sky. Seeing his strong neck thrown back and vulnerable makes me feel like the queen of the world. And when my titan collapses onto me, I hold him close and savor feeling safer than I’ve ever imagined.
Even if we never have more than this, tonight was more than I’ve dreamed of. I’ll never forget it.
REMI
The ride home is short, every light we approach turns green. Traffic is nearly nonexistent. It’s like fate is rushing us apart.
I wish I could cancel this weekend. I just hope it
goes by quickly and that we can figure out what’s next.
I want to be with her. Beyond this summer. The timing is fucking inconvenient. And if I’m honest, so is she. She’s still in fucking high school. My mother hates her, and soon we’ll live in different cities. The odds are not in our favor, but I’ve never been more determined to defy the odds. I never want this connection to end. It feels really good to be so understood. She feels really good, in general.
When we pull up to the bookstore, I turn the car off and we both sit there.
“So, you’re missing the big party this weekend?” she asks quietly.
“Yeah, it’s not a big deal. We have it every year.”
“Well, we weren’t invited. Not surprised.” She shrugs like she really doesn’t care. But, I hate that they weren’t included in our annual gala.
“I’m sorry. I wish I had some control over the guest list.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t care. But my mom does.”
“Tell her she’s not missing much, anyway. It’s kind of a drag.”
I cup her cheek and she turns her face so that it rests in my palm. I lean in and press a kiss to her lips and she throws her arms around my neck and kisses me back.
Her lips are salty and her mouth is sweet. I slide my tongue against hers and pull her into my lap. Her hips start bucking and I rock upward so she can feel what she’s searching for. I hiss when my dick presses against the heat of her.
“I’ll miss you.” She presses her forehead to mine and we pant into each other’s mouths. I squeeze her ass and grind my cock into her and nuzzle my way through her hair to get to her ear.
“I’ll miss you, too… I’ll be back on Monday.”
“I know,” she whispers in a tight painful voice.
“I want to make you come again before I go,” I whisper.
“I want to make you come, too,” she rasps back. She scoots back, so her back is pressed against the steering wheel. She peers out of the window. The main street of Rivers Wilde is dark and deserted. It’s after ten p.m. and this part of the square closes up around seven.
I look up at the bookstore and all of the lights are off. And even if they weren’t, with no sun, the tint on the windows is impenetrable.
The dim overhead lights of my car make it bright enough that I can see her. “Make me come another day. I want to focus on you.” I grasp either side of her waist and pull her to me. I lean up and kiss her. Her soft lips part under mine and I taste her before I let her go so I can focus on what I’m dying to do.
“Pull down your dress. I want to suck your nipples.” I say and then push up her skirt so I can slide my hands under the elastic of her panties.
My fingers glide through the soft thatch of her hair that I dream about nuzzling my nose against and in to her wet heat.
I skim past her clit and her head falls back. The long smooth column of her throat is exposed and I press my lips to it.
I slip a finger into her and my thumb rests on her clit. She crosses her hands in front of her and tugs the bottom of her dress and begins to pull it over her head.
She’s bare before me and I don’t wait for her to finish taking it off before I pull one of her dark honeyed nipples into my mouth. She cries out. Her hands dive into my hair and she rolls her hips and sets a rhythm for us.
I thrust my finger into her and circle her diamond hard clit while I make a meal of her breasts and in minutes, her pussy clamps down on my finger and shakes over me.
I lean back and watch her. Her eyes closed, her head thrown back so that her hair spills all over the steering wheel, her kiss-swollen lips form my name, even though she doesn’t make a sound.
Uninhibited, beautiful, complicated, damaged, and all fucking mine. I told myself I was going to make her believe in happily ever after again, and I meant it. Once this shit weekend was over. I’m going to tell her that I’m in love with her. Then, I’ll find a way to convince her that when it is time, she should join me in DC.
Chapter 12
PARTY
KAL
* * *
“Surprise! We’re going to a party,” My mother sails into my bedroom and throws what looks like a dozen garment bags on my bed.
“What? You hate parties.” I sit up slowly, push my hair out of my eyes and frown at her.
“Have you been just lying there like that all day?” She frowns at the rat’s nest that’s masquerading as my hair.
She looks at my shorts like they gave her the finger. “You need to throw those away.”
I frown down at them. “Why? I love them.” I run a reverent finger along the frayed edges of my shorts. When my fingers brush my thighs, I close my eyes and remember Remi’s fingers skimming the same spot the night before.
“What if you dropped dead in that and that’s how you were taken away?” she says dramatically. She flings my closet open and starts rummaging.
“Well, then the people at the morgue would know that I always saw the potential in things. Even in a pair of jeans whose knees had finally given up the ghost. They were headed for the trash and I wrote them a happy ending,” I say with a smirk.
“Not everything gets one of those, Kal,” she says over her shoulder as she shoves things around. Not even her dismissal can diminish my dreams. Maybe not everyone gets theirs, but at least I got to touch the outer ring of the constellation orbiting mine this summer.
I hop off the bed and wince when my sore thighs protest. I can still feel him there with every step I take toward the closet. I love it.
She’s opening random shoe boxes and muttering under her breath
“What are you looking for?”
“Shoes. I got you dresses, but I didn’t even know your shoe size and since you didn’t answer the phone when I called you from the mall, I decided to take a chance on your closet.”
“I didn’t hear the phone.”
Because I’ve spent the day with headphones on, listening to John Mayer and replaying every minute of last night with Remi over and over again.
“You’ve been in la-la land since you came floating in last night. I hope I didn’t let you have too much—Aha!” She pulls out a pair of strappy sandals that she gave me last year. They were hers. I haven’t worn them because I’ve never had an occasion to. The four-inch, pencil thin heel might as well be a “broken ankles guaranteed” sign.
But more than that, I thought of them as a bad luck omen. The last time she’d worn them had been to the party at The Wilde’s estate. The night that our lives started to careen downhill like a car whose brake wires had been cut.
“I’m not wearing those,” I say and shake my head.
“Why not?” She looks at me with a dejected pout, her eyes wide with reproach. “They’re beautiful. The crystals are gonna be so pretty when they catch the light.” She waves them in the air to demonstrate. “And wait till you see the dresses I bought you. You’re going to look like a princess.”
“Where in the world are we going?” I eye the offending shoes with skepticism.
“The Rivers Wilde Gala. Our invitation arrived this morning.” She clutches the shoes to her chest and gets a starry-eyed look about her.
“It’s kinda last minute, don’t you think?” I yawn and walk back to my bed. I’d rather stay home and read.
“I’m sure with us just getting here and the shop being unoccupied, they didn’t remember until the last minute to invite us.” She says it even though I know she doesn’t believe that for a second.
“Right, because somehow they totally forgot we were here.” I’m not convinced.
“I think it’ll be nice, with you and Remi dating. If you show up and make nice with his family.”
“It’s too bad he’s with his grandfather on that trip. But if he wasn’t, he might not be there, he said it’s kind of a drag.”
“Well, he’s going to miss seeing you dressed like the princess you are.”
She walks over to my bed and sits down beside me. She lays the shoes down g
ingerly on the bed between us and grabs my hand and turns to face me. I do the same. Our gazes lock and in hers I see hope. She wants so badly for things to be different. She wants this community to be our home. The place where we belong. I do, too.
“I know I fucked-up the first fourteen years of your life. I was a hot mess of a mother.” She presses our joined hands to my chest and holds them there. “But, there’s nothing about my life that has to define yours. You’ve got everything I didn’t. You’re making the right choices. You’ve got a healthy fear of trouble and you’re a heck of a lot smarter than I was.”
“You’re smart.” My first instinct will always be to defend her.
She smiles sadly and her eyes roam my face. “When you were born, I was so young, so scared and very alone. Every adult in my life had encouraged me to consider putting you up for adoption.”
“Really?” I ask, but I’m not surprised. I heard my grandmother say things like that all of the time before she died.
“Yeah. I was sixteen. Single. Your father… well. It doesn’t matter.” She closes her eyes momentarily, the way she always does when she mentions my father.
“I didn’t listen. I knew you were going to be the thing that saved me. You were born at sunrise. And I swear, Kal, a beam came right in the window and kissed your lips. You opened your little mouth like you were trying to swallow it. Remember, that you are nobody’s victim. You’ve already survived a lot. Including having a shitty mother.”
“You’re not.”
“I was. I’ve been scared straight. But if I had been smart, I would have looked at you and seen a future. Instead, I was looking over my shoulder at a past I couldn’t change and making a mess of both our lives in the process.”
Her eyes well with tears and her lips press together.
“It wasn’t that bad… But I don’t miss the way we lived. I like having a stable place that’s ours.”
She gives me a sad smile. “I’ll make sure we never live that way again. I didn’t grow up with someone who loved me more than they loved anything else. But, I hope, that no matter how misguided my decisions were, you know that I love you more than anything else.”
The Rivals Page 44