“No. And she won’t bite you, either. She’s just trying to scare you because she doesn’t know you’re not here to hurt her.”
I scratch her chin and smile down at her
“Do you, girl? She won’t hurt you.” I slide a glance at Kal and wink. “She only breaks human hearts.”
She flushes.
“Come in. Rub her head once, she’ll be good. She’ll slink off and won’t come out until she’s hungry.”
Kal looks between me and the dog like she’s not sure she believes either one of us.
Then, she drops to her knees and brings herself almost eye level with Nancy. “Hey,” she says softly in return to Nancy’s growl. She puts a hand on her head. “I understand, baby. I wouldn’t like people either. I’m Kalilah. I’m nice, like he said. And don’t mind his talk about hearts. I’ve never been the one to do the breaking.” She looks up and smiles in that sweet way she has and I have to look away again. She is so beautiful it steals my breath.
“What kind of dog is she?”
“I don’t know. The vet said she’s a mutt. But that black coat and her height say she’s at least part mastiff of some sort. We just don’t know.”
Nancy huffs contentedly and turns her nose until it’s in Kal’s palm. I blink down at her. “Well, that’s a record. Takes her a few visits to give that to anyone.”
“Hmm, maybe she can smell the little girl in me who always pined for a friend just like her,” she says.
At the mention of that little girl, I remember that Kal shouldn’t be here.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re here?” I ask, pulling Nancy back.
She looks up sharply and stands. “I was in Houston for work. I called your office—thought we could catch up over lunch or something. When I couldn’t get a hold of you there, I called Regan.”
“Regan doesn’t know where I am.”
“No, but Rachel does. She gave me the address.”
“Rachel did? She’s still in Rivers Wilde?”
“Yeah, she asked me not to tell anyone. So I didn’t. I just got in my rental and drove out here.”
“Why?”
“Your sister is worried sick. I wanted to make sure you’re okay. You’ve gone off the grid completely.” She looks around again.
“I’m perfectly happy out here. I have clients. They pay me in cash, food, cleaning services, and yard work. I don’t have to worry that I’m living in a nest of vipers like I do with my own family.” I realize my voice has gone from even to loud and she takes a step toward me. Her eyes are wide with alarm.
“Remi, what’s happened? Who hurt you?” she asks and my soul takes a deep sigh. The ten-pound weight that’s been pressed against my heart lightens because my person is here. She’ll understand. Because she always does.
Yet even in my state of I don’t give a fuck, I’m not devoid of common sense. I know Kal is my friend, but she’s also a journalist. “I’ll tell you, but what I tell you stays here.”
Chapter 26
BURNING
KAL
* * *
Shit. Fuck. Why did he have to say that?
When Remi stepped out with that gun, I almost pissed on myself. But then he looked at me like he’d been hunting and finally had his prey in his sights. I felt every single place his eyes landed on me as surely as he had touched me with those big strong hands of his.
I’d forgotten what a thrill it always was just to be in his presence. Like dancing on the edge of a fire, the flames licking the tips of my toes, but not feeling any fear, because he’d never let me hurt myself. Safe. Cherished, seen. Remi had made me feel all of those things.
It had been so long since I’d felt any of them.
I was so desperate to touch him, I ached. He looks impossibly handsome. His cheeks covered in a dark beard that my fingers itch to touch. His hair has grown, too. He’s always worn it close to his head, but today, it’s long enough to get lost in.
His dark ringlets cover his head like a crown. He’s leaner, but more muscular. Every bit as tall and strong as I remember him.
Oh, God.
I want to climb him like a tree.
I deflected earlier by gushing about the scenery and trying to get us out of the pocket of tension we’d stepped into the minute we saw each other.
I’ve been taking huge imaginary gulps of air. It hasn’t helped the feeling of light headedness that’s come over me.
Being forced to think before I speak feels like a huge task. But, I have to remember why I’m here in the first place. My job.
“Kal. Did you hear me? Are you okay?” Remi peers at me.
“I’m fine. It’s just a shock to see you and of course, what you tell me, stays here.” I think I can make that promise in good faith. Whatever is going on with him, can’t possibly be about the Rivers woman. “I’m listening, go ahead.” I nudge.
* * *
He takes a deep breath. “My father didn’t die when I was two.”
Those are the very last words I expected to hear. “Come again?”
“He left when I was two,”
“Left? I don’t understand.”
“He divorced my mother. Remarried, had another kid.”
I process that quickly. “Okay, so everyone just thought he was dead?”
“No, they—my grandfather and mother—knew he wasn’t. They let us think he was dead because that was easier in their minds than us and the public knowing that he walked away.”
My eyes bug out of my head. “But, that’s… crazy. Do people actually do things like that?”
“Apparently, my people do. The kicker? Gigi Rivers was the woman he left her for.”
A feather could knock me over right now. My mind is racing. I make a mental list about everything that I know about Gigi Rivers. Other than she’s Hayes Rivers’ aunt and that she lives in Italy, and that she was estranged from her family for years, there’s not much information about her. And the word is that she and the family reconciled when her brother died. She raised Hayes in Italy from his teens until he came back last year. Something clicks, the way it does when I finally find the last piece of a puzzle.
I remember the paternity test Jules mentioned.
Oh my God. It can’t be.
“You said they had a kid. You have a half sibling? Do you know where they are?” I ask in a neutral, but hopeful voice. I need him to dismiss that impossible thought.
“Yeah, I know.” He looks at me, his eyes glinting and his lips set in a thin hard line.
“You do?” My eyes nearly bug out of my head.
“But, it’s not for me to tell you. That is not my secret.”
But with those words, he gives it away. It must be Hayes. It makes so much sense. He’s just unwittingly given me the answer to the scoop I came down here to chase. This story would be explosive. Except, of course now, I can’t write it. I just promised Remi and I would never ever violate his privacy like that.
Now, I just have to make sure no one else finds out, I’ll tell Jules there’s no story. Go back to New York and hunt down something else to help me clinch that job. I fall backwards in my seat.
“I know, it’s totally crazy, right?”
“Yeah. Totally…” I trail off as another question hits me. “So where’s your dad? Is he still with Gigi? Did he move to Italy with her?”
“No, he didn’t. But I don’t know where he is. Gigi says he left the house to head to town for work, but he never showed up there and he never came home. She was pregnant with… their kid. She had the baby, went to Italy and planned on taking this secret with her to the grave.”
“Holy shit,” I exclaim louder than I intended and give him an apologetic wince.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to sound excited. It’s just crazy.”
“Yeah, it’s crazy. So crazy that I’ve decided I don’t want anything to do with any of them.”
“So, that’s why you went to see her in the hospital?”
“No. I went because Ha
yes is my friend. She got shot, almost died. Then he led me into a room and left me there so she could tell me something he’d known for weeks.” He grinds his fist into his palm. “Just thinking about that day makes my blood pressure spike. I’m so fucking pissed at everyone, Kal.”
“I can’t even imagine,” I say; I feel totally helpless.
“My whole life is a fucking lie. My mother robbed me of really knowing who my father is. My grandfather, who I thought was my best friend, let me believe my father was dead while he played the grieving father. If he wasn’t already dead, I’d fucking kill him.”
I put a hand on his chest to stop him from talking. “Wait. So, are you saying your father’s not dead?”
“No. I’m not saying that. But, I have no proof that he is either. I’ve been here for months now. No one remembers him or Gigi. Ms. Jameson, who cooks for me thinks she remembers Gigi, but not him. I came out here expecting to find answers easily and there’s just nothing.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I’m like the missing person specialist. I know we haven’t spoken in eight years—”
“Eight years, six months and twenty-one days, but who’s counting?” he adds with a dry chuckle. “And the last time I saw you, I told you I couldn’t have anything to do with you.”
“Um, these are sort of extenuating circumstances, don’t you think?” I chide him.
He looks at me hard and long, his expression stony. “Honestly, Kal. I just wanted to be alone. Wanted to not be Remington Wilde. To see who I was if I wasn’t Lucas’ son. They built this legend around him and then pushed me to live up to it. It wasn’t even real. I threw myself into my work to build something worthy of the name I was given. And now, it’s like it all means nothing. So, I came here hoping to just have some fucking peace of mind.”
He closes his eyes and I feel a huge wave of sympathy for him. But I know if I express it, it’ll just annoy him.
“So, did you find it? Your peace of mind?” I ask after a few minutes.
“No. But it’s been good to cut off the world and just… be.”
I look around the rustic but chicly decorated cottage. It’s got every modern convenience, but it’s furnished to be comfortable rather than stylish. Two huge brown leather couches make a corner around a fireplace that stands in the middle of the room.
“So, this was their house?”
“Yeah. They bought it and the farm when they walked away from their families in Houston. Gigi pays the taxes on it every year. Has it renovated regularly. She said she’d planned on telling me one day. And that almost dying made her realize it was time.”
He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and smooths his fingers over the worn edges of it. He’s got the nicest hands. Long, broad fingers, square, wide fingernails, and intricately veined. Strong, sure hands that seemed to know things about my body that no one else does.
“This is the letter. He planned on finding a way to see us again. He said my mother and my grandfather wouldn’t agree to let him see us.”
“Can I read it?” I ask and he hands it over without looking up.
I unfold it carefully, it’s worn and even though he’s folded it nicely, I can tell it’s been balled up more than once.
Dear Remi,
One day I hope you’ll understand that your freedom is worth more than anything.
I didn’t choose her.
I chose that. And I will never love anyone as much as I love you. I will find a way back to you.
Love,
Dad
“Oh, Remi, I’m so sorry.” My words feel so utterly inadequate, but they’re all I’ve got.
“Me, too. Clearly he was a piece of shit for leaving his family, but I wish I’d had the chance to get to know the real man behind all of the bullshit my mother’s taught me about him instead.”
He drops his head into his hands and groans.
“I’m so sorry, Remi.” I touch his shoulder and he stiffens and sits up straight. My hand slides off his shoulder.
“Where’s your family?” His sudden change of subject catches me completely off guard. I stare at him blankly for a minute and he laughs. “You know... Paul, Bianca?”
I glance at the hands in my lap then back at him. His smile disappears when he sees my face.
“I knew it. Something’s wrong. What happened?”
“Nothing is wrong. Paul and I got a divorce. Bianca’s staying with him while I’m here. I’m bringing her down for a visit the week after next. If I’m still here.”
My answer is met with silence.
His eyes lose their slightly faraway look and focus intently on me.
His posture changes – he straightens and sits up.
The hunger that was there before is back and this time he’s not looking away. My throat is dry, and there’s a thrumming in my core that’s vibrant and strong.
I haven’t felt that sensation in years.
And oh, how I’ve missed it. But, I need to tamp it down. I’m not here for this. There’s so much to talk about.
“Remi, we shou—”
“You’re single?” he asks, his voice a low growl.
“Uh - yes,” I say, and my breath catches in my throat at the way he’s looking at me. He looks hungry. And like he wants to fuck me. My pussy clenches, and his eyes take a quick scan of me, he shifts closer.
“Do you still burn for me the way I burn for you, baby?” he asks.
A wave of lust hits me hard at the desperate catch in his gruff voice.
I nod, fast and hard.
He lunges across the couch and without preamble, or question, cups the back of my neck with one hand, cups my ass with the other and crashes his mouth down on mine. He presses his body flush to mine and the insistent press of his erection against my thigh is the most erotic thing I’ve felt in my entire life. Delicious, toe curling tension coils deep inside of me.
“Then, let’s do this before we say another word and ruin it.” He breathes into my mouth.
He’s panting like he’s just sprinted to catch me. He nibbles at my lips with his feverishly hot mouth; he bites his way down my neck and I arch my back so that my throat presses into his teeth.
I want to feel the bite of it.
I am burning. Around me, everything else catches fire, too.
I’ve forgotten why I’m here.
I don’t remember anything but how much I need him.
My lips go on their own exploration, I suck and lick his scruffy jaw and down the column of his neck, rubbing my nose in his hair, letting my senses learn him, absorb him again.
Enjoy him again. “You smell so good.”
He tugs at the hem of my turtleneck and I lift my arms over my head so he can yank it off. He cups one of my breasts through my tank top and squeezes before he lowers his head and sucks my throbbing, aching nipple into the hot pleasure palace of his mouth. I shout his name and reach down with desperate, grasping fingers to tug his shirt off, too.
I grip the hem of it and I pull, my fingernails scraping him at times until his shirt is over his head. The press of his warm, firm skin against my own now topless body is akin to relief. I run my hands greedily over his smooth skin.
“God, I’ve missed you.” He groans into my neck. He unbuttons my jeans, shoves them down my hips. I shove his sweatpants down and reach between us to wrap my hand around his thick cock. My fingers can’t close around it completely and I pulse in anticipation of having him inside me again. He slips his hand into my panties and cups my pussy. I grind against his palm and moan at how dizzying the pleasure is.
The voice of reason is telling me that I’m making a mistake. That this is the last thing I need to do given what he’s just told me. It’s nearly drowned out by my rebel heart’s shout of joy at how wonderful it feels to be in his arms.
Nearly…
“Wait,” I breathe.
“Shit, you’re so fucking wet,” he whispers against my ear.
“Remi, wait.” I let go of his cock and shift
so his hand slides out from my panties.
He stiffens and pulls off me immediately and hovers over me. “What’s wrong?”
A bead of sweat falls from one of the curls that’s hanging on his forehead. It lands on my cheek. He leans down, his heat and breath as heady as the weight of him on me. He glides the tip of his tongue over the spot on my cheek where his sweat fell.
“Remi, this isn’t what I came for. I’m not ready,” I pant and press a hand to his chest. His hot eyes bore holes into me. He swoops down and gives me the most perfect kiss.
Not as perfect as the sweet friction of him sliding into my body would have been. But, it wouldn’t just be sex. Not to me. My feelings for him are right below the surface. I can’t afford to let them spill over.
So I sit up and pull my clothes on. “Let’s talk first.”
Chapter 27
CATCHING UP
REMI
* * *
She’s sprawled on top of me, her head resting on my shoulder, her eyes closed. Our chests rise and fall in almost perfect unison and we lie there in silence, trying to catch our breaths and gather our thoughts.
That was unexpected. I lost my mind for a second. I break the silence with my confession.
“I want to say I’m sorry because I kind of just attacked you. But Kal, I’ve been waiting for you to be free for me to do that for what feels like nearly half my life.”
She slides her pretty brown eyes over to me and lifts the corner of her mouth in a satisfied smile. “I know. I’ve been waiting, too.”
Surprise has me sitting up, thinking I missed something.
“Really? I thought… you know, you were building a life. I thought you were happy.”
“Happy?” She looks away, her expression thoughtful. She sighs and shakes her head. “No, but she didn’t ask to be born, I chose to have her. And I wanted Bianca to have a stability I didn’t. In hindsight, it was completely misguided. Her life has been in constant upheaval for the last couple of years. I’m just finding my feet.”
The Rivals Page 54