by Sarina Dorie
I’d just made it to the other side and heard the door hiss closed when I saw one of my long sleeves hadn’t made it. The door cleaved it right off, taking the pocket with it. Too bad it hadn’t taken the other useless sleeve with it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
If a woman wants something, she will cross the galaxy to get it.
—Ancient Jomon proverb
Lord Klark was dead. Jacques was dead. I should have felt some relief. A week had passed since I’d shot them and their deaths still haunted my memories. I stood alone in the cargo bay with the chiramantep. They slumbered in their cages now that I had turned the lights off for them.
I stared at my hand in the dim lighting, as if darkness would make it better. Two fingers were completely missing, the pointer and middle finger. I had less than a knuckle of my pointer finger and less than that of my last finger. The burns were healing. The pink, lumpy skin reminded me of Faith’s scars on her face and down the side of her neck and arm. I’d gotten so used to seeing them on her, I hadn’t noticed them when I looked at her. Of course, she said she couldn’t ever forget they were there. I now understood how she felt.
But for me it was more than vanity. I would never be able to hold a staff or fight. I could no longer protect myself or anyone I loved. Tears filled my eyes. What if the soldiers in the brig escaped? I wouldn’t be able to fight them. Eli had promised them he would allow them to live and would drop them off at the next space port we came to, so long as they didn’t make trouble. Eli didn’t like killing much.
I didn’t like killing either, but I didn’t trust those pirates for one second. My compromise was to drug them before we dumped them at a port. That way they wouldn’t try to kill us the moment they were set free.
I clenched my fist, hating the way I expected to feel my fingers press against my skin even though I knew they were gone. I almost felt them at times, but then when I reached for a plate or a tool and dropped it, their absence haunted me like a ghost.
My fingers weren’t all that had been robbed from me.
I swallowed the tightness in my throat and forced back the tears as I thought of Faith. Another part of me was missing. I told myself it was for the best. She was with someone who would love her. She had Meriwether’s memories and they had memory moss to make him whole again. They would be together and there was no room in their lives with me crowding it. This was a happy ending for them.
I needed to make room in my heart for my own happy ending.
“Sumiko? Is that you in there?” Eli called out. “You want some dinner?”
I wiped away my tears and turned. He stood just inside the door of the bay, searching for me amidst the cages of animals. I was glad for the darkness so I would have time to compose my face.
“I’m here.” I cleared my throat when my voice came out like rusted metal. “I’m coming.”
I made my way through the maze toward him. He stared at the ground, one arm behind his back, the other awkwardly held around his middle.
He waited in the hall where it was bright. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you none.”
“I’m fine.” I strode down the corridor toward the mess hall.
“I just wanted to prepare you. We’ll be arriving at New Campton Manor Station within an hour. We can check with Meriwether’s stepmother and see if they’ve heard word from him.”
This was the home where Meriwether Klark had grown up and where Eli had served as a servant. As a maid, he’d said, in another life when they’d called him “Birdie.”
“They won’t be there,” I said more harshly than I intended.
“Aye, I know. We’re moving faster than they are. In any case, I’ll be able to get my little girl and then we can recruit some new crew. I’m also hoping to stock up on—”
I made to rush past, but he put an arm on my shoulder, stopping me. “You were fretting about her again? Your friend?”
“No.”
His sly smile told me he didn’t believe me. He allowed me to keep my lie. His black eyes were warm as they gazed into my face. I saw so much there: love and desire and friendship. It was hard to believe I had found someone who loved me as much as her.
Her? Him.
Eli went on. “I’ve sent out several messages. We’ll hear news about them soon. I’m sure of it, I am truly.”
I nodded. Faith’s grandmother was just as anxious to hear news as we were. That was where Faith had wanted to go. To the Americas. It was possible she would go there with her new husband.
“I came to find you for another reason as well.” Eli leaned against a bulkhead. “I have a present for you.”
I tried to smile and be cheery so I wouldn’t ruin his happiness. He had something to look forward to. He was going home. He would see his daughter. A flight that would have taken him six months would now only take weeks. In a couple days he would have a family.
Neither of us knew what we would do after that. Return to Aynu-Mosir? How could I return and tell Felicity and Taishi I had failed to protect Faith? How could I let them see my hand? I was no longer a fighter. I didn’t know who I was.
“Close your eyes,” Eli said.
I did so, trying to keep my face neutral.
He kissed my lips. I kissed him back.
“Thank you, that was very nice,” I said. I opened my eyes.
“No, not yet! Blimey!” He shoved something behind his back.
I closed my eyes again. He took my hand in his. He wrapped something around my wrist and buttoned it. He pulled soft fabric around my hand. Something pressed against the stumps where my fingers should have been. The pressure intensified, but only for a moment. There was the kind of tingle there would be with memory moss. Then I would swear I felt my entire hand again.
It was an illusion, I knew, my mind playing tricks on me again.
“Open your eyes.”
I gasped.
My hand glowed blue. It was a partial glove that made my hand look almost normal aside from the little shudders of light that pulsed over the surface of the leather glove. The parts that encased my stumps and the section across the back and front of my hand almost matched the tan of my skin. I smoothed my other hand over the soft texture of what must have been animal skin. Where I poked at my new pointer finger I would swear I felt the sharpness of my nail.
“How is this possible? I can feel?” I asked in wonder.
“It’s a mild electromagnetic field. Doctor Aguillard and I have been studying the memory moss and realized it connects to nervous tissue. The sensation will only be temporary, a few hours at most before it will need to be replaced with new moss.”
When I closed my fist, the fingers closed. When I opened it, my fingers opened. My heart sped up, excitement rushing through me like a river.
“I need something to throw.” I spotted the wrench hanging from a loop in Eli’s tool belt. I slid it out with my new hand and threw it up into the air.
“Blimey! Don’t ruin my wrench. I hate it when you play with my tools,” he complained. He must not have minded too much, as he was smiling.
I tossed the wrench from hand to hand with as much ease as I had always done.
The hand clicked and whirred inside. I didn’t think I would ever be able to get used to that sound. Then again, I’d also told myself engines didn’t have kamuy. Eli had cured me of that superstition.
Eli bit his lip. “It’s just a prototype. I can make adjustments.”
“What is a ‘prototype?’ Does that mean it has a space engine inside?”
“Ha! No, this just has a little engine, if you’d even call it that. Doctor Aguillard has been helping me with the ergonomics of the design and chemistry of the memory moss.”
The doctor. He wasn’t so bad, even if he was a gaijin and French.
“Does the engine in this do anything?” I teased. “Shoot fire out the fingertips? Or lasers?”
“No! Why would you want a hand that doubles a
s a lethal weapon? Can’t you just be bloody well happy with what you have?”
I handed the wrench back to him. “I am happy, but I’m also practical, anata. If I’m going to have a machine hand, it might as well do something useful, ne?”
He shook my head at me. “It does plenty of useful things, love.” He took my hand and placed it against his cheek. I could feel his warmth through the leather. He kissed me with such tenderness, I felt as though I could give up all the memory moss in the galaxy for more of that.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to.
Epilogue
Meriwether
Pain clouded my mind. My face throbbed and my skin felt as though it were on fire. I suspected I had been drugged. Something bad had happened to me, but I didn’t remember what. Gentle fingers stroked the one place on my body that didn’t hurt, a patch of skin on the back of my hand. I blinked my eyes open to find myself in a hospital. A distant hum thrummed through the walls and I knew I was on a starship, although I couldn’t recall if I had been in space before.
I turned my face away from the light. A woman sat at my bedside. A jolt of shock shot through me when I saw her face. A jumble of emotions swelled inside me: fear and longing, pity and regret. I didn’t understand these feelings, nor did I know why I distrusted her. My heart beat wildly and I looked around for help, but no one else was near. I wanted to call out, but I made myself look calm and composed. This pretense of confidence felt familiar.
I forced a smile that made my face hurt all the worse.
She smiled. “Thank goodness you’re all right.” She was as beautiful as an angel, and from the scars on one side of her face, it looked as though she had been injured too. A wave of déjà vu swept over me and I felt as though I had been in this bed before, in pain after another accident. Had she been there then or had someone else been at my bedside?
“What happened?” I asked. Bandages made it hard to talk, but I managed to make my words clear enough.
Tears filled her eyes. “You’ve been in an accident. Several, actually.”
Her accent was American, though I couldn’t remember having met any Americans before. I couldn’t remember anyone, save for those French brigands who’d tortured me. She’d been there with the pirates and had tried to shoot someone—a man. He’d called me son and looked at me with kindness, but I hadn’t remembered him. I’d feared him, and yet, I hadn’t wanted her to shoot him either. Had she? No, I think it had been the pirates who had done all the shooting.
Knowing she had tried to shoot someone who may have been my father didn’t make me trust her any better.
“How do you feel?” she asked, drawing me away from my recollections. “The doctor sedated you so you would rest. We want you to be well enough to talk to the American president when we arrive at Earth, though I told him you aren’t well enough for that yet.”
She continued on, but it was hard to focus. Her eyes were as blue as the sky and her voice reminded me of sunshine. I decided she looked like my mother. “Are we related?” I asked.
She choked on a laugh. “I hope not.” She leaned forward and laid a kiss on my brow. A wave of golden hair brushed against my lips. She smelled like flowers and soap and a heady musk that was familiar. Desire stirred inside me.
As if reading my mind, she smiled. “There’s something I need to do for you.” She pulled back my blankets. Carefully she untied the collar of my gown. Much of my chest was bandaged, but there was a large patch where the skin was shiny and pink, as though the skin were in the process of healing. Other patches were scabbed with burns and some places looked healed but my skin was so tan I couldn’t believe it was my own.
She continued undressing me.
“Miss, we hardly know each other.” Unless we did know each other. I was afraid we might.
“I’m your fiancée,” she said.
I wasn’t certain I believed her. And even if it were true, that didn’t make it any more appropriate for her to have her way with me right there. I glanced around for the doctor or nurse. This had to be the most poorly staffed hospital in the galaxy.
She lifted a mortar and pestle from the table beside my bed. She ground up some herbs that smelled like lemon and mint and something else I couldn’t identify.
“What are you doing?” I asked. “Does my doctor know what you’re about? I insist you call for the doctor. I’m feeling ill. I need his medical expertise.” When she made no move to fetch him, I hollered, but no one came.
She smeared a green paste on her fingers and pressed it to the healed place on my chest. I tried to squirm back, but every movement felt like lightning in my limbs.
“It’s all right, my love,” she said. “I’m going to make everything right. Have a little faith.” One side of her mouth lifted as though she’d just made a joke.
My flesh tingled under her touch. The pain in my limbs eased away. I felt myself sinking into the blue of her eyes. It was like falling upward into the sky, so calm and peaceful.
My memories came sliding into me. I did have Faith. And more importantly, I had myself again. I was complete, and I knew I was at last safe with the woman I loved.
The End
A Sneak Preview of
The Memory Master
BOOK FIVE
SUMIKO
Chapter One
The day my village was attacked by off-worlders started out like any other.
I was five and I couldn’t keep up with my teenage brother’s longer legs as I chased after him. I followed Taishi out of the crowds of visitors in the village and into the jungle. It was hot and humid and the effort of running after him made sweat bead up on my upper lip.
“Big brother!” I called. “Take me with you.”
He didn’t answer. He ducked behind a tree. I hurried after him, stepping on fallen twigs that crunched under my feet. When I darted around the tree, he wasn’t there. There was no path. I pushed through the long red leaves of a bush and scrambled over a fallen log, but he wasn’t anywhere.
“Boo!” he yelled as he leapt down from the branch above.
I scrambled back and screamed. My heart pounded like a drum in my chest and tears filled my eyes. My brother’s hair was black and his face wide like mine, but his cheeks looked like he’d stuffed too many sugar fruits into his mouth. When he smiled, his eyes reminded me of two crescent moons frowning at the sky.
He bent over laughing. “You’re such a baby.”
“I am not.” I bawled up my fists at my sides. “I want to come with you.” Even if he was mean.
“Go back to the village, little sister. You’ll just be in the way.”
“You never play with me anymore.”
He picked up the gourd jug he’d stashed in the bushes “Today is the most important gathering of our lifetime. Do you understand that? Nipa gave me duties to perform. Go back and play with the other children.” He mussed up my long hair and pushed it into my eyes.
Didn’t he understand? I hardly saw him anymore. I missed him so much it made my bones ache. Why couldn’t he let me come with him? I could be his helper. I wanted to tell him this, but I didn’t know how.
When I didn’t budge, he shoved me toward the Chiramantepjin village. “Go, Sumiko. Now.”
He must have been mad. He didn’t use a polite honorific after my name.
I trudged back, wearing my disappointment like a burden on my frame. I passed a group of women visiting from another village who sat in the jungle under a large shady tree. They wove red flowers into crowns and chatted amiably. I overheard them say they had travelled for weeks to get there, which seemed like forever just to come to our yearly Flower Festival. I didn’t know until much later the yearly festival had nothing to do with all the visitors.
Off the path, travelling away from the village was one of the off-worlders. He was different from the rest of them with his orange hair and spotted skin. I’d thought he had some kind of disease the first time I’d seen h
im, but Taishi had assured me the man was “normal.” Or as normal as a gaijin, or off-worlder, could be.
The orange-haired man didn’t see me watching him. He left the path and walked into the jungle with purpose. The visitors from the stars were always getting lost in the jungle and needing our help. I’d met this man several times before, though I couldn’t remember how to say his name. He had been nice to me. He’d given me something chewy to eat he’d called “candy.” It was sweeter than a sugar fruit. I didn’t want him to get lost. I called after him. He probably couldn’t hear me over all the celebrations coming from my village.
I ran through the brush and around trees, trying to catch up with him. His legs were even longer than Taishi’s and he walked so fast. Maybe if I helped him not get lost he’s give me more candy. I stopped running when I saw two men in red jackets. They were pale like him, but I’d never seen these gaijin before, and I’d thought I knew all the off-worlders there were on my world.
The strangers spoke to the orange-haired man, but I didn’t understand much of what they said other than my tribe’s name and the names of other tribes. I didn’t like the sour look on the men’s faces and ducked behind a tree. The orange-haired man shook his head adamantly and shouted something. One of the men punched him in the stomach and the other struck him in the face. I flinched back. The orange-haired man doubled over. He moaned as they carried him off.
One of them spoke into a funny little box made of metal and laughed.
I didn’t know who these men were or how to help the nice man who had given me candy. My brother would have known what to do, but I didn’t know where he was now. I knew where my mother was, but she wasn’t going to be happy if I interrupted her.
I ran back to the village, sweat pouring down my face. I leapt over clusters of red flowers that had fallen into the path. I passed a group of men and women wearing the purple and green furs of the tanuki dogs. The thudding of drums and conversation grew louder as I neared the village. Huts built high in the trees came into view. The brown and green of our treehouses and sky bridges were almost hidden in the canopy of the trees.