by Jamie Pope
“No, and that’s why Pop is still pissed that I left the military before it turned me into a humorless war-obsessed old son of a bitch.”
“Dads can really suck sometimes,” Wyn said.
“Damn right, girl,” Jack said.
“I agree,” Cullen murmured.
“I loved my dad,” King added, ever positive. “He was a saint. Treated me mum like a queen.”
“Oh, shut up about your loving and supportive family, King.” Jack grinned at him. “Nobody wants to hear about your happiness when we’re bitching.”
“I am blessed. Now get off your pretty ass and come get a sandwich before I eat all the bread.”
Jack got up and walked toward the other men. “There were four loaves there. There had better be bread left.”
“Do you want a sandwich?” Wyn asked Cullen.
“I’ll make one in a minute.” He was still holding on to her, his chin resting on her shoulder.
“I was offering to make it for you.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I want to do it. I see the way you eat. You never take more than you should. You eat just enough to stay alive. You never overindulge.” She paused for a long moment and then lowered her voice. “You eat like someone who has been hungry before.”
He stiffened slightly. “I have been hungry before,” he whispered.
“When you were in the military?”
“Before that. The military gave my life structure. I never went hungry there. I grew up very poor. Things got worse after Mum died.”
She could sense a sadness in him last night when they briefly spoke about his family. Separated from his siblings, left with a father he hated. She turned in his arms and looked at him. “Let me make you a sandwich. Please.”
“You really want to make me a sandwich, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “You’ve done so much for me the past year, let me do something for you.”
“I did my job. You don’t need to thank me for that.”
“You had hot tea waiting for me after my lectures. You always seem to know when I’m cold. You stockpiled extra lip balm this winter because you know I always lose mine.”
“You figured that out?”
She nodded. “You take care of me.”
“I don’t do much.”
“It means something to me.”
He looked at her for a long moment and then closed the distance between their mouths and kissed her gently on the lips. It was the first time their lips had made contact and she felt an intense spark that had traveled through her entire body. It wasn’t a deep kiss. It wasn’t sexual, but it made her want more of him.
She wasn’t sure if it was the sunshine or the tropical setting or the sweet-smelling air, but she was developing this deep need to be closer to him. She had never felt that way about anyone. She knew feeling that way about her bodyguard, about someone who was paid to stay with her, was wrong. They all left in the end. When the paychecks stopped coming, the people she had cared about the most stopped seeing her.
It was foolish to get attached.
“Sweet, lass,” he murmured.
She felt like being foolish today. She knew she shouldn’t do it, but she had spent her life denying herself. She reached up, looping her arms around his neck and kissed him, deeper this time, her mouth opening beneath his. He kissed her back, his arms tightening around her.
He broke the kiss and looked down at her again, a change in his eyes. Their affection was only supposed to be for show. But that wasn’t for show. That was real and she could see the arousal in his eyes.
“No,” he said.
“No?”
“You’re not allowed to kiss me like that.”
“Like what?”
“In a way that’s going to get me in trouble.”
He pulled away from her and walked outside.
Chapter 7
“That sounds like fun,” Cullen heard Wyn say a few days after their kiss. “When can we go?”
“Right now,” King told her. “I’ve been wanting some ice cream. There’s a shop across the street from the site that puts a whole pint of ice cream on one cone.”
“That sounds like a stomachache waiting to happen,” Wyn said, her face scrunched.
She was at ease with his friends. He wasn’t sure she would be, because looking at her now, anyone would be able to see that she didn’t fit in with them. They had all seen action during war. They all had scars and wounds that cut deep. Some of them had done things in the name of their country that would probably make Wyn faint and yet she was there, in her classic but sexy sundress with her good posture and proper speech, hanging out with them and genuinely looking as if she were having a good time.
Could she be pretending? Putting on a good show?
No.
She was too pure for that. Her face betrayed her every emotion. She liked them and he appreciated that.
“His stomach is like a garbage disposal. One day I’m afraid it’s going to back up and explode. We’re all going to be up to our knees in beef and chips and protein powder,” Darby said.
Wyn giggled. Cullen had tried not to stare at her. It was a hard habit to break. His only task this past year was to watch her every move, anticipate her every whim. But he wasn’t supposed to do that here. Still, his eyes zeroed in on her. He had never heard her laugh like that. It was sweet.
“Sorry!” She slapped her hands over her mouth. “I just got an image of that in my head.”
“Don’t be sorry for laughing, sis,” King said, squeezing her shoulder with his massive hand. “You don’t ever have to be sorry for doing that here. Now, come on. The ice cream shop doesn’t stay open all day, so let’s go. Darby, you’re driving.”
“Where are you going?” Jazz walked up to the patio. Cullen hadn’t seen very much of her the past couple of days. She got like this sometimes. She needed to be alone, to disappear for a while. They all knew to give her space, to not go off in search of her.
“To see the pirate’s castle and get ice cream.” The smile had dropped from King’s face. There was an intensity in his eyes that reminded Cullen that he was more than the friendly, affable giant that most of them saw him as. He seemed angry.
“Are you going to invite me on this outing?” Jazz asked, her hand on her hip, as if she were challenging King.
“No. You’re not invited. Neither is Cullen.”
“Excuse me?” Cullen turned to face his friend. “Why not?”
“We like your girlfriend better than you,” Darby said.
“It’s true,” Jack called from the hammock he had been dozing in.
“You coming with us, Jack?”
“I’ll meet you at the ice cream shop after you finish with the castle. I’ve got an errand to run and then I’ve got to take a couple for a sunset flight around the bay.”
“That sounds so romantic,” Wyn said.
“It is.” Jack hopped out of the hammock and sauntered his way over to the rest of them. “Just say the word and I’ll take you up.”
“Cullen needs to decide when he would like to go.”
“Oh, sweetheart, just like with today’s outing, Cullen will not be invited to that one. It will just be me and you and the orange-purple sunset.”
Wyn’s cheeks grew a little red as she smiled. “Darn. It has always been my dream to be with two men as the sun set.”
Cullen’s eyes widened at her naughty little joke. She took him off guard again and it wasn’t for the first time.
“That was good, Wyn,” Jazz said, her gaze still appraising. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Jazz,” she said quietly, before turning to King and Darby. “Gentlemen, there’s a pirate castle to see and ice cream to be had.”
“Well, then. . . .” Darby offered her his arm. “I think we should go.”
A few moments later they were gone. Jack and Jazz were both facing Cul
len, neither one of them looking at ease. “What?”
“Marry her,” Jack said.
“What?” both he and Jazz said at the same moment.
“You heard me. Marry that girl. If there is any happiness to be found in the world, you’ll find it with her.”
It was then Cullen was reminded that for all Jack’s good looks and charm, he had a darkness in him too. He was a POW. Captured and held for months. Out of everyone in the group, he talked the least about his time away.
He was like Jazz in a way. He used his charm the way Jazz used her fierce attitude and sex appeal. Like a shield. Keeping everyone from getting too close. But unlike Jazz, who sometimes confided in King, Jack spoke to no one.
“I didn’t think you believed in marriage, Jack,” Cullen said.
Jack shrugged. “Marriage works for some people. Wyn’s the type of girl you marry and if you can’t see that, you’re a complete dumb-ass.”
“What about me?” Jazz asked with her hands on her hips. “Am I the kind of girl you marry?”
Jack turned on the devilish grin that made most women melt. He stepped closer to Jazz, grabbed her by the waist and kissed her neck. “Jasmine, my sweet, beautiful princess. I would marry you in a heartbeat. But we can’t get married. We’re too hot.” He kissed the other side of her neck. “We’ll go to bed once and end up burning this whole island down.”
“We would,” Jazz sighed. “It’s a shame. We would make the most gorgeous children.”
“I’ll make you a deal. If you still haven’t found your soul mate by forty, I’ll make a baby with you.”
“Deal.” She grinned at him, but it faded away. “You really think Wyn is worth marrying? That’s huge. We don’t invite outsiders in.”
“He brought her here. That says something. The boys love her. I like her.”
Jack said he liked her. Not that she was hot or that he wanted to take her to bed. But he liked her. Those words made the hair on the back of Cullen’s neck stand up.
Rationally, he knew that Wyn wasn’t his, but she felt like his. In another world she might have been his. But in this world he couldn’t have her. Not the way his body craved her.
“I’m serious, Jack. Don’t try it with her.”
“I’m not trying anything with her. She doesn’t want me. She wants you. It’s all in her eyes. You can tell so much about a woman from her eyes.”
She had kissed him. Well . . . he had kissed her first. Just lightly on the lips, because she was sweet and kind and she had wrapped herself around him. He controlled it. He had wanted to cup her face in his hands and kiss the breath out of her. He knew he couldn’t do it. That was too much and he had too little control. But then she turned around and kissed him, deeper than he had kissed her, with her mouth open and her tongue sweeping in. He had broken the kiss and looked down at her. Everything was in her eyes. Everything was in her kiss.
There was something there between them, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it with her, so he told her no. To not kiss him like that. To not make him want her more than he already did.
“She’s a good girl, Jack.”
“Maybe a little too good for you.”
“I agree,” Cullen said with a nod.
“I’m going to catch up with them. You two enjoy your day.”
He left Jazz and Cullen alone on the patio. “Your girlfriend is getting rave reviews from the boys.”
He didn’t miss the emphasis on the word girlfriend. “Why don’t you like her? She hasn’t done anything to deserve your dislike.”
“It’s not that I don’t like her. I just don’t trust her.”
“You don’t trust anyone. You were a spy. It’s in your nature.”
“I do trust some people, but not her or this relationship. Are you sure she’s not running a scam?”
“What kind of scam would she be running? You think she’s a gold digger?”
“I know you have some money socked away, but it’s not that she’s after.”
“Then what?”
“She’s a little too perfect. A little too well-bred. Are you sure she’s not a spy?”
“What secrets do I have that she would want? I haven’t been in intel in over five years. And I didn’t even work for the United States.”
“I’m sure you have secrets. I don’t know what it is about this girl, but there’s something not right about you two and I just can’t put my finger on it.”
“I could say the same thing about you and King. What happened between you two? He’s not happy with you.”
“Nothing happened,” she said a little too quickly. Jazz was good at hiding her emotions, but she couldn’t hide hers right now. He saw a flash of pain in her eyes.
“It wasn’t nothing. King is mad and I’m damn well sure it was your fault.”
Her eyes went wide with outrage. “He’s not perfect. How do you know it wasn’t his fault?”
“Because I know you and you’re harder to get along with than a wet cat. He’s the most patient out of all of us and if he can’t be bothered with you, then you must’ve done something to cross him.”
“It was a difference of opinion. That’s all.”
“Apologize to him. He’d kill for you, but more importantly, he’d die for you. Stop being an arse and tell him you’re sorry.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t think about it too long. Don’t let your pride get in the way of your friendship.”
* * *
Later that night, Wyn sat on the edge of her bed, looking out the window at the paradise around her. The sky was black, but the moon was bright and huge and, unlike at home in D.C., she could see every star in the sky. She was tempted to go outside and walk around in the balmy darkness, but she knew she couldn’t. Cullen would probably hear the door open and spring outside to see what she was up to. She wouldn’t disturb him tonight. But the need to go outside was strong and she wondered if she could climb out the window quietly.
The day had been lovely. She had immensely enjoyed her time with Darby and King. The two men made her laugh and King treated her with a warm protectiveness that felt brotherly. He had bought her ice cream and gave her a mini-tour of the island. If this was a normal vacation she would have been very happy, but tonight the tears were rolling down her cheeks and she couldn’t stop them.
She had run away from her life. Her career. Her home and routines. But she was in paradise with wonderful people and she should be enjoying herself, but she couldn’t fully, because she was thinking about all she had left behind, the scandal that forced her away, and the mystery of her birth.
There was a knock on her door.
“Yes?” She wiped her eyes and sat up straight.
Cullen opened the door slightly and poked his head in. “I just wanted to check on you. I saw that your . . .” He trailed off. “You’ve been crying.”
He pushed the door all the way open and walked in. He was shirtless again, all of his brutal scars on display. He only wore sleep pants; his feet were bare and barely made a sound as he walked across the wood floors.
“I’m fine.”
“If you tell me that those were happy tears that made your eyes so red, I’m going to say you’re full of shit, lass.”
She smiled, knowing that he knew that she liked when he called her that. “I’m fine. Really. Please, go back to bed. I hope I wasn’t making too much noise.”
“You weren’t. I just wanted to see how you were.” He sat down next to her on the side of the bed. “You’re not well.”
“I think I should go back to D.C. soon. Everything has been so lovely here, but I feel like I’m running away. I just left everything behind.”
Cullen shook his head. “It hasn’t been a full week. The reporters are still swarming your house, waiting for you to appear. You can’t go back. They won’t give you any peace.”
“But I don’t know anything. They can hound me if they want, but they won’t learn anything. Pretty soon they’ll g
et tired.”
“Maybe, but they’ll tear your life apart in the process. You’re a person who likes peace. I know that about you.”
“What life did I have? I had my work. If I go back home, I could learn the truth. I don’t believe the letters were made up. I want to know who my birth mother is.”
Cullen’s jaw tightened. “You think the media is who you would like to find that out from?”
“I want my father to tell me. But he won’t speak to me and that tells me a hell of a lot, more than any reporter could.”
“I don’t see how going back will make things better. If the news breaks, we can easily access it here.”
She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. Her chest started to feel like it was closing, little fingers of panic squeezing around her heart.
The not knowing was the worse. The most painful.
Her father didn’t respect her enough to tell her the truth. He still treated her like she was a child, too simple to understand the complexities of an adult relationship. Or maybe he was trying to save her opinion of him. He didn’t want her to know he was a cheater. But this was worse. The silence made her think less of him.
She felt Cullen’s large, warm hand on her cheek and she opened her eyes to look at him. His face had been so unreadable to her before, but this time he couldn’t hide what he was feeling. She could see the concern there.
Things were changing between them. A little more each day. Complicating an already too complicated mess.
“Stay with me,” he whispered.
She wasn’t sure if he meant here on the island or in that moment. “I’m okay now.”
“You’re not. But you try to put up a good front.”
He was so close to her. His hand on her skin. His large body looming over her. She could smell his clean scent. Feel the warmth emanating from his body. It was making her heady. She took a deep breath. “I think I need some air.”
He nodded. “Get your shoes and something to cover your shoulders with and meet me at the back of the house.”