by Jamie Pope
“I wish I knew what to say to you. You know his character better than I do.”
“There’s nothing you can say to me. But I would like to know how the conversation with your sister went.”
He smiled and it was the most beautiful thing she had seen all day. “She’s an adult, but she still sounds the same. Still full of sass. Still sweet. I knew I had missed her, but I never realized how much until I got the chance to speak to her again.”
“Are you going to see her?”
“Eventually.” He nodded. “I want this mess with your father to be over with before I go see her in Miami.”
“She’s in Miami?”
“Yes. She’s going to school there,” he said with some pride. “She loves being in the States. She loves the heat of Miami and the people and the cultures. You should have heard her go on about the food she’s eaten since she’s been there. I’ve been gone so long that I forget what it’s like to be in Ireland, but it’s a world of difference. Life seemed so much less colorful there.”
“You have no urge to go back to Ireland?”
“No. I never thought I’d want to live in America, but I can’t see myself living any place else. Except for here. I could spend the rest of my life here with no regrets.”
“Where else do you love to go in the States?” He had been with her for nearly a year and yet she felt like she was just getting to know him. Like she was getting to know him in a way that few did and his words almost felt like a gift to her.
“New York. I lived there for a year when I first started doing private security. Everything you need is in a ten-block radius. You can see people in a dozen different colors and hear a dozen different languages in a day.”
“You can get lost there,” she said softly.
“Yes, if you want to get lost. But you can also find yourself there. I can imagine one can create a community wherever they go.”
“And you chose to make yours here.”
“Yes. These people were my family when I thought I had none.”
A touch of sadness swept through Wyn at his words. She had parents. She had family on paper, but she didn’t feel like she had a community. There was no sense of home. No soft place she could land if she fell. But she could create one. She could be like Cullen and that gave her hope.
“Do you ever want a bigger family?” she asked him. “Children of your own?”
He was silent for a moment. “I haven’t thought about it. My lifestyle never seemed to be able to fit a family of my own before. I would have to give up my work to have that. I couldn’t raise children and do what I do. I could never be like my father. I cannot be absent. I’d rather be childless than be a shitty father.”
“You would be a good father,” she told him.
“Why do you think that?”
“You take care of people. You take care of me in a way no one else ever has. You could just be doing this for the paycheck and you probably are, but I don’t feel that way. I feel like you care.”
“I take pride in my job, and would go above and beyond for anyone under my protection, but you are different. I’m not just protecting you. You know that, don’t you?”
“I feel like I’m a giant pain in your ass,” she said with a watery laugh. “You brought me here. To your home. To the people who mean the most to you.”
“How is that a burden on me? I believe if there was a choice between keeping me or you, I would lose the competition. I think your cooking has won the hearts of my friends.”
“They are very nice people.”
“I’m out of the godforsaken cold weather and I don’t have to worry about any hardened criminals coming after you like I did when you were translating for the jails. Bringing you here has made my life easier.”
“I’m preventing you from seeing your sister.” That weighed on her a bit. He wanted to wait until this scandal blew over, but how long would that take? How many more things would creep up before it ended? Would there ever be an end?
“You’re not stopping me from seeing my sister. I haven’t seen her since she was a girl. A little while longer won’t make much of a difference. I don’t think I would have called her if you hadn’t pushed me to.” He grabbed her hand. “Don’t be such a crybaby,” he said with a soft smile. “You’re looking for reasons to be anxious.”
She nodded, feeling comfort in the weight of his hand in hers. “What are you going to do about your father?”
“I still don’t know. He smashed his car into a wall years ago and has been in a care home ever since. He blames me for leaving him. I’m not sure why he wanted me to stay behind when he hated me so much.”
“Do you really think he hated you?”
“He beat the shit out of me daily for years. I don’t know much about loving a child, but I don’t think that’s how you go about it.”
“If he hates you and you hate him, then why are you still so unsure about what to do about him?”
“What do you Americans call it? Closure? There’s a rawness inside of me when I think of him. It never goes away. It’s just beneath my surface. I want it to go away. I’m not sure that’s possible. He hasn’t changed. Maeve told me he’s the same selfish bastard he always was. So what’s the point of seeing him if he’s only going to make my rawness worse?”
“Or it could get better?”
“Or it could get better,” he agreed.
“I would go with you,” she told him and when his gaze sharpened on her, she wondered if she had said the wrong thing. “If you wanted.”
He touched her cheek and then pressed his lips to hers. It was a gentle kiss, but it took her breath away. “It was a mistake bringing you here. I can’t think clearly when I’m with you.”
“Maybe it’s a good to be a little muggy-headed sometimes.”
He kissed her again. His eyes closed this time. “I need you to go into your room and lock the door.”
“Why?” She rested her head against his. “I want you.”
“Please, Wynter. I don’t ask you for much, but I’m asking you for this.”
He was right. He had never asked her to do anything for him, so she would do what he had asked. She would lock herself away from him, falling asleep thinking about how much she wanted to be in his arms.
* * *
When Cullen woke up the next morning, he found the newspaper that he had bought yesterday was missing from the kitchen table. The headline was accusing Wynter’s father of kidnapping. They teased another letter from his lover that would prove that he had. It was all speculation from everyone stateside. There were letters only signed with a G, by some mystery woman who never was produced. There were no facts. No hard evidence.
It could all be fake, some news stations claimed. A huge ruse designed by someone who wanted to bring down Bates and his future presidential campaign. But Cullen knew that the woman existed or had existed once. Bates admitted that much to him, and that there was someone who was leaking the letters. Perhaps a former staffer, someone close enough to be able to access his personal belongings.
But whoever the leaker was hadn’t been determined. He knew Bates was working to find out who had put such a huge wrench in his life. Cullen was interested too, and he wondered if the leaker understood that what he or she did didn’t just affect Bates, but his family. Specifically, his only child, who most of the speculation surrounded.
He remembered Wyn’s tortured expression yesterday and wished there was something he could say to her to reassure her. But there was nothing he could say. Her father might have kidnapped that woman, forced her away until her baby was born and ripped the infant from her arms.
Might was the wrong word. Did. Bates did do that. It wasn’t a possibility. It was true. Cullen reread the letters that had been released to the media. Bates had kept that woman hidden somewhere that she couldn’t escape. But why?
It seemed needlessly cruel. His wife had to know about the affair when Bates brought home a baby. It didn’t seem to be a re
ason to imprison someone.
But more importantly: What happened to the woman later? Could Bates have had her killed? He knew those thoughts were going through Wynter’s mind. They could be true. She wanted to know the truth, but maybe this truth would hurt too much.
Cullen found himself going back to Darby’s house. His friend had been one of the best operatives in the business. His entire life centered around gathering information. Cullen had met him over ten years ago at a lavish party, when he was very new to military intelligence and counterterrorism. Darby seemed like a real-life James Bond to him. Charming, debonair, classically handsome—all the things that Cullen was not.
He could convince a mute man to sing. He could learn any information in a matter of moments. He was better than Cullen in every way at his job, and even though he had retired from that game, Cullen still knew he was who to go to for help.
“A visit? Two mornings in a row?” he asked in his Australian-accented voice. “I don’t think any of your other long-lost siblings called.”
“No. I came to walk with you this morning. Do you mind?”
“Of course not. I was heading to my favorite trail.”
They headed out on the path behind Darby’s house. He’d picked this plot of land that backed up to the nature preserve. It was some of the most beautiful landscape in the world, but it wasn’t an easy hike. But for someone like Darby, who had grown up in rougher terrain in the outback, this was paradise.
“It’s humid as hell out here,” Cullen said to him. “I don’t know how you do this every day.”
“I spent nearly ten years in Eastern Europe. It was so cold there I thought my fingers were going to break off and fly away in the wind. This is beautiful weather. I’ll never leave here. Never.”
“Once you’re here, it’s hard to want to go back to another life.” He wasn’t looking forward to the day when he would have to send Wyn away, even though having her so close to him was complicating his life in a way that he had never imagined. But the thought of not being here with her weighed heavy on him. In the end, he had signed on to do what was best for Wyn. Not for himself.
“Why did you come to me, son? I know you weren’t aching to come walking with me when you have that beautiful girl waiting for you in your cottage.”
“I’m here about her.”
“Oh?” Darby raised a brow.
“I know I don’t have to ask for your discretion here. But I need you to do something for me and not tell anyone about it.”
“Of course.”
“It’s about Wynter’s father.”
“Warren Bates.”
Cullen stopped in his tracks. “You know?”
“I know you’re in serious trouble. You broke a cardinal rule. You’re never supposed to fall for your principal. You lose objectivity. You make mistakes. You do stupid things, like bring her to a place filled with former spies.”
“I know.” He wiped his hand over his now-damp face. “I’ve been with her for a year. No vacation days. No weekends. I told myself it was because her father was paying me loads of money, that she was easy to look after, but then I found myself finding excuses to see her when I knew she didn’t need me. I was fetching her damn tea in the mornings. I was Special Forces, for fuck’s sake. That is not what I do. But she makes me want to do things I have never wanted to do.”
“Clearly. I’m the last one who’ll pass judgment on you, son. But why did you bring her here? You could have gone anywhere.”
“To keep her safe. I knew she would be the safest with you lot. I also wanted you all to meet her. If you hated her, then I would know I was cracked.”
“You’re not cracked,” Darby said gently.
“I didn’t think I was.”
“What do you want to know about her father? He’s a billionaire and a politician. A man like that has many secrets.”
“Do the others know who Wyn is?”
“I don’t think so. They took her at face value. They trust you. Plus, they see how you look at her. What is there to question?”
He felt guilty, because even though Darby knew much more than anyone else, he still didn’t know everything. He didn’t know that they were pretending or supposed to be pretending. That they weren’t really a couple. He didn’t know that Cullen had never made love to her. He didn’t know he was still trying to not cross that final line and that when they left, she would go back to her life and he would try to forge a new one alone.
“How do you know about her?”
“Because unlike everyone else, I keep track of what’s going on everywhere. They are trying to hide from the world. I want to know everything about everyone in it. I saw her in the papers. There’s a good shot of you ushering her through a park.”
“Her father is a sneaky bastard. She’s his biological child. There was no adoption. No orphanage. He admitted that much to me, but he refuses to tell her. I know her birth mother worked for him, but I can’t find any records of his employees the year before Wynter was born. He had those files scrubbed. I have found records for every other year. His finances are clean. He doesn’t seem to be involved in any other illegal activities, but I can’t find any record of this woman.”
“Do you think she’s dead?”
“I don’t know. So far the only letters that have been released are from right around the time Wynter was born. She could be dead. He definitely kept her locked up. This was before he was trying to run for office. I keep asking myself why. There wouldn’t have been such a scandal. Mistresses have had babies before.”
“But he kept Wynter.” Darby’s expression turned thoughtful. “Have you ever considered that maybe he and his wife planned this? That they couldn’t make a baby together, so they got a child another way?”
“But they could have used a surrogate. IVF. They have money and with money comes choices. Kidnapping is too much. The author of those letters was clearly in love with Bates.”
“Maybe she was too in love. Maybe she was obsessed with him. Bates could have gotten rid of her to protect his family.”
Cullen nodded. “You could be right. I wish I could get Mrs. Bates in the room. I have a feeling she knows everything.”
“You think he’s told her everything?”
“Yes. He may have cheated on her, but I’ve seen them together. They are a united front. He wouldn’t be where he was without her.”
Darby made a soft noise. “This is a hell of a mystery.”
“Aye.”
“I’ll see what I can do. Give me a week. Maybe two.”
“Two weeks? You sure, old man?”
He nodded. “Gives me something to do.”
“You know if you ever need anything from me, Darby . . .”
“I know, son. But you gave me a lot when you invited me to come live here. No repayment needed.” Darby stopped to take a drink of water from his canteen. “I hope you don’t think you’re getting out of the rest of this hike with me. We’re just getting started.”
* * *
Wynter was usually up and out of the house before Cullen left his room. But that morning had been different. The house was empty when she arose. Cullen was nowhere to be found, so Wynter continued on with her morning as she normally did. Going up to the community house, making coffee and starting breakfast for whoever was around.
Cullen didn’t have to check in with her. He didn’t have to tell her where he was going. But it still didn’t stop her from wondering. For the past year, she had started her mornings with him every day. Back in Washington, he would be at her house by seven, dressed in all black, looking every inch of the bodyguard he was.
He would ask her what her plans were for the day and if there was anything she would like him to do for her. Then he would wait for her while she would finish getting ready, walk her to her car, his hand always gently resting on her back. He was her silent strength, her comfort. And now that she was here on this island, she could admit to herself that she used to miss his presence on the weekends
when he wasn’t with her the entire day. She could admit now that she never let him drive her, like she did with her other bodyguards, because she had been attracted to him all along and her body couldn’t handle his closeness.
He was a very large part of her life. They couldn’t go back to the way it was when this was over. They knew each other too well. He knew her shockingly well and now she knew him. She could read his moods, feel his hurt.
He thought they had gotten too close, but she still wanted to get closer. On the surface, she understood his hesitation. He took pride in his job. He followed the rules, but they couldn’t ever go back.
They couldn’t pretend that anything they did was professional anymore. Because it wasn’t. It was personal.
Maybe she could let it go if she knew he didn’t want her. But he did want her. She felt it in his kiss, the way he looked at her and the way he cared.
They were here in paradise. He could let go with no repercussions. No one would know what went on between them except them.
She had followed the rules her entire life. She had always been good. She had tried to be the perfect daughter, but that ended up getting her nowhere. This time she wanted to do something for herself. This time she wanted to feel good.
Cullen emerged around lunchtime, shirtless and sweaty. She was so busy looking at him that at first she hadn’t noticed that he was with Darby.
She had been with Jazz that morning, planning the little party they were going to have for his birthday. It was nice to see this side of Jazz. She was incredibly organized, but she was creative too. An artist. She had sketched out the patio and all the decorations. She had even colored it in, making the vision come to life.
She blushed when Wynter praised her work, embarrassed by the compliments. It made Wynter wonder if anyone had ever done that before. Jazz seemed to ooze confidence. She was highly trained, specially chosen to serve her country in a deeper way than most. How did she not know how special she was? Something had happened to her along the way. Something that had stripped all her confidence.
“Is that where you were?” Wynter stood up and walked over to Darby and Cullen as Jazz put the party plans away.