by A. J. Moran
Vee burst through the remaining crowd, about 5 minutes too late. “Tay, you okay? I heard what Sam did.” She ignored the guys better than I was able to and grabbed my arms pulling me into a hug. “I can’t believe she did that.”
“It is what I deserve,” I look at Vee through glassy eyes and will the stupid water works to go away for once.
“Yeah, probably,” she nods with a pained smile on her face. “But not by one of your best friends. Come on let’s get you out of here.”
Following her through the crowd it takes me a few minutes to realize that Wade and Marcus are still walking with us. “What do you want?”
“We need to talk.” Marcus leans down towards me a look I can’t read on his face.
“I don’t think we do.” A vise like grip clenches on my heart as the flash of an emotion I can’t read spreads across his handsome face.
“Now isn’t the time for this, Marcus.” Vee told him, “Can you get him out of here?” She looked over at Wade and to my surprise Wade moved forward to pull Marcus back. He whispered something in his ear and then with a nod and one last long look Marcus turned to follow him.
“How did that even work?” I watch as they walk back down the hall the way we had come.
Vee gave a noncommittal answer and then pulled me out to the parking lot to her car. “What do you want to do today?”
“Retail therapy?”
Chapter 44
Marcus
“It would be nice if you stopped pacing.” Wade slumped into the chair in the rec room. “I’m sure you will hear the door the moment it opens even if you aren’t driving me crazy with your constant movement.”
“She missed the whole school day.”
“Uh, I would have too.” He inspects his nails for dirt before looking back at me. “Look Marc, maybe doing what you did was a bad idea. Maybe you should give her some space.”
“We live in the same house,” I deadpan, “That is a little impossible.”
“Well, maybe—“
The click of the front door sounds and I am out of the room and into the foyer before the door is fully opened. The door swings wide and all I can see are bags and bags of clothing held in front of a laughing Taylor. Veronica follows her, with her arms filled with even more bags.
“Did you leave anything at the store?” Wade laughs coming into the foyer behind me. Of course he could find something to say while I probably stood here with my mouth hanging open. Her hair was different again. The red was gone and it was a deep black all the way through.
“I don’t think we left much behind,” Veronica chuckles her eyes sparkling with humor.
As Veronica’s laughter fades away a silence rings through the foyer and Taylor finally looks at me. “Are you okay?”
“You care?” She shoots back at me then takes the steps two at a time towards her room. Her bags slap at her legs angrily as she runs quickly up the stairs.
“Why do you always run away?” I call after her and I watch as she drops her bags on the landing and her spine straightens. Finally. A reaction. No more running away.
Taylor turns back towards me. Almost mirroring how she was the first time I saw her. A slightly haughty look on her face, but I can read through it this time, to the hurt just below the surface. “Who says I’m running away? Maybe you’re just below me.” She hisses the words like an injured cat.
Shaking my head I slowly walk up the steps toward her, “No, you are definitely running. You’ve been running so long you don’t even realize it anymore. I want to be here for you.”
“You?” She sputters a look of pure shock spreading across her face and replacing the false haughtiness she was showing before.
“Yes, me. I want to be here for you. I want to help you through this. I know I caused a lot of pain. Let me fix it.”
I watch as her mouth drops open and no words come out. She shakes her head at me wordlessly. “You’ve done enough.”
“I didn’t do this.” I motioned around us, gesturing at the house. It hadn’t been my choice to move here and fall for her. It hadn’t been her choice either. “How is it that you come from all this money and you never got therapy after your mom died?”
Those were not the words I had meant to say and I wanted to take them back at her wounded look. But they were out there now, and I couldn’t take them back.
“Now you are calling me crazy?” She yells. Her arms held defensively across her chest.
“No. That is not what I’m saying. Therapy isn’t just for crazy people you know.” I pause and drag my hand through my hair before rubbing at my neck, trying to find my next words. “It’s for sad people too.”
“I’m not depressed. I don’t need drugs to feel better.”
“I never said that. Those are your words. Therapy is about talking through your feelings. You need someone to talk to. You lost one of the most important people in your life. Then your dad moves on. You should be able to do that too.”
“Oh, yeah? Just move on? Just like that? It isn’t that easy!” She’s on the edge of her emotions and I felt like I was pushing her further than she was willing to go. The light glints off of her unshed tears and I feel like a jerk. Maybe she wasn’t ready. It wasn’t even what I wanted to talk to her about. I wanted to talk about us. Maybe there could be no us until she worked on herself first though.
“I—“ at the look on her face my words falter and stall, clogging my throat with what feels like a golf ball sized lump of emotion. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ll leave you alone.”
Taylor seemed to deflate and a deep pain flashed in her eyes so quickly I wasn’t sure I saw it. It made me want to reach out and stop her again as she turned around, grabbed her stuff off the floor, and headed to her room. Holding myself in place by sheer will I swallowed back the emotions that wanted to escape.
“Well, that went well.” Veronica moves past me still standing on the stairs, “We had a plan Marcus, you should have followed it.” With a shake of her head she follows Taylor into her room.
Guilt floods me and I glance down at Wade. He shakes his head at me and I shrug silently in reply. We had a plan and it did not include telling her to seek therapy. How stupid could I be? Just waltz into her life and turn it upside down, then tell her that she needs help. Right.
Chapter 45
Taylor
“Can you believe him?” I explode the second the door closes behind Vee. “He has some nerve.”
“I think he means well.”
My head snaps in her direction in shock. Did she really just defend him? Had I just entered the twilight zone? She was the second person that I trusted today to defend him.
“What?” The question stuttered out of me. I couldn’t have heard her right.
“I think he means well, Marcus, he seems sincere. I was there when he told our friends and he didn’t do it for the reasons you think he did it for.”
Shaking my head I start to pull out my purchases and fold them to keep myself from strangling my best friend. “I don’t think you know what he is really like. He can seem caring and nice and funny…” and amazing in every way, “but it’s all a lie.”
“Tay, he really isn’t all that bad.” Vee rests against my bed frame, her arms loosely crossed and her gaze fixed on me. “That is coming from me. You know your best friend that doesn’t fall for guys. He doesn’t hold that kind of sway over me.”
“Have you lost your mind?” Of course I knew he wasn’t that bad, not really, not the guy I got to know. But admitting that out loud wouldn’t turn out good. No, denying it all was for the best at this point.
A grin tugs at her lips and she tilts her head slightly, “That is besides the point. But I’m serious. Think about it, but try to give him a chance.”
Giving a non-committal response I grab the pile of folded clothing and take it into my closet. Was Vee right? Should I give him another chance to smash my heart into a million pieces? Was that even what she was talking about? “Vee, look,
there is too much between Marcus and me, too many lies to count. Even if I wanted to ‘give him a chance’ I am not sure it would work out. Besides, I doubt that is what he wants anyway. It’s probably just another one of his games.”
Vee gives me a look of doubt as I exit the closet. “Tay, I watched the way he kissed you yesterday at lunch. Someone that is playing a game would never be that soft. What does he have to do to prove it? Better yet, how can he prove it if you don’t let him?”
“Wait a minute… whose side are you on right now?”
With a sigh she pushes her hair behind her shoulder, “There aren't sides in this Taylor.”
I tried to make my mouth work, I really did, but all it seemed to want to do is fall open like it was a door without a hinge. Had she really just said that? Wow. There were sides. Very, very clear sides.
“Maybe you should go.”
“Tay, come on. You have to admit that he is the first one to reach you since your mom passed away. That means something. You haven’t been living. I’ve had to watch my best friend just go through the motions of life without actually participating. With him, you’ve finally come back to life. You didn’t die when your mom did, and I know without a doubt that your mom wouldn’t want you to stop living. Please just think about it.”
Biting my lips together I shook my head wordlessly as I blinked back the blurriness in my eyes. She silently picked up her purse and walked out of my room without a backwards glance. I tried to refuse her words, but a part of me recognized them as truth. Marcus had woken something up in me. There was something in him that I knew I had in me too. We were the same. Yet, we were so very different.
Vee had left my door wide open and Wade filled the doorway soon after she left. He leaned against it with one of his wide grins spreading across his face, like he found the whole situation funny.
“Glad you can laugh at all of this.” I sigh.
“Oh, no little sis, I don’t find any of this funny.” He pushes away from the door frame and makes his way over to my bed with his long lanky stride, taking up the same spot Vee had just been leaning against.
“Are you here to tell me to give Marcus a chance and to tell me I need help?”
“Um, no.” He cocks an eyebrow at me. “I know what a jackass my brother can be. And when he allows himself to fall for someone he becomes an even bigger one, because he just doesn’t think things through.”
Wait. What? Fall for someone? He had to be joking. Yet, my heart picked up its pace and attempted to break through my rib-cage.
“Ha, ha, not funny.” I cross my arms over my chest and try to act like my palms are not sweating and that I can’t feel the butterflies in my stomach flying around.
He glances up at me with a smirk on his face. “You think I’m joking? Do you seriously think he would go to the lengths he has just to humiliate you? He might have fooled himself into thinking that was the goal, but I’m sure that it didn’t last that long after he realized what could be. Why do you think he was trying to get you to wait to break it off with him?”
Marcus had tried to stop me a few times. And he had acted so caring that I forgot we were supposed to be pretending. Letting this little ray of hope grow was going to be the biggest mistake of my life, but I couldn’t stop it from taking root and expanding at his words. The kiss that Vee brought up was fresh in my mind and I looked at my open door hoping for the impossible.
“I—I’m not sure.” I admit.
Wade snorts and shakes his head at me in mock disappointment. “You know for someone so smart you sure don’t read the signs very well. My brother is falling hard and you’ve just ripped the safety net out from beneath him. It’s a shame.” He tisks at me with a slight smirk that says he really doesn’t think it is a shame at all.
“Then why do you seem happy about that?”
“This?” He points at his now full grin, “This isn’t happiness.”
I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up at his response. “Then what is it?”
“Enough about me, let’s talk about you.” He waves off my question, his eyes glowing with his humor. “Do you like him?”
“Marcus?”
“Uh, who else would I be talking about?”
With a quick look at the door I rushed over to it to close it after checking that Marcus wasn’t listening in the hallway and that this wasn’t just some big prank. The hall is blessedly empty.
“Is that a yes?” He raises an eyebrow as I turn back around to face him leaning against the door. “Or did you just want me alone?”
“It is neither.” I cross my arms over my chest and stay where I am. Wade stands up and stretches the grin still covering his face.
“Okay sis. We will have it your way,” he pauses, “for now.”
Wade picks up one of my makeup brushes and fluffs it across his hand and then puts it back down and picks up my eyelash curler. Opening and closing it he looks over at me again and I sigh. “What do you want?”
“Why do girls use this torture device?” He looks down at the eyelash curler and opens and closes it once again. “Aren’t you afraid of getting your eyelid?”
Striding over to him I snatch the curler out of his hand and put it back down. “I know you aren’t in here to talk about my make up and I really don’t want to talk about the reason you are really here. So how about you go?” And for the second time in five minutes I am asking someone that wants to help to leave me alone. That is fabulous.
“I really just came to tell you that if you needed someone to just be a friend, I’m that guy.” He shrugs and looks down. “I know Marc can be an ass and I really don’t want to make excuses for it, but he makes some valid points. You know, sometimes.” He looks back up at me and there is something in his eyes that says he understands the conflicted feelings I had.
“Thanks.” I smile. Not that I would take him up on it, but it was still nice.
Chapter 46
Taylor
A week had passed since I had become part of the biggest scandal my school had seen in recent years. Slowly my life was returning to normal. Well, as normal as it could be after dropping a bomb on it. Avoiding Marcus had become easier, although I was almost positive that he was letting me avoid him. I had hoped that my feelings would fade, but they had seemed to only grow stronger.
My friendship with Quentin and Vee had seemed to stay on track and mend anything that had felt broken before. Which was good. Neither of them mentioned Marcus nor Wade living with me or my fake dating, but real falling for Marcus. I was thankful for that.
I missed Marcus. Sure I saw him every morning and worked next to him in Chemistry but it wasn’t the same. He was silent and withdrawn all the time, like he was right now. Risking a glance I look over at him from the corner of my eye and he is clearly paying attention to our teacher and taking notes I probably should be taking. Holding in a deep sigh that wanted to escape I moved my pen absently over my notebook making little doodles of flowers and hearts.
Then of course there was Samantha. She had tried to talk to me. To apologize for broadcasting my business for the whole school, but she claims she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be a journalist, and ‘someone’ was going to tell the story. Which was probably true, but it shouldn’t have been her.
It hurt.
Honestly, I was just sick of feeling like my life was a mess.
It took almost a week but I did the one thing I said that I was never going to do. I made an appointment with a therapist. My first one was right after school and I was having a hard time concentrating on anything, especially with Marcus sitting next to me, and Samantha sitting across from me. Could it be any more uncomfortable?
When the bell sounded I grabbed up my stuff and hurried after Marcus, trying to find the courage to tell him what I had done.
“Hey—“ I called out to him and watched, as his shoulders seemed to turn to stone before he turned back toward me with a questioning look on his face. I pushed a stray hair behind my ear
and sucked my bottom lip into my mouth biting on it. “I—uh, I just, um, can I borrow your notes later?”
Lame.
His eyebrows shot up into his hairline in surprise at my words, they were obviously not what he was expecting either, but he covered his shock quickly and nodded before replying. “Yeah, of course. Anytime.”
Awkward and lame, go me.
“Right. Uh, so I guess I’ll see you later.” I shrugged and backed up slightly before turning and hurrying down the hall away from him and the very awkward conversation.
◆◆◆
A small older woman with silver hair opened one of the three doors in the little waiting room and looked directly at me over her reading glasses. “Taylor Hale?” She glances down to the clipboard in her hand.
“That’s me.” I reply with as much cheer as I can force into my words. Standing up I brush my hands nervously on my jeans and I walk slowly over to the woman and extend my hand for a quick hello.
“Taylor, it is so nice to meet you. You can call me Liz.” She clasps my hand inside her tiny ones and a genuine smile curves her lips, deepening the smile lines from her many years of doing it. “Come in.”
With a gesture to the room behind her she motions me into the cozy little room. It holds a bright yellow, small loveseat; a teal little reading chair, a dark cherry wood desk, and a matching bookshelf filled with self-help books. A few candles and other decorations are scattered artfully around the warm room. A big picture window lets in the bright fall sun and casts warm shadows on the floor. I feel at home almost immediately.
The nerves in my stomach continue to jump around as I take in the room and decide to perch on the left side of the love seat. Grabbing one of the pillows I wrap my arms around it and watch as Liz takes a seat near the desk and clasp her notepad in her lap loosely.
“So, what brings you to see me?”