Addy joined her. ‘Thoughts?’
‘I have class—’
The group drowned the rest of her excuse with boo’s, pleading with her to come to the next spot. They booed even louder when Addy waved them away, but eventually the group stumbled down the footpath, leaving them in search of another warm place to waste some time.
Side by side, Lori and Addy watched them until they’d turned the corner, their noise fading. Lori twisted, bumping her elbow to get Addy’s attention. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go with them?’
Silent, Addy stepped closer. She lifted her hand, fingers brushing along Lori’s jaw, pushing the collar of her jacket back and letting in the cold air. Lori froze, wondering what she was about to do, and if she should stop her. But Addy pressed a fingertip to Lori’s neck, pulling it back with a star of bright blue confetti stuck to it. ‘Gonna be finding these little fuckers for days.’
A point of cold lingered on her skin and Lori rubbed it away, forgetting that she’d been about ready to go home. ‘What now?’
Addy shrugged and stepped backwards, tugging Lori along with her. ‘See what happens?’
It was either habit or gravitational pull, but they ended up turning towards the university, taking the long way, winding through the campus. They stopped at a notice board, the corners of flyers curling up, revealing the mess of layers underneath. Lori checked the one she’d put up about the missing kid, smoothing it and replacing a lost pin. She made a note to check the others tomorrow.
‘Has there been any news?’ Addy stood by her side, eyes glued to the photo of the boy.
‘Not yet.’
They scanned the other notices. Addy pointed out a handwritten flyer warning about the large panther on the mountain attacking hikers. ‘Ever seen it?’
Lori knew the flyer was only a joke, the locals playing with the gullible students who didn’t grow up there. The panther was an old legend, grown over time and passed down over generations of locals to scare out-of-towners. No one in town believed it was real. Attacks usually proved to be the work of wild dogs, or faked for publicity. Sightings were laughed off, now just an old drunk’s story told to anyone who’d sit and listen for long enough. The only photos were blurry or had a skewed perspective that made it hard to gauge the true size of the animal in it.
But Addy insisted it was real.
‘You grew up here, right?’ Addy nodded and Lori continued, ‘Well, so did I. I also have a few years on you. And I can tell you for sure that that thing is not real.’
They stood in the cold, laughing as they argued; Lori blowing down every story offered as evidence; Addy remaining adamant, swearing that she could prove it was real.
Addy gave up trying to talk Lori into believing, instead leading her back the way they’d come. Lori hesitated and then hurried to catch up. ‘Where are we going?’
‘How’re your legs?’
‘They’re fine. Why?’
Addy just smiled and told her to keep up.
17
THEY DIDN’T FOLLOW a trail, instead taking a shortcut straight up the slope of the hill. Their elbows bumped as they walked side by side, squeezing through gaps in the brush that weren’t quite big enough for two.
Strange shadows fell around them, the light of the moon straining out from behind a haze of dirty clouds that had hung around all afternoon. Still, there was no snow. Just cold.
Weaving through the trees, Lori mused that they could be lost, but Addy seemed to know where they were going. ‘What are the chances you’re just luring me out here to string me up in some tree and leave me to freeze to death?’ Lori hoped it sounded like the joke she’d meant it to be.
Addy laughed. ‘What kind of twisted logic made you come up with that idea?’
‘Just—nothing…’ Lori dropped back as the trodden down animal track they’d been following thinned to a crease between the trees.
Addy spoke over her shoulder, eyes sweeping the ground. ‘Whatever Coach has told you, it’s not true… I know what people say about me.’
‘Em didn’t—’ Lori didn’t finish. It already sounded like a lie. ‘Why do you let them say it, let them think you’re—’
‘Why should I care what people think?’ Addy interrupted, her voice devoid of emotion.
They walked on in silence, just their footsteps and the occasional call of an owl, distant in the dark.
‘Can I ask you something?’
Addy sighed, her pace not slacking for a second. ‘Sure.’
The repeated emptiness in that single syllable caused Lori to hesitate. But she had to know. ‘Why is it that even the people who’ve known you forever still see you as the angry, smart, off-the-rails kid you used to be?’
Addy stopped so suddenly it almost knocked Lori off balance. She stopped too. A gap in the trees made space for a beam of moonlight to fall over them, framing them.
‘What do you mean?’
Lori could tell the frown of confusion Addy held on to was forced, but she explained anyway. ‘The way they all talked back there, the kid they described… that’s not who you are, not anymore.’
‘You really think so?’
‘I do.’
Addy snorted, broke free of the moonlight and walked on.
‘You’re a lot alike, you know.’ Lori yelled after her, not ready to move.
‘Who?’
If Lori didn’t catch up, she’d get left behind and be lost out there. She scrambled along a ridge of loose dirt, using tree branches and bare roots to pull herself up. ‘You and Em.’
‘I am not like Coach. No way.’ But curiosity won out because after a moment Addy stopped again. ‘How? How are we alike?’
This time Lori kept walking, taking the lead and talking over her shoulder. ‘You’re both tough-shelled, brave faces to the world. You don’t mind people thinking you’re a bitch or a little unhinged, but deep down you have a real heart. In the right circumstances, you let yourself show it. Especially around the people you care about. You’d do anything for them.’
‘What makes you think I’d do anything for anyone?’
Lori stopped, towering over Addy from the higher ground. She turned the tables and instead of answering, she asked, ‘Why did you come to the clinic? Why did you stick around and help? Why did you spend the day with Jeremy, the loner of the class, with no tears, no mean comments, all smiles?’
‘What makes you so sure I didn’t have an ulterior motive?’ Addy made a face up at Lori, gently pushing her out of the way so she could step up onto the ledge beside her. So close, the smallest step and their lips would touch. But Addy stepped back. ‘What seemingly pure hearted, unselfish thing did Coach do for you?’
‘Em helped me a long time ago, when the people who were supposed to look after me didn’t. She’s been there for me ever since. Everything I have is because of her.’
Something still held Lori back from telling Addy the whole story; the same something that stopped her every time she was pushed to open up about her past.
Once people knew she was a runaway kid, they looked at her differently. It was like she suddenly became a different person, all because she used to huddle in doorways while they laid on couches, watching cartoons and eating cereal.
‘Does it have anything to do with why you care so much about the clinic and those kids?’ Addy had joined the dots, anyway.
Lori gave a dismissive smile, answering without really answering. They walked on in silence until they reached the top, climbing up the final stretch of brush and over a low stone wall.
Lori was out of breath and the mix of warm exhaustion and cold air had sunk in, buzzing through her body in a strange exhilaration as Addy turned her around, pointing out at the view below.
18
LORI HADN’T BEEN up to the observation point since before they’d moved it over slightly to match the centre of the growing town.
It was much the same as the old one, but everything was shiny and new, untouched by the graffiti
and the grime that would come when the weather warmed.
The lights, tall and bent, threw a yellow sheen over the concrete and the pair of mounted binoculars that swivelled and magnified the view out across the town to the mountains surrounding it.
When Lori was younger, the observation point was the place teenagers used to hang out on Friday nights that morphed into Saturday mornings. It was the place where spring flings began, and then as the season changed it turned into the place where summer dates took place. Lori wondered if the tradition had carried on through the years and a new generation of teenagers still spent their weekends up there.
Lost in memory, she noticed Addy staring at her, her face lit by the moon. ‘What're we doing up here? It's fucking freezing.’
‘What does anyone come up here for?’
Lori played innocent. ‘The view?’ But Addy just gave her a look.
Truth was, no one went up there in winter, especially not in the dark and the cold. Lori was about to suggest they head back down, but Addy interrupted, ‘Relax. I told you I could prove the panther isn’t a myth.’ Her arms lifted out from her sides like a curtain lifting in the breeze, innocent. ‘So that’s what we’re doing up here.’
‘You’re serious? I thought you were joking.’
‘Nope.’
‘How do you know it’ll be here?’
‘We’re all creatures of habit. Lucky for us it wasn’t scared away when all the guys were up here building this place.’ Addy turned her back on the view of the city lights and wandered over to a gap in the dark tangle of trees. ‘Dad was a park ranger. I used to go with him on weekends and we’d track the panther. Once we’d found the trails, it was easy to know where it’d be and when.’
An overgrown track took them a little further around the side of the mountain to where the old observation point had been. Vines and creepers covered the old wall, the stones crumbling in places. Cracks spread across the concreted ground. There was scattered ash and the charred remains of a campfire in the middle. The wind had blown rubbish around and piled it against the base of the wall, and in the corner there was a shopping trolley, of all things. How someone had gotten it all the way up there, through the trees and thick undergrowth, Lori couldn’t comprehend.
‘Over here. Quick.’ Addy was standing by a gap in the wall.
‘Okay, okay.’ Lori walked over. ‘So what now?’
‘We wait.’
They settled in the gap, faces in shadow, huddled close against the cold, whispering. The whole time Lori was aware that the little hedge on the outer side of the wall would be the only thing stopping her from a fifty-foot drop into rocks and rubble at the slightest wrong move.
19
IT FELT LIKE they’d been waiting for hours.
‘This is insa—’
‘Shh.’ Addy held a finger to her lips then pointed at nothing in particular.
Or at least Lori thought it was nothing, until she heard a branch crack, and a moment later the rustle and scrape of something moving through the close knit branches. A shadow shimmered through the moonlit trees near the track they’d walked in on.
Instinct and curiosity made Lori stand up, but before she could get past a crouch Addy grabbed her arm and pulled her back down, Lori almost falling on top of her. Their tangled arms stopped Lori from losing her balance when her heel slipped off the edge of the concrete, letting loose a shower of rubble that rumbled and doubled in the dark.
They froze. Addy squeezed Lori’s hand, nails almost digging in, as they waited for the noise to stop. Even the shadow in the trees stood still, solid black, but its edges blurred against the background. Lori forgot how to breathe. Whether it was her proximity to Addy or the black shadow, she wasn’t sure. Maybe both.
There was nothing else to do but sit still and wait. So they did, and eventually the black shadow moved again, coming closer.
Addy squeezed Lori’s hand, whispering, ‘There she is.’
A low figure slunk out of the trees, cutting across the concrete. Lori couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The moonlight turned the big cat silver, haunches tucked slightly and big feet padding along, swatting at the ground. It nosed through the rubbish, and then sniffed the trolley, making the metal rungs sing as it rubbed against it. It squeezed through another gap in the wall, jumped and balanced its way down the cliff to a little ledge, and then it was gone, disappearing into the dark.
‘Holy shit, it’s real.’ Lori’s words ran together as she scrambled up out of their hidey-hole, peering over the wall to see if she could catch another glimpse. ‘Why hasn’t your dad told the National Park people, shown them it’s real?’
‘What, so people can hunt her? Shoot her and stuff her and mount her on a wall in some beer-stinking pub? No way.’ Addy was over by the trolley, running a fingertip along the shiny metal.
Lori tested the wall to make sure it wouldn’t give way under her weight and then pulled herself up to sit with her back to the town. ‘I get it but… if she’s real then the stories, the attacks—’
‘The sightings may be real, but one thing for sure isn’t true, and that’s the attacks. You saw it. She’s more likely to hide than attack. Unless provoked. And then, even if she did, can’t say I’d blame her.’ Addy wandered as she spoke, arms crossed, either in defence of the cat or against the cold. ‘Promise me you won’t tell anyone?’
Lori stared at Addy, paled under the moonlight, her outline glowing against the dark trees behind. ‘I promise. So what now? I mean, anything we do is gonna seem lame after finding out that something you thought your whole life wasn’t real, actually is—’
It took two quick steps for Addy to close the gap between them. Aware of the sheer drop behind her and the slippery slope down to the bottom, Lori was caught between her conscious telling her not to let it go any further and the thrill of fingertips tracing over her neck, tingling in the cold air.
‘This is a bad idea.’ Even as she spoke, Lori slid forward, led by the command of Addy’s hands running along her thighs, sliding down behind her knees and lifting her slightly. The movement took her breath away; a little further and she would have tumbled backwards. It was reflex that made her wrap her legs around Addy’s waist, gripping her by the shirt to keep her balance.
So much for boundaries, Lori thought. Moonlight filled the sliver of space between their bodies, lighting the steam of their hurried breathing, glinting across the side of Addy’s face. Her eyes locked Lori in, dark pools that made her feel like she was falling forward.
‘Still think it’s a bad idea?’ Addy leaned in, her lips brushing along Lori’s jaw.
Despite every thought telling her to stop, every fibre in Lori’s body burned. A finger lifted her chin, baring her neck, guiding her. Their lips almost touched, the smallest movement pulling Lori forward to chase a kiss, uncertain whether she should give in, disappointed when Addy lingered and then pulled back.
Addy took Lori’s hands and placed them on the wall, taking over as she roamed from button to button on Lori’s jacket and shirt. Each one snapped open, the cold air seeping in and stealing her breath.
Lori tightened her grip on the wall, then loosened it, searching for the hem of Addy’s shirt, sliding under. Her fingers brushed across Addy’s warm quivering skin, tight over her hip, the divot of her belly button, rippling over her ribs and butting up against the rough lace of her bra. But again Addy took her by the wrist, putting both hands back on the wall and pinning them with her own.
Addy leaned in, but this time, Lori pulled back. ‘Addy. We shouldn’t.’
For a moment neither moved, and then Addy gripped the lapels of Lori’s jacket and peeled it down her shoulders, leaving it at her elbows and making it impossible for Lori to move her arms.
Lori shivered as Addy’s lips moved across her neck, wet and cold, leaving a trail of goosebumps that quickly spread. Her skin felt on fire as cold fingers dipped slowly into her waistband, nails dragging back up to her stomach. The quickest movement and
Addy had Lori’s bra undone, pushing it up to run her thumb across the soft skin beneath her nipple, touching her everywhere but, and almost sending her over the edge.
Lori’s breath came in haggard gasps. She tried to lift her hand, wanting Addy to stop, to keep going, to feel her lips pressed against hers, to taste her, breathe her in. But Lori had forgotten the jacket pinning her arms to her sides. She nearly knocked herself backward off the wall in her struggle, but Addy caught her, almost lifting her off the wall. Lori doubled the grip of her legs around Addy’s waist.
‘Don’t…’ It was all Lori could manage.
‘Don’t what?’ Addy’s voice was close to her ear, her breath tickling the skin beneath.
Lori shook out of her jacket, freeing her arms. With one hand she grabbed a handful of Addy’s shirt, her other hand finding Addy’s face, holding her by the chin.
‘Don’t tease.’
She took Addy’s bottom lip between her teeth, tugging it gently before letting go, pressing her lips in their place. Addy’s tongue parted her lips, exploring at the same time as her hand slowly wandered down, fingers tracing along the top of her jeans. All thought evaporated as her hand slipped under. With their lips pressed together, Lori’s mouth opened in a gasp at Addy’s touch, her mind sinking into black and blank.
20
A GOLDEN POINT of light pierced through the window, waking Lori up. Condensation covered the glass, fat drips running down the pane. She scanned the unfamiliar room, her eyes half closed, peeking out from the edge of the single bed she was squeezed onto, held there under a nest of blankets.
Overheated and hungover, her tongue like sandpaper, her eyes gritty, her head heavy. It took a few minutes and a teary yawn for her brain to realise she was awake. She tried to move but was weighed down, stuck. After a quick feel and search, she found it wasn’t the blankets, but an elbow draped over her ribs, Addy’s arm reaching over and holding her tightly in place, fingers curled into the nape of Lori’s neck.
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