Ice just stared at me a moment and then looked over at Chris who just shrugged. When Ice sat down, Chris looked over at me, barely containing the chuckle on his lips.
“Now, I’ve reformed the teams for now. Most of you will be reassigned to new teams during this transition period.”
“Hold on a minute,” Jules fumed. “You can’t just split up the teams even further.”
“I can and I will. Knight and I have talked about this and we feel it’s best for everyone to mix things up a bit. We all need to work more cohesively, and the best way to do that is for each of us to learn each other’s strengths and then apply it in the field.”
“Yeah, but to break up teams when it isn’t necessary-”
“It is necessary,” I told Alec. “Trust me, you and Florrie need the break. From what I gather, you seem to be making decisions for your team based on your relationship with Florrie, and that can’t happen. You need to get back in the mindset that we all have a job to do and you need to trust your teammates to get the job done.”
Alec glared at me, but Florrie looked quite happy about the whole thing, which meant that this was something that was really weighing on her.
“Training begins after this meeting. After I call out your teams, head to the training center and start doing drills together. Knight will hand out schedules to all of you. We need to be back in the field in two weeks. Any teams that aren’t in shape by then will sit on the sidelines until Knight says you’re ready.”
A nod from Knight told me he was prepared for the chaos that laid ahead.
“Team One: Cazzo, Alec, and Jules. Team Two: Sinner, Florrie, and Gabe. Team Three: Derek, Storm, and Jackson. Team Four: Chris, Craig, and Rocco. Anyone not on those teams will continue with your training separately with Knight until you’re ready to rejoin your team.”
“Hang on,” Storm spoke up. “I’m not part of Reed Security.”
“Are you staying here?”
“Yes, but-”
“Do you have somewhere else to be?”
“No, but-”
“Are you capable of holding a fucking gun and doing the job?”
“Yes,” he said begrudgingly.
“Then you’re on the fucking team until I say otherwise. Now, does anyone else have any complaints, or can we get some fucking work done?”
Nobody said anything, but I knew they were all a little pissed. Good. It was what they needed.
“John Peters!” Lindsey yelled as she walked into the room. “Do you want to tell me what the fuck this is about?”
“What are you talking about?” Ice asked, standing back up.
“Did we or did we not just have a kid three months ago?”
“Uh…is this a trick question?” She glared at him and I was fucking confused too. What the hell was she getting at? “Yes, Lindsey, we just had a kid.”
“Then, do you want to tell me why the fuck I was just staring at a positive pregnancy test?”
Ice burst out laughing for just a split second before he glanced around the room in panic and then his eyes rolled back in his head and he dropped to the floor like a sack of hot potatoes. I rushed over to him and slapped him on the face, but he was out cold.
I looked up at Chris who was leaning down beside me and grinning down at Ice. “I think we might have pushed him over the edge.”
Chris’s shoulders were shaking with laughter, but I wasn’t sure what was so fucking funny. “I was just telling him the other day that I was lucky that Elizabeth is older, that I didn’t have to worry about diapers. I think Ice just saw the next five years flash before his eyes.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Chris
I walked in the door and Ali came running up to me, screaming and wrapping her whole body around mine. “Oh my gosh! You’re not going to believe it.”
“I don’t. What’s going on?”
“Axel called. He’s coming home for the week!”
A grin split my face so wide that I thought it would rip in two. I hadn’t seen my son in over a year and I fucking missed him like crazy. The only hard part was that every time he came home, he was just a little bit quieter and a little bit sadder looking. It happened to most of us that served overseas, but I hated to see that look on my kid’s face. That far off look he got from time to time when he was remembering something really bad brought home so many reminders of how Ali used to look from time to time when I first brought her home.
“Elizabeth is so excited to see her big brother. The only reason she remembers him is because of all the pictures I show her.”
“I wish that we had all had more time together,” I said as I stared into my woman’s eyes. “Do you ever think about what it would have been like if…if we hadn’t been separated?”
She didn’t bother to correct me, to tell me that I had left her. We both knew it was true and I was a fucking coward for not being able to tell her that. But somehow, she never did blame me.
“There’s no point, Chris. What happened is in the past.”
“I know, but think about how Elizabeth would have been closer to Axel in age or-”
“Chris, that’s not how it works. What if we had stayed together? You don’t know that we would have even had Elizabeth. What if we couldn’t stay together? We were young. You might not have joined the military and you wouldn’t be with all these people now that are pretty much your family. So many things could be different today, but maybe not for the better.”
“And what about you? Are you happy?”
I prayed to God that she said yes. I didn’t think I could take it if she was unhappy. I lived to make sure this woman had everything she needed.
“Well, I did have to go on the run with this really hot guy,” she smiled at me, running her hands up my chest.
“And you had to leave your job,” I pointed out.
“I chose to think of it as an extended vacation. Besides, there was plenty to do over the last year with all you guys.”
“I just want you to be happy. I don’t give a shit if you’re working or putting out more babies or just lounging around the house-”
“Whoa, back up there, big boy. There will be no more babies exiting this tunnel.”
“Why not? Ice is having another kid.”
“What? Lindsey’s pregnant again?”
“Yeah,” I grinned. “She just told him today. The fucker passed out on the floor.”
“I think I would too if I was pregnant.”
I snagged her around the waist and pulled her in close to me. “You know I don’t care either way, but why are you so adamant that you’re done?”
“Because I want to live life for me now. The first fifteen years of Axel’s life were all about staying alive. Then we had this small time together, but Axel was training all the time with you. And I’m so proud of him. He did exactly what he wanted and that wouldn’t have happened without you. But then we had Elizabeth and she’s three. We’re done with diapers. She’s pretty independent already, so I feel like I finally have some freedom. I just want the rest of my life to not totally revolve around the day to day care of an infant. Elizabeth is going to be hard enough. You know she’s already acting like she’s sixteen. The other day, I caught her rolling her eyes at me.”
“Babe, I hate to break it to you, but the only one that rolls her eyes around here is you.”
“Are you suggesting that she picks up bad habits from me?”
“Well, as I recall, she’s also started throwing her hand on her hip when she’s mad. I sure as hell don’t do that.”
“Alright, I’ll give you that one, but Axel is one hundred percent you.”
“And thank God for that. Could you imagine what we would be facing if he was rolling his eyes and strutting as he walked down the street? Besides, if he wasn’t like me, I wouldn’t be able to use him when he comes home.”
“Whoa, what are you talking about? There will be no using our son.”
“Sorry, it’s gotta be done. Ice needs
a kick in the ass and he’s the perfect guy for the job.”
She stared at me in horror. “You’re going to have Axel beat up John? Chris, that’s not fair. John is twice his age. He’ll get squashed like a bug.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, flipping the brim of my hat up just a little. “Are you saying that I’m old and my kid could kick my ass?”
“What?” She laughed and shook her head. “No, that wasn’t at all what I was saying.”
“Because I could take him. I would put him in the ring and take him and all his SEAL buddies down in five seconds flat.”
She snorted and covered her mouth quickly. “I know you would, sweetie.”
“Hey, don’t do that shit with me,” I said, pointing my finger at her. “Don’t give me that ‘sweetie’ crap. I know what you’re doing.”
“I’m not doing anything,” she said innocently.
“Yes, you are and you know it.”
She turned and ran for the stairs, but I was still faster. Old, my ass. I could still catch her. Maybe not my son, but her, I could still catch her and I would show her just how quick I still was.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Chance
I pounded the bag, not wanting to fight anyone right now. If I did, it was very possible I might kill someone. The flashbacks were getting worse. They were mostly of me having the shit beat out of me by the guards, being unable to fight back. Most of the time, I was unable to fight back because of my mission, getting Payton back. But there were other times, times when I wasn’t strong enough. Times when I was already too beat down and too weak to fight. Those were the times that really fucked with my head.
“Chance, in the ring. Now.”
“Fuck off,” I said, never taking my eyes off the bag.
“I said, get in the fucking ring.”
“And I told you to fuck off.”
I swung again, never missing a chance to beat the shit out of the bag. I wasn’t being calculating with my moves. I was simply here to let off some steam and wear myself down. Knight grabbed me from behind and spun me around, punching me once in the stomach.
“That wasn’t a suggestion.” He leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “You want to prove to them that you’re okay? Get in the fucking ring and start working out that aggression. Because if you don’t, they’re gonna keep you out of the field, and those demons that you’re fighting are only gonna get worse.”
I shook him off and wiped the sweat from my forehead. Flashes forced their way into my mind and I fought them away, but it wasn’t enough. I headed for the ring and took a step inside.
I loosened up and started out at an easy pace with Knight, but he started fucking taunting me. I knew he was trying to get me to come out swinging, so I hung back. But he just kept pushing harder and harder. It was his job, but I didn’t want to play by his rules right now. I bounced around the ring, wearing him out by avoiding his hits. I was making him work for it. He faked a hit to the jaw and then grabbed my arm, extending it painfully as he swung around behind me and wrapped me in a choke hold.
My body jerked as the stool was kicked out from under my feet. The rope was strangling the life out of me and the black spots in front of me mocked me, telling me that I didn’t have any fucking say if I lived or died. I tried not to struggle, straightening my arms and clenching my fists tight to try and hold myself rigid. The more I struggled, the less of a chance there was that I would conserve my oxygen. Darkness took over my body as my eyes fluttered closed, but I wasn’t ready to give in just yet.
Suddenly, my bonds were gone and I flung my elbow back into the man that was standing behind me with the stool. The rope was gone from my neck and I could breathe again. I charged the first man by me and took him down to the ground, pounding his face until it was a bloody mess. Another guy pulled me off and tried to get me locked down, but I escaped him too, only this time, I grabbed his gun. Six men surrounded me, each moving slowly around me like I was a caged lion. They had no fucking clue. Just one move and I would pull the trigger.
Off to my right, movement caught my attention and I quickly swung my aim in his direction, firing my gun just once and hitting him in the chest. He fell to the ground, gasping for breath and pressing down on his wound. Another man tackled me from behind, knocking the gun from my grip. I flung the man off of me, giving him a swift boot to the stomach as I flung him around. His groans didn’t dissuade me, if anything, they urged me on. There was only one thing to do right now. Kill to survive.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Gabe
“I haven’t seen Chance in the ring in weeks,” I said to Jackson as we walked across the training center. “He’s been avoiding the ring like it’s the plague.”
“If I had to guess, he’s worried that he’s gonna have a flashback and it’s gonna send him into a tailspin.”
We stood outside the ring and watched as Knight and Chance started boxing. At first, it was just some light jabs here and there, but I could tell that Chance was getting angrier the more he fought.
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea for him. He doesn’t seem to be blowing off steam. He looks like he wants to fucking kill someone.”
“Yeah, I’ll let you tell him that,” Jackson retorted. Fifteen minutes in, both men were sweaty and fighting harder than we usually do in the ring. After grabbing Chance’s arm and extending it, Knight swung around behind him and wrapped him in a headlock. Something flashed in Chance’s eyes and everything changed. He swung his elbow back, digging it into Knight’s stomach.
Knight moved, but just barely, still catching the brunt of the blow. He released Chance and prepared for the next attack, but Chance turned away and flung himself over the ropes of the ring, landing on Craig, who had just walked up to watch them spar. Taken by surprise, Craig didn’t put up much of a fight, until the third swing. Jackson and I raced around the ring to intervene, but Craig’s face was already bloody by the time we got there.
Jackson ripped him off, but Chance had too much adrenaline coursing through him. He flung Jackson backward just as I reached for Chance. I got my arms around him and I was holding him as tight as I could, my arms wrapped across his chest. I couldn’t hold him. He was too strong at the moment, like he was on steroids or something. A hard shot to the nuts and then a fist to the throat dropped me to my knees, sucking in harsh breaths. He hadn’t hit my windpipe directly, but close enough to make breathing nearly impossible.
A gun shot rang out and I shot to my feet just as Cazzo fell to the ground, holding his chest. Shit! I got up and raced back into the thick of things. Everyone had their weapons pulled and they were all pointed at Chance. This was fucking wrong.
“Put your goddamn guns down!” I shouted.
More people had poured into the training center and everyone was staring at Chance like he was an explosive device. I held up my hands as he swung the gun around, trying to decide who the next target was.
I took a small step forward. “Chance, it’s Gabe. Just put the gun down. No one’s going to hurt you.”
But he couldn’t hear me and nobody had put their fucking guns down yet.
“Put your fucking guns down,” I said behind me. “You’re making this worse.”
“He’s the one attacking everyone,” Alec pointed out.
“He’s caught up in a flashback. Everyone get the fuck out of here.”
“No way,” Jackson said, wiping the blood from his face. “I’m not leaving you here with him.”
I saw Knight crouched down out of sight. He had a tranq gun in his hand and he nodded at me, letting me know that he would be here if I needed him.
“It’s fine,” I said to Jackson. “Just get everyone out of here.”
Everyone started backing off, but I knew they didn’t want to. Burg and Sinner helped Cazzo stand and walk off. Cazzo waved at me, letting me know the bullet had hit his vest and he was fine. When the last person cleared the room, Chance finally looked at me, his eyes searching for weapons.
“I�
�ve got nothing on me,” I said calmly. He swung the gun around the room, doing a final check before he finally started to loosen his grip on the gun. “Chance, you’re not there anymore. You’re at Reed Security.”
Panic flashed in his eyes and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead. The gun fell to the ground just as he bent over and wretched all over the floor. I nodded to Knight and he slowly backed out of the room, giving me some space with Chance. Fuck, I wasn’t a therapist. I didn’t know where to go from here. Was I supposed to tell him to get help or was I supposed to reassure him he was fine? I was fucking terrified of doing the wrong thing and having something like this happen again.
I bent down next to him and rested my hand on his back. “Chance, it’s fine, man.”
“It’s not fine. I was holding a gun on you. I shot…” He choked back his words as he looked over to where Cazzo had been lying on the ground.
“He was wearing a vest. He’s fine. I’m sure he’s gonna want to shoot you in the vest as payback, but he’s fine. And out of everyone, Cazzo understands.”
He flopped back on his ass and hung his head between his hands, gripping his hair tightly. “What the fuck do I do?”
“That’s up to you. No one can make you get help, but I think you need to try something.”
“Cap wants me to see a therapist.”
“He makes everyone see one after something traumatic.”
“I can’t….It’s like saying that…”
“It’s like admitting that something fucked up happened to you and you need help dealing with it,” I finished for him. He ground his hands into the sides of his head, almost like he was trying to squeeze the memories from his mind.
“I’m fucking falling apart, but I know I can do this. I just need more time. I just need…I need Morgan.”
He stood and stormed out of the room. I sighed and sat my ass down on the ground. He was spiraling out of control, but he wasn’t ready to accept help. I didn’t know if he ever would be ready.
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