by Lindsey Iler
Glass Heart Hero
Lindsey Iler
Published by Lindsey Iler, 2021.
Glass Heart Hero
Copyright 2021 Lindsey Iler
Kindle Edition
All rights reserved. This book or any portions thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actions events is purely coincidental.
Editing by Katie Mac
Proofreading by Deaton Author Services
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Playlist
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Epilogue
Bonus Material
Acknowledgement
Stay Connected
About the Author
Playlist
War Zone- Unknown Brain, M.I.M.E.
Before I go- Mimi Webb
You’re Going Down- Sick Puppies
If I Killed Someone For You- Alec Benjamin
Before You Go- Lewis Capaldi
Control- Zoe Wees
Hurricane- Fleurie
Stay Away- MOD SUN, Machine Gun Kelly, Goody Grace
Monsters- All Time Low, blackbear
Animal I Have Become- Three Days Grace
Skin & Bones- Lund
Trauma- NF
Falling- Harry Styles
What You Do- James Gillespie
Deathbeds- Bring Me The Horizon
Breath- Breaking Benjamin
Listen to the playlist HERE!
Dedication
To you because whether you believe it or not, you’re important and worthy of all the great things in life.
Chapter One
Breaker
We’re made up of parts, some we willingly expose to the world and others we keep behind lock and key. It’s rare we allow people to see these buried things, because when we do, they no longer solely belong to us. They’re now a piece of the person witnessing them.
My soul is kept inside the confines of my mind. He’s safest there, hidden away. Every so often, I allow him out to play. Those occasions are rare, because he holds my secrets and fears, silently screaming in pain and agony, while forcing the features on my face to tell the world everything is okay.
None of this is okay.
“You ready to go?” Palmer peeks her head inside my bedroom, finding me staring at the ceiling, twirling my lacrosse stick.
I roll off the bed and plaster on the fakest smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”
When I reach the door, she slides in front of me. Her lips don’t tip up a centimeter. This means we’re about to have a heart to heart. Ever since she let it slip about Delaney’s “situation,”—because that’s what I’m calling it—we’ve had a handful of conversations like the one we’re about to have. Every single one ends the same.
“It’s okay to hate all of this,” Palmer says.
“No hate here,” I lie.
“Tell that to the new piercing in your face.” She plucks her finger across my lip, touching the silver ring.
“Girls dig this.” I ghost my hand over my face.
“They wanted you just fine before the holes.”
“Yeah, well, the pain makes me feel euphoric.”
“Hence the extra ink.” Palmer’s words are accusatory. She means well, always does.
A new piercing and a little permanent fixture to the skin has never hurt anyone. With the exception of Delaney, I don’t do anything without thinking it through, and this is now a part of my story. I throw my arm over Palmer’s shoulder and tug her flush against my side, guiding her down the hall.
“You promise to behave yourself tonight?” She worries too much.
“I have no reason not to, right?” I ask, grabbing my bomber jacket off the couch.
Marek saunters into the room and grabs the necklace he gave Palmer for Valentine’s Day to bring her lips to his. I’d be a fucking bald-faced liar if I said their love doesn’t make me jealous. They’ve figured it out and managed to shift something messy into whatever the hell it is they have.
“What’s wrong with him?” Marek whispers.
“I’m not deaf, asshole. I can fucking hear you.” I grab one of the remotes and sling it at his chest. He catches it with little effort. Dick.
“Don’t take your anger out at me. Leave that shit for the field.”
“And tonight?” My eyebrow perks up at the idea.
“Whatever happens, I got your back, but you already know that, don’t you? So, should I be prepared for something, or will I be able to enjoy the night with my girl?” Marek asks, helping Palmer into her jacket.
“Let’s see what kind of mood I’m in.” I shrug, leaving them in the living room whispering about how to handle me, I’m sure.
It’s been months of everyone tiptoeing their happy asses around me. A person can only take so many conversations about how they’re doing. Every time the dreaded words how are you leave someone’s mouth, I cringe. No one wants the truth.
By the time they get out to the car, I’m drumming my thumbs on the steering wheel, eager to get this night started. I have some steam I’m in desperate need of blowing off.
“Where’s Dixon?” I ask as the door opens.
Marek holds it for Palmer. “He’s meeting us there,” he explains, sliding in beside her.
“And Byron?” I glance at them, dropping my eyes to Marek’s hand encompassing hers.
“He’s made the mature decision to lay off the high school parties.” Palmer laughs at her explanation. Those two have come to some weird mutual understanding. She’ll never forgive him for stabbing her on the rooftop, but he’s slowly making it up to her. Taking a bullet for someone is a pretty good start, in my opinion.
“Well, then, let’s do this,” I announce, backing out of the driveway and turning towards the hills. There hasn’t been a party out here this year. “How’d you convince Max to throw this party anyway?”
“How’d you know we had anything to do with it?” Palmer pretends to be oblivious. The high pitch of her voice is a dead giveaway that I’m right.
“We wanted to have some fun, and we needed a controlled space to do that. There’s nowhere safer than Max’s, so I asked, and he was down,” Marek explains, eyeing me through the rearview mirror. His words register, but the apprehension on his face concerns me.
After the short drive, I park along the long line of cars, making sure we have a quick exit. One thing I’ve learned from Glass Heart Academy parties is an escape plan is necessary.
“And will you two please stop treating me like your chauffeur? It’s weird having you behind me.” I spin and wink at Palmer.
She leans forward and hugs me around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, Breaker. Next time, I’ll sit up there with you.”
“Like hell you will.” Marek jumps out of the truck. “Now, do we need to explain how we behave in public again?”
Palmer laughs, but I don’t see the humor. Nothing is funny these days. I climb out and circle the car before Marek can get to Palmer.
I smack my hand onto his chest. “What the hell is going on?”
“I wasn’t supposed to tell you.” His eyes dart to Palmer. He sighs when he looks at me. “But I can’t let you walk in there without a little heads-up, especially since you’ve clearly caught that something’s going on.”
My eyes lock on Palmer. At least she has the decency to look upset and disappointed as Marek spills their secret. I take two long steps to her.
“Were you going to let me waltz in there and look like a complete idiot? Because that doesn’t seem like my girl. So, do I not know you as well as I think I do, or is there some other explanation why I’m about to walk into what would appear to be an ambush?” Every word I’m slinging at her isn’t fair, but I’m too angry to get myself in check.
“Breaker, listen to me.” She grabs my shirt, holding me in place. She knows I’m about to bolt. With her fingers wrapped around my chin, she searches my eyes while I fight to hide them. “Look at me. I’m in an uncomfortable spot. Don’t make it harder on me.”
“So, you’re okay with her flaunting this guy in front of me?” I yank her hand away and stare at the house.
“No, I’m not okay with it, but I don’t really have much choice, Breaker. She’s my best friend.”
“And what am I?” I shake my head, knowing this won’t change a damn thing. Palmer is right. She’s stuck in the middle of our bullshit, and I’m not making it any easier. “Don’t answer that. I’m good. I promise.”
“Breaker, listen, man,” Marek tries to intervene.
I hold my hand up to silence him. “It’s good. Avoidance is a means of survival.”
With little confidence in my words, I spin and walk towards the house, straightening my jacket and combing my fingers through my newly longer hair. This may kill me, but I’ll die looking good while I face my most beautiful demon.
Music pulses through the house, rattling my chest the moment the door opens. The place is packed with sweaty bodies, grinding against each other, hoping to get laid tonight and not regret it in the morning. Most of them will feel the icy regret of their hookups. A majority will see the error in their ways before pants are unbuckled.
“You’re here!” Dixon yells over the top of everyone’s heads. He greets me with a hug, stumbling a bit to prove he’s treated himself with a little controlled substance tonight.
“And you’re shit faced.” I draw away, catching the dilation of his eyes and the goofy ass grin shining brightly at me.
“Hardly.” He rolls his eyes, scoffing.
“What party favors are we partaking in?” I grab the rear of his neck, guiding him through the house and into the larger-than-life kitchen.
“A little grass.” He pinches his fingers together, showing what a little means to him.
“Try again, asshole.” I laugh, reaching my hand out to Max. He smacks his against mine and smiles at Dixon’s bullshit.
“A pill.”
“Max, what the hell did he take?” I grab the shot he offers and down the burn. “And where can I find some, because if I’m not feeling as good as him, then what the fuck is the point of this?”
Max magically produces a bottle out of his pocket, shaking it like an owner teases a dog with new treats. I’m practically salivating as he twists the lid and hands me a pill.
“This won’t kill me, will it?” Without waiting for an answer, I pop it in my mouth and swallow it dry, sticking my tongue out at Dixon and Max.
“Right on, Breaker, you crazy ass mother fucker.” Max hands me a cup of beer to flush the pill down.
An hour later, the pill is blissfully floating through my bloodstream. I’m in the middle of the dance floor with a sophomore wrapped around my waist. She kisses along my neck, and I don’t stop her, even though her lips mean nothing to me. They’re sloppy and desperate.
“You’re so hot,” the girl whispers in my ear, her mouth a little too wet for my liking.
“If you want to spit on something, drop to your knees, sweetheart.” I run the palm of my hand over my skin to dry it.
“Right here?” There’s a question in that sentence, but the eager tone in her voice makes my dick jump. Her hands wrap around the hem of my shirt, and she starts to kneel.
I tug her to her feet and grin, giggling like a fucking schoolgirl. “I love the enthusiasm, but even I have more decorum than that.”
“Are you sure? Because I’m happy to.” She smiles at me with such wonder and admiration in her eyes, it almost kills my buzz.
“What’s your name?” I brush her blonde hair behind her ears, rubbing the strands between my fingers. It’s soft, but not hers.
“Jessica,” she answers, but I barely hear her.
What has me so distracted? Right over Jessica’s shoulder, in the foyer, appears the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. The dress she’s wearing is tight like a second skin. She is newly tanned. Palmer let it slip that she’d jetted off to some island on vacation with her mom after the New Year.
“Why the fuck is she so fucking beautiful?” I whisper, not realizing the words are out loud.
“Who is she?” Jessica’s tone forces me to return to reality, bringing my eyes to her. She leans in, but the shock and horror on Delaney’s face as she watches it almost go down has me palming Jessica’s chin to stop her. She follows my gaze and rolls her eyes. “Delaney, really? Still hung up on her, are we?”
“I’m not hung up on nothing and nobody.” My chest aches at my lies.
“Oh, really? Then fucking prove it, Breaker.” Jessica’s hungry grin excites me, while confusing the hell out of me. This isn’t what I want. “Word is you don’t cower from a dare.” Her small hand wraps around my shirt, tugging me tight to her. She bites the corner of her lip, enticing me to dive down a rabbit hole I’ll never come out of. “I dare you.”
“Dare me to what, Jessica? I love a riddle as much as the next guy, but I’m going to need you to speak.”
“Kiss me right now, in front of your precious Delaney. Prove you aren’t pining over a girl who has clearly moved on.” The gleam in her pupils tells me this girl is trouble. Lucky for her, trouble is exactly what I’m hungry for.
With an easy demeanor, I lift my head and freeze. The thumping music no longer holds my senses hostage. The sight in front of me has my stomach rolling, demanding my attention.
Next to Delaney is Tripp DuPont.
Anyone who’s anyone knows who this mother fucker is. He’s rich in the way that should be illegal. Unfortunately, I can’t report it’s from stealing and malicious activity. The DuPonts are the worst kind of wealthy. Old money, so deeply rooted in this country, they have their greedy hands in every pot.
“What is she doing with a guy like him?” I whisper my worst nightmare.
Jessica grips my chin, forcing my attention to her. “My guess is the rich boy charmed her pants right off.”
With force, I grab her wrist and pin it behind her. Jessica grins as I drive her body against the closest wall, making a huge scene in the process.
“You want to play games, Jessica? Then let’s play.” I press my hips into her body, releasing her wrist to trace her face with a single finger.
“You’re hurting me,” she whimpers with enough pain and pleasure to have me pressing harder.
“Isn’t that what you want from me? You waltzed up to me like you knew what you’d be getting into.” I move my hands next to her body, pinning her between me and the wall.
The way her eyes dart away tells me she isn’t so sure anymore. Good, because I’m in no mood to hold this girl’s hand and call her pretty. What I’m in need of is currently playing grab ass with the richest prick this side of the Mississippi. Since I can’t have what my body wants, the only thin
g that will suffice is someone not willing to fall in love with me, and it’s not this girl.
Jessica smiles, relaxing into the small space I’ve given her. She believes she could be different, but not a single pussy in this room can alleviate the ache Delaney creates. Jessica shows her hand when she bites her lip, while angling her hips towards mine. No doubt she’s imagining us connected in all the right places. Once that sexual fog breaks, she’ll hear wedding bells.
“I don’t have time to babysit someone’s heart, baby.” I lower myself dangerously close to her cheek and peck my lips against her soft skin. “I’m not your boy tonight.”
A low whimper exits her mouth as I angle away from her. Delaney is watching it play out under the guise of talking to DuPont. His polo-covered back is to me. I shake my head and take a sharp right behind him, making a show for Delaney.
Rows of shots are lined up on the kitchen island, so I claim a stool and swipe two, downing them with such swiftness, I barely feel the burn.
“What was wrong with that hot chick?” Dixon asks, settling in next to me.
I’ve tried to hook up and he knows it. Nothing works. None of them are worth the trouble.
I spin around, facing the windows overlooking the backyard. Large heaters are set up for anyone who partakes in a little green. My leg shakes. Damn, this pill is making me anxious. I pull at the collar of my shirt, hoping to release some of the heat smoldering on my chest. I need to smoke to calm myself down.
“She’d be too easy,” I say, shrugging off his disapproval.
“Since when is that a bad thing?” Dixon laughs, patting me on the shoulder as he stumbles to his feet. Before he walks off, he hands me one more shot and nods his chin to the side. “You’ll need this, I’m sure.”
Delaney’s hip sway in her tight, brown leather dress. The confidence in her walk reminds me I’ve not had the chance to break it which makes me angry and remorseful.
“It’s a sin to be that gorgeous, Delaney.” I lean forward, propping my elbows on my thighs.
“Yeah, well, sinning is your specialty, so consider this me taking over for a little while.” Her laughter is soft like her skin, and yet, cuts deep.