by Lindsey Iler
I roll onto my back and catch her eyes shifting down to the portrait of Mia. My Mia.
“It’s not fair, Mom.” I sit up, looking to her for answers I know she doesn’t have. No one does. Not a single person knows what to say to me to make it hurt a little less. “It’s just not fucking fair.”
“You’re right. It’s pretty damn cruel.” She perches on the edge of the mattress, not saying another word, just being with me in the silence.
I’ll no longer hear her goofy laugh, the way it hitches up in the end like she has to gasp for a breath. She won’t be there in the stands at all my hockey games or get to graduate high school. It’s all settling in now. The day leading up to the funeral, I’d had the privilege of ignoring the inevitable, but not anymore.
“She doesn’t get to have a future. She was seventeen years old, and that’s all she’ll ever be.” I fall back, covering my eyes with my forearm.
“No, she doesn’t have a future, but you do, Nicholas. Allow yourself to be sad. Do whatever you feel like you need to do, but at some point, you’ll have to dig yourself out of this hole I know you’ll be in.” She pats me on the leg like she always does when she’s trying to fling some motherly advice on me.
Once she’s gone, I pick up the portrait and lean it against my dresser.
Just outside of my room, my mom cries softly, and my father reassures her I’ll be okay.
Will I be okay, though?
It sure as hell doesn’t feel like it right now.
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Acknowledgement
Bryan... As always, you get the first shout out because you are my literal rock. At this point, it feels like I’m a bit of a broken record with starting my acknowledgements with my insane love for you, but here we are again! Thank you for your endless amount of support!
Katie... This one was a doozy for us. I swear, the next one won’t be so crazy. You hung in with me when I almost wanted to quit because of life and as always, you are my biggest cheerleader and still find ways to push me.
Catherine... Where would I be with you? You are my level head and my sounding board. Thank you for all of the help and love you show me. I can’t thank you enough.
Johnaka and Amber... You read these words when they’re at their ugliest and still ask for more, which still surprises me. Thank you for everything.
Julie... Thank you for double checking my words and making sure it is ready for the world to read! I couldn’t do this without you.
Lindsey’s Savage Queens... We’re a new team, but I LOVE ALL OF YOU! Thank you for helping share all of the things! I can’t wait for us to keep working together!
To the girls of P&BS... Again, this book wouldn’t have been finished if it weren’t for you forcing me to sprint when I didn’t want to, which was more than I care to admit! I love you, girls!
Jennifer (Wildfire Marketing Solutions)... Thank you for all of your help during this release! I can’t tell you what it means to me. You are so easy to talk to and make the whole experience a breeze! Can’t wait to work together more!
Lindsey’s Little Savages... Some of you have been with me since the beginning and some of you are new to my books, but thank you so much for trusting me and reading all of my books early.
To the readers... I literally couldn’t do this without you. All of your excitement for these characters gives me LIFE. Everything that you do means the absolute world to me. I love you all. You are the reason why I get to live my dream and I will forever be grateful to you.
Love,
Lindsey
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About the Author
Lindsey Iler has had her feet planted in the state of Michigan since she was born and she still lives there with her husband and four kids.
When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with family and friends, listening to music, and reading.
Lindsey writes mature young adult/new adult romance. She falls in love with every character that pops into her head and is notorious for writing long chapters in her notes on her iPhone.
She finds inspiration from music and the people around her.