by Rachel Lacey
“I see myself every day.” She felt the hot press of tears and behind it, a blinding surge of anger. “Those scars will always be there, and now they’re the first thing people notice when they meet me. They cringe, Mom, like they can’t bear to look at me.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Her mom took the knife from Megan’s hands and pulled her in for another hug. “I’m sorry, so sorry.”
Megan straightened, wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand before she resumed cutting vegetables.
“How often does that actually happen?” her mom asked. “Because although I want to bitch-slap anyone who would ever cringe at the sight of my beautiful baby girl, I think maybe your scars are more noticeable to you than they are to anyone else.”
“It happens.” Megan thought of the man from her portrait session last week. “Not as often as it used to, but it still happens.”
Her mom pulled out her cell phone. “Smile.” She lifted the phone and snapped a photo, then turned it around to show Megan. “Fluorescent lights are unforgiving. We all look like crap in front of the bathroom mirror. But look at yourself the way I see you, Meg. Unless the sun hits it just so, I hardly notice it.”
Megan looked at the photo on her mom’s phone. She’d shied away from photos of herself this year, afraid of what she would see. And what she saw now was a tired, glum version of herself with barely-visible scarring along the left side of her face. “It’s too dark in your kitchen to really see them.”
Her mom rested a hand on Megan’s arm. “I hate more than anything in the world that you have to live with these scars. It’s horribly unfair, and if I could do anything to change it for you, I would. I’ve cried and cried since your accident. Your father and I both have.”
Megan looked away, her vision blurring behind a sheen of tears.
“But the thing I hate most is the way it’s changed you inside.”
“Mom…” she whispered.
“Now, tell me about what happened with Jake.”
“I just…” She took a deep breath, trying to make sense of the emotions churning in her chest. “His wife was perfect, Mom. Jake even said so himself. She was just this beautiful, sweet, perfect person, and they loved each other so much. How can I ever compete with that?”
“Oh, sweetie, it’s not a competition.”
“I know.” She looked down at the pile of half-chopped vegetables in front of her. “But, if I’m comparing myself to Alana, surely he is too. What if I’m just a way out of his loneliness and grief? What if we’re just helping each other hide from our scars?”
“Has he ever given you any reason to think he’s comparing you to his wife, or that he finds you anything less than perfect too?”
“No,” she whispered, staring at the carrot her mom had put on the cutting board.
“Is it possible that this is all in your head? That maybe you overreacted based on your own insecurities and pushed him away because you got scared?”
“Maybe,” Megan conceded after she’d stared at the carrot so long it had turned into an orange blur before her eyes. “Probably.”
“Then as much as I love having you here, you need to go back to Virginia and sort this out. Because you and Jake love each other, and that’s not something you walk away from without making sure you’ve done everything you can to try to save it.”
“But what if I can’t get past this, Mom?” Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. “I don’t know how to be the woman he deserves.”
“Well, that part’s easy. Just be yourself. Be honest with him, let him help you, let him love you, just like you’ve done for him.”
18
Megan took a deep breath to steady herself as she asked the driver to drop her off at the farmhouse instead of going up to the main castle. She could have used Elle and Ruby for moral support, but she needed to do this on her own. Hopefully, Jake would be willing to hear her out. Because after two days in Florida under constant helpings of her mom’s tough love and advice, Megan was ready to own her mistakes, if Jake would give her the chance.
The farmhouse was empty, though, except for Barnaby, who bounced and wagged his pleasure to see her.
“I missed you too, buddy.” She knelt and pulled him into her arms for a hug. As she stood, she noticed a picture frame on the counter. That hadn’t been there before she left. She was positive. She walked over and picked it up, and her heart somersaulted into her throat when she saw the selfie she’d taken at the top of the Ferris wheel at the Spring Fling. She and Jake were facing each other, kissing, as she’d held her phone overhead.
Her scar was turned toward the camera, glistening slightly in the sunlight, and yet, it was hard to see past the radiant looks on their faces, the joy that glimmered in the air between them, and the vibrant colors of the fairgrounds below.
“I’m an idiot.” She carried the photo to the shelf by the window and nestled it right in the middle of the individual photos of her and Jake. Then, she left the house, walking to the barn. She’d expected to find him working with one of the horses, but nothing prepared her for what she saw as she rounded the barn to face the outdoor ring. Her breath caught in her throat.
Jake was riding Bug.
“Oh my God,” she gasped.
Jake turned, straightening in the saddle as he caught sight of her. He reached down to give Bug a reassuring rub. “Megan.”
“I’m back. I’m…you’re riding Bug. I’m sorry, I just…”
“It turns out she’s either a really quick learner or she’d already had more training than we thought,” Jake said as he dismounted, leading Bug in her direction.
“When I called Elle yesterday, she said Bug had an adoption pending. I wasn’t…I wasn’t sure I’d even get to see her again.”
“I adopted her,” Jake said. “It was going to be a surprise for you, since you two were so bonded. I thought maybe we could trail ride together, you on Bug and me on Twister. And then…” His jaw clenched.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, tears swimming across her vision. “I, um…I’m a total asshole for treating you the way I did the other morning, for everything I said.”
“Yeah, you were,” he said, but his expression had softened.
“Apparently, I have some issues from my accident that I need to work through, which my mom laid out for me pretty hardcore while I was in Orlando.”
“Did she?” He smiled, just slightly, his eyes locked on hers.
“Yeah, like the fact that I’m more hung up on my scars than anyone else is, least of all you, who’s never given me any reason to doubt you, and yet, I panicked and ran the first time we had an argument…which was all my fault, by the way.” She blew out a deep breath, stepping forward to stroke Bug’s face. “And I’m just so sorry, because I love you so much, and I hope I haven’t ruined everything.”
Then Jake’s hands were on her waist, drawing her in for a kiss. His lips closed over hers, hot and urgent, filling her with warmth from head to toe. “Stop apologizing and kiss me.”
“But…” She was kissing him, and tears were streaming over her cheeks, and Bug’s mane was in her face, and she was so happy she could hardly think straight.
“We’ve both got scars, Megan, inside and out. We’ve been through a lot, and we’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to hurt each other. But as long as we’re willing to work at it and learn from our mistakes, we’ll be just fine, don’t you think?”
“I hope so,” she whispered through her tears.
“Life’s short, and true love like what we have is rare. I don’t want to let it go to waste, do you?”
“No.” She pressed her forehead against his, breathing him in, his masculine scent mixed with the horse beside them and the earth beneath their feet. It all felt like home.
Jake cupped her scarred cheek with his right hand, his brown eyes boring into hers. “I love you, Megan. We’ve started something wonderful here together, and I can’t wait to see where it takes us. And now we’ve got Bug
to round out the four-legged family.”
The horse stomped a hoof, nuzzling her nose through the loose strands of Megan’s hair. Her brown eyes were bright and curious, no trace of the fear and distrust she’d displayed when she first arrived at Rosemont Castle.
“I can’t believe you adopted her.” Megan’s voice had dropped to a whisper again.
“You two were meant to be together, just like you and I are. Plus, she and Twister have really hit it off since I started turning them out together. I think it means we’re all meant to stay together, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” She stared into the eyes of the man she loved, and everything that had been out of sorts inside her since her accident, everything in her that had ever felt restless or unsettled, seemed to calm as her world snapped into perfect alignment. “I do.”
Dear Reader
I hope you enjoyed Once Upon a Cowboy! We saw Elle and Theo fall in love in If the Shoe Fits (Almost Royal #1), and now Megan has gotten her happily ever with Jake. So, as you may have guessed, it’s Ruby’s turn next. Let Your Hair Down (Almost Royal #3) is Ruby’s book, and it’s a fun one! (Hint: #RubyGoesRogue) The first chapter is included as a bonus at the end of this book.
Sign up for my newsletter for exclusive news and giveaways and receive a free copy of my award-winning novella, Only You, just for subscribing. If you enjoy chatting about books, I’d love for you to join my reader group on Facebook. It’s a great place for us to stay in touch, and I often ask for help naming upcoming characters and pets plus lots of other fun reader group exclusives.
* * *
Hope to see you there!
Rachel Lacey
Acknowledgments
Thank you so much to my agent, Sarah Younger, and the rest of the NYLA team for all your help with Once Upon a Cowboy. I’m also hugely grateful to Sarah and my awesome sister Juliana for your horse expertise. Any mistakes are my own!
Thank you to my always amazing critique partner, Annie Rains, for your invaluable advice and for titling this book for me!
A special thank you to my loyal reader Marsha McDaniel for letting me use her real-life horse, Twister, as the inspiration for Jake’s horse in Once Upon a Cowboy and to Donamae Kutska for inspiring rescue horse Dusty Star. Rescue horse Bug as well as Megan’s rescue dogs are all inspired by real-life animals at local shelters who’ve all gone on to find their forever homes (both in real life and on the page!)
A huge thank you to all the readers, bloggers, and reviewers who’ve read my books and supported me along the way. Love you all!
xoxo
Rachel
Also by Rachel Lacey
Rock Star Duet
Unwritten
Encore
* * *
The Stranded Series
Crash and Burn
Lost in Paradise
* * *
The Risking It All Series
Rock with You
Run to You
Crazy for You
Can’t Forget You
My Gift is You
* * *
The Love to the Rescue Series
Unleashed
For Keeps
Ever After
Only You
* * *
The Almost Royal Series
If the Shoe Fits
Once Upon a Cowboy
Let Your Hair Down
Let Your Hair Down Excerpt
Chapter 1
* * *
Ruby Keller crept past a row of ornate marble statues into the gardens beyond. Her heels clicked against stone pavers as she followed a path leading away from the Langdon family estate. Behind her, the wedding reception was in full swing, music and laughter drifting on the air, as rich as the scent of the rosebushes blooming on either side of the path.
She wasn’t running away from her best friend’s wedding. On the contrary, Elle and Theo’s wedding was by far the most beautiful and amazing event she’d ever attended, held at this beautiful estate just outside London, but there were drawbacks to being here without a date. Ruby was accustomed to flying solo at events. It usually didn’t faze her. But usually she had her best friends by her side. Now, Elle was married, and Megan was here with her boyfriend, Jake, and they were adorably, disgustingly in love.
For the last half hour, Ruby had fought off the advances of an obnoxiously drunk man named Lester who couldn’t seem to take a hint, not even when she’d pointedly turned to her cell phone and begun scrolling through her social media while he droned on about his accomplishments in the field of financial investment. So, when he went to the bar for another drink, Ruby decided to make herself scarce.
She was officially peopled out for the night and hoping to find some peace and quiet here in the gardens. Just for a little while. Then, she’d be a good Maid of Honor and go back inside to join the party. But, honestly, events like this were exhausting for an introvert.
“Ruby? Are you out here?”
Lester’s deep voice echoed through the garden. It was a shame he was such an ass because he had a sexy voice, and she’d always had a thing for British accents. He wasn’t hard to look at either. But he was obnoxious to the point it bordered on harassment. She’d already told him she wasn’t interested—several times—and yet, here he was. She stepped off the stone path, walking between two rows of rosebushes.
“I saw you come out here and thought you might like company,” he called.
You thought wrong, buddy.
She extended her middle finger in his general direction as she ducked behind a rosebush, bending awkwardly in her floor-length satin dress. There was a sharp tug at her hair, and she reared back with a gasp, right hand raised reflexively in case she needed to defend herself, but no one was there. She was alone, deep in the garden away from the lighted path, her hair snagged on a rosebush.
Well, this was embarrassing. She tipped her head forward, attempting to tug free, but to no avail. Her glasses slid off her nose and tumbled into the darkness. Ruby exhaled in frustration as she reached behind her head, pricking her finger on a thorn in the process.
“For crying out loud,” she muttered. Her fingers encountered more thorns…and more hair. Her meticulously constructed up-do—for which she’d spent hours at the salon that morning with the rest of the bridal party—was now engaged in a tug-of-war with the rosebush. And her hair seemed to be losing.
“You look like you could use a hand,” a man said from behind her.
She tensed, half-blind without her glasses and unable to turn around, stuck in a ridiculous crouch lest she rip her hair out by the roots. But this voice—while still deep, masculine, and British—was different. Softer. Kinder. Not Lester. And she really could use a hand.
“You could say that,” she said.
“Hold still,” the man said, and a moment later, she felt a gentle tug at the back of her head and fingers poking through her hair. “Let me know if I’m hurting you. It’s tangled pretty badly back here.”
“It’s fine,” she said, wincing slightly. “Do what you need to do.”
“Almost got it,” he said.
Ruby rested her palms on her thighs, attempting to balance in her awkward position. Her rescuer had a nice voice, rich and soothing. He sounded young, and yeah, she was still digging the British accent.
“You’re free,” he announced.
“Thank you,” she breathed, straightening to her full height. One hand went automatically into her hair, which felt like a disheveled mess. The man in front of her was tall and slim, with dark hair and wearing a black tux, like nearly every other man in attendance tonight. That was about all she could tell without her glasses. “I really appreciate it.”
“Happy to help,” he said, extending a hand in her direction. “Flynn Bowen.”
She took it and shook, impressed by the strength of his grasp. “Ruby Keller.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Ruby.” He leaned forward, his voice dropping conspiratorially. “So, who are you hiding from out
here?”
“Excuse me?” She crouched, feeling around for her glasses. Her fingers closed over them, and she slipped them onto her face, standing to face Flynn. And whoa. She blinked, attempting to school her expression, because he was hot…in an adorable sort of way. His dark hair was slightly longer than seemed to be the acceptable “dress code” for the other men here tonight. An unruly lock had fallen over his forehead. His eyes were crinkled in a friendly smile, sparkling with humor.
“See, I was already out here…also hiding,” he said with a wink. “My entire family is in there. The Bowens are longtime friends of the Langdons. My parents, brother, sisters, and all their spouses are here tonight. I’m the youngest of five,” he explained. “And the only single one. My mother won’t stop trying to introduce me to every available woman in the ballroom, so I came out to wander the gardens. And then I saw you sneaking off into the bushes.”
“I guess I’m out here for similar reasons,” she told him as she attempted to smooth over what remained of her hairdo. “No family here, though, but I’m the only single one left in my group of friends. I’m surprised your mother didn’t already introduce us.”
“I expect she would have if she knew you,” Flynn said, his easy smile never faltering. “But alas, you’re American, so I think she would consider you a lost cause.”
“She doesn’t want you to date an American?” Ruby asked.
“Oh, nothing like that. It’s just, I imagine you’re only here for the wedding and will be flying home soon after. My mother isn’t exactly trying to find me a one-night stand.” His grin widened.
Ruby laughed. Flynn’s exuberance was infectious. “Well, she’d be right, I guess. I’m sticking around for a week or so to do some sightseeing, but then I’ll be flying back to Virginia.”