At 31, Jay is seven years older than me. Never been married, several serious relationships, yet he’s never lived with anyone, Jay is six feet fall exactly, trim and drop-dead gorgeous. He has one of those big smiles that show all his teeth. One is crooked, but when he smiles, you don’t even notice.
Jay runs a small construction company with his cousin Jonas, so his hands are rough. Not that they’d ever touched me. I couldn’t be so lucky. I fantasize about his hands, though. Even with callouses, his touch would be pure magic.
Amazing blue eyes and, of course, he’s tow-headed. Not sure where that term comes from, but I know it means blonde, just like me. The one thing we have in common. Jay is the perfect all-American guy. He is my ideal. Jay is the man every other man has to live up to.
Too bad none ever had. Too bad none ever could.
Unfortunately, Jay doesn’t know I exist. Oh sure, he knows me, but I don’t think he really sees me. Jay thinks of me as a child.
Or maybe he doesn’t think of me at all.
Getting out of his truck, he stopped short, taking in my outfit.
Dammit!
“Wow. I don’t know what to say about your get-up.” He smiled, all his white teeth gleaming in the early morning sun. “All dressed up and nowhere to go?”
I felt like a child playing dress-up, which I guess is why I’d put on Tulip’s outfit in the first place. I wanted a mental escape from my ho-hum life.
Not knowing what to say, I said nothing to the man of my dreams.
Jay shrugged, before making a visual inspection of my house. “I couldn’t help notice half your roof is missing. Want me to cover it until you get it fixed?” His baby blues didn’t even bother looking at me now. Instead, he was looking around my house with a critical eye.
“That would be great, if you don’t mind.” It would also be great if you pledged your undying love to me. But I kept those words to myself. “I was going to call you, anyway,” I said. “Think you’ll have time to fix it before it rains again?”
Jay nodded. “It’s a small roof, so yeah, I think we can get it done. Jonas or I’ll get a crew started on it tomorrow.”
That was really sweet. Surely, there was a lot of damage in town, yet he was getting to me first. My heart swelled with unrequited love.
Trying to keep the conversation going – not that it was much of conversation, but I wanted to keep his attention while I had it – I ventured, “How’d the rest of the town fare?” It was a reasonable question. The storm was a safe subject.
“Not bad. No serious damage anywhere. A few downed trees, lots of roof damage. The Bertman’s had a window broken, but other than that nothing major.”
“I guess we were lucky then.” Geez! Could I be any more ridiculous? Stating the obvious. I hate when people do that.
Jay was rummaging through his work truck, the kind with two upright tool boxes. After he had the tools he needed, he went to work patching my roof. I hadn’t realized flannel could be so sexy. The tool belt around his waist put me over the edge. Here was a hardworking man. That was sexy.
Trying to be polite and get closer, I hollered, “Do you need any help up there?” Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was climb around on my roof, but for Jay I’d brave it. Then I remembered my costume.
“Nah. This will only take a minute.” Jay was already hammering away. “Did you hear about Dutch and Tulip?” He called over his shoulder.
This caught my attention. “No. What?” I had big plans for Dutch and Tulip. I was going to do it under them some day. Not that kind of “do it.” Get married under them. Someday, when I find the right guy, that is.
After Dutch and Tulip were erected, it became tradition for couples to marry at the park, under the loving eyes of the kissing couple. Those who married under them stayed together. Their track record was spotless. It was as if they were magical and blessed a couple’s life.
A blessing I wanted.
Jay, not sensing my distress, continued hammering before returning his attention to me. “You know that big oak tree?” he asked. I nodded my head, even though he couldn’t see me. “It fell into Dutch and cracked him, but Tulip is fine.”
Nothing major! Nothing major? How could Dutch being damaged be considered anything but major? I always knew that tree was a bad idea. Nothing should be that close to my Dutch and Tulip.
Apparently, Jay was done, because I was momentarily distracted by his backside coming down the ladder. “So what happens now? They’re going to fix him right?” I tried to keep the sense of panic out of my voice. They had to fix Dutch. What would Holland do without the kissing couple?
How was I supposed to get married?
“Don’t know, but I guess they will. The town keeps insurance on them. They asked me to take a look and cover the crack, but that’s all I know.” Jay was down, putting away his tools, while I was still absorbing the news as if someone had died.
“Lily?” Ruth was up and sounding spry, yelling from her back porch. Lipstick on, not a hair out of place, she must be able to handle her liquor better than me.
“Over here, Ruth.” Guessing my time with Jay was up, I focused my attention on my new drinking buddy.
Ruth spotted Jay, taking the opportunity to tell him all about our wild night. “Threw up twice already. You?” she asked in my direction. Sounding proud of herself, she added, “Oh, and I found your bows.”
Chuckling, Jay got in his truck, without a backward glance, and drove away. But I’m sure I heard him mutter something about my braids.
Chapter 2
“How do you feel, sweetheart?” Tulip had been unusually quiet since the storm, but now she felt better. The people had come and that nice young man had covered up Dutch’s butt.
“I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.” Dutch knew he must look ridiculous, but didn’t want to whine. No one liked a cry baby.
When the sun had risen, the people who ran the ice cream shop across the street had seen the fallen tree and come to investigate. They’d immediately taken action and, soon after, Dutch received what Tulip was now calling a bandage.
Bandage, my ass, he thought. Of course, he didn’t say that to Tulip. She was especially touchy about such things, but he was embarrassed. He knew the blue tarp would stick out like a sore thumb against his red overalls, but at least he couldn’t feel the breeze inside anymore.
“I just knew they’d come and help. Did you hear them talking about insurance?” Tulip asked.
“Of course I did, dear. I was standing right here.”
“Oh, I know. I just want them to hurry and get you fixed.” Over the past several years, people had mentioned repainting them. Tulip, like all women, was excited about getting a makeover. “Just think. If they repaint us, maybe someone will get married again. It’s been too long. Why do you think that is, Dutch?” Tulip’s favorite days were those when someone chose to marry under their loving eyes. All the pretty flowers. And the people were always so happy.
“I don’t know, flower. People are different now, but I’m sure once were all shined up, someone will. And then maybe you’ll let me kiss you?” Hope was evident in Dutch’s tone.
“Silly boy. I told you I won’t kiss you until I get my flowers.”
~~~~~
After drinking a gallon of water and taking more than the directed dosage of ibuprofen, my stomach was rumbling. Not sure if that was from hunger or Ruth’s whiskey, I decided against breakfast. Best to get dressed and start cleaning up. Even though what I really wanted was to crawl back into bed, even Ruth’s, and sleep off my hangover.
By the time I got back outside, Bill was done cutting up my willow tree. I spent the next several hours picking up debris and helping stack wood. I started in on Ruth’s yard next. Lucky for me, the only debris in her yard was my roof.
Ruth invited me over for lunch, which my stomach could now handle. I hope. Since the power was still out, our meal consisted of Ruth cleaning out her refrigerator. I hadn’t realized people made dev
iled eggs other than on special occasions.
While we ate, we listened to Ruth’s battery-powered radio. Again, I am so not prepared for emergencies. Ruth wanted to know all about the damage in town and I needed to get to the park and check up on Dutch, so after my rather odd lunch, I did just that.
Walking down Haupt Street, which is our version of Main, I was shocked at how my small town looked. It looked like a tornado had struck, but according to the news, we hadn’t had a tornado, after all. Just a really bad storm.
Tree limbs were everywhere and there was a downed power line in the post office parking lot. Unlike most buildings and homes in Holland, the post office stands out. Its mid-century design is straight out of the 1960s. Large rectangular windows and a one-slope roof make the building almost out of place in a town where everything is turn of the century.
Twentieth century, that is. But I love it. It’s unique.
The business district, as I like to call it, consists of the Dairy, with its shiny, orange, milk house block; Boom’s Café, which now stands empty but used to serve the best cheeseburgers; and an empty gas station. The kind where they put the gas in for you, while cleaning your windows and checking your oil.
The hose that alerted the attendant that a car had arrived was still there. I remember riding over it on my bike as a kid, trying to make the bell go off. I never weighed enough, but the older kids could do it.
Across the street is another gas station. This one, too, abandoned. The owners had built a new one in the ’80s. We thought we were really something then. Not only could you get your car serviced, but you could buy a gallon of milk and a bag of chips.
Yes, Holland has a convenience store. It’s all we’ve got in the way of a grocery store now. Barth’s Market shut down years ago. Next to it is what used to be the laundry mat, closed as well.
Sad, really. Our so-called business district doesn’t do a whole lot of business. At one time, Holland could support two gas stations, a grocery store and laundry. Looking around, I realized that, though a storm could destroy a town, change could as well.
Yet seeing the town’s residents cleaning up their yards and hearing the chainsaws buzzing, I knew Holland wasn’t dead, just transitioning. I guess we’re a bedroom town now. I hate that term. It sounds so…boring.
Holland is not boring.
It’s wonderful. How could I even think of leaving? This is where I grew up and I turned out just fine. I would raise my children here as well.
But first I had to get married. And for that to happen, Dutch had to get fixed.
Going down the steep hill in front of the school, which was scary to me as a child on a bike, a familiar voice called my name.
“Lily!” Jonas Heimerschmitt, Jay’s cousin and business partner, was waving and smiling. Jay and Jonas look so much alike they could pass for brothers. Jonas is two years older than me and he, like Jay, was doing what he could to help out, replacing the broken window at the Bertmans’ house.
“Hey, Jonas,” I said with a wave. “How’s it goin’?”
“Good. Once I’m done here, I gotta go back to Mom and Dad’s. They lost a big tree in the backyard. Dad thinks he can handle it himself.” He rolled his Jay-like blue eyes at me.
Jonas’s parents live on Snob Hill. If Holland had an exclusive, “Oh I want to live there” neighborhood, Snob Hill was it. A two- block stretch on Kirche Avenue. See that’s how fancy they are. They are an Avenue. The only one in town.
“Heard you and Ruth had quite a night? Even played dress-up.” Jonas was trying hard not to laugh, but lost the battle. “Sorry. I’m just trying to picture you and Ruth getting drunk.”
“Well, in my defense, Ruth was scared after the storm.”
Jonas wasn’t buying it, though, so I slugged him in the arm. Not hard. As if I could hit someone very hard with my 105 pounds.
“Yeah, right. Ruth scared? Just keep telling yourself that.” Jonas looked good wearing a t-shirt, his flannel shirt was tossed on the hood of his truck. He may look like Jay, but he’s bigger by several inches and stockier. Not fat, but muscular, having played high school football. And all his teeth were straight. “So, Jay patched your roof?”
“Yes. Said he’d get started on it tomorrow.” I couldn’t wait. I’d do what I could to help, but mostly I was just looking forward to an excuse to be near Jay. I’d bring him cold drinks, maybe fix him and his crew lunch. If all went well, maybe he’d stay for supper. And then the night.
“Actually, I’ll be doing your roof.”
Dang! Not that I didn’t like Jonas, but he was no Jay. I couldn’t very well substitute one Heimerschmitt for another. I really did like Jonas, though. He was a great guy. In fact, I considered him a close friend.
He also knew how I felt about his cousin. “Sorry, Lils. You’ll just have to satisfy yourself with me.” He waggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated gesture of seduction.
“Oh, I think you’ll do just fine.” I waggled right back. Jonas and I had that kind of relationship. We teased and taunted, maybe a little flirting, but it was all innocent.
“Fine? Fine?! I’ll show you fine one day,” Jonas winked, stepping closer. I stepped back. If I didn’t, he’d tickle me until I couldn’t breathe.
“What are you doing – just walking around town? Shouldn’t you be helping clean up? Or are you too hung over?” Jonas bent over, imitating throwing up.
I slugged him again. “That’s what I’ve been doing, but I wanted to check on Dutch and Tulip. Have you seen them yet?”
“Yeah, I was with Jay when he patched Dutch.” Jonas had a funny look on his face, like there was something he didn’t want to say.
“What? Is it that bad?” Anxiety colored my words.
Shifting, Jonas appeared to ponder the question long enough that I was getting more anxious by the ponder. “I know how you feel about them, Lily. Tulip is fine, but the crack in Dutch is pretty severe. I’m just warning you.”
Now I felt like he’d punched me in the gut, and he didn’t do it playfully.
“Okay, but they’re going to fix him, right? I can’t imagine Holland without Dutch and Tulip.”
“Me either. They’ve been here my whole life.” I guess he could sense my concern, which was now overwhelming. “Don’t worry, Lily. I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’ll even make it better by kissing you under them.” It’s a wonder Jonas didn’t have a permanent twitch as much as he winked. Such a ladies’ man.
“I’ll hold you to that.” But suddenly, I didn’t feel so good about it anymore and teasing with Jonas was only making me feel worse, not better. I needed to get to the park. “Don’t work too hard,” I said, turning to leave.
But before I made it two steps, Jonas stopped me. “Hey, you’re off school for break, right?” Jonas asked.
“Yep. Ten whole days off.” My plans were to go shopping with my best friend Kelly and maybe see a movie. Nothing major. No trips to Florida for me.
“I’ll give you a call and we’ll do something.” It was a statement, not a question. Jonas and I often did things together. Not dating, though. Remember, he’s the wrong Heimerschmitt.
“Sure, just give me some notice this time.” Jonas usually called at the last minute when other plans had fallen through or if he was bored. Which was fine with me, as Jonas is easy to hang out with.
I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. We are not friends with benefits.
“Great. Just be sure and dress up like Tulip for me. I’ve always had a Dutch girl fantasy.” Jonas ducked my next punch, which I’d put more force into.
~~~~~
Dutch and Tulip are Holland’s claim to fame. Standing at 57 feet tall, it’s easy to see why. They’re hard to miss and impossible to ignore.
Their home, the Holland American Legion Park, is everything a great park should be. Thirty acres of mostly woods, two playgrounds, three shelterhouses, a softball field and two walking trails, one circling the lake, a really great lake. With a beach for swimming.
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br /> And just like in the real Holland, we have a two-story windmill. Which is dwarfed by the statues.
As you enter the park on the rise of a small hill, Dutch and Tulip stand guard at the main entrance, faithfully watching over Holland. Dutch is on the left and Tulip on the right as you drive under them. That’s why they’re so big. The town wanted people to be able to drive under them. Why? I have no clue. Honestly, they are ridiculously large.
But I love them. They’re adorable. All chubby and innocent-looking.
When we built our world’s largest, we went all out. They could have been smaller and still been the largest the world has ever seen, but no. They’re gigantic.
They are supposed to be kissing, like all good Dutch boys and girls, but because of a miscalculation when placing them, their lips are just inches from touching. So even though we claim to have the world’s largest kissing Dutch couple, it’s more like almost kissing.
When Interstate 64 was built just outside town, almost 50 years ago, Holland wasn’t even going to merit an exit. The town council fought hard to get one, but would have lost if it hadn’t been for the Dairy.
The Dairy is just that. A Dairy. The owners needed that exit onto the new road to run their milk routes. So along with the rest of the town, they raised enough money to have the world’s largest kissing Dutch couple built. Dutch and Tulip became such a tourist draw that the state had to give us an exit. There’s even a sign along the interstate advertising the famous couple. Holland would have died without that exit.
As it was, we were almost dead anyway.
It was a different time then. Small towns like Holland had to fight or be passed by for larger towns. For this very reason, the United States is home to all kinds of “world’s largest.” In High Point, North Carolina, you can see the 38-foot-tall, world’s largest chest of drawers. Complete with socks dangling from a drawer. Collinsville, Illinois, has the largest catsup bottle. Actually it’s a water tower, so I’m not sure its 170-foot dimension really counts.
A Holland Kiss Page 2