by Shane Walker
The way this section worked was that it pumped continuous mana throughout the entire inscription like a closed circuit. If at any point this flow was interrupted, it triggered the detonation. That meant I had to find a way to bypass the normal flow and somehow turn this into a self-contained circuit. It wasn’t entirely unlike certain physical security systems that required continuous contact or an alarm would be set. Good thing I loved that one show where the guy always had to make contraptions out of whatever he had on hand to save the day. For some reason I could remember the theme but not the title.
A quick message to my Enchanter confirmed that the core component of the wands she’d made me was a thread inside that carried magical energy. I explained the situation and she said that breaking a wand would, in fact, allow me to access the thread. It would also ruin the wand, which was something I apologized for profusely. She didn’t seem to mind and was actually extremely happy that something she’d made could help me out.
Humming the theme song to myself, I started to break the wand the way she’d recommended-starting at the end and breaking it off in roughly one inch increments. When that was finished, the chunks were all connected by a single thread like a small child’s popcorn garland. The breaking down process somehow weakened the pieces of wood and allowed me to crumble each piece in my hand, leaving only the string itself.
Taking the scrap pieces of paper from the maps, I licked each piece a few times like a stamp. I consistently reminded myself it was just a game and I wasn’t actually licking sewer paper. Using these to hold the thread in place, I found the beginning and end of the defense system and connected one end of the thread to each, completely circumventing the original path of the mana flow. With this I could modify the rest of the pattern as needed.
Before changing anything though, I started making notes and taking screenshots of the patterns so I could study them later. Something like this might come in handy for defending our HQ. After cataloging the runes and their effects I received a new skill notification.
New Skill!
Inscription
Level 1
Allows you to create magical effects at a fixed location using runes and mana.
Mana? Well fuck me, I guess. I wasn’t going to be doing much with this skill, it seemed. Maybe if I could find something I could do with just the base mana I could do that, but otherwise I was outta luck.
With that out of the way, I was able to carefully start manipulating the runes in such a way as to take power away from the detonation portion of the Inscription. This gave me a notification for a skill improvement, so I opted to stick around for a minute and toy with the script to see what else I could do. By the time I finished, I’d found a way to disable every section and figured out how to create an Inscription that generated mana for more Inscriptions. I’d also gained a few more levels in the Skill.
Your Inscription skill has increased to 6!
While it was always nice learning something new, I didn’t really know what I’d manage to do with this down the road. I decided to just be thankful for a new skill and move on. With the correct modifications done, I twisted the door until it was in the proper position and gently opened up.
The smell of sulfur hit almost immediately. Well, if fighting demons the whole way here didn’t tell me what to expect then the whole place smelling like a portal to hell certainly did. This was really starting to feel like more than I’d originally bargained for. Sure, the imps on the way here were relatively easy to deal with once we got the hang of it, but I had to learn two new skills and a new spell to get into this damned place.
And now on top of that, I was walking into some sort of weird hell portal? Fuck me, right? “Oh sure, Jack. Help out the Thieves Guild, go down to the sewer, have a few laughs.” I mumbled to myself as I started crawling through the tunnel behind the door.
“Please try to remain focused, Jack. We have no idea what we will fight when we get inside.” Zen responded.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I just wanted to blow off some steam. Sorry. I promise I’ll start taking this ser-” I was interrupted by a hand the size of my fucking head reaching into the tunnel and forcibly pulling me the rest of the way through before throwing me against the opposite wall. My health was instantly dropped by a quarter. I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for the new equipment considering my general refusal to add anything to my Vitality. I inspected the owner of the hand to see exactly what I was dealing with.
Gatekeeper Demon
Level 30
HP 2000/2000
The brute that had just pulled me out of the tunnel like a doctor in a delivery room that’s got somewhere to be later was terrifying. He looked like a Japanese Oni, but without the club one would see in traditional depictions. He stood easily nine feet tall with arms that were almost too long for his body that ended in massive hands. His skin was a blood red that was so close to the real thing that it was almost sickening to look at. The facial expression his tusks forced him to have at all times combined with his unkempt hair to give him an almost goofy look. Unfortunately his funny face did nothing to change the fact that he was built like a brick shithouse.
“Zen, hurry the fuck up!” I yelled towards the tunnel. As soon as I got my bearings I moved in to start working out his attacks and how to defend. I quickly reactivated combat notifications so I could see what sort of natural protection this thing had. His skin was apparently worth twenty points of natural armor because my damage was significantly reduced.z
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 95 damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 67 damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 95 damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 67 damage!
“Don’t worry Jack I’m he- What in the name of the gods is that?” Zen asked, finally reaching the end of the tunnel. He’d taken his spirit form to move more quickly.
“He’s the doorman! Said the club is full and to come back with girls!” I said as I desperately avoided another haymaker. “Change to Ranger when it’s available and pull this guy off me!”
“On it!” he said as he switched to Ranger the moment I put enough distance between myself and the Gatekeeper to change to Thief. The second I was in the new Job, I dropped into Stealth.
“Who are you to dare enter here, mortal? Who dare’s challenge the Mistress’ Gatekeeper?” the Gatekeeper Demon bellowed at us as Zen engaged with his own sword and parrying dagger combo.
I put away my sword and dagger and drew my twin hand crossbows as I smirked and whispered “I’m the key master, motherfucker!”
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 150 Sneak Attack damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 150 Sneak Attack damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 206 Sneak Attack damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 206 Sneak Attack damage!
I unloaded all four weapons at once and was momentarily taken aback by the damage output. The piercing power these weapons had, combined with the sneak attack damage, cost the demon almost half his life! Hell, combined with my previous hits it was sitting at just under 50% health already. This had the unintended consequence of causing him to spin on me suddenly and dive right at me, ignoring Zen completely.
A dive and roll to the side just narrowly put me out of harm’s way. Well, for that moment at least. When the demon recovered, it was still staring at me. I forgot the cardinal rule of never drawing a monster’s attention off the tank.
“OK, this won’t work like we’d planned, Zen! Switch to something to shoot him with and let’s just wear him down!” I said when I realized he’d never get this thing’s attention from me.
Zen hits Gatekeeper Demon for 400 damage!
What the fuck? I looked over to see Zen reloading a heavy crossbow. Apparently, he’d taken a different philosophy when it came to ranged weapons. Still, that was a nice chunk of damage! While he was reloading, I opted to fire another volley at him.
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 75 damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 75 damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 103 damage!
You hit Gatekeeper Demon for 103 damage!
Zen hits Gatekeeper Demon for 200 damage!
And just like that, the Gatekeeper was no more. It was anti-climactic if I’m being honest.
“And here I thought it was going to be a tough fight!” I said as I moved over to inspect the corpse for loot. No sooner had I finished saying it than a shrill cry pierced my skull like the worst migraine I’d ever had.
“INTRUDERS! FIND THEM AND BRING THEM TO ME MY PETS!”
I looked over when it was finished to see Zen still recovering from the pain of the psychic intruder alarm. He was staring at me like I’d just summoned a demon myself.
“What?” I said. “That is not my fault!”
37-Character Assassination
“Well, the way I see it- we have two options,” I said as I started checking the Gatekeeper for loot as quickly as I could. “We can try to hold our ground here against an unknown number of enemies. We have just a single entrance to defend, but there’s probably enough demons in here to overwhelm that position.” I looked over the haul, which consisted of some rings better suited for a front line fighter and a few bottles of demon blood, then looked up at Zen. “Or we go in guns- well, crossbows blazing, keep moving, and try not to get pinned down. All this while we navigate an area with an unknown number of enemies with unknown traps and dangers.”
“Considering your first plan has almost zero chance of success, I recommend the second one as it has very little chance of success.” Zen said with a resigned sigh followed by a tired smile. “Somehow we’ve found ourselves in a situation where ‘very little chance of success’ is the superior option.”
“Oh come on, Zen.” I said as I started walking towards the door. “It can’t be that ba-”
“STOP!” he yelled before I could finish. “Please don’t jinx us again, Jack.”
Admitting defeat, I carefully slid up to the doorway to take a peak. This was followed immediately by spinning a full 180 degrees and diving out of the way as a giant club came crashing down on the spot where I was standing. I guess I should have noticed the doorway was ten feet tall-awfully large considering the size of the imps.
Enforcer Demon
Level 30
HP 3000/3000
This big motherfucker looked almost identical to the Gatekeeper other than the fact that he was somewhat more muscular and had a club as tall as he was. He also had 50% more HP than the Gatekeeper. I had to hope that enemies followed similar rules to us as far as stats went and that his increased Strength and Vitality came at the cost of either Endurance or Agility. He didn’t seem the conversationalist type so I had to assume Intellect was still fairly low.
“Zen, we gotta try to beat this thing with just melee!” I said as I dodged another swing from the Enforcer’s club. I managed to get a couple of hits in with my daggers but the damage was nothing to right home about. When I did the math it was less than 10% of the demon’s total health. I realized I truly was spoiled by how much damage I could deal when I had the advantage in a fight.
“What’s the plan?” he asked as he unsheathed twin short swords and moved into melee. He managed to drop completely prostrate just in time to avoid a low-swinging club.
“Hit him a bunch and don’t let him hit us?” I replied as I got two more dagger attacks in on his legs. He moved too much for me to get to his back.
“Jack, we are going to have a serious discussion about the definition of the word ‘plan’ when this mission is completed.” came my companion’s frustrated reply.
Ignoring Zen’s reprimand, I started doing my best to weave in and out as I attacked. I got clipped by an attack after a mis-timed attack and lost a third of my health, so I was hesitant to get overzealous again. Instead I watched him more closely as he used his club, seeing him try and fail to hit both of us several times each until I noticed a flaw in his fighting style.
Perception has increased to 22!
Even though he was a big, strong motherfucker, physics was still a thing in this world. That meant that big ass club of his was still subject to inertia. That same inertia was pulling him off balance every time he swung the club. That gave me arguably the stupidest fucking idea I’d ever had up to that point.
“OK, change of plans! Zen get ready to take Thief Job!” I said as I dodged another attack while watching his movements again to see which threw him most off balance. When I saw he was getting ready for that attack again, I switched over to my Blacksmith Job.
The demon wound up with the club in a pose somewhere between baseball swing and golf swing, with his only goal to make a fresh batch of Alltrades guacamole with my brain. The swing came low to the ground so I combined my Dodge with the increased Strength of the Blacksmith Job to jump over the swing. When I landed, I bent my knees and got ready to strike. Right as his foot was about to have the least weight on it I gave that leg a solid spear tackle, causing it to swing behind him and putting him on his face.
Zen, for his part, knew an opportunity when he saw one. The instant the demon hit the ground Zen was on his back. The sneak attacks made up for the monster’s natural armor and the fact he had no need to dodge meant he could use his full attack speed. Seeing it was a window that could close any second, I switched to Ranger, but pulled out my daggers. Under our combined damage output the demon only lasted a few more seconds.
In the future, I’d have to look at some sort of throwable poison or something to reduce natural defenses or even something to eat through armor. I couldn’t just shoot stuff till I ran out of ammo and then run away from anything tougher than a pinata. At the same time, because I wasn’t exactly built specifically for damage, my melee weapon attacks couldn’t easily overcome the damage mitigation of armor.
Filing armor penetration away in the “Future Jack Problems” bin, I scooped up the loot our big club-wielding friend left behind. This time it was just the demon’s blood and something called a Crystalized Demon Essence. This was all clearly crafting mats, but I had no idea what for.
After checking the doorway and confirming nothing was going to try and decapitate me this time, we continued into the hallway. To balance out the fact that I had equipment he didn’t which gave me a major boost, Zen took Thief and I took Ranger as we both dropped into Stealth. We didn’t make it very far before we encountered a group of three feminine looking demons slowly making their way towards the entrance where we’d fought the last two demons.
Lilin
Level 30
HP 1000/1000
“Zen,” I said in party chat as we hugged the walls. “I don’t think these are going to be as easy to fight as the HP would suggest. I say fuck it, let’s flash ‘em after they walk by and clean up as quickly as possible. I don’t want to risk it.” Zen agreed with my plan and we hugged the walls as we waited.
I’m sure a more adventurous type would be curious to see what made these demons different from the rest, but I’d already had my fill of demons. As the demons got a few yards past us, I gently rolled a flash grenade along the floor and luckily it made it in front of them before the thing went off.
When I saw they were sufficiently blind, Zen and I moved in, shooting at them until we were in melee range. The trio was completely helpless against our attacks thanks to our backstab bonuses, so ending their patrol took only a matter of seconds.
“Jack, look at what they dropped! It’s all assassin’s gear. Daggers, poisons, smoke bombs, it’s all for quickly dispatching foes.” Zen said as he looked over their loot.
“It’s odd that they were walking along so casually. Maybe they assumed we were already dead?” I replied.
“Or maybe they were a distraction.” came a voice from behind me.
Backstab Bonus!
You take 150 damage!
You are poisoned!
You take 100 damage per second from the poison!
Stren
gth and Agility reduced by 50!
“Jack!” I heard Zen yell as pain took over my body. The poison felt like it was eating me from the inside and my mind was overwhelmed by the agony of the experience. The world turned blurry as my brain failed to process anything other than the suffering I was currently going through, but for some reason all I could think was I hope I don’t shit myself. Clearly, I was not in my right mind.
The clash of metal on metal caught my attention as I realized Zen was fighting to protect me from the new Assassin’s attacks. I had to help my friend, but I could barely put together a coherent thought. After a few seconds of this haze, my mind fell on one word: Merchant.
Immediately, my Job changed to Merchant and the sudden surge in Willpower allowed me to fight through the pain and remember the antidotes I had in my bag. I reached in and double-fisted an antidote and health potion like I had an ex to get over. The pain was slowly replaced by a warm, almost burning sensation as the antidote did its work. When that feeling got to my stomach I was almost certain I was going to shit myself, but only because it brought back memories of food poisoning.