“What can they do?” I whispered. I didn’t really know.
“They’re the perfect predator for werewolves,” muttered Judah. “They’re stronger than us. Just a little stronger.” He shook his head. “A pack of them against a wolf pack, it’s almost always a slaughter.”
I swallowed. Landon did seem unstable. His emotions did seem volatile. I thought of his anger toward Desta, and the way he’d been so intent on challenging Vivia tonight. For whatever reason, he seemed to have taken an interest in me. That wasn’t good. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know he would ever come back here. I didn’t mean to bring danger to the pack.”
“He runs alone, you say?” said Judah to Vivia.
“Yes,” she said.
“Well, he wouldn’t be a danger to the pack, then,” said Judah. “We could take him apart. Against all of us, he’d have no chance.”
“I don’t want him taken apart,” I said.
“No,” said Judah, and he stopped pacing to look at me. “What is he to you? He acted like some jealous lover.”
“Well, he’s not,” I said.
“Bloodhounds can’t do that,” said Vivia. “Certainly you’ve heard—”
“Of course,” said Judah, sighing. “No, all the more reason for him to be jealous, I suppose.”
“I don’t think he…” I searched for words. “He doesn’t have feelings for me.” But then I remembered his comment about watching me sleep. “He was my sister’s…” Of course, that whole relationship seemed entirely confusing.
“Whatever he has for you, it’s not safe,” said Judah. “I’d feel better if we got you to the pack. You’d be safe there. Protected.”
“But I don’t think he’ll come back,” I said. “You heard what he said. He yelled for me to have a nice life.”
“Even so, I think we should leave,” said Judah. “Tonight.”
“Tonight?” I said. “But I haven’t had a chance to say goodbye to Sinead. I haven’t had a chance to pack.”
“Well, you’d best do it quickly,” said Judah. “We’ll leave in an hour.”
“You can’t just decide,” I said. “Shouldn’t I have anything to say about it?”
“You have said things,” said Judah. “And it’s my job, as your mate, to keep you safe. There is nothing more important than that. So, we’re leaving.”
* * *
“Well?” said Sinead, who was sitting on my bed in my room as I threw clothes into a bag. I wasn’t even sure if they were really my clothes, but I didn’t have anything else, so I was taking them anyway. “What was it like? The bond, did it make it different?”
“Did it make what different?”
“You know.” She was very serious, her eyes wide.
And then I remembered our conversation about sex. “No, it didn’t make it different. It was pretty terrible in fact. I had better sex with Parker.”
“With Jerkface? No.” Sinead was devastated by this news. “I really thought that if you were with a wolf—”
“Well, it was all very awkward,” I said. “Maybe the next time we do it, it’ll be different.” But when I thought of being with Judah that way again, I only felt apprehensive.
“Maybe,” said Sinead. “Maybe it was only because it was the first time, and—”
“Sinead, I’m leaving,” I said. “Is this really what you want to talk about?”
She gave me a hurt look.
“Sorry,” I sighed. “I don’t mean to snap. I just… everything in my life keeps changing so fast.”
Sinead got off the bed and gave me a hug.
I wrapped my arms tight around her. “Blood and fangs, I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too,” she said.
And suddenly, we were both crying.
We clung to each other for a long time, both of us still sobbing. Finally, Sinead pulled away, wiping at her eyes with the heels of her hands. “Call me,” she said.
“What?”
“You have to call me,” she said. “I still have a cell phone so that I can keep in touch with my parents. So, even though you’re gone, we can still keep in touch.”
I smiled. “I have a phone too.” I got mine out. “I don’t know how long I’ll have it. I’m on my parents’ plan, and they might cut it off.”
“Haven’t you talked to your parents?” she said. “Since you came out here, I mean?”
I bit down on my lip. Sinead and I were so close, and yet there was so much that we didn’t know about each other. “With my parents, it’s different. I think it would be easier for them if they didn’t have to worry about me, that’s all. And if I’m out of sight and out of mind, that will make that happen more quickly.”
Sinead raised her eyebrows disbelievingly.
“My parents aren’t like yours, okay?” I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “Anyway, even if I lose my cell phone, I’ll still be able to call you somehow, I’m sure. I’ll find another phone.”
“Yes,” she said. “We’ll see each other again, Camber. I’m sure of it.”
* * *
Before I knew it, I found myself in the passenger’s seat of Judah’s car, and we were racing down narrow roads between the trees of the forest. There wasn’t much to see out the window, just trunks of trees streaming past, and it was late at night, so I found my eyes closing. Soon, I fell asleep.
It was just as well, I supposed. It would have been smart to stay awake and talk to Judah, but I wasn’t feeling much in the mood for conversation after everything that had passed between us. First, the awkward, awful sex and then, the way he’d ordered me around. I didn’t think it was an auspicious beginning for a new relationship.
I wouldn’t have come with him at all, not if it was only about me, but it wasn’t. There was the pack to think about, and I was connected to them. Even as I dreamed, I felt myself getting closer and closer to them. I could feel them all—their essences like bright sparks at the edge of my consciousness. They were my home. A home I’d never known before, but one that felt more welcoming than the place where I’d grown up.
I was going home.
When I woke up, dawn was splitting the sky above the trees, streaking reds and blues through the clouds. The car had come to a stop, and Judah was looking me over.
I stretched.
“You’re awake?” he asked.
I nodded.
“We’re here,” he said.
“Yes,” I said, smiling widely, because I could tell. The pack was close now, all of them all around me, and the warmth of their presence made me feel a toasty warm feeling, like snuggling up by a fire. I opened the door to the car to get out.
“Listen,” said Judah.
Why was he stopping me? I was home. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to get out of the car and go to my people, my wolves, my pack. A euphoria was building in me, and he was ruining it. I turned to look at him over my shoulder, impatient.
“I need to explain something to you before we go in,” he said.
“Okay,” I said, “but I need to stretch my legs. I’ve been sitting too long.” I got up out of the car. I stood next to it, stretching my arms out.
When I stretched out my arm, I touched something, even though I didn’t see anything to touch. It was a strange sensation, like touching warm Jello. I pulled my hand back, startled.
And the place where I had touched radiated out, and I could see that there had been an illusion there. It had looked as though there were nothing but trees as far as the eye could see. But now I could see that there was a village below us, spread out in a little valley.
“It’s the protection spell that Vivia gave us,” said Judah from behind me. “It hides us from the outside world. It’s only penetrable by a member of the pack.”
I was mesmerized by what I could see now. The wolf pack village stretched out over the valley, clusters of log cabins along small cobblestone streets. The place was like something out of another time. It was cozy and quaint and perfect.
I loved it. I couldn’t believe I got to live here. This was the kind of place I’d always wanted to live, even if I’d never quite known it. The best thing about it was that it wasn’t surrounded by a fence, like every other town I’d ever visited.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered. I looked back at Judah, beaming.
He grinned too. “It’s home.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. I turned back to look out at the village. “Home,” I repeated.
“But listen, you have to understand,” he said. “All of this has happened so fast. I haven’t had a chance to properly… prepare for having a mate.”
“Oh, it’s okay if you don’t have a bed for me or something,” I said, still gazing at the village and not at him. “I’m sure I’ll be able to find someplace to sleep.” The warmth of the pack radiated out at me. My pack would protect me. They would take care of me. And I would protect and care for them in return. I was certain of that.
“No, that’s not what I mean,” he said. “Look, I had a life before you came into it. A full life.”
Okay? What was he trying to say? I didn’t get it, and I didn’t know if it was really that important to know all those things at this moment. I was seized by the desire to get down there into the village. It was where I belonged.
“I, uh, I was looking for a mate, of course I was, but I wasn’t expecting to find one right away, and until I did…”
I looked back at him. “Until you did, what?”
Suddenly, a woman with blond hair and bright eyes appeared. She must have been hurrying toward the car, coming from the village, but I hadn’t noticed her specifically, because I’d been overtaken with the totality of the place.
“Judah, you’re back!” She grinned at him, hurrying toward him. “You should have called and said you were coming. I was just getting ready to go for my morning run.”
Judah shrank from the woman, looking horrified. “Tempest, wait, you can’t be here yet. You need to—”
The woman practically tackled him, pressing her lips onto his and kissing him thoroughly.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Judah kissed her back for a minute, and then he pushed her off. He was gentle about it, but firm. “Tempest,” he said in a quiet voice, “we need to talk.”
I furrowed my brow. I was starting to get an inkling of what was going on here. My lips parted. “So, when you said you weren’t looking for a mate, you didn’t mean you were spending your evenings alone. You meant you were playing the field.”
“I…” Judah shoved his hands into his pockets. “Look, Tempest and I have known each other since we were kids. We were together before I even became alpha. We went to homecoming together sophomore year. It’s a little complicated.”
My eyes widened.
Tempest seemed to notice me for the first time. “Who are you?”
“So, what are you saying?” I said. “You have a girlfriend?”
“Well,” said Judah, “obviously not anymore.”
“What?” said Tempest.
Judah grabbed both of her hands. “Can you please go back to your house and wait for me there? I’ll come and talk to you, I promise.”
“Since high school,” I said, shaking my head. This… I didn’t even know how to feel about this. I was pretty sure that I should feel outraged and betrayed. But I only felt confused. A little numb.
“Who are you?” Tempest asked me again.
“Camber,” I said.
“This isn’t how I wanted to do this,” said Judah, running his hand through his hair. He looked stressed out.
I folded my arms over my chest. “Okay, look, there are a lot of things that I’m willing to set aside for the sake of the pack, because they’re important to me now. I feel as though they’re an extension of me and I’m an extension of them. And I can bend pretty far. But I don’t think I can handle watching you have a girlfriend, especially since you said that if I were to be with another man, it would break our mating bond. So—”
“What is she talking about?” Tempest’s voice was shrill. She looked back and forth between me and Judah.
Judah looked at his feet. He wouldn’t meet her gaze. “You must have felt it, Tempest. Earlier tonight, a shift in the power of the pack. You must have felt the addition of the female alpha.”
“No,” said Tempest.
I wasn’t clear if she was saying that she didn’t feel it or if she was just in denial. Either way, she wasn’t happy. I felt bad for her. This was incredibly shitty.
“Judah,” I said. “You should have told me.”
“You mated with her?” said Tempest. Her voice wasn’t strong.
“I had to,” said Judah. “You’ve always known that I would have to—”
“What the hell?” Tempest shook her head, and she was fighting tears.
Blood and fangs. I looked away. I felt even worse for her than I already had.
“What the hell?” Abruptly, Tempest turned and took off running, back toward the village, away from both me and Judah.
“Tempest!” yelled Judah. He started to go after her, but then he seemed to remember that I was there, and he stopped. He looked at me and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be,” I said.
“I screwed this up,” he said. “You’re right, I should have told you. I did try, but I couldn’t seem to find a way to explain it.”
“Well, now the damage is done,” I said. “I’m mated to you, and we can’t take that back.”
“What you were saying before, that’s not how things will be,” he said. “I wouldn’t ask you to… to share.” He rubbed his forehead. “I’m going to end things with her. Of course I am. You and I, we’re mated. The pack, it’s the most important thing to me. I would never risk that.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, still feeling confused and uncomfortable. And sorry for Tempest. Even a little sorry for Judah. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t feeling anything for myself.
“Look, I have to talk to her,” he said. “I just… she wasn’t expecting this. I dropped it on her out of nowhere.”
I nodded slowly. “Right, of course you do. You have to talk to her.”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m just going to go and…” He swore under his breath, unintelligibly. Then he went after Tempest, heading toward the village.
I watched him go. Okay, fine. You go, Judah. I’ll just stay here by myself in a strange place where I don’t know anyone and don’t know my way around. Sure. Perfect.
I was annoyed with him.
At the same time, the village was home, and that was unmistakable. I was sure of that. So even though the place was unfamiliar and the people were too, it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the place I needed to be. I had wanted to fling myself down the path and enter the village before, when Judah had been talking at me, but I’d had to listen to him, and now he was gone.
I could go.
So, I did. I stopped to take my suitcase out of the back of the car. It was packed entirely with clothes that I’d received from Vivia, but at least it was something. I dragged it along behind me on its wheels, and it clickety-clacked against the cobblestone road.
Within moments, I was making my way down the streets of the small village. The streets were not exactly straight, but they were plotted out as though someone had planned the place. At each corner, there were rough-hewn wooden signs with the names of the streets burned into them by a steady hand.
At the corner of Moon Street and Bane Avenue, I found a tavern from which a delicious smell was emanating. A sign in the window—this one created digitally and printed out—read, Open for Breakfast.
I pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The minute I did, I felt a sort of glowing warmth that started in my belly and spread to all my limbs. I didn’t know how to explain it. I’d never felt anything like it. It was an eclectic place, sort of a cross between a tavern and a diner. The floor was black and white checked, but the bar was rough-hewn polished wood. I peered at the
sandwich board with its hand-written-in-chalk specials. Corned beef hash and apple fritters.
A woman was behind the bar, making coffee. When I walked in, she turned around to look at me and our gazes met. She was older than me, probably in her mid-forties. She had long brown hair and warm brown eyes. She came out from behind the bar, and I could see that she was wearing a flowing blue blouse over a long patchwork skirt. She looked like a mix of a hippie and someone from the old west. She came directly to me and took both of my hands in hers.
She smiled. “Alpha.”
“Yes,” I said. I could feel her through the bond. Now that we were touching, it was even stronger. I couldn’t read her mind or anything like that, but I could sense her emotions, and they seemed to wash through me.
“Welcome home,” she said.
“Thank you.” I felt like crying again. I had never felt so at home anywhere in my entire life. The feeling of rightness was overwhelming.
“Are you hungry?” she said.
“I…” I hadn’t thought about it, but now that she mentioned it… “Starving.”
She smiled. “Have a seat.” She gestured to a nearby table. “Have a look at the menu. Have anything you like.”
I smiled too. I was bursting, and everything was wonderful.
But after I sat down, I remembered that everything with Judah was crazy and confusing now, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I squared my shoulders, and I picked up the menu. I perused it only for a minute before deciding on a sampler breakfast that had a little of everything. I was very, very hungry, actually. I hadn’t slept well the night before either and so that probably was contributing to the hunger. If I ate more, maybe it would help to make up for my lack of rest.
I should feel betrayed, but I didn’t. I supposed it was because I had yet to develop any real feelings for Judah. He was my mate, but I didn’t love him, at least not romantically.
However, I still thought he was behaving badly. I could appreciate that he’d been in a tough spot. That he’d been in a relationship with a woman who couldn’t be his mate, since he had to mate with another alpha, and that he hadn’t known how to deal with that.
A Symphony of Howls Page 10