Judah was the person she needed to be angry with, not me.
I felt so much frustration at the thought that it seemed to stir something within me, and I felt that strange sensation that I had felt when the moon had called to me, and my wolf woke up.
Now, I knew where the wolf lived inside me, and I knew that I wouldn’t need to be angry to find her again. I could travel down those same pathways and wake her up when I needed to.
But letting her out proved to be a bit more difficult than I had expected.
Mainly because it hurt a lot, and it was hard to give in to that pain and let it wash over me.
Judah kept saying that if I surrendered to the shift, it wouldn’t hurt, and I was trying to surrender, but it still hurt.
Finally, I managed to shift, slowly and painfully. It felt as though every bone in my body had shattered and that all my skin had been ripped off. I panted in wolf form, and I was ready to go to bed. I was done for the night.
But Judah insisted that I shift back to human form and try again.
I didn’t want to. I almost refused. But I decided that I would go through it just one more time.
That time was much easier than the first time.
So, encouraged, I did as Judah suggested and shifted back and forth several more times. By the time we were done, I had shifted at least ten times, and it no longer hurt at all. I could flow back and forth between my human and wolf forms at will. I felt strong and happy.
The last thing that Judah and I did was to go running through the woods in our wolf forms, chasing a small rabbit through the woods. I could hear its heart beating and when I caught it, I felt it become one with me. It wasn’t death, I understood, but a merging. We were all part of the same universe—the sky, the trees, the wolves, the rabbits, the grass. And we flowed into each other. There was no death. There was only shifting forms, like when we shifted from wolf to human. It was all part of the same process.
Euphoric, we raced back to our house and shifted back to human form. I got into my pajamas, but Judah got dressed and put on his coat.
“Are you going somewhere?” I said.
“It’s my night to take watch,” said Judah.
“Watch? Like standing around outside all night and waiting to see if something is coming?”
“Yes,” he said.
“I thought we had a protection spell.”
“We do, but we can’t rely entirely on magic,” said Judah. “We always have a team of wolves in wolf form, prowling the woods outside the village. It’s an added layer of security. You’ll have a night on the schedule as well. Everyone does.”
“All right,” I said. “I guess that’s the way things are done around here.”
“Yes,” he said.
I stood at the door and waved to him as he disappeared into the night. I felt closer still to him. There was something about shifting together today that had broken barriers between us. I felt as though I knew him quite well. He was like the boy next door, who I’d grown up with my entire life. I still didn’t feel anything romantic toward him, but perhaps that would come with time. For now, I was pleased that we were making progress. And I was happy to be more at home in my wolf skin.
* * *
I was bone tired, but I was still wired from the experience of being the wolf and eating the rabbit and running under the stars in the woods. I couldn’t get in bed yet. Instead, I sat up in the kitchen and made myself a snack, which consisted of all the sweet things in the cupboards mixed together. I had peanut butter and chocolate chips and chopped walnuts and chocolate syrup and some dried raspberries. I mixed it all up and called it cookie dough. I ate it with a spoon. It was delicious.
I was licking my spoon clean when there was a knock at the door.
Oh, no. Was it Tempest? I stiffened, preparing for the worst. But no, it wasn’t her, because I couldn’t sense a presence behind the door. Whoever was there wasn’t a wolf from my pack.
This only made me more apprehensive. Who could it be? A human member of the pack?
Or someone else? Someone dangerous?
I resolved that I would shift the minute I smelled danger, and I threw open the door.
It was Landon.
My mouth dropped open.
He gave me a lopsided smile. “Hey. How’s it going?”
I tried to shut the door.
He wedged his foot in there and then pushed me back, out of the way. He was surprisingly strong. He shut the door behind himself.
“What the hell?” I said. “How did you find me?”
He shrugged. “Wasn’t hard. I asked around, found out what part of the woods that your pack called home. Then I watched and waited. Saw you out there with your dog, running around in the woods. I followed you home.”
“My dog? You mean Judah? My mate?”
He shrugged.
“He’s not a dog. If you call him a dog, why not yourself? You’re…” I gestured. He was covered in fur all the time. He had permanent fangs. He was an animal-man. How could he possibly throw stones?
“I’m what?” he said.
I backed away from him. “If Judah’s a dog, what am I?”
He seized me by the wrist, keeping me from getting away from him. “I don’t call him that because he’s a werewolf. More because he’s mindless and tamed, like a dog.”
“There’s a protective spell,” I said. “It’s supposed to keep out people who aren’t in the pack.”
“Yeah,” he said.
“So, it doesn’t work?”
“Well, I have my ways of getting through those spells.”
I tugged on my hand, trying to get free. “Let go of me.”
“I don’t think so,” he said. “See, I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think this is the place for you. I think you need to come with me now.”
“What?” I tugged on my hand again, harder, but he just tightened his grip. “You’re done with me. You told me to have a nice life. Why do you keep showing back up again?”
“I made a promise to your sister, and I haven’t kept up my end of the bargain. You’re not safe here. You’re brainwashed.”
“I’m not brainwashed.”
“You’d stay here and fight a horde of bloodhounds if it meant saving your precious pack, wouldn’t you?” He touched his temple. “I know how it gets in your head.”
“The pack is the most important thing,” I said. “But that’s not a bad thing.”
“It is if you get killed,” he said. “And that protective spell of yours? Weak. It’s tied to the alphas of the pack, and you and dog there? You don’t have a very strong bond. Thus, you don’t have a very strong spell. If the bloodhounds find this place, it’s bad news for all of you. So, I’m getting you out of here before that happens.”
“I’m not leaving,” I said. “I’m definitely not going anywhere with you.”
“You’re acting as though I’m giving you a choice in the matter,” he said. “I’m not. You’re coming. Do you want to change, pack a bag, or just go in your pajamas?”
“Why are you doing this?” I struggled again, but I still couldn’t get free.
“I told you. Your sister—”
“You hate my sister,” I said.
“Well… I owe her,” he said.
“So, that’s all this is about?”
“Yeah,” he said, but he looked a little disconcerted by the questions I was asking. “That’s all it’s about.”
“How about we just call her, then?” I said. “I’ll tell her that I’m happy, and she’ll tell you that the debt is paid, and then we can forget about all of this.”
He considered this for a minute. Then he shook his head. “No good. I’m taking you out of here. I guess I don’t know why, exactly. I guess it has nothing to do with Desta. But I’m still doing it. I can’t let you die. I just can’t. Now, come on.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I growled. “Now, let go of me.”
“No can do,” he said, eyes flashi
ng.
I shifted. It meant that I ripped my pajamas, and I really liked them. They were made out of this silky material that was really comfortable, and I was sad that I had to do that, but there was nothing for it. He wasn’t going to be reasoned with. I had to resort to force.
He was startled to find that he was holding onto a wolf, and he dropped my hand, which was now a paw.
I tackled him, and we collided on the ground outside the door.
I snapped my jaws at his neck.
But he threw me off him before I could connect with his skin.
I landed on my back, and it hurt.
He scrambled to his feet and surveyed me, crouching, his teeth bared.
I got up on all fours and snarled at him.
“Camber,” he said in a quiet voice. “Don’t make this hard.”
I lunged for him.
He caught me in midair and threw me off him again. It was nothing to him. He was stronger than I was.
I landed badly again, and I yelped.
“Don’t fight me,” he said.
But I would fight him. I wouldn’t stop. If he tried to take me, I would run at the first opportunity. I got back on all fours again and growled some more, trying to put all of that into my stance and my flattened ears.
He raised both of his hands. “Okay, okay. I get it. I can’t just throw you over my shoulder and carry you off.”
I roared at him.
“Too bad,” he said, grimacing. “That would have made things easier.”
I rushed at him again.
“I’m going!” he said, defensive. “I’m going, all right?” He started to back up.
I pursued him.
He backed up into the woods, and I went with him until I was sure he was on the other side of the border. Not that it made much difference if he could breach the border, of course.
Damn it.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Judah came home at dawn and slept until noon.
When he woke up, he said we should go to the grocery store. He would introduce me to all the shopkeepers, and he would make sure there would be no more problems.
I didn’t tell him about Landon showing up the night before. I probably should have, because it was worrisome that he could cross the border. And if Judah had been out there, keeping watch, why hadn’t he seen the bloodhound? That was worrisome too.
But I kept it to myself, because I was beginning to feel…
Well, I wasn’t really feeling anything positive toward Landon, not exactly. Because he had no right to barge into my house and try to force me to go somewhere against my will. I was angry with him. I was freaking incensed.
But there was something else there, something confusing, and I felt strangely guilty for having Landon there, as if I’d done something to betray Judah, simply by letting the bloodhound be in the house.
I really hadn’t let him do anything, and I’d chased him off. So, it was stupid to feel guilty. It was stupid to keep it from Judah. I knew that, but I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I didn’t want to think about why it didn’t make sense. And most of all, I didn’t want to think about Landon.
So, I turned off all thoughts about the incident, and I didn’t tell Judah anything.
Landon had said he got the message. He wouldn’t come back. It was over.
Judah and I wandered around the grocery store, putting things in our cart and planning out meals for the next few days. We were each going to make dinner two nights, and we were talking about ingredients and what we would need. I was enjoying myself.
And then we rounded an aisle, and Tempest was there.
Blood and fangs, was this woman everywhere? Why couldn’t she go be somewhere else for once?
Tempest was there with another woman, who had short red hair.
When Judah and I rounded that bend, the redhead stopped short, as if she was surprised and embarrassed to see us there.
Tempest just smiled, as if she’d been planning it.
“Afternoon, Rose,” said Judah, nodding at the redhead. “Tempest.” He didn’t meet her gaze.
“Afternoon,” said Rose.
Tempest didn’t say a word to us. She became very interested in the cereal boxes on the shelves next to her.
Judah and I pushed our cart past them.
Once we were past, Tempest’s voice cut through the air, loud enough to carry through the entire store. “So, anyway, I think I saw a bloodhound at her door last night. She let it in, into Judah’s house, as if a bloodhound could be a guest. I don’t know what kind of woman Judah’s gotten himself mixed up with, but she’s going to be bad news for the entire pack.”
Judah let go of the cart and started back for Tempest.
She looked up at him, lifting her chin defiantly, her gaze smoldering.
Judah grabbed her by the arm and began talking to her in a loud whisper. I still couldn’t make out what he was saying.
Tempest ripped her arm out of his grasp and shot a hateful glance at me over Judah’s shoulder.
“Go home,” Judah shouted at her, and he came back to my side. He raised his eyebrows. “Is this true?”
I sighed. “It was Landon.”
“Landon?”
“From Vivia’s,” I said.
Judah made a face like he’d smelled something bad.
* * *
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Judah said, pacing in the living room. “You should have told me, first thing when I woke up. Fur and teeth, you should have come and found me on the watch.”
“I know,” I said. “I should have.”
“So, why not?”
“Well, I didn’t really know where you were last night—”
“Why not this morning?”
“Well, he was… gone, and I don’t think he’s going to come back, so—”
“You’re not safe,” he said. “No one in the pack is safe if he can get in. He could lead others—”
“He’s not like the other bloods,” I said. “He’s different. He’s free. I don’t think he has any particular grudge against werewolves.”
“But he got through our protection spell,” said Judah. “He shouldn’t be able to do that.”
“He got past Vivia’s enchantments too,” I said. “I think he knows things or maybe he has some kind of magic, like a magical object, or… or… I don’t know. Something. But I don’t think he’d hurt anyone.”
“He almost hurt you.”
“No, he’s trying to protect me. He’s being an ass about it, and I don’t want protected, but he’s—”
“Why are you defending him?”
“I’m not!”
Judah stopped pacing and gave me a look that said he didn’t believe me.
“I’m not,” I said again. “I don’t want to see him anymore. I got rid of him, didn’t I?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I chewed on my lip. “I don’t know.”
Judah folded his arms over his chest. “You don’t know.”
“That’s what I said.”
Judah crossed the room to the mantle above the fireplace and picked up a framed photo of a waterfall in the woods. He gazed at it.
We were both quiet.
Finally, he spoke up. “I can’t have the pack thinking you’re on the side of bloodhounds.”
“I’m not on the side of bloodhounds.”
“If he shows up again—”
“He won’t.”
“If he does, you need to get help right away. I’ll have him killed.”
“What?” I shot to my feet. “That seems extreme.”
“You’re protecting him.”
“He’s my sister’s ex,” I said. “He’s… you know, a friend.”
“He’s a bloodhound.”
I sighed. “Look, he’s not coming back anyway, so there’s no reason to talk about this.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am.”
He set down the photo he was holding. He
went over to an easy chair and sat down. He rubbed his temples. “We need to show the pack that we’re strong. That you and I are bonded. There are rumors going around because of Tempest. What she’s saying about this bloodhound aren’t going to help. So, what should we do?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “What can we do?”
“To set the minds of the pack at ease, we need to show that we’re a couple, that we’re in love, that we’re bonded.” He sighed. “There’s an ancient ritual, a bonding ritual that wolves used to have to do.”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the bonding ritual?”
“We’d have to mate in front of the pack.”
“Like… have sex? In front of other people?”
He nodded.
“No,” I said. “Find another way.”
“Maybe if Tempest saw—”
“No.”
He nodded. “Yeah, okay. I don’t really want to do that either.” He cleared his throat. “Um, not because I don’t want to, uh, be with you or anything, because you’re, um, you’re very…”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I wasn’t offended. The truth is, we can own up to it, we have zero chemistry currently, and we had pretty much the worst sex known to man.”
He grimaced.
“I mean, unless that passes for good to you?” I raised my eyebrows.
He chuckled a little, and his ears turned red. “Uh… no, I wouldn’t call it good.”
“So, if we did it in front of other people, it would be noticeably bad. Not that I would do it anyway. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t work.”
“Look, I didn’t really… try,” he said. “You know, because it was very awkward and I thought we should just get it over with, so that’s why I did it the way that I did. If you want, we could try again, and I promise that it won’t be—”
“No,” I said. Then I blushed. “Look, I don’t mean to be offensive, but the thing is, I don’t think that I’m ready to be intimate with you. I think it would be better if we worked up to doing that again.”
“Okay.”
We were quiet.
“Do we really have to do anything?” I said. “I mean, okay, so there’s unease in the pack. Big deal, right?”
A Symphony of Howls Page 13