by Jill Shalvis
He was a friend, a good one. She knew he’d give her the shirt off his back without a moment’s hesitation. That had made it easier to feel safe in Sunshine, she’d be the first to admit. And she loved Lilah. She loved Adam and the others, too, but Dell . . . From the start he’d been different. Somehow he’d burrowed deeper, gotten past her walls though she couldn’t have said how.
Or why.
But Lilah was right—something was happening between them. She didn’t know what exactly but whenever he was close, her senses went on high alert and she strained to get even closer. When he touched her, her entire body tingled.
She wanted him.
She, who hadn’t had sex in over a year and a half, wanted the guy who’d probably had sex last weekend.
It made no sense but in her mind he was changing, becoming something other than just her boss and her friend, something that was both safer and far less safe at the same time.
“Maybe you two can fall in love and get married, like me and Brady.”
“Lilah. You know I’m going back to Chicago.”
“So? We have the chopper. You’ll commute.”
Jade stood. “Would you look at the time? I’ve got to get back to work now.”
“Oh, come on, just give me a hint.”
“You want a hint?”
“Yes!”
“Abigail just pooped on your shoe.”
Lilah was still swearing when Jade made her escape.
The next night, Jade let herself into Dell’s house again. He’d left her an e-mail about another training session and she’d dropped everything to be here.
Everything being season one of My So-Called Life on DVD . . .
She found him in the gym, already stripped down to black basketball shorts and a black T-shirt, and she stared at him because he didn’t look like her boss. Or her friend.
He looked . . . hot.
He turned and their eyes met. Yearning flowed through her, yearning for a man. This man. She felt silly for staring, but he was staring, too.
“I’m wearing a cup,” he said, and she laughed. Tension broken, as she knew he’d intended.
But she still wanted him.
For two hours he reviewed joint manipulation and using an attacker’s own weight and momentum to bring him down. It was fascinating but involved close hand-to-hand contact.
Body-to-body contact.
In short, he was all over her, his hands on her body, maneuvering her into place and positions as he worked her hard, harder than she’d thought he would.
Finally she flopped to the mat flat on her back, gasping for air and sweating. “I can’t feel my legs.”
He crouched at her side, not breathing hard at all, the bastard.
“The least you can do,” she said, between gasps, “is pretend to be winded.”
“There’s no pretending between us, tough girl. If you want to be as good as me, you have to work for it.”
She laughed. “Conceited much?”
“No. Just good. Thanks to Brady.”
“Did he beat you up until you cried, too?”
“More than once. But you’re not crying. Get up. One more time.”
She wanted to whimper and curl into a ball. Instead she rolled to her feet.
“I’m going to come after you, right at you,” he said, warning her but not babying her. “You know what to do.”
She inhaled, accessed all the knowledge he’d given her, and let her brain select one of the judo moves he’d taught her. It was a lot like taking on a charging bull, but she managed to catch him when his weight shifted off his leading foot.
His momentum should have taken him down hard, but he was still better than her, and at the last second he brought her with him.
She landed on her back, with him on top. He lay along the entire length of her, his hands holding her wrists to the mat. Lifting his head, he looked down at her. The raw intensity of his dark gaze spoke to the woman inside of her. The sound of his deep voice was like a caress of warmth against her chilled skin. “Your move,” he said.
Thanks to his careful tutoring, she did have moves. She could pick one and be efficient because she wasn’t panicked.
Nope. She was something else entirely.
But he was braced, ready for her, and aroused as hell or not, she intended to win today. Hell, every time. So she picked an option that she knew he didn’t expect. Using her newfound confidence, she looked into his dark eyes and let all the yearning and heat that had been gathering for months now show in her eyes.
He immediately relaxed, his own eyes softening. “Jade.”
It was inevitable, really. They’d been in close quarters, touching and grappling and grabbing. Sweating. It didn’t get more personal than that, and another man might have taken advantage of it.
But he’d been careful not to. And he didn’t now, either. She waited until he rose lithely to his feet and reached down to pull her to hers. She gripped his hand hard with hers . . . and fell back, into a roll.
Surprised, Dell followed her completely over, and while he was still in motion, she dropped on him and set her elbow to his windpipe.
There was a long beat of silence and then Dell laughed. Jade was still enjoying the sound of that laugh when he abruptly switched their positions, rolling on top of her, once again pinned her down, his face hovering an inch from hers. “Who taught you to fight dirty?”
“You.”
He laughed again, kissed her on the tip of her nose and sprang up gracefully in one smooth motion, pulling her with him. “Just remember that all fights are dirty.” He tossed her a bottle of water and grabbed one for himself. “You did great tonight.”
“Yeah?” His praise washed through her, warming her from the inside out.
“Oh, yeah.” His eyes met and held hers. “I think you’re amazing, Jade.”
She started to look away but found she couldn’t.
“Amazing,” he repeated softly, simply, as he moved closer. “Strong as hell. Smart. Brave. Resilient.”
She opened her mouth to thank him, but her throat was too tight to speak. Once upon a time her family’s approval had meant everything to her, but though they’d always meant well, she’d arrived in Sunshine with no sense of self.
Over the last year and a half she’d started to find herself. The real Jade, and that real Jade wanted to be those very things that Dell had just said: strong, smart, brave, resilient. He didn’t use empty platitudes or pretty words, ever. He didn’t have to. So when he said something, he meant them.
And damned if she didn’t like looking at herself the way he saw her. Damned if she didn’t want to be that woman. No, he hadn’t taken advantage of their closeness. So she would. “Dell?”
“Yeah?”
She tossed her water aside and put her hands on his chest, running them northbound, winding her arms around his neck.
He went stock-still. Well, except for closing his eyes and a sexy muscle in his jaw that bunched tight. “Jade—”
“Shh,” she said, watching his lips quirk as she animal-whispered him for a change. “Just stay calm, Dell. And keep breathing. This won’t hurt, I promise.”
He let out a rough exhale that turned into a groan when she brushed her lips against his, once.
Twice.
His eyes opened, dark and intense.
Hot.
One big hand ran down her spine to rest at the small of her back; the other gripped her hip. They were inches apart from each other, sharing air.
One inch one way, Jade thought. One more inch would change everything.
Everything.
She gave a brief thought to stepping back, but it was too late.
Far too late.
So she closed the gap, absorbing the heat of him and the fact that he was so big. And hard.
Everywhere.
She let out a little hum of pleasure at that as she slid her fingers into his hair and drew his mouth back to hers.
Eleven
&n
bsp; Dell was lost in the kiss before Jade tightened her grip on him and made a soft, sexy whimper, but when her tongue touched his, desire exploded as the kiss deepened into a hot, intense connection that blew the circuits in his brain.
She moaned and melted into his body, her fingers tightening painfully in his hair. Hell, she could make him bald if she wanted, he didn’t care, just as long as she kept on kissing him just . . . like . . . that . . . God.
“Dell—”
“I know.” He dipped his head and dragged his mouth down her throat, one hand fitting low on her back, the other sliding down her leg, lifting it to his hip so he could grind against her. The insanity continued when she clutched at him and arched closer, as if she couldn’t get enough. Her hands where everywhere, running her fingers through his hair, stroking them down his neck, giving him a shiver all the way to his toes. Then she worked her way beneath his damp T-shirt and dug into the muscles there. He was already granite hard when she rocked herself against him. This was because he had no blood left in his head. He sucked in a breath and once again took her mouth with his.
Like a match on dry timber.
Her arms wound around his neck as she went up on tiptoe, molding her body to his. Yeah, God yeah. Her lips immediately parted and her tongue slid to his, hot and wet, and he groaned into her mouth as he stroked up her ribs, his thumbs lightly brushing the underside of her breasts.
Making a low purring noise, she tried to climb up his body. “Dell—”
His answer was to press her up against the wall, dragging his mouth down her throat to taste the pulse racing at the base of her neck.
She moaned and held his mouth to her skin with a hand on the back of his head, again rocking the apex of her thighs into him. He wanted to take her right there against the wall, he wanted that more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He sucked in a breath and reached for the hem of her T-shirt to rip it off when he heard someone clear their throat behind them.
Jade went stock-still, and Dell pulled his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers.
“Huh,” Adam said behind them. “The hand thing makes a lot more sense now.”
Jade tore free of Dell. Putting her hand to her lips, she stared up at Adam, her chest rising and falling like she’d just run a mile. “We—we were training.”
The corners of Adam’s mouth quirked as he rubbed his jaw, doing his best to hide his amusement. He failed. “Yeah? You could make a million bucks off a DVD of that kind of training.”
Dell gave him a shut-the-fuck-up look. Jade moved past them both and grabbed her purse.
“Jade—”
“Sorry, it’s late. I didn’t realize how late. I’ve gotta go, I have a thing . . .”
“Jade.”
But she was gone and two seconds later the front door shut somewhere above them.
“You are such an asshole,” Dell said to Adam, and shoved past him, heading for the stairs.
“Really? Because I’m not the one kissing my receptionist, the receptionist who’s clearly battling some demons.”
Dell turned around on the stairs and nearly plowed Adam over. Adam arched a brow, silent.
Dell blew out a breath. “You’re an asshole.”
“Repeating yourself. It’s the first sign of guilt, man.”
“She’s not just a receptionist. She’s . . .” More. She was much more to Belle Haven, and it was to his own shame that he’d only begun to realize it as she’d effortlessly taken over the dreaded bookkeeping with seamless ease, freeing up hours a day for him. “And I told you we were training tonight.”
“Yeah. You were training real hard.” He shook his head. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”
Dell shoved his hands in his hair. “Does it look like it?”
“You could hurt her.” Adam paused. “Don’t.”
“I—”
“Don’t.”
“You really think I’d hurt her?”
Adam just looked at him.
Okay, so he didn’t have a good track record. Who did?
“Just slow down,” Adam suggested.
Slow down? He and Jade had been co-workers and friends for a year and a half already. She was leaving in a matter of weeks. How much slower could they go? He pushed free and took a shower and a drive, and look at that, he ended up at Jade’s place. As he got out, he knew that for once Adam’s radar was off. It wasn’t Jade in danger of getting hurt.
It was him.
An hour later Jade was on her couch. She’d checked her locks, engaged her alarm, fed Beans, and had her Oceans 11 DVD in and playing. Some people knitted when stressed out over things like kissing their boss. Some people ate potato chips.
Jade watched movies with Matt Damon in them. With the movie playing in the background, she was working her way through her things-to-do-in-her-spare-time spreadsheet. This meant she was painting her toenails, reading the stack of People magazines she hadn’t yet gotten to, and catching up online with her financial obligations.
All while trying to not think about the fact that she’d thrown herself at Dell.
Because she had.
Thrown herself.
With a remembered groan and a hot blush, she covered her cheeks and closed her eyes. “This is bad,” she whispered to Beans.
“Mew.”
“I was hoping you’d disagree. Although . . .” She blew out a breath and leaned back. It’d felt good to have his hands on her. Really good. And his mouth.
God, his mouth.
It’d been too long for her, way too long. Her own doing, of course. For a long time after the attack, she hadn’t wanted to be touched. Even though she hadn’t been raped, she’d felt a disconnect from others and hadn’t wanted physical contact.
Seemed that was changing.
On the coffee table, her cell vibrated an incoming call.
“Darling,” her mother said. “You missed your weekly check-in, I was worried.”
When Jade had left Chicago, her family had threatened to come after her and drag her back. Lovingly, of course. They had only her best interests at heart, and she’d scared them.
She’d scared herself.