I’m trying to hold on to the fact that he has never lied to me… at least, not that I know of. Assuming he is telling me the truth, he won’t let anything happen to the baby and me, and right now, that is the most important thing. As much as I love the Bishop brothers, I already love the life growing inside of me just as fiercely, maybe even more.
After breakfast, one of the nurses comes in to take my tray. Smiling at me sweetly, she asks, “Is there anything else you need this morning?”
“Actually, I could use a little help going to the bathroom. The IV makes it hard to get around,” I say, glancing over at Matt, who frowns at me. I’m sure he knows what I’m up to, but to my relief, he doesn’t say anything when the nurse helps me out of bed and into the bathroom. As soon as she closes the door behind us, I turn around and look at her.
“Please, I need your help,” I whisper. “I’m here against my will. I need to make a phone call. Can I please use your cell phone?”
I see the brief shock in her eyes before she lowers her gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry. I can’t help you.” Her apology sounds genuine, and I know my father must have threatened the staff here. “I am sorry. Really.”
“It’s okay, I know you are,” I say in defeat.
“Do you need help to use the bathroom?”
“No, not really…” As soon as I say the words, she scurries out of the room, whispering another sorry on her way out.
I use the toilet on my own before brushing my teeth and washing my face. Every move I make is on autopilot, my mind too busy being worried and scared about what’s to come.
When I get back into the room, Matt is still sitting in the chair, only now he’s reclined it and his feet are propped up.
“I’m guessing she didn’t go for it?”
“My father must have really freaked her out. She couldn’t get away fast enough after I asked to use her phone.”
“You don’t give up easily, I’ll give you that. You think after three times, you would stop trying,” Matt says, tucking a blanket over himself. “I’m taking a nap; I hardly got any sleep last night with you snoring so loudly.”
“I do not snore!”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself, princess,” Matt chuckles, closing his eyes.
I crawl back into my bed, careful not to tug on the needle still sticking inside my arm. Turning on the TV, I flip through the channels, landing on some cooking show. I don’t really care about it, but I need something to take my mind off the reality I am in.
After twenty minutes, Matt starts to snore softly, letting me know he is asleep. I keep glancing at the door, wondering if my father’s guards are still there or if they left. After five minutes of inner dialogue, I talk myself into trying to leave.
Carefully, I remove the tape around the IV in my arm before pulling out the needle slowly. Blood starts to puddle on my skin, and I quickly take my bed sheet and press it onto the spot until it stops bleeding.
Trying to not make any noise, I slowly slide out of my bed and tiptoe toward the door on sock covered feet. I’m in my own clothes, which my mother brought me last night, but I don’t have any shoes. I don’t have to get far, anyway, only far enough to find someone who isn’t on my father’s payroll or has been threatened by him.
I’m almost at the door, my hand already reaching for the doorknob when I freeze. Holding my breath, I listen to a man’s voice right outside my door. A voice I know all too well.
My father. Shit.
His voice is coming closer, and I hurry back into bed with my heart pounding in my chest. I barely manage to hop back in and pull the blanket over my arm, before the door opens and my father walks in without knocking.
“Harlow,” he greets me mechanically, and I sit up straight in bed. Matt startles awake at my father’s entrance, seeming just as surprised as I am to see him here.
“What do you want from me now?”
“I actually came to talk to Matt,” he scowls at me. “However, I would appreciate it if you could stop harassing your nurses to use their phones.”
God, I want to throw something at him. Preferable something heavy.
“Matt, a word outside.”
“Sure,” Matt answers, getting up from his chair, he gives me a look that says behave on his way out.
You behave yourself. I yell after him in my head. The door closes, leaving me all alone in the room. I throw the blanket back, jump up and tiptoe back to the door, pressing my ear to the wood so I can hear better.
“Telling her you wanted the baby was stupid, Matt,” My father growls. “I don’t want her to have that child. If she wants a baby so badly, you’re gonna have to do it, I can’t watch a child of theirs grow up under my nose,” my father spits. “We are going through with the abortion. I don’t care what she wants. If she didn’t want this to happen, then maybe she should’ve kept her legs closed.”
Fear trickles down my spine. No! He can’t! There is no way I’ll let him do this, and if he does, then I’ll never forgive him.
Matt’s voice cuts through, “I’m worried about her, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this. Harlow and I are in a good place now. She’s just started to warm up to me, and doing this would mess everything I’ve worked toward. You don’t have to do this. I’ll raise the baby as my own. No one has to know who the father is, and no one would dare question my family and me.”
“I’ll know, and that’s all that matters! And I don’t care about feelings. I care about my reputation, and what this will do to me, and so should you. It’s already been decided. We’re going through with this. End of story.” My dad barks, and I stagger back.
The door opens a moment later, my father and Matt appearing in front of me with three nurses right behind them. Two females and one male. Shaking my head profusely, I watch Matt’s face contort into a mixture of both sorrow and shame.
He can stop this. I know he can, so why isn’t he?
“No, you can’t do this!” I scream and take a few steps back, only to hit the wall. I’m trapped. There is no place to go. “Please,” I beg, but no one listens. Their faces are blank like they’re not even here mentally.
The male nurse grabs one of my arms so tightly, I know there will be bruises. Still, I struggle, trying my best to fight them off. I won’t go down without a fight.
“Please don’t do this,” I look to my father who is staring at me with nothing more than disappointment in his eyes. He’s supposed to be my father. He’s supposed to care about me. How could he do this? To me? To his unborn grandchild, and all because of a last name?
“You brought this on yourself, Harlow,” my father says, his voice clipped.
Tears sting my eyes, and I wince when the female nurse grabs on to my other arm, her fingers biting into my flesh with the same harshness.
It’s then that I spot the syringe in the third nurse’s hand. No. No. I shake my head, wishing that this was nothing but a bad dream.
Subdued against the wall, I watch helplessly as the needle pierces through my skin, pain followed by a cold tingling sensation spreads through my veins. “Stop!” I scream as loud as I can, my throat throbbing.
Even with the syringe empty and the fact that I’ve given up fighting, the nurses still hold on to me like I’m going to bolt for the door, then again, if they released me, I would do just that.
“Okay, that’s enough. Let her go,” Matt growls the look in his eyes is murderous, and immediately the hands on me disappear, but I can still feel them. Still, feel the pain. Still, feel the needle in my arm.
My body starts to sag toward the floor like goop, but Matt steps in and grabs me at the last minute. His arms come around my waist, supporting most of my weight, and I can’t help but seek his comfort in that moment.
He’s the only thing I have right now, the only person who cares if I live or die. And as badly as I want to hate him, in this moment, I can’t bring myself to. We’re both pawns in this war. Burying my face into his chest, I start to cry. Sobbi
ng uncontrollably, I can feel the medication they gave me kicking in. My limbs are getting heavier, and my mind fuzzier by the second.
“You promised…” I whimper, clutching on to his shirt. A warmth courses through me, my cheeks heat, and my whole body starts to tingle. All the discomfort in my body starts to fade.
“I know,” Matt whispers back. I’ve lost all hope now. I’m going to lose this baby; this tiny little human is going to be taken from me before I even get the chance to tell the guys about it. Leaning down, he nuzzles his face into my hair. “I need you to trust me, okay. I won’t let this happen. I’ll find a way to fix this.”
Shaking my head, I try to speak, but my tongue feels heavy.
I want to tell him that I wish I could believe him. That I want to believe him and his words so badly, but I can’t. I can’t trust anyone. Still, a part of me hangs on to the hope that maybe, just maybe he won’t let me down this time. But how? How can he help me? How can he stop this from happening? He said so himself, he won’t go against my father. No one will. Not the hospital staff, not Matt, not the Bishops. I’m doomed. My child will die, and there is nothing I can do about it. Spots form over my vision, and no matter how much I try to hang on to that last shred of light, it slowly dims out, getting lighter and lighter.
My last thought before everything goes black is that I hope the guys will forgive me for this. Forgive me for failing to protect our child.
When I wake up, the same heaviness I felt earlier remains in my limbs, and the fuzziness engulfing my mind only increases. I feel like my brain has been run through a blender and has been poured back into my skull, but even with my head being in utter disarray, I remember what happened before I passed out.
The pain in my chest only gets more prominent, the emptiness expanding and leaving a hollow space behind.
I pry my eyes open, just to squeeze them shut again when I see my father standing at the end of the bed. I thought I hated him before, but the hatred I feel for him has grown into a colossal amount over the last few hours. I can’t put into words how much I despise my father for doing this, how much I loathe him for taking this child from me… for killing the life inside of me.
I never considered myself a violent person before, but if I had the strength to do so now, I would kill him. If I never again see this man who called himself my father, I would be a happier person… that is if I can ever find happiness after what was done to me.
“I’ll leave you to deal with this,” my father’s voice cuts through the fog surrounding my head like clouds surround the top of a mountain. “Since you two seem to get along so great now,” he continues, and for a moment, I don’t understand who he is talking to.
“We did get along, but after what you did to her, she is never going to trust me again,” Matt barks.
“Trust is overrated. There are other ways to keep people in line. More effective ways,” my father declares. I can hear him turn, his expensive leather shoes making a squeaking sound against the hospital floor as he does. I listen to each of his steps as he is leaving the room. The door opening and closing, leaving me alone with the man who promised to keep my child and me safe.
I didn’t realize how cold I was until a large warm hand comes down to rest on my icy cold fingers. Even though the warmth feels good on my frozen skin, I pull my hand away at once, not wanting to feel an ounce of relief and comfort. Because I don’t deserve either one. I deserve to be cold, alone, and in pain after I failed… I failed everybody I loved.
“Harlow,” Matt whispers as he tries to capture my hand once more. Again, I pull away, and when he tries to touch my cheek, I turn my face away as well.
“Don’t touch me,” I croak, barely able to make the words come out at all.
“Harlow, listen to me…” Matt pleads with me, but all I do is shake my head. “Open your eyes and look at me.”
“No,” I sob, realizing I’m already crying again. Tears roll down my cheeks, leaving cold tracks behind. “Leave…”
“I won’t leave you here,” Matt tells me as he places a hand on my stomach. My eyes fly open in shock, and a wave of all-consuming anger engulfs me. How dare he touch me there… how dare he touch me at all?
Like a wild fury, I start shoving at his arm, slapping, scratching, and hitting him wherever I can, letting out all the burning anger inside of me.
“I said, don’t fucking touch me! I hate you!”
Matt catches my flailing arms mid-air, wrapping his fingers around my already sore wrists and pinning them next to my body.
“Listen, Harlow!” Matt whisper yells. “Just listen! It didn’t happen, okay?”
It didn’t happen? What is that supposed to mean? Is he telling me to just forget about it? Forget what he and my father did to me?
“Do you feel any pain?” he asks next. “Any discomfort?”
Other than the suffocating ache in my chest, he means? “Yes, my whole damn body hurts.”
“But your stomach doesn’t hurt, does it?”
I blink some of the tears away, trying to look at his face, and make sense of what he’s trying to tell me. A smile tucks on his lips, and when I finally stop fighting him, he released my wrists. No, now that I’m concentrating on feeling each part of my body, I realize that he is right. My lower abdomen doesn’t hurt, and there is no soreness between my legs. If I’d had an abortion, wouldn’t I feel both?
“The baby?”
“Still inside of you,” Matt says. “I paid off the doctor. He just pretended to do the abortion. The baby is fine.” I watch his face carefully, looking for any indication that he is lying, but his eyes are genuine, his smile is kind, and his voice is gentle.
“I’m… I’m still pregnant?” I ask again, needing to confirm, even though deep inside, I already know the answer.
“Yes, you are still pregnant, and now with your dad off your back, you should be able to stay that way too.”
I tuck my arm under the blanket to put my hand on my still flat stomach, rubbing the skin there like the baby could somehow feel it. “Why? Why did you help me?”
“I told you I would. What your dad did was unforgivable, and I couldn’t watch him go through with it. He went too far, even for my standards, and I’m a pretty big asshole.”
I used to think so too. I thought Matt was a huge jerk, and maybe he still is by other standards, but after he risked going against my father to help me, I can’t feel anything but gratitude toward him.
“So, what now? He is going to find out eventually.”
“Honestly, I haven’t thought that far ahead. I don’t know how to get you out of here without your father knowing I helped you.”
“Thank you, really, thank you, I don’t know how I can ever repay you for what you did. It’s not your fault that my father is this way, and I’m not your responsibility. I’m no one’s responsibility. Not even the Bishops. I will get out of this on my own. I will fight my father. I won’t let him control me and the people around me anymore. I won’t let him continue using you, or anyone else for that matter. I’m going to be the one to put an end to his reign.”
“This is dangerous, Harlow, going against your father. He has resources, money, people.” Matt sounds almost afraid, and that strikes something inside of me. Even the most powerful of people have a weakness, and while my father has all the things he needs to destroy me, I have the determination needed to fight back.
I’m done being afraid. Done worrying about what might happen next. If I don’t, at least try to fight him, I’ll never escape. I’ll never really be free.
“I can’t stay here, Matt, I can’t stay with you, you know that. Not only because of the baby, but because of my father. I won’t be stuck under his thumb. I won’t be married off or tossed away like garbage.”
Matt scrubs a hand down his face in frustration, and a little piece of my heart feels bad for putting him in this situation.
“I won’t force you to do anything, and I’ll do what I can to help you, but I can’t ma
ke any promises,” he finally says.
“That’s all I’m asking for. That’s all I need. I’ll do the rest on my own.”
Now all I need to do is come up with a plan.
44
Neither one of my parents came back to the hospital today, and I am more than happy they didn’t. I don’t think I could stand to be in the same room with either one of them right now.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay on your own?” Matt asks for the third, and hopefully, final time.
“Yes, I promise. They need you at that meeting so go to work. I’ve held up enough of your time.” The truth is, even though I now value Matt’s company, I want him to leave. I don’t want my father to think that he helped me escape. The last thing I want is anyone else to get hurt.
“I’ll only be a few hours, then I’ll come back and pick you up. Your father has reluctantly agreed on you staying with me,” Matt says while slipping his arms into his jacket.
“Okay...” I try to force a smile when he glances my way, but I don’t think it’s very convincing.
“You know, your dad has two guards posted outside that door at all times?” Matt sighs. Of course, he’s figured it out. He’s intuitive like that. I’m glad he’s not trying to stop me.
“I know. I mean, I figured. Thanks for the heads up.”
“Be careful, Harlow,” Matt warns, but it’s not the threatening kind of warning, is more like the concerned kind of warning. He stops at the door, his hand already resting on the doorknob when he turns around to look at me one more time.
“Good luck,” he says, just loud enough for me to hear it.
“Goodbye, Matt,” I murmur, not sure when or even if I’ll see him again.
The door closes, and I’m left in the large empty hospital room on my own. Loneliness and dejection creep up on me, like shadows in the night, trying to pull me into darkness. I try not to let them get to me, knowing that this is only a momentary state. I am not really alone, not as long as I have people who love me out there waiting for me, probably worried sick about me.
The Bayshore Rivals: The Entier Series Page 40