I furrow my brow, reaching back and trying to recall what he’s referring to. I shake my head and when he starts to explain, I cut him off. “Wait!” I pause as the fuzzy memory comes into focus. “Did I… Were we doing De Niro quotes?” He just nods. “Holy crap, I remember that.”
“‘Someday a real rain will come…’” he starts.
“‘…and wash all this scum off the streets,’” we both finish and laugh.
We’re quiet for a few moments then. No matter what he’s told me, I can’t help but feel bad for all that came after. “I’m sorry I never checked on you… I mean when I was able.”
“Hey, I get it.”
“So, what was the final verdict for you?”
“You mean besides not dying? Damn sure that’s what would have happened if it wasn’t for you.”
I give him a look to tell him to continue.
“Lost a few non-vital organs, a finger”—he holds up his right hand to show me where the pinkie finger is missing—“but that don’t matter. I don’t need any of that back. What I got back today means the most.” He puts an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a side hug. “I’ve been waiting three years to say this. Thank you, Logan.”
“Like I said, you’d have done the same.”
He releases me and places his arm casually across the back of the bench. “Missed you, man.”
“Yeah, I missed you too.” The moment feels like it was plucked from my past and dropped right into my current universe. Though it brings me comfort, it’s laced with sadness, regret. I try not to latch on to the negative, especially after he’s worked so hard to get us here. “So, what’ve you been up to?”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring box.
“Hey, I didn’t miss you that much.”
He shakes his head and his loose curls brush his shoulder. “I’m asking my girl to marry me.”
“Stacy?” My surprised tone comes out before I can mask it.
“Nah. I was pretty messed up when I got back, plus she was kind of a bitch.”
I raise my brows in silent agreement.
He smiles. “But Jessica…she’s my angel. We have a little place in Fallbrook. Quiet, woodsy. Now I’m gonna make it official. He hits me across the chest. “And I expect your ass at the wedding.”
“You get a haircut and I’m there.” I chuckle.
“How about you? Anyone special in your life.”
I pull in a hunk of breath. “That’s a good question. There was— What?”
He’s giving me that parental scowl as if he knows I’ve done something wrong. “It’s been a long time. But I still think I know you, man. You need to make it right.”
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure how. I was just figuring it out and then…”
“Then what?”
“You. This.” Suddenly I feel emotional and my eyes burn. I nod. “Thanks, Jennings.”
“Besides being a pain in your ass, I didn’t do much.” His wide grin projects more than happiness. In it I see hope and friendship. “But if it makes you feel better, we can call it even.”
I dip my head and reach my hand for him to take. “Even.”
Chapter 27
Logan
I roll down the window when the hotel comes into view, the crisp coastal air dragging across my face. Oddly, it makes me think of Mollie even though she and I have never gone to the beach together. I’m sure it’s because literally everything makes me think of her.
“Hotel Pacific seems a little upscale for us. What are we, on our honeymoon?”
“Relax. I’m writing it off,” Mason, says, pulling into the lot.
“You’re writing it off? Or your sugar momma is paying for it?”
“Screw you. Megan and I have a mutually beneficial relationship.”
“Damn, that’s so romantic.”
He stops the car and glares at me. “You know what I mean. I really like her.”
“That’s powerful stuff, dude. Let me know when I should rent my tux.”
“You’re being a jack-ass, considering I just drove you almost three hundred miles.”
I click out of my seatbelt, ready to jump out. “Sorry. I’m just so amped up right now.”
The drive to Monterey took about four hours. I can’t help but worry if I should have at least texted Mollie a heads up I was coming. But considering she didn’t answer my last couple attempts to reach out, I was afraid of what she might say. Actions speak louder than words, and I know this is the only way to really get through to her. Plus, the thought of seeing her, touching her, catapulted me into action. When Mason found out where I was going, he offered to drive me, saying he’d been planning a trip this way to meet with some contacts he made through The Meyers group.
This is the most time I’ve spent with my brother since we were both in school, and we spent most of the time reminiscing and sharing stories from our lives from when we were apart. Mason didn’t even give me a guilt trip when we talked about the time I left to join the Army, and I was grateful to hear more about what he did for the family and the business, some of which I knew.
I really didn’t have a plan when I set off on this trip, so once we get check into our room, I sit on the edge of the bed and just stare at the closed door.
“You know I only reserved the room for one night,” Mason says behind me. Knowing him, he’s probably hanging the clothes he perfectly folded last night to bring with him.
“If all goes well, I won’t be staying here so…”
“Maybe we’ll both have good news.”
It’s a little selfish of me to not give a damn about his meeting. The opportunity sounds great, and yes, it’s because of Megan, but I’m not digging her in my brother’s life. She’s too much like him and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
I stand and head to the door. “The hospital isn’t far. I’m going to grab an Uber over there. If I’m not back before you go, good luck.”
He gives me one head nod. “You too, Logan.”
When I reach for the door, he comes around the bed. “Hold up.” Placing a hand on my shoulder, he gives me the look of a father instead of a brother. “I don’t know her that well, but Mollie’s a lucky girl. And no matter what goes down today, I’m proud of you. You’re a good brother. A good man, and if it doesn’t go your way—”
“It will…but thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
He backs away and I pull open the door. “And for the record, I’m proud of you too.”
I walk out before we both get too sappy or one of us starts pretending we’ve got allergies.
The ride to the hospital passes in a blur and déjà vu hits me as the entrance doors slide open and deliver me into Mollie’s world. My nerves turn to excitement as I follow the signs to the information desk. This hospital is much smaller than ours so when the woman behind the desk tells me she can’t tell me which floor Mollie works on, I simply thank her and move on. I don’t even have the patience to wait for the elevator and run up the stairs to the second floor.
No one seems to know her here, so I head up to the third of three floors, feeling trepidation creep into my enthusiasm. I head down a short corridor, glancing through open doorways as I pass each room. Someone at the end is clearly in pain, their screeching becoming louder as I approach. The pain seeps into my chest, bringing up a faint memory of visiting my mom in the hospital. I heard her crying out just like that when my father brought Mason and me to visit, but when we got in the room, it was as if our mere presence lifted the pain away. As I grew older, I became aware of her bravery and admired and appreciate how her love for us made her strong. I didn’t live up to that with Mollie, but as I increase my steps down the hall, I know I will change all that. I stop in front of the nurses’ desk but no one seems to be around.
“Can I help you?”
I turn to find a tall guy with broad shoulders you wouldn’t expect to see in scrubs.
“I’m looking for a nurse. Mollie Fisher.”
He’s shaking his he
ad before I even finish. Then he looks over my shoulder and bumps his chin up. “Sheila can probably help you. She knows everyone.”
Sheila is pushing a cart in my direction and I meet her halfway. The older woman with white hair greets me with a sweet smile as she walks around the side of her cart. “Did I hear you ask about Mollie?”
“Yes. Is she here today?” I find myself holding my breath when her expression tells me she’s about to disappoint me.
“I’m sorry she’s not.” Her short haircut brushes her cheek as she shakes her head.
“Do you know when she works next?” I can see her hesitation and I don’t blame her. She doesn’t know me or why I’m there. “Please, I’ve come a long way and I really need to see her. I’m a…friend.”
She glances over her shoulder nervously and then stares at me for a moment. “I’d say you’re more than a friend, Logan.”
I raise my brows and I don’t know if it’s embarrassment or surprise but I smile. “You know me?”
She gestures to a room with chairs and a TV and I follow her over. It’s empty but the TV is on a home improvement show. We don’t sit and she positions us so she can see the door. “Saw you on that warrior show. Mollie told me about you.”
“Great.” I brighten and fill my lungs with a relieved breath. “So, you know you can—”
“I’m sorry, Logan. Mollie’s gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“She was offered the full-time position here but she turned it down.”
My relief short-lived, I try to process what she’s saying. “Do you know if she went back home? Is she with her parents or…”
She looks at me like I’m a patient and she’s giving me bad test results. “I’m sorry. She took another job.” She hesitates and I go closer, needing to hear what I don’t want to hear. “She left the country. Took a traveling nurse position.”
“No… When— Do you know where?”
“That’s all I know.”
I freeze for a second and Sheila touches my arm. I realize in that moment how long it’s been since I had the comfort of a mother. “Is there anything I can do?”
This sweet woman would probably take me into her arms right now, but I steel the pain rushing to take hold and I step back. “No, thank you.” I walk backward and try to give her some semblance of a grin. “I’m sorry I took so much of your time.”
She raises her hand and opens her mouth to say something but seems to change her mind and just nods.
My brain whirls as I head to the exit. I take a seat on a bench just outside and notice a large gray metal statue of a woman with a child at her breast. I squint at it, wondering why I didn’t notice it on the way in. I pull out my phone and press it awake, staring at the screen as if I don’t know how to work it. Do I try calling her again? What would be the point? She’s obviously given up on me. I tap open my photo album and swipe through some images of Mollie. Her doing a selfie on my bed. Her and Justice hanging upside down from the bars on the obstacle course at the gym. Mollie reading to Belle. That one she didn’t know I was taking.
Suddenly the pain and confusion I feel inside burns into anger, and I slam the phone against the bench seat next to me. Dropping my face into my hands, I concentrate on my breathing, try to rein in my frustration. Because, damn it, I’m not angry at her. This all happened because of me. My eyes closed, I take slow deep breaths. After a moment, I look up and gaze at the statue again. It’s the beginning of life for that baby. No heartache or war, mistakes or regrets. I’d love to start over like that.
A chuckle escapes me when I think of my meeting with Jennings and realize we all have the power to start over. Maybe not a completely clean slate but definitely a second chance. The opportunity to build anew. Even if we are building on the memories and lessons learned in the past.
And then my grin grows wider when I realize this little breakdown didn’t pull me back to the devastation of war. It was simply about life. My life. Right now. I pick up my phone from beside me and scoff at the two cracks going diagonally across it.
Mollie might be gone for now. But everything in life is temporary and when she comes back, we can start over. I could walk up to her like in those movies and stick my hand out and say, “Hi, I’m Logan. Nice to me.”
“Screw that,” I say to no one. I don’t know where that momentary lapse into La La Land came from but the moment I see Mollie again, I’m going to pull her into my arms and never let go.
But how long am I supposed to wait? What do I do now? I don’t have a goddamn clue at this point. The only thing I know for sure is that I can’t believe she didn’t say goodbye.
Chapter 28
Logan
The house is quiet when I walk in, and it feels strange I don’t know the exact whereabouts of every member of my family. Dad and Gramps figured I wouldn’t return until tomorrow at the earliest and assured me the schedule, the kids, would be taken care of. Still, I texted Gramps to let him know I was heading back.
I drop my bag at the door when I see the light coming from the living room, hoping Gramps is not asleep in his chair. My whole body is stiff and my leg and knee throb from sitting that long in the car in one day. I just couldn’t bear the thought of staying there a minute longer, knowing Mollie was gone. Mason will stay an extra day and go back with Megan.
“You made good time,” Gramps says, looking relaxed in his chair.
I notice the TV is off. “Where you waiting up for me? I told you not to.”
“I wasn’t waiting, but I’m glad you made it home okay. Long drive alone with your thoughts.”
“Yeah, I guess you were wondering what happened.”
“I’ve got an idea,” he says, nodding. “But, Logan—”
“Gramps.” I run a hand through my hair. “I know I’ve been sitting on my ass all day today, but I’m still exhausted. I thought I wanted to talk but now I’m thinking tomorrow?”
Gramps slowly eases out of his chair and comes to stand in front of me. He puts a hand on my shoulder and fixes a wise gaze on me I’ve seen countless times before. “You’re a good man. You went to get your woman and it didn’t quite work out the way you wanted. But, like I always tell you. These things happen the way they were meant to.”
Anyone else said that to me and I’d pop off with a sarcastic comment. But something in the gleam of his eyes tells me to just nod at the old man and let him go off to bed. He lingers a moment longer and a smile materializes on his face. He appears confident and as he’s always been able to do, he actually makes me feel better. “Thanks, Gramps. I appreciate you waiting up.” I pat the hand he has on my shoulder before he slips it off and turns to walk away.
As he heads toward the hall, he says over his shoulder, “Told you, I wasn’t waiting up.” Then he passes the doorway to the kitchen, and my heart stops. My breathing stops. Time…stops. He was right, all that time alone with my thoughts messed with my head. I can’t think of any other logical reason for what I’m seeing. Mollie is standing in the doorway. She squeezes gramps’s hand and he continues on down the hall.
She slowly steps toward me and my mouth falls open. I will myself to take in a breath. “Mollie,” I whisper as if I’m confirming her presence to myself. So many questions swim through my brain, but I push them all aside, close the distance between us, and do exactly what I told myself I would do. I take her into my arms, her soft, warm body so inviting. She melts into me like we’d perfected the move with endless practice.
“I missed you so much,” she whispers into my neck.
I pull back because I need to see her face. I place both my hands on her cheeks and rub my right thumb over her dimple. She grins and closes her eyes.
“Tell me this is real,” I say, putting my mouth against her lips. And before she can answer, I kiss her, slowly. Then I touch my lips to hers over and over, confirming just how real she is, the contact filling me with emotions I can’t quite decipher. Confusion and relief. Excitement and anxiety. But most impor
tantly—love.
When I feel her hand take hold of my wrists, I pull back from the kiss. “What happened? I thought you left the country.”
Her soft gray eyes peer into mine, welcoming me home, assuring me she’s not only here but here for me. “I tried. I even went to the airport, intending to go but when they called my flight…” Those beautiful pearly eyes glass over in an instant, the pain evident. “I couldn’t do it. No matter what was happening between us, I couldn’t leave you. I just sat there. And then I started crying. I don’t even know how long I sat there.”
“I’m so sorry, Mollie. I should never have made you feel…” My hands slip to her arms and I look down. “I know this my fault. I didn’t fight for you.”
She gives me a small nod and it breaks my heart.
“Mollie, I didn’t want to keep hurting you. I wanted to give you every piece of me, and I didn’t feel like…a whole man.”
“You know I don’t care about your—”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not talking about my leg.” I release my hold on her. “I’m talking about here”—I point to my head—“and here”—I point to my heart, mimicking the actions of a wise old man.
“But I’m the one who made you feel like that. I should have been stronger, told you sooner.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. You did what you thought was right. And I couldn’t live my life running and wondering. What happened to me…it’s part of who I am. And I’m done trying to keep the memories at bay.”
Her hand takes mine and she laces our fingers together. “But you’re already starting to remember, right?”
“Yes, some. I have so much to tell you about. So much I was wrong about.” I want to share what Jennings told me, but I also don’t want to make this all about me. “And I promise to tell you everything, but right now, I just want to talk about us. There is an ‘us’ right? That’s why you’re here?”
“Yes.” She beams with every feature on her face.
“But, I called and you didn’t call me back. Last I heard from you— What?”
Building Bridges (Bridges Brothers Book 1) Page 22