Chapter 29
Freedom
I think I’m ready for this. It’s time to tell Nathanial everything. I’m ready for what he is about to ask.
“Okay, Sophia. I want you to know. I’m in love with you, and nothing can change that! But I do know there are things you are hiding from me. I want complete honesty,” he requests.
It takes every ounce of strength I have to not get up and run, but Nathanial calms me. He holds my hand and I instantly feel the peace he puts over me. “Yes, there are things I’ve been hiding from you, and for that I apologize. It’s just that these are not only my secrets, but my family’s secrets, and I have never shared them with anyone–at least not without my family.” I take a deep breath, not knowing if I can continue.
Nathanial opens his brother’s history book to the picture of me. “I know this is you somehow. I would know you anywhere, and I feel it. Plus, I recognize your entire family. I just don’t understand how it’s possible. Your family has not aged a day since this photograph was taken.” He sighs and adds, “Since the attack, I have had two different memories. One is just like we told everyone, but when I dream about it, I see it differently. I see Alex moving at unbelievable speeds and you healing me. My injuries were much worse than they are now. I remember feeling my body repairing itself, from the inside out. I have seen your eyes change color before. They go from the most beautiful green to jet black whenever you are around blood. You always seemed chilled, and you are pale most of the time. I have noticed your incredible strength, and you are so much more educated than anyone I know, especially in history. I know you are different, but I just don’t understand how any of this is possible.”
“Okay. I will explain everything. I only hope what I tell you will not change your feelings for me, because you mean the world to me. I also need you to promise that you will keep my family’s secret, whether you decide to stay with me or not.”
“I not only promise to keep your secret, but also that I will always love you, and nothing will ever change that,” he tries to reassure me.
“This is not easy for me to explain. I really have never shared this with anyone before.”
“I understand. Just take your time,” he says peacefully.
So I take another deep breath and begin my explanation. Here I go, I tell myself and Alexander. “You are right. That is my family in the picture you saw. We saved Matilda from the persecution of witches in the late 1800’s.” I pause momentarily. “I was born in Italy in 1876. I was attacked in the streets one night by a vampire.” I try to read his reaction, but I am more scared than I have ever been in my afterlife, and I can’t tell what he is thinking, so I decide to continue. “Alexander was also out that night, headed to our family home. He found me and tried to save me, but the same vampire attacked him. Elijah, Florence, Isaac, and Constance found us. They were vampires that followed the six traditions. They decided to save us by giving us a few drops of their blood, and we began to make the transformation. They taught us how to live as vampires and to feed off animals and not cause harm to mortals when we feed from them. It’s not as satisfying to drink only animal blood, but it keeps us strong enough. That is why we tried to safely supplement with human blood. We have all killed a human by drinking too much blood before, but it has been many years ago. My family has morals, and we find it more difficult to kill a human than most vampires. My family has found a new way to feed now, and that includes a mixture of animal and donated human blood.” I sigh, “Well that is a quick basic explanation of my family.” I notice the blood flush out of his cheeks, and his skin turns pale.
“Okay, so you and your family are vampires? Um, that is not quite what I expected to hear; honestly I’m not really sure what I expected. Are there other vampires out there?” he asks.
“Yes. They are all over the world, and not many choose to live the way we do. I also had another brother named Caspian, but things went bad for him, and he left, disappearing into the shadows,” I explain, wondering what he’ll do with this information.
“I think I can be okay with it. I’m not afraid of you or your family. I know you won’t hurt me, or at least I don’t think you would hurt me...or should I be scared? I knew it was something. I just didn’t know what,” he admits with a hint of panic that he tries to conceal from me.
“No. You do not need to fear anyone in my family. You should just because of what we are, but we will never harm you, Nathanial. Quite the opposite, actually we want to protect you.”
“So how is it you live normally? What about all that burning or sparkling in the sun or whatever?” he asks with a half laugh.
“Sparkling vampires? That’s just for the movies. Burning is real, though, but my family has these things called day crystals–a magickal black diamond. A powerful witch placed a spell on them to help us live more like mortals. With the power of this crystal, we can eat human food, go out in the sun, look more mortal, and it helps us control our cravings.” I show him my necklace. “As I mentioned, the necklace I wear is special. We all have some kind of jewelry with this special and rare gemstone in it. Matilda has a bracelet, Florence a broach, and Constance has earrings. Even the men have something. Alexander has a watch, Elijah a pair of cufflinks, and Isaac has a tie clip. Caspian had a ring that he gave back to us when he left. Once Danika was ready, Elijah lent her the ring. See, she is new to our family. Constance found her about eighteen months ago. We recently got her a day crystal of her own. There are others in the world that have the gem and those who don’t have it want it. Without this little black gem, things would be a whole lot different for my family.”
At this point, I am becoming concerned about his lack of reaction. He seems to be processing the information I just shared with him. He appears to be slightly concerned and maybe even a little disbelieving.
“Okay, so vampires are real, but so are witches?” he questions.
“Yes, and so much more, but I hope I can explain all that later. There is so much to learn, but I hope we have lots of time for explaining.” I become wishful. “Please promise me, no matter what you decide about me from this point on, that you will not tell anyone–not even your family,” I beg.
And then he leans over and kisses me. “Thank you for being so honest with me. I understand how hard it must have been for you.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “How are you doing with all this? It is kinda a lot to take in.”
“Strangely enough, I’m okay. I want to know it all, and I want you in my life. I told you nothing will ever change my feelings for you, and I meant it,” he reassures me.
I can’t believe it was that easy. He just accepts me for who I am. I don’t see one judgmental look coming from him–only love. How is it that even now, after he knows what I am, he still loves me? How can he love a killer? Nathanial is even more incredible than I ever imagined. How did I get so lucky? Then I remember something that can end it all over again.
“There is one problem. Because my family does not age, we have to move around a lot. We can only stay in one place for a few years, a decade at most.” I lower my head and add, “I want to keep you in my life and I just don’t see how it’s possible. Worst of all, you could get hurt. The only thing that kept me from feeding on you when you were bleeding in my arms was the fact that I love you so much.” I lift my head and look at him with complete shame.
“It is okay, sweetie, I know you won’t hurt me, and I trust you completely.” He kisses my hand that he continues to hold tightly. “And you can trust me with your secret,” he confirms. “Can you tell me about your other brother, Caspian was it? What went so wrong with him?” Nathanial asks.
“Well, that is a tough one to explain. Caspian has been gone for many years now. It is really hard for all of us, so we don’t talk about it or him much. We lived in northern Canada at the time, and Caspian was a college student. He was eternally twenty-two years old, but he had been around since the seventeenth century. When Caspian met my
family, he had grown tired of his ways; he wanted to find a new way to survive.” I begin to explain, “My family agreed to take him in and teach him how to survive without causing harm to humans. He was doing great. He got a day crystal just like the rest of us and began going to school, and sometimes he would work like a normal member of society. Caspian wrote for the college paper and was enjoying his new life. Then he met Ashley, and they fell madly in love. She was mortal, and he kept our secret from her. Caspian found it very difficult, because he loved her so much, but he had a difficult time resisting her,” I continued.
“Okay, so it’s similar to us. The thing is, he did not confide in her like you just confided in me,” Nathanial observes.
“Yes, and that is what concerns me. One night, Caspian and Ashley became intimate, and this is where problems arose. Caspian did not realize what his reaction would be. He had been intimate before, but always with another vampire who could handle his strength and not get injured. While they made love her heart started to pound harder and faster, and her scent became stronger. He could not handle it and became rough with her. He was biting, her tasting her blood, and in the end, he accidentally killed her.” I bow my head, hoping I will never go through what Caspian did. “It was only recently my family shared the entire story with me. I always knew they were keeping something from me but they didn’t feel I needed the details until I had met you.”
“What happened next?” Nathanial asks.
“Caspian could not deal with what he had done. He was so ashamed and could not face the family. He decided to leave. We haven’t seen him since. I sometimes think I see him keeping an eye on us, but he never approaches any of us.” I sigh.
“I can tell you miss him.” Nathanial pulls me closer.
“I do, but most of all, I’m scared that I could do the same to you,” I admit.
“Sophia, I’m not concerned. You need to give yourself more credit. If you were going to harm me, the night of the attack would have been your chance. I was bleeding all over the place. You resisted my blood when it was spilling out all around you. I just wonder why you didn’t just turn me. Then you would not have to worry. You can do that, right? Turn me in to a vampire?” he questions.
“I easily could have, but it would have been completely selfish. You have a great life and family that loves you. I would never want to take any of that away from you or your family. And yes, I did resist your blood that night, but it was not without temptation. My love for you just happened to win out over my hunger for your blood,” I say with brutal honesty. Am I trying to scare him away?
“See. Right there you proved that you are stronger than Caspian was. You made the choice to save me rather than kill me, and for that I thank you. How could I not trust you? If you can resist while faced with such a temptation, you can do anything,” he encourages.
“Nate, I just don’t know if you fully understand. Your blood, your scent is so amazing. You appeal to me more than anything. Have you heard of pheromones? ’Cause that is kinda what is happening here, each person emits their own personal fragrance and as a vampire I am more sensitive to this. You are everything I want and need all wrapped up in a perfect body.” I guess part of me hopes he will reject me so that he will be safe forever.
S S S
Over the next few hours, we talk about my family and some of the things we have been through. We don’t get through everything, as that will take a century. I do cover the basics and answer any questions he has. He holds me with such love and admiration.
“How can you love someone like me? I have been damned. I have killed people before, and all the remorse I have can never change that. It’s part of me. It’s my nature to kill,” I say.
“Because I love you more than life itself, and you can’t choose who you love,” he explains. “All the rest, we’ll figure out. We will be together forever,” he insists.
It’s extremely freeing to open up to Nathanial, and I feel so relaxed by it. He turns on the television. There isn’t much on tonight, so we just snuggle together. He eats the pizza we ordered, and for once, I don’t feel obligated to eat for the sake of appearances. His family arrives home shortly after, greeting us and asking how our evening has been.
After all the formalities, I say my goodbyes.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” Nathanial asks with a grin.
“Would you like to come to my place? I know my family would love to see you again,” I say. Nathanial looks for his mother’s approval, and she nods her head.
“I would love to. What time?” he answers excitedly.
“How about I come pick you up around eleven o’clock?” I suggest.
“Perfect.”
Nathanial wraps his arms around me in a loving embrace. I tuck my arms in around his waist. He lifts my head again and gently gives me a kiss goodnight. I can see his mom’s approving smile. He then walks me to my car, opens my door, and leans down for one more little kiss. I watch as he walks back up to the house. He turns and waves before he closes the door. I fling my head back and let out a huge sigh. I do not deserve this man. He is too good for me. I relish in the fact that after so many years, I have now found something, someone worth living for.
Immortal Embrace Page 29